. >>> finally, i was lucky enough to attend a dinner in new york city last night headlined by steve colbert>> i am proud to be america's most famous catholic. i'm sure the cardinal is thinking, stephen, pride is a sin. so is envy, so we're even. >> the most famous catholic. interesting. i never heard that one before. this is "hardball," the place for politics. on, you may be muddling through allergies. try zyrtec-d®. powerful relief of nasal congestion and other allergy symptoms -- all in one pill. zyrtec-d®. at the pharmacy counter. ♪ because an empty pan is a blank canvas. ♪ [ woman #2 ] to share a moment. ♪ [ man #1 ] to remember my grandmother. [ woman #3 ] to show my love. ♪ [ woman #4 ] because life needs flavor. ♪ [ woman #5 ] to travel the world without leaving home. [ male announcer ] whatever the reason. whatever the dish. make it delicious with swanson. [ woman #1 ] that's why i cook. more than 50 times a day? so brighten your smile a healthy way with listerine® whitening plus restoring rinse. it's the only rinse that makes your teeth two shades whiter and two times stronger. ♪ l

. >>> finally, i was lucky enough to attend a dinner in new york city last night headlined by steve colbert>> i am proud to be america's most famous catholic. i'm sure the cardinal is thinking, stephen, pride is a sin. so is envy, so we're even. >> the most famous catholic. interesting. i never heard that one before. this is "hardball," the place for politics. e gulf, bp had two: help the gulf recover and learn from what happened so we could be a better, safer energy company. i can tell you - safety is at the heart of everything we do. we've added cutting-edge technology, like a new deepwater well cap and a state-of-the-art monitoring center, where experts watch over all drilling activity twenty-four-seven. and we're sharing what we've learned, so we can all produce energy more safely. our commitment has never been stronger. wears off. [ female announcer ] stop searching and start repairing. eucerin professional repair moisturizes while actually repairing very dry skin. the end of trial and error has arrived. try a free sample at eucerinus.com. to find you a great deal, even if it's not wit

letters were also sent to comedians, john stewart and steve colbert. carlson will be sentenced february 4th. back to you, vic? >> carlson faces up to five years in prison and a $250,000 fine. >>> another computer glitch crashes the obama care website overnight. it was only partially resolved, as health secretary kathleen sebelius is grilled about healthcare.gov. derek valcourt has more on how the site is updating marylanders. but first, danielle nottingham reports on the face-off between sebelius and frustrated people. >> health and human services secretary kathleen sebelius says they are working 24/7 to get health care.gov working properly. >> you deserve better. i apologize. >> she blamed the problems with a problem with the verizon server but said she is ultimately responsible. >> i am as frustrated and angry as anyone. >> reporter: cbs obtained this memo from september 27th. it discusses incomplete security testing on the website, but still recommends an october 1st launch. >> you have exposed millions of americans because you all, according to you

colbert report. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. thank you very much. thank you. folks, thank you so much. >> self-en, stephen, steve ebb! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) folks, thank you so much. thank you for joining us. folks, if you know me an i hope you do, if you watch this show, you know i will do anything in my power to support our military short of enlisting. (laughter) frankly, folks, i cannot even look at our so-called commander in chief. jimmy, can i get a picture of him please. thank you. (laughter) he is always weakening our military preparedness and unity cohesion. first he gets rid of don't ask don't tell. suddenly an officer and a gentleman sounds like date night. and now, now this. >> the department of defence is thinking about spending millions and millions of your dollars to buy our marines new hats or as they call them covers. and here's the problem. apparently not many want to wear them. some people think the new hat looks far too girlly. >> looks to me like the fem anyization of the marine corps. >> stephen: clearly the fem

stephen colbert's epic 'get lucky' dance party with jeff bridges, matt damon, and jilly fallon." [ laughter and applause ] sounds like a cool guy. i don't know who he is. sounds cool. >> stevey: this one's from sam porteus in shanghai, china. they watch the show in china. yeah, that's cool right? he sent a screen grab from an old vampire movie from the '70s called "twins of evil." that's the name of the movie. i never heard of it. but he says there is a guy in it that looks like me. i don't know. take a look at it. [ laughter and applause ] quest, you of all people! we actually have a clip of the movie. i don't think he looks like me. >> you are arrogant, count countstein. because you have the protection of the cult. [ laughter ] but, there is a higher authority. >> don't let them bother you. some men like a musical evening. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, who is that dude? is he your twin? is that why it's called that? >> jimmy: some good looking dude. [ laughter ] >> steve: two sets of twins. >> jimmy: this one here is from megan jerram in las vegas. it's another google auto-fill. it asked -- she says, "why can't i -- this is what google suggests. "why cant i own

stephen colbert on thursday making light of the electoral blow the republicans could suffer after ted cruz crusade to defund obama care. joining us from memphis, we have democratic congressman steve cohen. i'd start with that the polling is clear at least for now the long haul polling will change, maybe we will have forgotten this from now. right now the polling seems clear the damage that has been done for the republican party. when you look ahead to the immediate future, these next two months on the calendar, do you think things will play out differently in the next round of negotiation, when it comes to funding the government and the debt ceiling, do you think the government will have a different posture this time? >> you'd think they would, if their child puts their finger on a burner, they're not lickly to go to that burner again, i'm not sure if some of these people don't leak the heat. they revelled in it. they got a lot of energy out of it. i read where representative flemming and i read where senator cruz and some others want to do it again. i think that the more seasoned people, miguel rogers, doc hastings and jimmy rodgers will assert themselves more and they've seen t