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Aug 22, 2014
08/14
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>> steve: giada!s'a me, giada! artie, giada and i are going to play a game of catch phrase later in the show. it's going to be fun. [ cheers ] we played last time, and i got a little -- i got a little angry at giada. >> steve: did you really? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, she was my partner and, uh -- we just didn't click, you know? >> steve: really? >> jimmy: and i think she wants to play with me again. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: and try to, like, see if we can -- yeah, we were playing catchphrase and the answer's oatmeal. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: and she goes -- she's doing all this freaking out, like -- [ laughter ] oh, i have this for breakfast every morning. how do i know what you have for breakfast every morning? [ laughter ] >> steve: it's gonna be rough. but now, this is the time to heal wounds. >> jimmy: this is the time right now. because i love her. i mean, she's gorgeous, she's talented. she's fun. she's an amazing chef. she has a new restaurant, though. she's rich. [ laughter ] >>
>> steve: giada!s'a me, giada! artie, giada and i are going to play a game of catch phrase later in the show. it's going to be fun. [ cheers ] we played last time, and i got a little -- i got a little angry at giada. >> steve: did you really? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, she was my partner and, uh -- we just didn't click, you know? >> steve: really? >> jimmy: and i think she wants to play with me again. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: and try to,...
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368
Aug 1, 2014
08/14
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KNTV
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>> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: oh, gosh. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: all right, good. >> steve: keep it rolling: all right, there we go. guys, the other big news everyone is talking about is the trailer for "50 shades of grey" just came out. [ cheers and applause ] it's become the most-watched trailer of the year with more than 36 million views on youtube. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: so, that means it's time for "50 shapes of grape" -- where we send our writer, arthur, to the streets of new york city to get people's thoughts on the trailer and see whether or not they notice that he's mispronouncing "50 shaves of grey." [ laughter ] here we go. check it out. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ 50 shapes of grape >> have you seen the trailer for "50 shapes of grape"? >> i have, yes. >> have you read the book "50 snakes are great"? >> i have not read the book. [ laughter ] >> do you plan on seeing "50 sprays of clay" in the theater? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> have you seen the trailer for "shifty fades of grey"? >> no. >> have you read the book "kimmy bakes a cake"? [ laughter ] >> i'm getting ready to. >> do y
>> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: oh, gosh. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: all right, good. >> steve: keep it rolling: all right, there we go. guys, the other big news everyone is talking about is the trailer for "50 shades of grey" just came out. [ cheers and applause ] it's become the most-watched trailer of the year with more than 36 million views on youtube. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: so, that means it's time for "50 shapes of grape" -- where...
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608
Aug 12, 2014
08/14
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WCAU
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eye 608
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>> steve: who was? >> jimmy: chris hardwick. >> steve: are you serious?n sing. he really raged. >> steve: he rocks, as well? >> jimmy: he rocks and rolls. >> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: he does both. >> steve: i mostly roll. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, no particular order. you can roll and rock. have a cold rolling rock. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: but we have great music. oh man, everyone is excited about these guys. onerepublic is here. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're really -- they're a bunch of talented animals. [ laughter ] when they get together they sound like humans. >> steve: oh my gosh. you got the cougar. you got the bison. >> jimmy: you got to get the owl in there. >> steve: hoo! who? >> jimmy: who? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: onerepublic. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: want to hear it? here's a jam they're going to do tonight. let's check out a little taste of this. ♪ i got my mind made up and i can't let go i'm killing every second 'til it saves my soul ♪ ♪ i'll be running i'll be running 'til the love runs out 'til the
>> steve: who was? >> jimmy: chris hardwick. >> steve: are you serious?n sing. he really raged. >> steve: he rocks, as well? >> jimmy: he rocks and rolls. >> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: he does both. >> steve: i mostly roll. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, no particular order. you can roll and rock. have a cold rolling rock. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: but we have great music. oh man, everyone is excited about these guys....
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256
Aug 30, 2014
08/14
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eye 256
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>> steve: i got a shamrock shake. >> jimmy: okay. >> steve: and a mcrib. >> jimmy: that's cool. >> stevelaughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to hang up. have a good night. [ laughter ] [ imitates phone ringing ] [ laughter ] i'm not going to pick it up. i'm not going to pick it up. [ imitates phone ringing ] i'm going to do anything else. i'm moving on. >> steve: uh, yeah, this is jimmy fallon. leave your name and -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my voice -- >> steve: so, if you have a a message for me, just leave a a number -- >> jimmy: that's not my voice. >> steve: -- at the beep because i'm not home right now. so, if you want to reach me -- >> jimmy: it won't shut off! [ laughter ] >> steve: hello, hello. >> jimmy: hello? >> steve: yeah, hi. i was wondering if you want some crack? >> jimmy: all right, bye. [ laughter ] >> steve: that was your answering machine. >> jimmy: do you want crack with that? ♪ thank you, apple plans for a a smart wrist watch. wow, a device that can do all the things an iphones can do plus tell the time like an iphone does? count me in! [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve:
>> steve: i got a shamrock shake. >> jimmy: okay. >> steve: and a mcrib. >> jimmy: that's cool. >> stevelaughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to hang up. have a good night. [ laughter ] [ imitates phone ringing ] [ laughter ] i'm not going to pick it up. i'm not going to pick it up. [ imitates phone ringing ] i'm going to do anything else. i'm moving on. >> steve: uh, yeah, this is jimmy fallon. leave your name and -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my voice --...
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119
Aug 29, 2014
08/14
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>> steve: of. of. of! >> small? >> steve: up! >> tiny? miniature? >> steve: little, little, little.tle lady. little hot. >> "the little women." >> jimmy: yes! we did it! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: little women? what was it? >> jimmy: the champs! "little women!" >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: our thanks to steve higgins, halle berry, chris colfer. "extant" premieres tomorrow night at nine. you gotta watch that show. more of the "tonight show" after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ great rates for great rides. geico motorcycle, see how much you could save. new all-you-can-eat be the fcrosscut ribspplebee's and discover their tender bone-in flavor. just don't be the last to try them and their three irresistible sauces. i'm serious. do not be the last person. new crosscut ribs are now all-you-can-eat for a limited time. only at applebee's. and come in late night for half-price apps. ♪ [laughter] you're next. play the 5 gum truth or dare challenge and you could win a sensory adventure. when delta bath...g") ...shower... ...toilet... ...and faucet inno
>> steve: of. of. of! >> small? >> steve: up! >> tiny? miniature? >> steve: little, little, little.tle lady. little hot. >> "the little women." >> jimmy: yes! we did it! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: little women? what was it? >> jimmy: the champs! "little women!" >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: our thanks to steve higgins, halle berry, chris colfer. "extant" premieres tomorrow night at nine. you...
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2.0K
Aug 16, 2014
08/14
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>> steve: that's it, man.y: nothing but monkey milk protein bars. they're the best ones. you get monkey milk. that's the best protein bar. >> steve: if you don't get it, you're a fool. you're a damn fool if you don't get monkey milk. we got a fool. >> jimmy: don't call me a fool. i'm just saying -- >> steve: what did you get? did you get monkey milk? >> jimmy: i don't know what kind of protein bar i got. i just -- >> steve: oh, you should. if you don't know what's going in your body, then you're some kind of fool. i went to cinnabon the other day, i got the little tiny ones. >> jimmy: you do? >> steve: yeah, about eight, nine of them. squeeze them up in the tube, shove them down my throat. two -- [ laughter ] i figured i'd down the monkey milk. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, u.p.s., for leaving a mysterious riddle on my door whenever i miss a a package. [ laughter ] you were here? where, when? you were here? are you here now? [ laughter ] can you see me reading this? come back, u.p.s. person! [ ominous mu
>> steve: that's it, man.y: nothing but monkey milk protein bars. they're the best ones. you get monkey milk. that's the best protein bar. >> steve: if you don't get it, you're a fool. you're a damn fool if you don't get monkey milk. we got a fool. >> jimmy: don't call me a fool. i'm just saying -- >> steve: what did you get? did you get monkey milk? >> jimmy: i don't know what kind of protein bar i got. i just -- >> steve: oh, you should. if you don't know...
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1.8K
Aug 2, 2014
08/14
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>> steve: martin! >> jimmy: martin! >> steve: martin! we just watched some clips of him on youtube. he's just one -- made me cry. laughing at some of his bits. i just can't wait to talk to this guy. he's great. plus, i'm so happy for this girl. >> steve: she's wonderful. >> jimmy: she stars in a new tv show and a movie. the very funny jenny slate is dropping by. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: having a good year. >> steve: she's a lovely, lovely person. lovely. >> jimmy: having a great year. >> steve: fantastic. and we have great music. this guy was on our show when we did "late night." he sang -- ♪ i need a dollar dollar, dollar hey hey hey ♪ >> jimmy: hey hey hey. hey hey hey. the duet was featuring fat albert. >> steve: are you serious? [ talking over each other ] albert, don't sing! >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: and then they laugh like this -- ah-ha, ah-ha! [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] but they're not, but they're not like school on sunday. >> jimmy: they're not. >> steve: no. they have class. >> j
>> steve: martin! >> jimmy: martin! >> steve: martin! we just watched some clips of him on youtube. he's just one -- made me cry. laughing at some of his bits. i just can't wait to talk to this guy. he's great. plus, i'm so happy for this girl. >> steve: she's wonderful. >> jimmy: she stars in a new tv show and a movie. the very funny jenny slate is dropping by. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: having a good year. >> steve: she's...
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115
Aug 23, 2014
08/14
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steve was laughing in the hallway. steve, why aren't you saving our jobs? he made the rid includes demands. he fights hour 1/2, japan comes back like germany against brazil. and they are crushing the mighty steve jobs, one after another. an finally, yea, cannon has won won on all six points but in that moment the power shifted right back across the table to steve. he got the 100 million and got the robots he promised ross perot. going backwards now, this is steve's office before the launch. secrecy was paramount even then. this is ross at educom. did the fantastic launch. was enormous. huge success. 08 magazine covers. most people dino the prototype was running. it was running on a sun work station backstage. it wasn't really running. one time ross and i were standing in a group watching steve, steve had a problem with somebody and going off on somebody, yelling at somebody about 30 feet away. everyone is watching awkwardly. ross leans over, whispers in my ear, well now, steve remind me of myself when i was 30. then i learned you catch more flies with honey
steve was laughing in the hallway. steve, why aren't you saving our jobs? he made the rid includes demands. he fights hour 1/2, japan comes back like germany against brazil. and they are crushing the mighty steve jobs, one after another. an finally, yea, cannon has won won on all six points but in that moment the power shifted right back across the table to steve. he got the 100 million and got the robots he promised ross perot. going backwards now, this is steve's office before the launch....
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501
Aug 6, 2014
08/14
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>> steve: yeah.a little -- >> jimmy: here's the last one here. >> steve: all right, let me hear it. >> jimmy: finally -- "the ghost of the bride murdered on her wedding night definitely helped reignite my religious faith. i've never prayed harder before in my life. highly recommend if you like getting the crap scared out of you." [ cheers and applause ] five stars on yelp. what's the problem? sense a little sarcasm in there. >> steve: a little bit. >> jimmy: this is cool. it was announced that the broadway musical "cinderella" is getting it's first african-american in the staring role. "cinderella." [ applause ] that's great. it gets a little awkward when prince charming is like "hey, did anyone see that girl last night who i was dancing with? she was -- [ laughter ] the girl i was with. you must have seen. she was wearing the blue dress. she's tall. brown eyes. [ laughter ] brown hair. [ laughter ] no one? i'll just go around town and see who fits in this shoe, i guess." [ laughter ] this is just a
>> steve: yeah.a little -- >> jimmy: here's the last one here. >> steve: all right, let me hear it. >> jimmy: finally -- "the ghost of the bride murdered on her wedding night definitely helped reignite my religious faith. i've never prayed harder before in my life. highly recommend if you like getting the crap scared out of you." [ cheers and applause ] five stars on yelp. what's the problem? sense a little sarcasm in there. >> steve: a little bit....
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589
Aug 5, 2014
08/14
by
KNTV
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>> steve: move on!jimmy: let it go. ♪ let it go let it go ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: i got that on blu-ray. >> jimmy: some more news from the white house here. i heard that joe biden's personal aide is leaving after eight years with the vice president. [ audience aws ] when he heard his assistant was leaving biden said, "guess i got to ditch the laces and switch to velcro." [ laughter ] it's just a little more classy with the shoe laces. speaking of biden, did you hear about this book that's coming out? it's like the secret service releasing a tell-all book? and they say a lot of the agents are trying to avoid protecting the vice president because he frequently goes skinny dipping. >> steve: ooh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the worst part is that's just in the fountain at the mall. it's like, "sir. sir, it says to put your pennies in there. not your -- you're reading it wrong." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: that's why they call him the vice president. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: listen to this. the
>> steve: move on!jimmy: let it go. ♪ let it go let it go ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: i got that on blu-ray. >> jimmy: some more news from the white house here. i heard that joe biden's personal aide is leaving after eight years with the vice president. [ audience aws ] when he heard his assistant was leaving biden said, "guess i got to ditch the laces and switch to velcro." [ laughter ] it's just a little more classy with the shoe laces. speaking of biden, did you...
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331
Aug 19, 2014
08/14
by
WCAU
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eye 331
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>> steve: why would he say that?mmy: next up, we have seattle seahawks running back marshawn lynch. [ laughter ] let's see his bio. "when love is in front of me, it's the only thing i can focus on." [ laughter and applause ] that's beautiful. beautiful sentiment. >> steve: that's a beautiful sentiment. from the heart. >> jimmy: from the heart. >> steve: from the heart. >> jimmy: next up, we have cincinnati bengals quarterback andy dalton. let's see his bio. "i'd say the carpet matches the drapes, but there is no carpet." >> steve: what!? [ audience oohs ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: why -- why would you -- >> steve: why would he type that? why would he choose that for his profile? >> jimmy: it doesn't seem like a good pick-up line, no. here's nfl legend john madden. [ light laughter ] let's see his bio. "i hope you have what i'm looking for, girl -- a a turducken. nom nom nom nom nom nom." that's it. [ laughter and applause ] it's a chicken -- duck shoved up a chicken, shoved up a a turkey, and then you deep fry it. >> st
>> steve: why would he say that?mmy: next up, we have seattle seahawks running back marshawn lynch. [ laughter ] let's see his bio. "when love is in front of me, it's the only thing i can focus on." [ laughter and applause ] that's beautiful. beautiful sentiment. >> steve: that's a beautiful sentiment. from the heart. >> jimmy: from the heart. >> steve: from the heart. >> jimmy: next up, we have cincinnati bengals quarterback andy dalton. let's see his...
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273
Aug 9, 2014
08/14
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can't hit. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: can't throw. >> steve: what do you say?all them, baby desks. [ laughter ] get some work done. >> steve: yeah, couple weeks out of the office. >> jimmy: get a little work done. the home office. >> steve: throw spaghetti all over the place. >> jimmy: tough commute from my crib to the -- [ laughter ] i got to start hitting the bottle. it's two for tuesday. i'm so excited -- i'm so excited i might pee pants, well it depends. [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, fish sticks, for not being called cod rods. [ laughter ] there you guys go. [ cheers and applause ] they could be. those are think you notes! we'll be right back with jeff bridges! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ boys, can i get some help? i don't know. can you? guess you don't want doritos. ♪ [ whistles ] [ whimpers ] ♪ ha! ♪ [ crunch! ] yay! whoo-hoo. so, which would you choose?a big part of your job. this one that cleans or this one that cleans and protects against dryness? that one. that's it. you got one question for me? dove men+care bodywash cleans and protects against dryness.
can't hit. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: can't throw. >> steve: what do you say?all them, baby desks. [ laughter ] get some work done. >> steve: yeah, couple weeks out of the office. >> jimmy: get a little work done. the home office. >> steve: throw spaghetti all over the place. >> jimmy: tough commute from my crib to the -- [ laughter ] i got to start hitting the bottle. it's two for tuesday. i'm so excited -- i'm so excited i might pee pants, well it...
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341
Aug 20, 2014
08/14
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KNTV
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>> steve: yo!d applause ] >> jimmy: they're nice guys. >> steve: nice guys. >> jimmy: they've always been nice to me those guys. i like those guys. they should be nice. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't do anything to them. >> steve: no, you weren't mean. >> jimmy: no, i wasn't mean or anything. >> steve: no, you didn't make any cracks or japes or joke wise. >> jimmy: i can't remember any. >> steve: are you sure? >> jimmy: i might have said something. >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i know. they always -- we met back in "snl." they're just -- >> steve: they were super sweet. >> jimmy: yeah, nice guys. guys, it's time to take a look at these stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, we will be taking a look at pros and cons of going on a juice cleanse. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey-oh! >> jimmy: it's this fad diet where you
>> steve: yo!d applause ] >> jimmy: they're nice guys. >> steve: nice guys. >> jimmy: they've always been nice to me those guys. i like those guys. they should be nice. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't do anything to them. >> steve: no, you weren't mean. >> jimmy: no, i wasn't mean or anything. >> steve: no, you didn't make any cracks or japes or joke wise. >> jimmy: i can't remember any. >> steve: are you...
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378
Aug 23, 2014
08/14
by
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♪ >> steve: what? >> jimmy: what happened? >> steve: there you go. now, he was smiling before.ggling. >> jimmy: someone stole his tie apparently. [ laughter ] >> steve: he's going as david lynch for halloween. >> jimmy: is that right? james lynch? >> steve: yeah. ♪ thank you, 13 year-old female pitcher mo'ne davis for being the breakout star of the little league world series. [ cheers and applause ] and showing the world that throwing like a girl can actually be a good thing. [ cheers and applause ] right, dad? [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: throw that wicker ball over here. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, the woman in spain who was arrested at an airport with more than three pounds of cocaine hidden in her breast implants. for giving new meaning to the term "drug bust." [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> steve: you know what? you know what? >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: i bet the guy who found that felt like a boob. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, texas governor rick perry's mugshot, for looking like every villain in a john grisham novel. [ laughter ] they do look like that. ♪
♪ >> steve: what? >> jimmy: what happened? >> steve: there you go. now, he was smiling before.ggling. >> jimmy: someone stole his tie apparently. [ laughter ] >> steve: he's going as david lynch for halloween. >> jimmy: is that right? james lynch? >> steve: yeah. ♪ thank you, 13 year-old female pitcher mo'ne davis for being the breakout star of the little league world series. [ cheers and applause ] and showing the world that throwing like a girl...
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869
Aug 7, 2014
08/14
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KNTV
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. >> steve: you and wiz? i don't know, maybe. is it too late to trade partners? >> steve: what? >> jimmy: i think wiz is my partner. he's gonna be like -- [ laughter ] >> steve: you're drawing a a bong. no. >> jimmy: no, i'm not drawing a a bong. [ laughter ] do you guys ever go online or watch tv and you see some weird, random thing on your screen. something that's just like accidentally funny. well, we asked you guys to keep an eye out for the stuff like that and take a screengrab of it and send it to us. we got a ton of great ones in. now, i want to share some of our favorites. it's time for screengrabs. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: the first screengrab was sent in to us by derrick tillis in eau claire, wisconsin. it's a craiglist ad that he saw. let's see what it's for. it's for new, never-worn wedding dress. [ light laughter ] that's great. but look at the photo. it's clearly being worn by -- >> steve: by someone. >> jimmy: -- someone. i believed him for a second that that was never wo
. >> steve: you and wiz? i don't know, maybe. is it too late to trade partners? >> steve: what? >> jimmy: i think wiz is my partner. he's gonna be like -- [ laughter ] >> steve: you're drawing a a bong. no. >> jimmy: no, i'm not drawing a a bong. [ laughter ] do you guys ever go online or watch tv and you see some weird, random thing on your screen. something that's just like accidentally funny. well, we asked you guys to keep an eye out for the stuff like that and...
659
659
Aug 8, 2014
08/14
by
KNTV
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eye 659
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>> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: what was my score? >> steve: two!ht there. ♪ thank you for playing. give it up for will arnett right there. "teenage mutant ninja turtles" opens in 3d, in theaters everywhere on friday. stick around. we'll be back with more of "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ shelly ] as a graduate of devry university and keller graduate school of management, a business career was my goal. this was my career training camp... my professors... they were also my coaches. and my biggest supporters. their guidance from start to finish... helped me get my latest promotion...at microsoft. [ male announcer ] get started now with our merit based career catalyst scholarship. new students could qualify for up to $20,000. funds are limited. to be considered you must apply by august 29th at devry.edu. and a tablet when i'm an illustrator. [ roars ] creativity comes in many forms. and this intel processor lets me adapt to it. [ intel bong ] why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? this is the age of knowingor what you're made of
>> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: what was my score? >> steve: two!ht there. ♪ thank you for playing. give it up for will arnett right there. "teenage mutant ninja turtles" opens in 3d, in theaters everywhere on friday. stick around. we'll be back with more of "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ shelly ] as a graduate of devry university and keller graduate school of management, a business career was my goal. this was my career training...
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170
Aug 15, 2014
08/14
by
WCAU
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eye 170
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>> steve: wow. >> jimmy: he just whipped a a football around. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. of when cronkite reported on watergate while spinning a basketball on his finger. >> steve: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: president nixon -- and during all of this, president obama has decided to go on vacation, of course. [ light laughter ] and he's gotten a lot of criticism for that. and now, obama is facing criticism for coming back to work for a couple days because they say it wastes taxpayer money. or as obama put it, "28 more months, two weeks, four days and 16 hours. get through this. we can't win, just get through this." [ cheers and applause ] actually, the white house says that president obama won't make any major announcements during his brief trip back to d.c. this weekend. the reporters were like, "well, isn't that an announcement?" [ laughter ] they're like, "damn it." [ laughter ] that's right. the white house says that obama won't make any major announcements during his trip back to d.c., but the white house did say that obama would be making some minor announcement
>> steve: wow. >> jimmy: he just whipped a a football around. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. of when cronkite reported on watergate while spinning a basketball on his finger. >> steve: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: president nixon -- and during all of this, president obama has decided to go on vacation, of course. [ light laughter ] and he's gotten a lot of criticism for that. and now, obama is facing criticism for coming back to work for a couple days...
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218
Aug 20, 2014
08/14
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WCAU
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eye 218
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>> steve: whoa!ghter ] >> jimmy: if i'm a raccoon, i would -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he says that toronto's raccoons are too aggressive. he was like, "by the time they're done rummaging through the trash, there's hardly anything left for me. i mean, what am i supposed to do? we got to get on this and fix this problem!" [ cheers and applause ] some sports news. yesterday, the clippers' new owner, former microsoft executive, steve ballmer -- he now owns the clippers. yeah, well, he promised fans that the team will win an nba championship. [ light laughter ] he says he has a great strategy for rebuilding the team -- control-alt-delete. that's what he said, and then we'll see -- when it comes back up, we'll see what we do. [ laughter and applause ] actually, steve ballmer spoke to fans at the clippers' rally yesterday. but it's hard to tell, but i think that he was pretty excited about his new team. i don't know. >> do we have any clipper fans here? these guys bust their butt for you! one more time, l
>> steve: whoa!ghter ] >> jimmy: if i'm a raccoon, i would -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he says that toronto's raccoons are too aggressive. he was like, "by the time they're done rummaging through the trash, there's hardly anything left for me. i mean, what am i supposed to do? we got to get on this and fix this problem!" [ cheers and applause ] some sports news. yesterday, the clippers' new owner, former microsoft executive, steve ballmer -- he now owns the...
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Aug 4, 2014
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amazingly, steve agreed. of course, steve was already thinking about this. my timing was great. i stayed three years, and as john said, steve blessed me with distrust and is able to go through the valley and expand my project for three years and cover most of the leading innovators in over 70 companies and i shot a lot of film, a lot of startups. and now that material is at stanford library were is is being preserved as a resource and that's why with the scanning we've done we can bring you now the "fearless genius" book in this exhibition. we're trying to do a documentary now and then education program and continue this as, to share and celebrate the history of what happened during those days and bring those lessons forward to today's entrepreneur. i'm going to begin with steve were beginning of them share a number of stores with you today but this is where i started with steve jobs. we all know about his great success, but most people outside about don't know about the 10 years of struggle and failure the went through. one day we were talking and they were trying to put the po
amazingly, steve agreed. of course, steve was already thinking about this. my timing was great. i stayed three years, and as john said, steve blessed me with distrust and is able to go through the valley and expand my project for three years and cover most of the leading innovators in over 70 companies and i shot a lot of film, a lot of startups. and now that material is at stanford library were is is being preserved as a resource and that's why with the scanning we've done we can bring you now...
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Aug 14, 2014
08/14
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vez. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah! >> i steve: si! just don't. >> jimmy: solo solo no haga no. sir, do not eat that corn dog. seÑor, no coma a aquel perro de maiz. don't eat that corn -- no coma aquel maiz that's going to be a bad photo, esto va a ser una foto mala, le i'm telling you. digo. it's gonna haunt you. esto va a perseguirle. >> steve: i've got to eat that >> steve: tengo que comer a corn dog. a aquel perro de maiz. >> jimmy: don't eat that corn >> jimmy: no coma a aquel perro dog. de maiz. >> steve: i gotta eat that corn >> steve: debo comer a aquel dog. perro de maiz. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you don't have to >> jimmy: no, ud. no tiene que eat that corn dog. comer a aquel perro de maiz. >> steve: i've got to eat the >> i steve: tengo que comer al corn dog! perro de maiz! >> jimmy: sir, please, put the >> jimmy: seÑor, por favor, corn dog down. dejo al perro de maiz. or use a fork and knife. o use un tenedor y cuchillo. [ laughter ] rick perry is fueling rick perry abastece de combustible la especulacion que speculation
vez. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah! >> i steve: si! just don't. >> jimmy: solo solo no haga no. sir, do not eat that corn dog. seÑor, no coma a aquel perro de maiz. don't eat that corn -- no coma aquel maiz that's going to be a bad photo, esto va a ser una foto mala, le i'm telling you. digo. it's gonna haunt you. esto va a perseguirle. >> steve: i've got to eat that >> steve: tengo que comer a corn dog. a aquel perro de maiz. >> jimmy: don't eat that corn...
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Aug 14, 2014
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steve: i've got to eat the corn dog!ease, put the corn dog down. or use a fork and knife. [ laughter ] rick perry is fueling speculation that he'll run in 2016 by visiting the iowa state fair. unfortunately, he hurt his chances by holding a two hour conversation with that butter sculpture of kevin costner. [ laughter ] "i loved you in 'dances with wolves'. want a corn dog?" [ laughter ] some pretty big sports news here. it's being reported that the sale of the los angeles clippers is finally complete and now former microsoft ceo, steve ballmer, owns the team. ballmer has assured everyone that there will be no repeat of what happened with donald sterling. in fact, his wife had this to say -- >> i think he's going to be a a great -- >> jimmy: i mean, already -- already i just see something -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: starting off the -- yeah. [ laughter ] here's a local story. people who dress up as characters in time square are talking about forming a union after the recent -- [ laughter ] -- after the recent run-ins wit
steve: i've got to eat the corn dog!ease, put the corn dog down. or use a fork and knife. [ laughter ] rick perry is fueling speculation that he'll run in 2016 by visiting the iowa state fair. unfortunately, he hurt his chances by holding a two hour conversation with that butter sculpture of kevin costner. [ laughter ] "i loved you in 'dances with wolves'. want a corn dog?" [ laughter ] some pretty big sports news here. it's being reported that the sale of the los angeles clippers is...
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Aug 4, 2014
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even steve jobs used to eat there."a's sort of taken aback and bites her tongue and doesn't say, "steve jobs is your son." but she looks shocked, and he says, "yeah, he was a great tipper." >> and i was in that restaurant once or twice, and i remember meeting the owner, who was from syria, and it was most certainly him, and i shook his hand, and he shook my hand, and that's all. >> and jobs never spoke to him, never talked to him, never got in touch with him, never wanted to see him. [ticking] >> coming up, steve jobs delays cancer surgery. >> how could such a smart man do such a stupid thing? >> you know, i think that he kind of felt that if you ignore something, if you don't want something to exist, you can have magical thinking, and it had worked for him in the past. >> more steve jobs when 60 minutes on cnbc returns. you're driving along, having a perfectly nice day, when out of nowhere a pick-up truck slams into your brand new car. one second it wasn't there and the next second... boom! you've had your first accide
even steve jobs used to eat there."a's sort of taken aback and bites her tongue and doesn't say, "steve jobs is your son." but she looks shocked, and he says, "yeah, he was a great tipper." >> and i was in that restaurant once or twice, and i remember meeting the owner, who was from syria, and it was most certainly him, and i shook his hand, and he shook my hand, and that's all. >> and jobs never spoke to him, never talked to him, never got in touch with...
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Aug 27, 2014
08/14
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>> steve: ice-t! don't forget next week, we'll be coming to you from universal studios in orlando, florida. [ cheers and applause ] i'm excited about that. >> steve: orlando. >> jimmy: but, first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. something awesome is happening here. jim carrey and jeff daniels are stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and they have brought the world premiere of the trailer from their new movie "dumb and dumber to." [ cheers and applause ] that's right. this is it. plus, she stars in "orange is the new black", taylor schilling is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] everybody loves her. oh, my gosh. killing it on that show. and we have music from ed sheeran. oh, my goodness. we had ed on the show. the first show years ago, right? yeah. we were his -- >> questlove: first appearance. >> jimmy: we were, right? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: first appearance on u.s. television. he was on late night. baby ed sheeran. >> baby ed sheeran. >> jimmy: he came on. he sang "a-team", right? >> yeah. >
>> steve: ice-t! don't forget next week, we'll be coming to you from universal studios in orlando, florida. [ cheers and applause ] i'm excited about that. >> steve: orlando. >> jimmy: but, first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. something awesome is happening here. jim carrey and jeff daniels are stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and they have brought the world premiere of the trailer from their new movie "dumb and dumber to." [ cheers and applause ] that's...
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Aug 17, 2014
08/14
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do we have steve back? steve, if we can bring you back in. it does seem like the streets are quieter now. is that the case from what you're seeing on the ground? >> reporter: it's really hard to tell what's going on up where the confrontation was taking place. it's gotten much further away from us as the police advanced on the demonstrators that were there. i do want to point out when this started there were 150 to 200 people out on the street in ferguson on the avenue here. so initially when the curfew went into effect there was that number of people out here. presumably because the alderman came back and told us there was i smaller number defying the order, we can only presume that a lot of people we saw earlier decided to go home, turn around and leave. i just want to make sure we're making a distinct that when the curfew went into effect there was a larger crowd of people who initially didn't leave. >> thank you so much. >> reporter: we're trying to hear what's going on out there. we're hearing reports of people coming out of the crowd. w
do we have steve back? steve, if we can bring you back in. it does seem like the streets are quieter now. is that the case from what you're seeing on the ground? >> reporter: it's really hard to tell what's going on up where the confrontation was taking place. it's gotten much further away from us as the police advanced on the demonstrators that were there. i do want to point out when this started there were 150 to 200 people out on the street in ferguson on the avenue here. so initially...
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Aug 31, 2014
08/14
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>> guest: wozniak with steve jobs partner in the founding of apple. once again it shows how partnership and teamwork should work. was the act creates a circuit board for what becomes the apple wanted in the apple ii. he's an absolute genius at knowing how to create with very few components in order to turn it into a hobbyist computer that type of computer you can use at home. he loved giving it away. it's part of the hacker ethos. he takes a sheet, this grammatic sheet and gives it away to the computer club so they can build one but what happens is his friend from just down the street steve jobs says no we should build a similar should sell them so they create a little company which they call apple. what it takes to innovate is not just a person who has the idea which is what the yak, it also takes a person a says howard going to execute at? our going to turn us into a commercial machine which is what steve jobs did. how we are we going to put a bit of a case on to? how are we going to get a power supply? how we gather it all together so the greatest
>> guest: wozniak with steve jobs partner in the founding of apple. once again it shows how partnership and teamwork should work. was the act creates a circuit board for what becomes the apple wanted in the apple ii. he's an absolute genius at knowing how to create with very few components in order to turn it into a hobbyist computer that type of computer you can use at home. he loved giving it away. it's part of the hacker ethos. he takes a sheet, this grammatic sheet and gives it away...
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Aug 21, 2014
08/14
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sweet barbecue steve.its infinite wisdom. now is the time for an intense staredown. >> jimmy: i have achieved full and complete balance. my heart beats once per minute. my body is an arid tundra. [ cheers and applause ] >> i am a succubus. sexual energy emanates from my epidermals. i smell of ocean birds. >> jimmy: gaze into the eyeball. i am a snow leopard. my grunts are my music. [ grunting ] [ laughter ] >> my scars are my poetry. my veins are my brains. [ laughter ] the creases in my palms tell the stories of 1,000 titulated she-beasts. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i howl at the moon. the moon does not howl back. i howl harder. the moon does not howl back. i howl, yet again, even harder. [ howling ] the moon refuses to howl back. this goes on for 2 1/2 hours. [ laughter ] >> i have spoken to the earth. i've scaled every tree. i've crawled through the trenches. this is their message. haters gon' hate. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: [ speaking foreign language ] khloe kardashian. [ laughter ] >> i am swee
sweet barbecue steve.its infinite wisdom. now is the time for an intense staredown. >> jimmy: i have achieved full and complete balance. my heart beats once per minute. my body is an arid tundra. [ cheers and applause ] >> i am a succubus. sexual energy emanates from my epidermals. i smell of ocean birds. >> jimmy: gaze into the eyeball. i am a snow leopard. my grunts are my music. [ grunting ] [ laughter ] >> my scars are my poetry. my veins are my brains. [ laughter ]...
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Aug 18, 2014
08/14
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steve, what are you seeing?er: i have backed away from the police lines because the teargas was so thick. i assume you can hear me better now. we see a line of armored vehicles and hundreds of police officers in riot gear wearing gas masks. faced off against protesters 100, 150 yards in front of them at the location where we were broadcasting from earlier in the week. you see the quick stop gas station. the events here turned very quickly on a dime. there is a command center at a target shopping center a couple of blocks away. the demonstrators started marching that n that direction. we started seeing blue lights, hearing the signs that pthey wee firing into the crowd. we already saw this situation evolving. and the riot police were lined up, pushing back the demonstrators. while that was going on they were firing teargas canisters and smoke in several directions. several canisters landed in the parking lot where the media is situated hereme. we had all started gathering there in advance of the curfews tonight.
steve, what are you seeing?er: i have backed away from the police lines because the teargas was so thick. i assume you can hear me better now. we see a line of armored vehicles and hundreds of police officers in riot gear wearing gas masks. faced off against protesters 100, 150 yards in front of them at the location where we were broadcasting from earlier in the week. you see the quick stop gas station. the events here turned very quickly on a dime. there is a command center at a target...
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Aug 26, 2014
08/14
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steves: grazie.ere in this great city of art, there's no shortage of treasures in need of a little tlc. this is beautiful. how old is this panting? woman: this is a 17th-century painting. steves: from florence? woman: we don't know. -maybe the area is genova. -steves: genova. each shop addresses a need with passion and expertise. fine instruments deserve the finest care. grand palaces sparkle with gold leaf, thanks to the delicate and exacting skills of craftspeople like this. a satisfying way to wrap up an oltrarno experience is to enjoy a florentine steakhouse, which any italian meat lover knows means chianina beef. the quality is proudly on display. steaks are sold by weight and generally shared. the standard serving is about a kilo for two, meaning about a pound per person. so, both of those for four people? woman: yes. steves: the preparation is simple and well established. good luck if you want it well done. man: i am hungry, yeah. oh, look at this. ah! steves: oh, beautiful. [ laughs ] man: wo
steves: grazie.ere in this great city of art, there's no shortage of treasures in need of a little tlc. this is beautiful. how old is this panting? woman: this is a 17th-century painting. steves: from florence? woman: we don't know. -maybe the area is genova. -steves: genova. each shop addresses a need with passion and expertise. fine instruments deserve the finest care. grand palaces sparkle with gold leaf, thanks to the delicate and exacting skills of craftspeople like this. a satisfying way...
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Aug 17, 2014
08/14
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he grew up twice if you knew steve jobs yearly one was obnoxious but the death of robert noyce and steve jobs illness is what created the steve jobs of legend and now his reputation which could not get any higher three year four years ago is slowly fading as the next postcolonial generation comes along to look at as mark september but that will not work. [laughter] i think they are focusing on elon musk if he is the next leader. >> jack dorsey at square looking out what jobs was able to do to get to that point to. >> it is interesting. talking to andy he suggested something happens that people accelerate away and do something so imaginable they reset the rules. we saw that first with hewlett-packard with the great run then resawed at intel where it just takes the world with the processors in changes everything. and then jobs gives us the greatest ryan with three category creating under $1 billion industry is. that is when it becomes supranatural and they are terrified but they keep going. that is worthy of the story. not just the results but what made them who they are set. >> host: the
he grew up twice if you knew steve jobs yearly one was obnoxious but the death of robert noyce and steve jobs illness is what created the steve jobs of legend and now his reputation which could not get any higher three year four years ago is slowly fading as the next postcolonial generation comes along to look at as mark september but that will not work. [laughter] i think they are focusing on elon musk if he is the next leader. >> jack dorsey at square looking out what jobs was able to...
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Aug 28, 2014
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don't worry about it. >> steve: i'm not worried. >> jimmy: well then forget about it. >> steve: okay.aughter ] >> jimmy: the rangers' season would have ended if they lost. with just about a minute left in the game -- did you see this last night? the kings came really close to tying it up. it was awesome. look how close the puck came to going in the net. this is real. look at this. >> does anybody get a glove on it? the hand over -- >> jimmy: it stops and then he goes in! "oh, don't move your legs. duke it out, yeah! ooh!" that's legal somehow, i like it. somehow that's legal. he's like moving his foot. like, "don't move your foot, i got it." so awesome. so exciting. it looked like he was going to score, but didn't. which was also my high school yearbook quote. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] speaking of sports, today was the start of the world cup. [ cheers and applause ] world cup. it's that special time of year when americans in bars are like, guess we're watching this now. [ laughter ] is that all that's on? is there a lumberjack competition on espn5 or something? [ laughter ]
don't worry about it. >> steve: i'm not worried. >> jimmy: well then forget about it. >> steve: okay.aughter ] >> jimmy: the rangers' season would have ended if they lost. with just about a minute left in the game -- did you see this last night? the kings came really close to tying it up. it was awesome. look how close the puck came to going in the net. this is real. look at this. >> does anybody get a glove on it? the hand over -- >> jimmy: it stops and then...
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Aug 13, 2014
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>> steve: and now, here's your host, jimmy fallon! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very, very much. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. it's going to be a great show. well, here's what people are talking about. i saw that president obama went to the beach yesterday while he's vacationing on martha's vineyard. which got weird when he took out his metal detector to search for $16 trillion in quarters. [ laughter ] he's like, "hey look. oh. oh, just a bottle cap, damn it." a lot of people are upset that president obama went to the beach yesterday with everything that's going on in the world. you know, times are tough for obama because even the sharks were like, "i'm not going near that guy." i mean, it's just bad. [ laughter ] but i think obama understands people's concerns. after spending the day at the beach, he said, "this has been fun but i should really get back to the golf course because priorities are priorities." [ laughter ] also, during a fund-r
>> steve: and now, here's your host, jimmy fallon! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very, very much. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. it's going to be a great show. well, here's what people are talking about. i saw that president obama went to the beach yesterday while he's vacationing on martha's vineyard. which got weird when he took out his metal detector to search for $16 trillion...
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Aug 4, 2014
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steve could not answer.is wife says these kids now see steve as a champion. >> those kids can now put their face on that expectation. that's what steve did. >> steve says his feat shows no matter your circumstances you can do much more than you ever imagined. >> and that's it for this week's second look. i'm frank somerville. we leave you with views of wildlife taken by ktvu news photographers over the years. >> ♪ a life well lived deserves a beer well brewed. fewer calories. fewer carbs. more refreshment. it's what makes a superior light beer... superior. michelob ultra. (gasps) did you see it? does she know? this is the last thing she needs today. no! busy day at the dunphy compound. we have a wedding tonight, and this afternoon, claire is debating duane bailey in the race for town council. (lowered voice) and now the "weekly saver" says that some voters find claire-- quote-- "angry and unlikable." to those voters, i say, "wait till she sees this." no one can mention it to her. we can't have some unscienti
steve could not answer.is wife says these kids now see steve as a champion. >> those kids can now put their face on that expectation. that's what steve did. >> steve says his feat shows no matter your circumstances you can do much more than you ever imagined. >> and that's it for this week's second look. i'm frank somerville. we leave you with views of wildlife taken by ktvu news photographers over the years. >> ♪ a life well lived deserves a beer well brewed. fewer...
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Aug 29, 2014
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that is where steve keeley is this morning, steve. >> reporter: i'm looking dark because we're keeping the the light off me so we don't have light in oncoming driver's faces. this may get cleared up because of some good work here. a tow truck train crying to right side this tractor trailer. it is completely hoisted in the air right now swinging. they had to put it down a couple of times. this looks like it is load add cording to the guys i'm talking to. this driver is very lucky because he is in the westbound lanes but we will pan up to the right and see this little hill here this guy was heading toward the city eastbound, lost control, either fell asleep or somehow went out of control and flipped over into on coming traffic that tells you how bad this could have been. luckily no drivers were heading towards him, going westbound at 60 miles an hour or this would have been a terrible accident. as it is, it is just a problem accident right now and since it its still almost the middle of the night not causing much of a traffic delay, and backup because as we walk back around the other sid
that is where steve keeley is this morning, steve. >> reporter: i'm looking dark because we're keeping the the light off me so we don't have light in oncoming driver's faces. this may get cleared up because of some good work here. a tow truck train crying to right side this tractor trailer. it is completely hoisted in the air right now swinging. they had to put it down a couple of times. this looks like it is load add cording to the guys i'm talking to. this driver is very lucky because...
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Aug 19, 2014
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camera, go ahead, steve. keep going. >> you can see. this is about it as far as protestors here. i'd say less than 100. at this hour. probably more media than protestors at this point. police have -- >> we can see -- >> mike tobin? what's happening? >> tear gas is out. there are a couple pops came. that is a flash bang. a lot of flash bangs and a lot of smoke. smoke does have tear gas in it. wow. >> do you need a mask, mike? no. i don't. um, all right. a good bit of tear gas went out. sounded like firecracker that's got everything started up here. i don't understand why they did that. people just standing around on the side of the street. why did they fire this? well, there are people who are in the middle of the street, shep. a lot of people in the middle of the street. they've been taunting the officers for some time. they'd blocked the street, barricaded it, if you will, with a bunch of different objects some road signs they pulled off the street. and you heard the order of the officer to mask up. i see th
camera, go ahead, steve. keep going. >> you can see. this is about it as far as protestors here. i'd say less than 100. at this hour. probably more media than protestors at this point. police have -- >> we can see -- >> mike tobin? what's happening? >> tear gas is out. there are a couple pops came. that is a flash bang. a lot of flash bangs and a lot of smoke. smoke does have tear gas in it. wow. >> do you need a mask, mike? no. i don't. um, all right. a good bit...
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Aug 19, 2014
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camera, go ahead, steve. keep going. >> you can see. this is about it as far as protestors here. i'd say less than 100. at this hour. probably more media than protestors at this point. police have -- >> we can see -- >> mike tobin? what's happening? >> tear gas is out. there are a couple pops came. that is a flash bang. a lot of flash bangs and a lot of smoke. smoke does have tear gas in it. wow. >> do you need a mask, mike? no. i don't. um, all right. a good bit of tear gas went out. sounded like firecracker that's got everything started up here. i don't understand why they did that. people just standing around on the side of the street. why did they fire this? well, there are people who are in the middle of the street, shep. a lot of people in the middle of the street. they've been taunting the officers for some time. they'd blocked the street, barricaded it, if you will, with a bunch of different objects some road signs they pulled off the street. and you heard the order of the officer to mask up. i see th
camera, go ahead, steve. keep going. >> you can see. this is about it as far as protestors here. i'd say less than 100. at this hour. probably more media than protestors at this point. police have -- >> we can see -- >> mike tobin? what's happening? >> tear gas is out. there are a couple pops came. that is a flash bang. a lot of flash bangs and a lot of smoke. smoke does have tear gas in it. wow. >> do you need a mask, mike? no. i don't. um, all right. a good bit...
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Aug 19, 2014
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ahead, steve. keep going. >> you can see. this is about it as far as protestors here. i'd say less than 100. at this hour. probably more media than protestors at this point. police have -- >> we can see -- >> mike tobin? what's happening? >> tear gas is out. there are a couple pops came. that is a flash bang. a lot of flash bangs and a lot of smoke. smoke does have tear gas in it. wow. >> do you need a mask, mike? no. i don't. um, all right. a good bit of tear gas went out. sounded like firecracker that's got everything started up here. i don't understand why they did that. people just standing around on the side of the street. why did they fire this? well, there are people who are in the middle of the street, shep. a lot of people in the middle of the street. they've been taunting the officers for some time. they'd blocked the street, barricaded it, if you will, with a bunch of different objects some road signs they pulled off the street. and you heard the order of the officer to mask up. i see th
ahead, steve. keep going. >> you can see. this is about it as far as protestors here. i'd say less than 100. at this hour. probably more media than protestors at this point. police have -- >> we can see -- >> mike tobin? what's happening? >> tear gas is out. there are a couple pops came. that is a flash bang. a lot of flash bangs and a lot of smoke. smoke does have tear gas in it. wow. >> do you need a mask, mike? no. i don't. um, all right. a good bit of tear gas...