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Oct 4, 2014
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not good. >> steve: not good. >> jimmy: tough guy. >> steve: exactly.ack. >> jimmy: next up from the patriots is vince wilfork. he was voted "most likely to be the love child of shaq and ceelo." [ laughter and applause ] that's a rare award. >> steve: yeah. very rare. >> jimmy: next up from the bengals is andrew witworth. he was voted "most likely to be the white version of vince wilfork." let's take a look at that one there. yeah, that makes sense. i can see that. [ cheers and applause ] and, finally, from the bengals we have vontaze burfict. he was voted "most likely to not leave his house until his hair is burfict." there you go those are your nfl superlatives. we have a great show. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. welcome, everybody. welcome. thank you for watching our show. it's been a great week so far, and don't forget, on monday set your tivo, set your dvr, set your rokus -- >> steve: your rokus, your fisher-price cameras. >> jimmy: to record our show because you're going to want to se
not good. >> steve: not good. >> jimmy: tough guy. >> steve: exactly.ack. >> jimmy: next up from the patriots is vince wilfork. he was voted "most likely to be the love child of shaq and ceelo." [ laughter and applause ] that's a rare award. >> steve: yeah. very rare. >> jimmy: next up from the bengals is andrew witworth. he was voted "most likely to be the white version of vince wilfork." let's take a look at that one there. yeah, that...
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Oct 9, 2014
10/14
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>> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's his job, right? >> steve: yeah, that's his job.h. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, well he's not there. there's no one there. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: there's like an intern. [ laughter ] >> steve: running the whole thing? >> jimmy: people are gunning in and out. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah. somebody is temporarily filling in for the surgeon general. i think whoever it is doesn't really know what they're doing because look at some of the warning labels they've released. first one's for cigarettes. it says, "warning, smoking cigarettes might make you look too cool." [ laughter ] >> steve: wow, that's awful. >> jimmy: do you see what i'm saying? >> steve: yeah, that's not good. >> jimmy: it just doesn't seem right to me. here's one for viagra. it says, "warning, do not consume before funerals." [ laughter ] >> steve: what? that's ridiculous. >> jimmy: i get it, but you shouldn't put that on there. >> steve: yeah, i think people would know that. >> jimmy: no i mean, here's one for redd's apple ale. it says warning, "you need to drin
>> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's his job, right? >> steve: yeah, that's his job.h. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, well he's not there. there's no one there. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: there's like an intern. [ laughter ] >> steve: running the whole thing? >> jimmy: people are gunning in and out. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah. somebody is temporarily filling in for the surgeon general. i think whoever it is doesn't really know what...
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Oct 18, 2014
10/14
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>> steve: come on!mmy: don't do that. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: i saw this video on the internet the other day, it made me laugh. last week someone decided to do a ukulele cover of a vance joy song. and it was pretty soothing. check it out. ♪ ♪ i was scared of pretty girls and --♪ you [ bleep ] ass [ bleep ] get off! [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ] damn, you cat! [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the cat was like -- then her dog was like, "well the cat wasn't wrong." [ laughter ] hey, come on. guys i guess this is a good thing, but whole foods is introducing a new system that will label its produce good, better and best. depending on the supplier's farming practices. good, means no pesticides, better means environmentally friendly. and best means still not worth five bucks for an apple. [ laughter and applause ] i'm sorry. i'm sorry. [ applause ] that's -- five bucks for an apple? >> steve: come on, five bucks? >> jimmy: we, we -- put the best we feed our trees the best
>> steve: come on!mmy: don't do that. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: i saw this video on the internet the other day, it made me laugh. last week someone decided to do a ukulele cover of a vance joy song. and it was pretty soothing. check it out. ♪ ♪ i was scared of pretty girls and --♪ you [ bleep ] ass [ bleep ] get off! [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ] damn, you cat! [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the cat was like -- then her dog was...
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Oct 25, 2014
10/14
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[ laughter ] >> steve: home, i guess? >> jimmy: arnold schwarzenegger? >> steve: yes!ving for uber? >> steve: because it's the best! it's uber! it's better than best! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i take you to the chopper then we leave in the chopper! [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: throw in that pack of sandwiches! >> jimmy: [ babbling ] the chopper! >> steve: chill out, man. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, little stick of celery that comes with chicken wings, for tricking myself into believing i'm eating pretty healthy. [ laughter ] celery, a side of carrot sticks and 30 deep fried wings. >> steve: covered in sugar. >> jimmy: yeah. ♪ thank you, pencil sharpeners, for always making a good point. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: it's a thinker. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, yoga, for improving your memory, thus helping me remember how much i hate doing yoga. [ laughter ] there you go, guys. those are my thank you notes. we'll be right back with claire danes! [ arnold schwarzenneger voice ] claire danes is going to be here! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when laquinta.com sends
[ laughter ] >> steve: home, i guess? >> jimmy: arnold schwarzenegger? >> steve: yes!ving for uber? >> steve: because it's the best! it's uber! it's better than best! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i take you to the chopper then we leave in the chopper! [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: throw in that pack of sandwiches! >> jimmy: [ babbling ] the chopper! >> steve: chill out, man. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, little stick of celery that...
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Oct 15, 2014
10/14
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>> steve: oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: higgins, i can see you putting -- >> steve: what? can see you putting water on your -- [ laughter ] >> steve: beautiful. >> jimmy: guys, it's time to look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for pros and cons. here go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of watching "the walking dead." >> steve: ooh. [ cheers ] giant hit. >> jimmy: the zombies are back, season five just kicked off to record ratings. oh, my gosh. let's take a look at the pros and cons of watching "the walking dead." pro, the show focuses on a a worldwide zombie pandemic. con, or as the cdc would call it, a handful of isolated cases. there you go. [ laughter ] nothing to worry about. >> steve: it's all perspective. >> jimmy: nothing to worry about. pro, zombies will stop at nothing to quench their insatiable desire for human flesh. con, it's like white people with the pumpkin spice latte. [ laughter and applause ] that's good stuff
>> steve: oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: higgins, i can see you putting -- >> steve: what? can see you putting water on your -- [ laughter ] >> steve: beautiful. >> jimmy: guys, it's time to look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for pros and cons. here go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of watching...
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Oct 10, 2014
10/14
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steve's coming on." going to -- " >> damn it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it felt a little bit like homework. a little bit. i was like, oh, because i don't have a child that is old enough to watch the movie. but i couldn't stop watching it. i laughed the whole way through. it was a fantastic movie. you really, i mean -- >> i will admit to you, i went with nancy, my wife. >> jimmy: not my wife nancy? >> no. [ laughter ] no. >> jimmy: okay, good. [ laughter ] again, this is after -- this is a smack stage. [ laughter ] did my wife enjoy the film? >> she did. no, i went and sort of with this -- not the same expectations, but you never know. you never know how something like this is gonna turn out. and we went, and it was funny. >> jimmy: i was laughing. i was crying. and i go -- you know, is it a a pg movie or is it -- >> yeah, i think it's pg. pg-r. something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, not -- there's no slash pg slash r. >> it was either -- >> jimmy: yeah, one or the other. >> one or the other. >> jimmy: no, it
steve's coming on." going to -- " >> damn it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it felt a little bit like homework. a little bit. i was like, oh, because i don't have a child that is old enough to watch the movie. but i couldn't stop watching it. i laughed the whole way through. it was a fantastic movie. you really, i mean -- >> i will admit to you, i went with nancy, my wife. >> jimmy: not my wife nancy? >> no. [ laughter ] no. >> jimmy: okay, good. [...
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Oct 28, 2014
10/14
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tom brokaw. >> steve: really?take a a listen. this here is tom brokaw singing lady gaga's "bad romance." ♪ rah-rah ooh-ma-ma gaga ooh-waa-waa i want your bad romance ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that just sounds -- it sounds good but it just -- [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: sounds great, a a little odd, a little different. >> jimmy: just a little different. >> steve: if it ain't brokaw, don't fix it. >> jimmy: yeah, thank you, man. [ rim shot ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: finally, at number 100 all the way at the bottom of the charts, here's the hokey-pokey by vladimir putin. >> steve: wow. [ laughter ] ♪ put left arm in put left arm out put left arm in and shake the bout ♪ ♪ do hokey-pokey turn around that is how you will die ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: there you have it. that is the bottom of the charts. stick around. we'll be right back with ewan mcgregor, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we want to know where our er thafood comes from.ed. we care what happens to it along the
tom brokaw. >> steve: really?take a a listen. this here is tom brokaw singing lady gaga's "bad romance." ♪ rah-rah ooh-ma-ma gaga ooh-waa-waa i want your bad romance ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that just sounds -- it sounds good but it just -- [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: sounds great, a a little odd, a little different. >> jimmy: just a little different. >> steve: if it ain't brokaw, don't fix it. >> jimmy: yeah, thank you, man....
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Oct 23, 2014
10/14
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>> steve: yeah!he's great. [ applause ] a butterfly softly landing on the flute player's nose is officially the most npr thing that's ever happened. send that lady a tote bag. [ applause ] >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: fanastic. oh, yeah. this is pretty cool, i heard that nasa is partnering with two private companies to build space taxis that will fly astronauts up to the international space station. yeah. they'll take a space taxi. which is also the movie i probably would have made if i never got this job. [ laughter and applause ] i would have done it. that sounds like a pretty good idea. >> steve: i noticed you couldn't get latifah. latifah wasn't on the phone. she wouldn't do it. >> jimmy: she wouldn't do the sequel, no. [ laughter ] and finally two mechanics have been arrested for using a a vatican car to smuggle marijuana. or as the pope put it, "man, this incense is great. look how big my hat is!" [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show, give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and appla
>> steve: yeah!he's great. [ applause ] a butterfly softly landing on the flute player's nose is officially the most npr thing that's ever happened. send that lady a tote bag. [ applause ] >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: fanastic. oh, yeah. this is pretty cool, i heard that nasa is partnering with two private companies to build space taxis that will fly astronauts up to the international space station. yeah. they'll take a space taxi. which is also the movie i probably would have...
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Oct 29, 2014
10/14
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>> steve: oh!y: all right. well -- >> steve: oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we'll check in with pat later on the story. thank you, pat, for that. >> steve: man in the street. >> jimmy: stray dogs. you've got to watch out for those things. [ laughter ] but hey, we're not the only ones who are worried about this thing. in fact, north korea announced last week they're closing their borders -- [ light laughter ] to all tourists to prevent the potential spread of the ebola virus. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: that's right. when they heard that, people in north korea were like -- [ coughing ] [ laughter ] "i have to leave i think? it's your rules. take care, man. i gotta go. i think i have --" [ applause ] leave north korea? hey, listen to this, you guys. starbucks says it's coming out with a new chestnut praline latte next month. [ cheers ] that's right. chestnut praline latte. sounds less like a drink, more like a stripper giving her full name. [ laughter ] >> steve: can you state your name for the cou
>> steve: oh!y: all right. well -- >> steve: oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we'll check in with pat later on the story. thank you, pat, for that. >> steve: man in the street. >> jimmy: stray dogs. you've got to watch out for those things. [ laughter ] but hey, we're not the only ones who are worried about this thing. in fact, north korea announced last week they're closing their borders -- [ light laughter ] to all tourists to prevent the potential spread of...
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Oct 8, 2014
10/14
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>> steve: ew!ill.i.am, plays a character called named mir.i.am, who is a 15-year-old girl. >> steve: yeah. full beard. >> jimmy: he has headgear and a a backpack and full beard, of course. [ laughter ] anyways right now, today it's the number two trending song on billboard. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ actually, to be honest, i have no idea what that means. [ laughter ] >> steve: it's trending. >> jimmy: it's trending on billboard. >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> steve: i don't know. >> jimmy: okay, good. [ laughter ] then we found out that it's currently number 43 on itunes. [ cheers and applause ] it's our song. it's our ridiculous song that was just a fun, funny song that we just figured that we'd put out and it'd be fun. all the radio stations are playing it today. it was really fascinating to watch. people were like, "dude, they're playing it in wisconsin, they're playing it in st. louis, i'm in florida." someone was like -- "flurgen blurgen glurgen 'ew.'" [ laughter ] >> steve:
>> steve: ew!ill.i.am, plays a character called named mir.i.am, who is a 15-year-old girl. >> steve: yeah. full beard. >> jimmy: he has headgear and a a backpack and full beard, of course. [ laughter ] anyways right now, today it's the number two trending song on billboard. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ actually, to be honest, i have no idea what that means. [ laughter ] >> steve: it's trending. >> jimmy: it's trending on billboard. >> steve: yes. >>...
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Oct 17, 2014
10/14
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>> steve: yeah.aughter ] >> jimmy: that's not -- you know what i mean. then there was "operation cold shoulder." just give 'em the cold -- [ laughter ] just ignore them. just ignore them. you know? >> steve: yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: and then finally, we have "operation we can't even." >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and finally, "operation isis isis, baby." that one at least -- [ cheers and applause ] and get this, a dutch -- wait, all right, stop. no, seriously, stop. [ laughter ] get this, a dutch motorcycle gang called "no surrender" has declared war on isis and they plan to ride motorcycles through syria and iraq. when they heard the name "no surrender" the pentagon was like, "damn that would have been the perfect name wouldn't it?" [ laughter and applause ] "no surrender" is cool, it's edgy, it's -- [ laughter ] of course, this whole ebola scare still has everyone on edge. and yesterday, the cdc tried to calm people down by saying that you cannot get ebola by sitting next to someone on public
>> steve: yeah.aughter ] >> jimmy: that's not -- you know what i mean. then there was "operation cold shoulder." just give 'em the cold -- [ laughter ] just ignore them. just ignore them. you know? >> steve: yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: and then finally, we have "operation we can't even." >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and finally, "operation isis isis, baby." that one at least -- [ cheers and applause ] and get this, a dutch --...
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Oct 2, 2014
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wow. >> jimmy: least popular. >> steve: least popular. >> jimmy: no one is going to do it. >> steve:ne person? >> jimmy: maybe, but it is very rare. this is kind of a sweet, a dog that ran away from home in philadelphia six months ago was found in oregon this week. and he was just reunited with his family. take a look at this special, special moment. >> hey! >> skippy! come here! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you know the moment when the dog was like, "you got to be kidding me, man!" we have a great show, give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: yeah! sounding good, guys. [ applause ] it's been a really fun week here and there's more ahead. tomorrow night, i cannot wait for this. a lot of people buzzing about tomorrow night. he just wrapped up one of the greatest careers in baseball history, from the new york yankees, the captain himself, derek jeter will be here tomorrow night. >> steve: yeah! come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: love that guy. plus james marsden, and music from five seconds of summer. >> steve: whoa! >> jimmy: tomorrow ni
wow. >> jimmy: least popular. >> steve: least popular. >> jimmy: no one is going to do it. >> steve:ne person? >> jimmy: maybe, but it is very rare. this is kind of a sweet, a dog that ran away from home in philadelphia six months ago was found in oregon this week. and he was just reunited with his family. take a look at this special, special moment. >> hey! >> skippy! come here! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you know the moment when the dog...
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Oct 11, 2014
10/14
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>> steve: jk rowling! >> jimmy: jk! >> steve: jk!ou, the eiffel tower for installing a new clear glass floor that people can stand on. or as the people on the floor below put it, "i see london, i see france." [ laughter and applause ] oh boy. >> steve: oh, boy. hey! autumn's in early. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, slugerrr, the kansas city royals mascot for looking like a lion had sex with bart simpson. [ laughter and applause ] very interesting. >> steve: cowabunga. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, horse yoga, or as the horses call it, "what the freaking hell, man?" [ cheers and applause ] what the heck happened? >> steve: what's going on? >> jimmy: you wouldn't believe what happened to me today. >> steve: that's dangerous. >> jimmy: you wouldn't even believe what happened to me today. let's just say hey -- >> steve: hey. >> jimmy: neigh means neigh. [ laughter ] >> steve: that was a great call. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, this photo of joe biden, for looking like the poster for a straight to dvd movie called "vice president 2: bad to the co
>> steve: jk rowling! >> jimmy: jk! >> steve: jk!ou, the eiffel tower for installing a new clear glass floor that people can stand on. or as the people on the floor below put it, "i see london, i see france." [ laughter and applause ] oh boy. >> steve: oh, boy. hey! autumn's in early. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, slugerrr, the kansas city royals mascot for looking like a lion had sex with bart simpson. [ laughter and applause ] very interesting....
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Oct 7, 2014
10/14
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>> steve: what?jimmy: "you can't make a a margarita without squeezing a a few cactuses." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's some sports news. on saturday the san francisco giants beat the nationals in washington after 18 innings. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: 18 innings. the longest postseason game in baseball history. yeah, proving that even in sports, it takes forever to get something done in washington. [ laughter and applause ] really, even in sports. "it's the 18th inning." [ applause ] the giants beat the nationals after an 18-inning game that lasted more than six hours. you can tell the game was long because the beer man actually started sell coffee. he was like "get your dark roast here!" [ laughter ] everyone's talking about the number one movie this weekend, "gone girl" which made $38 million dollars. "gone girl." [ applause ] "gone girl." it's about a wife whose husband tried to make her sit through an 18-inning baseball game. "i'm out of here. that's it this is --." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this just
>> steve: what?jimmy: "you can't make a a margarita without squeezing a a few cactuses." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's some sports news. on saturday the san francisco giants beat the nationals in washington after 18 innings. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: 18 innings. the longest postseason game in baseball history. yeah, proving that even in sports, it takes forever to get something done in washington. [ laughter and applause ] really, even in sports. "it's the...
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Oct 21, 2014
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>> steve: come on!mmy: speaking of music, you guys, it's monday, that means it's time to count down the hottest songs at the top of the charts right now. here we go -- at number 3, we've got "anaconda" by nicki minaj. a little racy but it's catchy. [ light laughter ] number 2, "all about that bass" by meghan trainor. she's been on the show, she's fantastic. it's a good song. and holding steady at number 1, it's "shake it off" by taylor swift. [ cheers ] we love swifty. those are the top three songs. now it's time to take a look at the songs at the bottom of the charts. at number 98, it's the "chariots of fire theme" performed by the philadelphia gulp symphony. [ laughter ] i never heard of those guys before. tgs, i've never heard of the gulp symphony before. we have a clip. can we hear? ♪ sounds pretty good. ♪ [ gulping noises ] i realize i've heard this now. ♪ [ burp ] hey, stop, stop, stop. [ laughter ] number 99, we've got a song called "all about that bass" by a middle-aged fisherman. how does that
>> steve: come on!mmy: speaking of music, you guys, it's monday, that means it's time to count down the hottest songs at the top of the charts right now. here we go -- at number 3, we've got "anaconda" by nicki minaj. a little racy but it's catchy. [ light laughter ] number 2, "all about that bass" by meghan trainor. she's been on the show, she's fantastic. it's a good song. and holding steady at number 1, it's "shake it off" by taylor swift. [ cheers ] we...
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Oct 22, 2014
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>> steve: you can. >> jimmy: the whole building is buzzing. >> steve: is tingling. >> jimmy: yeah, it tonight is a historic night for us and for "the tonight show." making her first late night talk appearance in over 50 years. >> steve: 50. [ cheers and applause ] we're honored, but one of the few people in history to win the emmy, tony, the oscar, the grammy and the golden globe awards, barbra streisand is in the house. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: whoa! >> jimmy: this is her new cd right here. it's the new album, it's awesome. it's unbelievable. just hearing her rehearse, oh, my gosh, it's unbelievable. everyone's just like -- everyone was just like mouth open like -- [ light laughter ] it's barbara -- and her voice, it just -- it sounds like she doesn't need a a microphone. it's just -- i can't wait to talk to her and just ask her how she does it. unbelievable. she's amazing. so she'll sing for us, she'll come out and talk and we'll have fun. maybe we'll do a little -- [ cheers and applause ] guys, you ever go online or watch tv and see some weird, random thing on your scree
>> steve: you can. >> jimmy: the whole building is buzzing. >> steve: is tingling. >> jimmy: yeah, it tonight is a historic night for us and for "the tonight show." making her first late night talk appearance in over 50 years. >> steve: 50. [ cheers and applause ] we're honored, but one of the few people in history to win the emmy, tony, the oscar, the grammy and the golden globe awards, barbra streisand is in the house. [ cheers and applause ] ♪...
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Oct 31, 2014
10/14
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>> steve: every single day i google it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good for you, man. >> steve: hey, google >> jimmy: good-n-plenty is the most googled candy in new york. but what's more interesting is which candies are the least googled. here are the least popular candies. there's baby ruth bader ginsberg. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey, don't judge. don't judge. >> jimmy: don't judge, yeah i know. [ laughter ] next we have depressed ranchers. i mean, they're not as good as jolly ranchers. >> steve: no. nowhere near as good. >> jimmy: no. also this least candy, lukewarm fish tacos in a bag. [ laughter ] i mean, that's not even -- not even really candy, really. [ laughter ] but either way, no one's googling it. >> steve: don't judge. >> jimmy: no one's googling it. and finally, the least googled, york peppermint pate. [ laughter and applause ] which is just -- it's just not googled. not one person is even binging it. [ applause ] >> steve: those weren't even candies. >> jimmy: of course, a lot of people are dressing up for halloween, and not only that, a a lot of people are dressing up their pe
>> steve: every single day i google it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good for you, man. >> steve: hey, google >> jimmy: good-n-plenty is the most googled candy in new york. but what's more interesting is which candies are the least googled. here are the least popular candies. there's baby ruth bader ginsberg. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey, don't judge. don't judge. >> jimmy: don't judge, yeah i know. [ laughter ] next we have depressed ranchers. i mean, they're not as...
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Oct 1, 2014
10/14
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[ laughter ] >> steve: my bad!our first day of modeling for a college art class. con, the focus is, "moobs: a a study of the male breast." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] moobs? >> steve: moobs. >> jimmy: and finally, pro, you model in the nude so often that the class gives you a cool hip-hop inspired nickname. con, lil' wang. [ laughter and applause ] there you go, that's the pros and cons. we'll be right back with tyler perry, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ my advice for healthy looking radiant skin. a good night's sleep... and aveeno®. [ female announcer ] only aveeno® positively radiant has an active naturals® total soy formula. it helps reduce the look of brown spots in just four weeks. aveeno®. naturally beautiful results™. aveeno®. it's part of a hershey's bar. we break it. we bite it. we sneak it. we smoosh it. we savor it. we love it. hershey's is mine, yours, our chocolate. and this is the iphone 6 plus. they come with a thing called health, so they can help you track a lot of stuff. like today
[ laughter ] >> steve: my bad!our first day of modeling for a college art class. con, the focus is, "moobs: a a study of the male breast." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] moobs? >> steve: moobs. >> jimmy: and finally, pro, you model in the nude so often that the class gives you a cool hip-hop inspired nickname. con, lil' wang. [ laughter and applause ] there you go, that's the pros and cons. we'll be right back with tyler perry, everybody! [ cheers and applause...
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Oct 7, 2014
10/14
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KNTV
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please. >> where's steve? where's steve? where is he?oh, yes. >> jimmy: come on. the roots played your theme. >> the roots. thank you so much. >> jimmy: we're just psyched to have you here. we're so psyched, because i know you're west coast a lot, you're l.a. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: but now you're here. >> yes i'm here. i love it. i watch you all the time. >> jimmy: i got a great note from you, and i'll never forget it. i want to get it framed, but i didn't want to say that in front of you. [ laughter ] >> what i said was, "you are permanently terrific." >> jimmy: yeah. i love that so much. no one has ever said that. thank you so much. please, coming from you, i mean -- you can't tell but when you walk by people and you're you, you're probably used to it. but people behind you are going, [ whispering ] "oh my god. that's carol burnett." [ laughter ] and people love you so much. they freak out. >> i'm just glad i didn't get mugged. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. it's a tough city. it's a tough city. we have your book. i have your book, i rea
please. >> where's steve? where's steve? where is he?oh, yes. >> jimmy: come on. the roots played your theme. >> the roots. thank you so much. >> jimmy: we're just psyched to have you here. we're so psyched, because i know you're west coast a lot, you're l.a. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: but now you're here. >> yes i'm here. i love it. i watch you all the time. >> jimmy: i got a great note from you, and i'll never forget it. i want to get it framed,...
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Oct 30, 2014
10/14
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WCAU
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>> steve: moon rock?r ] >> jimmy: i saw this at the library of congress is inviting americans to share their halloween photos. so that it can select a few to be added to the national archives. yeah it's great. a one-day future generation can look back and say, so everyone was a slut back then? that's very interesting. [ laughter ] slutty nurse, slutty -- barista. this is exciting the nba season starts this week. [ cheers and applause ] this is good news. of course, one of the biggest stories is lebron james returning to play for the cleveland cavaliers. in fact the coaching staff was so excited to have him back they introduced a ton of new plays. yeah, show you what i mean in tonight's edition of "inside the playbook" lebron james edition. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ inside the playbook lebron james edition ♪ >> jimmy: let's look at some of the new cav plays, first, there's the pretend to do a a jump shot near lebron, so it looks like you helped. [ laughter ] then there's the stand on the court just so ther
>> steve: moon rock?r ] >> jimmy: i saw this at the library of congress is inviting americans to share their halloween photos. so that it can select a few to be added to the national archives. yeah it's great. a one-day future generation can look back and say, so everyone was a slut back then? that's very interesting. [ laughter ] slutty nurse, slutty -- barista. this is exciting the nba season starts this week. [ cheers and applause ] this is good news. of course, one of the...
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Oct 14, 2014
10/14
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KNTV
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>> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh -- beautiful crowd! beautiful new york city crowd. welcome, welcome! welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. thank you for being here. [ cheers ] oh, feels good. good to see you. we got a fun show tonight. but first what everyone's talking about. president obama was in california over the weekend to attend a fund-raiser hosted by the creator of farmville. [ laughter ] that's right. obama and the creator of farmville have a lot in common because they both really wish it was still 2009. it was a great year for both. [ applause ] i also saw that president obama played his 200th round of golf yesterday. democrats are like, "you know what? he can do whatever he wants as long as he's not trying to campaign for us." i mean that's just -- [ laughter ] did you see this? first lady michelle obama went to iowa this week to campaign for senate candidate bruce braley. okay, he's actually been criticized for being too close to the obamas. although i don't
>> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh -- beautiful crowd! beautiful new york city crowd. welcome, welcome! welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. thank you for being here. [ cheers ] oh, feels good. good to see you. we got a fun show tonight. but first what everyone's talking about. president obama was in california over the weekend to attend a fund-raiser hosted by the creator of farmville. [ laughter ] that's right....
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Oct 24, 2014
10/14
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KNTV
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i'm happy with 99. >> steve: 99 is all we need. >> jimmy: call elvis duran, ryan seacrest. >> steve:freed. >> jimmy: allen freed. call rick dees. >> steve: get it out there. >> jimmy: cousin brucie. got to get it out there, that would be fun. so that's monday night but first, you guys we have a big show tonight -- i'm just so happy he's here, i know. this the guy is best, he's my favorite baseball player of all time, he's lot of people's favorite baseball players of all time. [ cheers and applause ] one of the all time yankee greats, derek jeter is stopping by. there he is. [ cheers and applause ] i love that guy so much. >> steve: he's the man! >> jimmy: he's going to be fun.. it's going to be good. [ laughter ] also from the new movie "the best of me," james marsden is dropping in. [ applause ] from the new nicholas sparks. >> steve: nicholas sparks >> jimmy: new nicholas sparks movie, big romantic movie and then we have music from these young kids, i don't know if you guys know who i'm talking about, five seconds of summer are here. [ cheers and applause ] yeah! they are really co
i'm happy with 99. >> steve: 99 is all we need. >> jimmy: call elvis duran, ryan seacrest. >> steve:freed. >> jimmy: allen freed. call rick dees. >> steve: get it out there. >> jimmy: cousin brucie. got to get it out there, that would be fun. so that's monday night but first, you guys we have a big show tonight -- i'm just so happy he's here, i know. this the guy is best, he's my favorite baseball player of all time, he's lot of people's favorite baseball...
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Oct 16, 2014
10/14
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WCAU
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[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: lenny!here's no one here is his new album "the prescription" which he recorded with the umo jazz orchestra. thank you so much for being here, man. i'm honored, i love you. >> i'm honored. >> jimmy: you're the best. >> thank you, man. >> jimmy: lenny pickett in the house. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: gosh, the greatest. you guys, before we get started, we got some big news, last week, we made a music video with will.i.am called "ew." [ cheers and applause ] right? and we asked you guys to help us get it played on radio stations across the country. to maybe just, just maybe break into the billboard hot 100. [ cheers and applause ] i said i'd be happy if we made it to 99, even. that's great. guess what -- even the 80s, billboard called us, personally. so either it's good news or the guy just wanted to hear me depressed. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: so, he called me. i go, what we like, are we in the 80s? he goes, good news. i go, oh my gosh, what is it? "ew" is the number 26 song! >> steve: yeah!
[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: lenny!here's no one here is his new album "the prescription" which he recorded with the umo jazz orchestra. thank you so much for being here, man. i'm honored, i love you. >> i'm honored. >> jimmy: you're the best. >> thank you, man. >> jimmy: lenny pickett in the house. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: gosh, the greatest. you guys, before we get started, we got some big news, last week, we made a music video with...
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Oct 14, 2014
10/14
by
COM
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steve jobs took them from i.b.m.ook them from mcintosh. >> stephen: and i hear a lot of his book was written on wikipedia. >> that's the greatest thing about copy and paste! >> stephen: walter isaacson, "the innovators"! we'll be right back! we'll be right back! ex ye- yes! we have the new iphone. how- cause everyone's coming in for the new iphone. wh-what... kind of service plan can you get? well right now if you select the 15 gig plan we'll double your data and make it 30 gigs for the same price. kind owell that-plan can you get? well right now if you select the great! you'll take it. in head *re you inside my nd right now? great! nopell take it. where was... albuquerque who was the porcupine what is my fave- llandaise sauce no way...y fave- e new iphone is here and now you get 30 gigs of data to share starting at $160 doars a month. ♪ rock and roll music ♪ ♪ >> stephen: that's it for "the report," everybody! good night! (cheers and applause) ♪ (cheers and applause) >> it's 11:59, and 59 seconds this happened on yo
steve jobs took them from i.b.m.ook them from mcintosh. >> stephen: and i hear a lot of his book was written on wikipedia. >> that's the greatest thing about copy and paste! >> stephen: walter isaacson, "the innovators"! we'll be right back! we'll be right back! ex ye- yes! we have the new iphone. how- cause everyone's coming in for the new iphone. wh-what... kind of service plan can you get? well right now if you select the 15 gig plan we'll double your data and...
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Oct 18, 2014
10/14
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BLOOMBERG
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then you went to apple and worked under steve jobs. what was the most important thing you learn from him? >> passion. steve jobs is one of the most passionate people i ever met. i still remember in 1984, i was programming assembly language, the language at the core of the microprocessor, down at apple headquarters. we were writing the first software for the macintosh. steve jobs came storming down the halls, motivating the developers. his energy was infectious. everybody wanted to work as hard as they could because he was there and he was working so hard. i learned that, i learned that you have to be all in. that is something i try to bring to salesforce. >> how confident are you in the future of apple under tim cook? >> i think he is doing a great job. we have seen great products this month with the new iphone. i have a 6 plus. apple is a great company, the greatest story in american business. look, steve was the greatest of the greatest, we all know that. being the follow-on will be tough. >> steve jobs and larry ellison were persona
then you went to apple and worked under steve jobs. what was the most important thing you learn from him? >> passion. steve jobs is one of the most passionate people i ever met. i still remember in 1984, i was programming assembly language, the language at the core of the microprocessor, down at apple headquarters. we were writing the first software for the macintosh. steve jobs came storming down the halls, motivating the developers. his energy was infectious. everybody wanted to work as...
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Oct 14, 2014
10/14
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COM
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steve jobs took them from i.b.m.intosh. >> stephen: and i hear a lot of his book was written on wikipedia. >> that's the greatest thing about copy and paste! >> stephen: walter isaacson, "the innovators"! we'll be right back! ex go ahead and put your bag right here. have a nice flight! traveling can feel like one big mystery. you're never quite sure what is coming your way. but when you've got an entire company who knows that the most on-time flights are nothing if we can't get your things there too. it's no wonder more people choose delta than any other airline. what does an apron have to do with car insurance? every time you tie on an apron, you make progress. and we like that. because progress is what we make, too. first of all, they're light and fluffy, topped with pumpkin whipped cream and cinnamon sugar and only $4.99. second of all, they're light and fluffy, topped with pumpkin whipped cream and cinnamon sugar and only $4.99. [bell rings] waitress: welcome to denny's! [bell rings] waitress: welcome to denny's!
steve jobs took them from i.b.m.intosh. >> stephen: and i hear a lot of his book was written on wikipedia. >> that's the greatest thing about copy and paste! >> stephen: walter isaacson, "the innovators"! we'll be right back! ex go ahead and put your bag right here. have a nice flight! traveling can feel like one big mystery. you're never quite sure what is coming your way. but when you've got an entire company who knows that the most on-time flights are nothing if...
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Oct 8, 2014
10/14
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CNBC
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i'm steve phelps with nascar. >> hi, steve. peter. >> hey, steve. koehl, skullduggery. >> hey, steve, how are you? welcome to our new york office. you know, marcus had asked me to take the meeting. this is a little bit unusual for us, but wanted to take the meeting to understand what it is about your company that you believe will help the nascar brand. >> let me go first. steve, why do you think nascar's good for skullduggery? [laughing] >> so, you know, we are in a really good spot at this particular point. the sport's growing. we're really trying to attract a much younger audience, a more diverse audience. you know, we're finding partners to invest with us in s.t.e.m. >> i'm sorry, ste--stem? >> s.t.e.m. science, technology, engineering, math. >> okay, okay. >> nascar is a technology-driven enterprise, and i think it's awesome that they want to attract kids through education. >> and so the question is, do you have something that you could focus on that? 'cause that's an important area for us. >> um, i'm havin'--you know, i had some meetings with--
i'm steve phelps with nascar. >> hi, steve. peter. >> hey, steve. koehl, skullduggery. >> hey, steve, how are you? welcome to our new york office. you know, marcus had asked me to take the meeting. this is a little bit unusual for us, but wanted to take the meeting to understand what it is about your company that you believe will help the nascar brand. >> let me go first. steve, why do you think nascar's good for skullduggery? [laughing] >> so, you know, we are in...