senior national security council official during the bush administration under both condi rice and steve hadleyhere and i think it's very important that pompeo and trump understand if you want a good deal you can't be seen to be in a hurry. you want some concrete outcomes from north korea. you can't be panicked. they will have some candid discussions to say we need to show progress but not be panicked. neil: i get the sense with north koreans though, that they're very big into showing the shiny object over here, included reunification of families meeting and similarly remains of u.s. servicemen and women, some ho were there going back 78 years. so they do all of that, and it does look good and does grant them pr but is that a sideshow? how much of that is integral to this? >> it's a sideshow but part of the sort of typical steps that north korea does when it shows it is willing to negotiate. now unfortunately the past, both the clinton and bush administrations led to talks, which failed to disarm north korea, but starting with reunification, also the return of korean war dead, rkia, killed earl