steve colbert is coming for you. don't you think politicians of all stripes have to be a little nervous about colbert? >> that's the point i'm getting at here, brian, is good contenders are equal opportunity offenders. jon stewart was friends with colbert, right, they were roommates, yet that didn't stop him from making jokes that were funny. >> come on, you watch the show. he goes after republicans. so does fallon, so does kimmel. >> when they do something funny. so you're saying comedians never made fun of bill clinton. they're still making jokes about him 20 years later about his sex life, 20 years after. i just think there is a little bit of paranoia here among conservetors that they only make jokes about conservetors. >> now we have a bunch of comedians that that's what they're trying to do. for you to act like this is some sort of conspiracy is very unfair. >> we're not the funny police, but i think we should come back in a year and talk about how he's doing once he takes over the late show and we'll see how he'

exhausted. >> steve: colbert wouldn't hire me. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: no problem.s an incredible story here. some fisherman in eastern europe recently discovered a a message in a bottle that was written 101 years ago. even weirder, the message just said "ye up?" [ laughter ] it's a booty call from -- oh, you liked it, come on. it's fun. [ southern accent ] >> steve: "ye up?" that's not how they talked a a hundred years ago! they dropped the ye and the v almost 300 years ago!" >> jimmy: except for ye olde fudge shoppe. with three p's and an e at the end. >> steve: milk, milk lemonade. >> jimmy: around the corner fudge is made. [ laughter ] and finally, a woman from england was just in the news for having her 12-year-old dachshund cloned. the new dachshund is said to be perfectly healthy while the old one was like, "what the hell, linda?" [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show, give it up for the roots right there everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! that is earth, wind and fire vocalist philip bailey sitting in wit

but according to steve colbert, that shouldn't necessarily matter. >> the exact poll found the less americansnow about ukraine's location, the more they want the u.s. to intervene. damn straight, this is america, and we don't need to know where a country is to send troops there. the ukraine is wherever the american people say it is, and according to this poll, americans say it is everywhere. you cannot trust maps. they are always changing their story. one day it's pan gee ya, 300 million years later, it's something else, come on! make up your mind. is alaska up here, or is it tucked under arizona next to hawaii? >>> finally, jim demint is rewriting history today with an interview with the christian radio talk show vocal point, the president of the heritage foundation actually claimed that the federal government claimed no part in freeing the slaves. instead, he said it was the conscience of the american people. this one's a doozy. >> the reason that the slaves were eventually freed was the constitution. i mean, it was like the conscience of the american people, but the constitution kept calli

steve colbert will be the next host of "the late show" as david letterman -- >> we get preempted by colbert? come on, scott. >> morgan brennan has more on this breaking news, and maybe -- maybe not that big of a surprise given some of the chatter, morgan, of this last week. >> that's right. we have been hearing his name tossed around. he will be taking over for "the late show" cbs just confirming this with us now. starting next year when david letterman retires. here's what we know so far. this will be a five-year contract. location, producers, creative content, expected to be announced later this year. back to you, scott. >> okay, morgan, thank you so much. that's some interesting development there. we'll continue >>> what do you make of what we're watching develop not only today but over the last couple of weeks? >> well, we think this is formation, what has largely been the creationative three or four-year equity bubble. you know, equity bubbles are different than credit bubbles. credit bubble in china, stocks look cheap but there are leverage and structural problems. in the u.s., we thi

now colbert let stewart know he's resigning. >> he's a king maker with steve carr rel, and stephen colberthe has made some of the biggest stars in comedy. how he's handling the big move 37. >> this is going to come as a shock to you. >> you're ending your show. >> jon, please, i'm ending my show. don't beg me to stay. >> all right. >> you see, there is no mountain left to climb. it's clear to me that i've won television. at this point -- [ applause ] jon, jon, at this point i'm just running up the score. >> it's obviously -- it's not really a contest. >> not anymore, jon. because you see, jon, almost nine years ago i promised to change the world, and together i did it. >> it's pretty good, right? >> in the words of charlie sheen, winning. >> winning. true. tiger blood. >>> ronald mcdonald is trading in his oncy for cargo pants. check out the red blazer, spiffy, the bow tie, where's waldo rugby shirt. he could move to williamsburg. he's ronald mcdonald the hip stir. >> this the old ronald scott outfit? >> that was different with the cup on the nose. mcdonald reacting to a drop in sales, and

colbert is trending right now. also trending avril leonardo dicaprio may play steve jobs in a biopic. drew barrymore named her baby frankie. we like that. nypd the department's asked followers to tweet photos of themselves andnew york city officers and instead it was flooded with a number of images of aggressive police officers. follow us at twitter check it out cbssf. >>> did your family call your frankie? >> my mom, my sister. >> good info. frankie in the house. >>> i think her other daughter is named olive. >> i didn't know that. >> a little entertainment fact for you. my own brian hackney. [ laughter ] >> all right. let's go out live and show you two problem spots now including this one in hayward up to 3 lanes possibly blocked right now so you could see some traffic tie-ups with this one and they are already growing. it looks like the sensors pick up some slowing around 238. but again you could see big delays towards 92. in petaluma tow crews are working to clear at petaluma boulevard south. you can see the sensors are pretty -- well, wow. they are in the red now. so even though

colbert report. >> i have my show for the rest of the year and -- when are you leaving? i don't know. i should have asked. >> what's it worth to you, stevefans say they'll miss dave but change is good. >> i think it would be a great to bring a younger crowd in and still keep the name of the show. >> reporter: the two comedians took a selfie, already a nod to the younger demographic colbert is expected to attract when he takes over for letterman next year. >>> well, the duke and duchess of cambridge got down, down under this morning. they tried a little deejaying, scratching the vinyl at a hip-hop school in southern australia. kate seemed a little hesitant but it appears she got the hang of it and later prince wchls tried his hand at a spray pai paintipain painting mural. a little mix there? maybe. >>> and musician ryan lewis on his project to help people with hiv/aids. i'm anne-marie green, and this is the "cbs morning news." i'm anne-marie green. and this is the "cbs morning news." we cannot let the fans down. don't worry! the united states postal service will get it there on time with priority mail flat rate shipping. our priority has

governor christie, steve, seems to be doing a lot to make sure his name stays out there. he tweeted yesterday expressing his excitement over stephen colbertman. this is his tweet. oh, letterman, i'm really going to miss your fat jokes. wait, no i'm not. @colbertnation. >> what can we make of this? what's motivating and what can be motivating chris christie here? he wants it to look at business as usual and when that internal investigation released its findings and said christie's exonerated and you can see the plan from a pr standpoint was that report comes out, he holds a press conference and says i'm exonerated and i've answered the questions and he's prickly with the press and he goes out to las vegas and talking to republicans out there and holding a town hall meeting and he does another marijuana thing in colorado. the thing to keep in mind here is there are sort of two fronts into the investigations that are going on right now. we talked about the state legislative committee and the two people appearing next month and what else they might do. the real action is in the u.s. attorney's office and we know people are talking about them

reasons i'm very excited is one is steve and i both went to northwestern university so that's very exciting for me. it is more exciting because the character stephen colbertlays on the "colbert report" went to dartmouth. so when i was a guest on his show, he came back stage and reminded me, just a reminder the character -- i went to northwestern. my character went to dartmouth. so when we're out there, don't say we both went to northwestern. and i was like great. thank you for reminding me. and then of course when i was out there all did he was run down northwestern. as like lousy school that only i went to. i'm also very excited because i for the last few months, i've been the newest person to take over a talk show. and when you're the last person to take over a talk show you get hazed relentlessly. the amount of hazing is crazy. like i have to get jimmy kimmel coffee every morning and he lives in los angeles. [ laughter ] so i'm so psyched now that stephen will be the new guy and then i can join in the hazing and i'll get my own jacket. very nice. it's a beautiful satin jacket that we all get. but congratulations and give it up for stephen colbert. such