[laughter] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: yes, steven seagal.cheers and applause] because the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is an even worse actor. [laughter] we know hollywood violence is the real problem, therefore it's also the solution. [laughter] it's like fighting fire with fire. if your house is on fire, call an arsonist, he'll know what to do. [laughter] but for some reason arizona democrat chad campbell called using seagal as an instructor "ludicrous." adding, "why don't we also have clint eastwood and chuck norris and bruce willis come out and train them too while we're at it?" [cheers and applause] well, come on! [cheers and applause] that is stupid. you can't have those guys. they still get work. [laughter] besides, none of these guys have lama seagal's mastery of tactical ops. >> i've put hundreds of thousands if not millions of hours into my weapons training. >> stephen: that's right, millions of hours! [laughter] now a million hours is about 115 years, which sounds crazy, but so does asking steven segal to train yo

and cosy he's masa class in the russian capital one of the world's martial arts i guess steven seagal made sure that he would be coming back. about ferdinand r.t. moscow. let's move to another combat sport requiring quick reflexes focusing last weekend the prestigious moscow saber event was held in the capital where a russian leading peon who was returning from a paternity break crowned a memorable year to take individual gold medal i chose has more. the spectacular moscow saber fencing to him and has been captivating crowds in the capital since nine hundred seventy three two hundred competitors from twenty three countries took part in those this year it was the st petersburg native who claimed the men's crown twenty six year old nicholas koval it finished third at the london olympics then took time off for the birth of his second child but has now produced a first by beating italian olympic silver medalist diego acuity in a tense contest which left him with just a few proud words which was it was for because i really wanted to win here in my home country that was my only goal today i

who better than steven seagal, best known for "under siege" to whip the kids into sthape.the size of him. he visited moscow yesterday to take part in a ceremony for a school opening. when the kids rushed putin for a photo op, segal swept into action, pulling the president to safety. segal's films are apparently familiar in russia and he's visited several times. >> obviously, the long shorts there. >> putin is no stranger to celebrity friends. he welcomed gerard deppar due after the film star abandoned his home rate to avoid a new tax rate for millionaires. i don't blame him. there's clearly a pattern happening here. there is also stuff happening in north korea. >> we call those pro hugs. >> that's a pro hug with dennis rodman and kim jong-un. dennis rodman stopped by to toast the dictator and the couple even caught a local basketball game, as we reported last week. kim's father was also known as a movie buff, so it's possible the two discussed one of the greatest films of all time. take a look. >> they may have their own styles -- >> who does your hair, siegfried or roy? >

. >> jon: are you allowed tap point to -- >> it was a steven seagal movie. >> jon: you're kidding me. wow. wow. you have triumphed over adversity. seriously here is the good news, you proved them all wrong and i got out of the acting business. [laughter] it's >> jon: that's our show. here it is your moment of zen. captioning sponsored by comedy central [eagle caw] stephen: tonight, i uncover secret data in your facebook profile. turns out karen liking your photo means she wants to get back together with you. [laughter] then, how to spot radical muslims, and even more dangerous gnarly muslims. [laughter] and my guest, carl edgar blake, is a farmer who says he knows how to breed the perfect pig. step one: find a spider that can spell. [laughter] jon hamm is sick of everyone talking about his giant penis. so, media, you can start talking about mine. this is "the colbert report." ["the colbert report" theme music playing] captioning sponsored by comedy central [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting "stephen" brrk [ welcome to the report. good to have you with us. please, please -- [che

. >> jon: are you allowed tap point to -- >> it was a steven seagal movie. >> jon: you're kidding me.w. wow. you have triumphed over adversity. seriously here is the good news, you proved them all wrong and i got out of the acting business. [laughter] it'síçíç=Ñç=óçíçíç=?

vladimir putin wish aspiring wrestlers all the best as the russian leader was torn by film star steven seagal the grand opening of a new sports center in moscow putting himself as an avid student of judo on a soviet martial art of somebody. your sample school is a prominent print in russia it is a school with great history and traditions that have nurtured many outstanding martial artists it goes without saying that all of you can become champion wrestlers in the future but all of you will get the perfect training here which will make you strong and will help you achieve a lot in life. so when sports now are russia's dakar rally champion had wanted to live and swedish. daniel bowden what a star transitions parts of snowboarding competition just sounds odd some pittsburgh considering the top of brave the cold for us one of the most in dissipated extreme events in russia has become synonymous as an action packed festival of winter sports. competition was held for the third time and its status on the snowboard world tour you're in t. the east of borders competing there was also a massive man mad

back to part two of the sports show and we raise you with a hollywood style martial art supremos steven seagal returned to moscow to host his second master class this month and claimed he'd help russian fighters grow tougher this robot that onion found that. a legend in town stephen c. go they have small widely recognized as an action movie star than a great martial artist by the seventh day i get a specialist was the first foreigner to open if you don't screw or dog in the japanese martial arts in japan alice thursday read john to moscow for his second masak less in somewhat seventy the traditional and most popular martial arts school in russia. it was not only demonstration but also what a sum up with the sure good game for my quito we will get in i you know but not mention usually strike with the arms and. back of the head from the hand and strike to the program striking the face of the strike if we so many come with sports around its i.q. this extremely sophisticated techniques which make it really special i mean the way i think is probably differ from other provide like to teach my studen

but days later when steven seagal started hanging out with vladimir putin i thought maybe there is something to this. maybe the secret of patching up relations with notorious world leaders rests on the charms of the 90s. we'll go to evil dictator 90s era personality matchmaker. what better way to rebrand the personality than to pair him up with clutzy neighbor steve urk urkkel. steve will teach him how to be the clutzy neighbor next door. killing thousands of my own citizens--did i do that? next up, fidel castro--is he still alive. we're going to match him up with the principal of "saved by the bell." if they're both alive or if thereabout deadthey're both dead they're going to retire in arizona. and finally the ghost of hugo chavez will be paired up by the ghost of patrick swayze in the movie "ghost." they'll strap on comfy track suits. it will be awkward at first. but once that clay starts spinning it will be peace and harmony. i'm still trying to decide which spice girl is good for ahmadinejad. i'm done talking now. >> michael: thank you for joining us in "the war room." have a great nigh

which is why yesterday to launch it he stood beside steven seagal. seagal. and putin.t a shirt. sign me up. "piers morgan tonight" is next. oh, hi thehey!ill. are you in town for another meeting? yup, i brought my a-team. business trips add up to family time. this is my family. this is joe. hi joe! hi there! earn a ton of extra points with the double your hhonors promotion and feel the hamptonality. a confident retirement. those dreams have taken a beating lately. but no way we're going to let them die. ♪ ameriprise advisors can help keep your dreams alive like they helped millions of others. by listening. planning. working one on one. that's what ameriprise financial does. and that's what they can do with you. that's how ameriprise puts more within reach. ♪ all stations come over tots more mithis is for real this time. step seven point two one two. verify and lock. command is locked. five seconds. three, two, one.

and teaming up with action star steven seagal and opening a martial arts center outside of moscow making. i almost didn't recognize him. >> alisyn: what can a fortune 500 company learn about a baby diaper, especially the strategy with stinky sales. here is the former ceo of procter & gamble. >> great to be with you. >> alisyn: you were at the helm of palmners-- i'm sorry, procter & gamble, and in the market, 1978, hugies came along and what happened? >> the disposable story is a great strategy story. you know, strategy is about choices that give you a better chance to win. that whole category was created by pampers in the '60s, blue ocean, 25 billion in sales worldwide today and what happened in the late '70s was, pampers, p and g decided to introduce another brand called love. and decided to put new product technology on luv's and huggies was soon after luv's and divided it and huggies came in and suddenly had a three way race. >> alisyn: and what did you do successfully after that? >> i think that ultimately we got the strategy right and there are five critical choices that make up str

also what is going on behind vladimir putin and steven seagal?ix with 4 wheels. it's a hawk with night vision goggles. it's marching to the beat of a different drum. and where beauty meets brains. it's big ideas with smaller footprints. and knowing there's always more in the world to see. it's the all-new lincoln mkz. picasso painted one of his master works at 56. doris taerbaum finished her first marathon at 50. not everyone peaks in their twenties. throughout their lives. passion keeps them realizing possibilities. an ally for real possibilities. aarp. find tools and support at aarp.org/possibilities. with new lean cuisine salad additions. with grilled chicken edamame pineapple ginger vinaigrette and crispy noodles. just bring your own lettuce. new lean cuisine salad additions. just byol. find us in frozen. ♪ [ indistinct shouting ] [ male announcer ] time and sales data. split-second stats. [ indistinct shouting ] ♪ it's so close to the options floor... [ indistinct shouting, bell dinging ] ...you'll bust your brain box. ♪ all on thinkorswim f