. >> steveen, stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. nation-- (cheers and applause) thank you so much. right through the uprights. thank you. nation, thank you, please, sit down, everybody. nation, if you have been watching the news, and i hope you have been, vladimir putin takeover of crimea is a sobering reminder that we cannot trust the subans unless they have a scottish accent. and folks, things just went from bad to borscht. >> we learned that it included taking ukraine's combat dolphin, that's right, the dolphins like the ones pec tured here, they were trained by the ukrainian navy to attack enemy targets. >> stephen: yes, these dolphins were trained to defend ukraine. if only their soldiers had been. (laughter) nation, we in the united states are defenseless against this dolphin army because due to bad planning our ocean defense system is merely a series of colourful hoops. (laughter) and i think i speak for everyone when i say japanese mass dolphin slaughterers, we owe you an apology. they tried to warn us. they tried to warn us