. >> steve colbert is a fake pundit on tv. >> tk fake newsman stephen colbert. >> he is a genuine fake newsman. >> colbert, a fake news guy. >> stephen: i may be a fake news guy, but i am not the only one wolf blitzer. or should i say coyote blitzman? but i admit it, stephen colbert does not exist. i grew up steve colbert and i changed my name for the same reason most people do, because i ratted out the gambino crime family. >> nobody tell them where i am. well, folk os, i'm sorry to say this story of make believe courage does not have a happy ending because all the so-called fake candidates were defeated on tuesday. so my condolences to fake democrat jim buckley, tamara verbrook, isaac weeks and perhaps the fakest sounding democrat, otto junkerman. who it turns out is a real person despite his ridiculous name. stay strong, o junk. these made up candidates may have lost, folks, but i believe we will see a day when a fake candidate can be elected to public office, in the immortal words of the reverend marvin bluther king, i don't have a dream, i am a dream. we'll be right back. (cheers

jennifer hudson, steve harvey, stephen colbert, and ellen. you guys have my vote. >> oh, no. [laughter] was there auestion, they liked thee most? was there a particular dance you liked the most? >> it was unbelievable. what about you? >>. love the tangos donald driver, del. i love to see him in the packers color >>s. thank you so much. we want to get right back up to hollywood. -- to hollywood. >> hello. here we are in the middle of all excitement after the family. everyone was just allow in, meaning the media. you can see, they are lining up. the celebrities have not come stage set to start doing interviews. happens at the "dancing with the stars." is pandemonium. everyone is so excited. had such an impressive system. what a family. clincher --as the what a family. -- finale. last night was the clincher. we were here last night. the energy here was contagious. everybody was on their feet startede even performing, realizing that wasthing spectacular getting ready to happen. i also have to say something his partner. this has been a cinderella season for her. only her second se

steve: oh, my god. this is a melee. colbert has the ball! he's kicking it in the -- bigger ball. oh!l but a goal the same. good luck. get on your knees. >> i'm good, i'm good. >> steve: there you go. all right, back in position. back in position. balls against the wall. [ talking over each other ] oh, that's mine. >> you know, i talked to jamie dimon actually about that big thing at j.p. morgan. >> should be a good show. >> steve: there you go. [ whistle blows ] go! oh! [ cheers and applause ] lester holt! i got it, david. that's good. >> jimmy: balls to the wall. >> steve: you guys ready? balls to the wall. get in position. clean game. [ whistle blows ] whoa, get it away from me. oh, holt blocked it. gregory's got it. oh, out of bounds. >> get him, david! >> steve: back in bounds! [ whistle blows ] [ cheers and applause ] >> whoo! >> jimmy: he's blocking the goal with his bubble! referee! >> call defense. [ whistle blows ] >> jimmy: lester holt! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: one minute. one minute warning. balls to the wall, gentlemen. hey, whoa! ♪ [ whistle blows ] last minute.

come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: coming up next week, cameron diaz, howard stern, will ferrell, stephen colbert is called southern hospitality. well, i call it the clean getaway. [ scoffs ] you're both wrong. it's the freshy fresh. everyone knows that. i didn't know that. oh yeah, that's what they're saying now. [ female announcer ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine. try them together. then name it on facebook. netflix? it's this cool service that lets you watch unlimited movies and tv episodes instantly over the internet. yeah, we can watch netflix on our pc or on our tv. and netflix is only eight bucks a month! [ male announcer ] tough on sweat. ♪ not on skin. get powerful 48 hour sweat protection plus 1/4 moisturizer technology. only with dove men + care deodorant. plus 1/4 moisturizer technology. yeah! six teams we should automatically win. we're the trouble makers. follow us on twitter. let's do this! compete in six cities. fighter pilot for a day? oh my god. if you helfavorip teyon help the blue team. yeah! right! here we go! ok come on. (chee