this journalist says, steven seagal, what do you think of steven seagal saying you don't know how tos like, what? >> jimmy: because you were a boxer. >> well, yeah, i boxed as a kid. but i know how to punch. >> jimmy: right. did he really say that? >> apparently he did. >> jimmy: oh, boy. is he regretting that right now in that halloween costume he's wearing in russia. [ laughter ] >> has he really moved to russia? >> jimmy: yeah, he moved to russia. i don't know if he moved there or we sent him there and told him not to come back. [ laughter ] he seems to be in russia, for whatever reason. it's a weird thing. certain celebrities, especially ones like dennis rodman who dye their hair, go to countries that aren't necessarily our friends. >> i know. >> jimmy: oftentimes they don't come back. maybe he's in trouble. maybe you could punch vladimir putin over there. >> vladamir. >> jimmy: take care of the whole situation. your movie, it's funny. a lot of people of a certain age really know what happened with watergate, they know all the details. but for many years we didn't know who deep t

one thing's for sure, you mess with steven seagal, you're not only going straight to hell, you're goingt to dvd. ( laughter ) we've got a great show for you tonight. ( cheers and applause ) steve martin is here. but when we return, awkward photos of beautiful celebrities, all for a good cause. stick around. ♪ ♪ that's why at petsmart we carry royal canin breed health nutrition formulas. now spend $50 on royal canin and save $10 on your next purchase and when you buy any bag of dog or cat food we give a meal to a pet in need. petsmart - for the love of pets. kyle, we talked about this. there's no monsters. but you said they'd be watching us all the time. no, no. no, honey, we meant that progressive would be protecting us 24/7. we just bundled home and auto and saved money. that's nothing to be afraid of. -but -- -good night, kyle. [ switch clicks, door closes ] ♪ i told you i was just checking the wiring in here, kyle. he's never like this. i think something's going on at school. -[ sighs ] -he's not engaging. i think something's going on at school. all smartphones are more or less the s

george foreman challenged steven seagal to a no-holds-barred fight in response to seagal bashing n.f.lers for kneeling. two 60-year-old men duking it out over patriotism? that's the senate america needs. ( laughter ) also, activists are working to bring a steel sculpture of a 45-foot-tall nude woman to our nation's capitol. all right, calm down, washington monument. you dog. and, finally, every year, when i look outside, i notice the leaves all turn red at the same time. how did the communists get to our trees?

george foreman challenged steven seagal to a no-holds-barred fight in response to seagal bashing n.f.lmerica needs. ( laughter )

steven seagal is about to face a countertop grilling tycoon.a fight. they have gotten sponsors from life alert, metimucil. topic three. federal mortgage lender fannie mae is accused of spending $30 million taxpayer dollars on their new office in washington, d.c. the inspector general claims fannie mae executives spent $250,000 on a slapped here. $500,000 for a gypsum ceiling detailing and $250,000 for a glass walkway. it's not tore me to say whether they made frivolous purchases. but they were too busy trying out their water slide and continues hear them over their dj in the lobby. topic three. they are going to try to get babe dwrois not cry on airlines. they have enlisted the help of 34 families to find ways to get babies through takeoff and landing without crying. the company is working on a way to get democrats to stop crying about the election. they haven't had any luck with that one but we are firing their success. topic five. the new england patriots figured out a way to fly without listening to crying babies. the boeing 767 is so big th

he was voted most likely to be the love child of steven seagal and joey fatone. [ applause ] and finallylers, it's matt feiler. he was voted most likely to store food in his cheeks for the winter. there you go, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ artificially flavored i never made it so fascinated ♪ ♪ please don't change it got modified original do you hear me lady ♪ ♪ you're beautiful just be you you don't gotta try ♪ ♪ just do cause doing too much might change ♪ ♪ my view of you so let it grow organic cause it's automatic and true ♪ ♪ you don't gotta try just do you don't have nothing to prove ♪ ♪ it's what you do so let it grow organic cause it's automatically you ♪ ♪ >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: that is nice. that is musician and producer stokley of mint condition sitting in with the roots tonight! [ cheers and applause ] his debut album, "introducing stokley," is out now. thank you so much for being with us tonight. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: this is going to be fun. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fun show