brian, steve? 20 and 30-year-olds at more at risk of dying in debt than are carrying over $5,000 more in debt on their credit cards than their parents did at the same age. >> steve: how can we change this dangerous debt cycle? joining us now from nashville is our best friend in the personal finance expert department, dave ramsey. good morning to you. >> good morning, guys. >> steve: i love this first thing on this chilly day in new york city, for the young people, decide you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, right? >> yeah. don't believe stupid articles like that last one we were referencing that you're going to die in debt. what a hopeless message. the way you get out of debt is you got to get really mad. you got to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. my friend says people change their lives when they finally say, i've had it! that's it. we're not living like this anymore. >> brian: so make the decision and then you'll start working it out if you're driven enough. use the debt sno

>>steve: yay! let's -- >>alisyn: we've learned the united nations is giving money to kuwait because iraq invaded it in 1990. the u.n. compensation commission paying another $1.3 billion for damages bringing the total so far to kuwait to $40.1 billion. the money goes towards damages to kuwait's oil fields and losses in production and sales. >>> he helped plan the brutal attack on museum buy that -- on mumbai. today he will learn his fate, being sentenced in a chicago courtroom for the three-day rampage. ten gunman attacked a crowded train station and the taj mahal hotel. prosecutors asking for a term of 30 to 35 years. that leaves open the possibility that he could one day go free. >>> reaction pouring in to letting women serve on the front lines. in a few hours defense secretary leon panetta will lift the military's ban on women serving in combat. >> i broke down and had muscle atrophy and weight loss at a much faster rate and noticeable rate than my male marines. >> i threw hand grenades and fired

steve? >> steve: all right. thank you very much.etic players in the national football league, might even win rookie of the year. after suffering his second knee tear, the future of rgiii is in question. dr. sherman is an orthopedic surgeon at new york university and joins us live today. good morning. >> good morning. >> steve: you have not treated him, but what sort of operation did he have? >> sounds like he had a very complicated operation. he already had an acl reconstruction years ago and he had to have the operation for the acl redone. my understanding is a tendon was taken from his other knee, so his healthy knee, and there was another ligament in his knee that was also torn and that was repaired. >> steve: we just showed in slow motion -- i believe it was in the fourth quarter when he went down and inn that terrible spill he -- there it is right there. from what we've seen, he was kind of hurt before that, wasn't he? >> that's my understanding. >> steve: all right. a lot of people go through stuff like that, but they're not n

>>steve: yes, you do. go to my ipad and i could sit there at arm's length and i'll become more and more nearsighted but i get to watch this. >>alisyn: you're suggesting everybody in america get an ipad. >>brian: if they want to stay together. >>alisyn: i do fight with my husband about this. how much sports can a man watch? isn't it dull? >>brian: you've got to watch the pregame. then you watch the game. and then you watch the post game analysis to understand what you just saw. >>steve: you just skwrepbzed every -- generalized every sport. >>brian: i think they missed the boat. in that list it doesn't name the number-one thing my wife and i disagree on. it happens at least twice a week. >>steve: we get in the car, going out to eat. we're at the end of the driveway. where are we going to go? it's over where. if we go right, we're going that way. >>alisyn: that doesn't sound like a fight. that sounds like inertia. you should just decide before you leave. >>steve: but somebody's going to have to cave. >>brian:

steve? >> steve: thank you very much.pass the senate's bill to avoid the fiscal cliff. not all republicans were on board. some in the house and the senate said the bill did not go far enough. one man in the senate who voted no this week, alabama senator richard shelby, he joins us this morning from washington, d.c senator, good morning to you. >> good morning to you. >> steve: you voted no 'cause this is a bad deal, right? >> absolutely. a bad deal, mostly about taxes and spending and ultimately borrowing. very little cuts there. >> steve: what did you want to see? >> i like to have seen a grand bargain and i believe you never know, if we would have held out, maybe it would have done something. the pressure was building on the president. he certainly doesn't want to see us go into recession. but we need fundamental tax reform. we need to reform our entitlements. we need to look at the spending ledger. we're always wanting to spend and promise and spend and borrow, but not cut. we've got to get real about this. we're heade

it. >> steve: okay. it. now she is a senior fellow at the center for american progress. >> brian: she has plenty of time to read. >> gretchen: didn't cap and trade pass the house on the night michael jackson died? i think it was dead then. >> steve: the nancy pelosi house. >> gretchen: yes, it did, because i remember that sort of got lost in the headlines when michael jackson died. >> steve: it was facing certain death in the senate and it never -- >> brian: just to follow up, katherine jackson ended up in charge of the estate. >> steve: good to know. >> brian: the children have stood up for their father. >> steve: we worry about blanket. >> brian: who doesn't. >> gretchen: now to your headlines. first the journal news editors, janet hasson and mcbride published the names and addresses of every gun permit holder legally in two new york counties. now another media outlet is doing the same thing. they published the names of every licensed gun owner in new york city until this is a different story. >> gretc

ready. >> steve: and go!lloon. [ ping sound ] >> jimmy: you go to apple -- you to i -- >> tunes. >> jimmy: take the -- yeah. it's not the morning, not the evening. it's the -- >> noon. afternoon. [ ping sound ] >> jimmy: yeah. you look at a full or crescent. >> moon. [ ping sound ] >> jimmy: to go to the bathroom, you can eat a -- >> prune. [ ping sound ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a -- it's type of monkey but not an ape. >> baboon. [ ping sound ] >> jimmy: yeah. and if i were to -- get some whale blubber i would use -- >> harpoon! [ ping sound ] >> jimmy: yes. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] cleared it! [ cheers and applause ] i wouldn't -- don't. no, no. >> okay, now it's serious. >> steve: the mocking dance! >> okay, now it's very serious. >> jimmy: i mean, now i'm serious. you know i played you in beer pong and i won. [ laughter ] >> i love someone who not only wins but who reminds me -- [ laughter ] >> steve: all right, lars, are you ready? pick a category. >> good luck, sweetheart. >> think i'm g

>>steve: bad news.ngraded illinois has sunk to the bottom of the credit heap as the s&p gives illinois the worst rating of all 50 states in the united states of america. credit agencies have been yelling at the prairie state officials to get their act together to conform out-of-control pensions crippling the states. stuart varney is here. this can't surprise you, can it? >> no. pension costs out of control that don't have the money to pay their obligations, and everybody knows it. the rating agencies know it, so they downgrade them. that means that when illinois comes to borrow money -- and they're going to try to borrow money in the next couple of days, maybe $500 million. >>steve: from who? >> anybody who will lend it to them. the people who will lend it to them, floating bonds, will say, wait a minute, we're not sure you can pay us back so we want more interest. pay us more interest to accommodate the risk. it is possible when they borrow this $500 million over the life of those bonds, the taxpayers

steve? >> steve: let's switch gears. job for our next guest and an impresssive one to say the least. after nearly 25 years, of military service, he's about to receive the highest enlisted rank in the united states air force. senior master sergeant scott stoy joins us live. good morning to you. >> good morning. >> steve: what have you been doing in the air force all these years? >> for the first 12 years i worked as a aero ground space and then recruiting. i've gone through the gauntlet of being a recruiter and a flight chief and moved up to squadron level and now the superintendent of active duty recruiting for the state of new york. >> steve: that's awesome. it's good because when you go into the recruiting office and you want to talk to somebody who has been there and doesn't -- it's good to have a guy like you right there behind the desk. >> yes. all of our recruiters have experience. we don't allow recruiters to come right in as a recruit. they have have experience in the air force to at least be a senior airman. >>

steve? >> steve: congratulations to her.e 100th anniversary of the birth of president richard nixon. our 37th president is often remembered for how his career ended. let's not forget he was also an extremely popular and effective president. last night his career was celebrated in washington at the mayflower hotel where the nixon foundation held a gala. among those in attendants was the former deputy director of the u.s. office of management and budget under president mix inen, he joins us live after a busy night. fred, good morning to you. >> good morning. >> steve: when you look at the people who were in attendance last night and the alumni class of the richard nixon administration, it's very impresssive. >> it really is. i myself became later a ceo of two major corporations and i'm an underachieve in this group. we have a president of the united states, vice president of the united states, four future secretaries of state, two that became secretary treasury, two that became secretary of defense, four in actual security adv

steve? >> steve: all right, thanks.ools, a new plan in new york city would let failing teachers quit their jobs with a squeaky clean record, meaning some of our nation's worst teachers could get hired again in another district not knowing about their bad record. education expert and president of the eagle academy foundation, david banks, joins us live today. good morning to you. >> thank you for having me. >> steve: apparently, and this is infuriated a lot of people, when we found out about it. you heard about this for years. if a teacher winds up with an unsatisfactory rating, if they agree to retire, get out of the school district, they will retire with a satisfactory rating on their record. the problem is, then once they retire, they can go someplace else, get a job, and the new school district doesn't realize that that teacher was a dud? >> yeah. it's unfortunate. it's referred to as the dance of the lemons, to have an ineffective teacher have the ability to leave your school, your school district, and go to another

. >> you gave steve part of our studio platform? >>steve: no. you will have to tune in. stay tuned. >> i think i'm going to be here for the three hours. >>steve: you will have to stay tuned to find out what exactly was involved. it did involve this pocket hose right here. >>brian: he's supposed to be on the camera, and he goes to get a pocket hose right in the middle of a segment. what are you? an extra? what are you? an august sillry? -- an auxiliary? >> this is getting more intriguing by the minute. i can hardly wait to hear about that hose. >>steve: it was something that happened on friday that went hardly awry. >> was this at the end of the show? >>steve: no. >> when i was on the treadmill, i was watching part of the show, but i missed this whole hose episode. then all of a sudden you guys froze at 8:40. maybe it was a direct tv satellite thing. you froze for the next 20 minutes. >>brian: it was chilly outside. >> we've got to get to headlines. it's shaping up to be a big week for white house staff announcements. president obama will nominate john brennan as an ex-c.

>>steve: okay.ent's game plan, what should republicans do in return? former r.n.c. chairman jim nick -- jim nicholson joins us. do you think that is what is on the president's plate to destroy the congress? >> i think it is. he's looking forward to the elections in 2014 where they can get the house back and have control of the government, which is what makes the u.s. house so historically critically important to us today. we have to be a united republican outpost in the house. that's the only branch of government we still have. and it's very important that we hang together. i used to say when i was a party chairman, we have to hang together so we don't hang separately. and it's more important than ever now. >>steve: absolutely. i want to share with you and our audience right now the results of a fox news poll wh-t president's attitude towards congressional republicans since this election. he's become 55% more confrontational people across america say. you're talking about he would like to take contr

steve?th after the shooting rampage at sandy hook elementary school, two more school shootings on exactly the same day. man and woman killed while sitting in a car at a kentucky community college. as you can see there. chaos yesterday at st. louis business school. a part-time student opened fire on a financial aid director and then shot himself. both are expected to survive. meanwhile, we're just hours away from president obama announcing there at the white house how he wants to prevent gun violence like this. but his plans are already drawing strong criticism. peter doocy with the latest. >> president obama will step forward in about 4 1/2 hours to tell the world officially that he wants every state to make universal background checks a part of every firearms transaction. he's also expected to express his desire for a renewal of the expired assault weapons ban, as well as a new ban on magazines that carry more than ten rounds. >> this is something we have to address as a nation. it's not so

>>steve: it's big and fat. >> a whale? >>steve: it's a walrus.>> i should have known that. >>gretchen: no. no you shouldn't have. >>steve: sounds like that one's got a hammer. got another one? >> i'll get this one. [playing tape] >> that's got to be some -- >>gretchen: jack, i love you. you're being very logical right now. it's not a mouse trying to open a door. [playing tape] >>steve: lives under water. >> got to be a dolphin or willamette or -- dolphin or whale. >>gretchen: all right. >>steve: the final sound. listen to this. [playing tape] >> a snake. >>steve: what kind? >> a rattlesnake. >>steve: you're right! stop there. the day before we played that, we watched kimba in the jungle. we are ill-suited to answer these questions. did i call him kimba? simba. >>gretchen: he thought it was an unfair question. >>steve: if there is anyone it is a fair question to, it is a guy who works with animals. >>gretchen: lance armstrong lied to the sports world. how did he get away with it for so long? >>steve: live outside, can we get on that bike? [ male a

>>steve: absolutely.hen the payroll tax hit at the first of this year, they are going to go where did that money go? it was a shock to them. senator john thune yesterday tweeted after jay carney blamed the house democrats. -- house republicans. he says white house secretary blames g.o.p. for economy while pushing higher taxes. what planet do these guys live on? former representative alan west was on greta van susteren last night. this is his observation on the mess. >> it is a circular firing squad. i think that's what you're talking about. in that case nobody wins, especially the american people don't win who are looking for leaders who can sit down and analyze the situation and come up with solutions. einstein said the definition of insanity is to continue to do the exact same thing and look for different results. what really concerns me is how the federal reserve is going to try to step in and stimulate the economy to the tune right now of about $85 billion that they're printing to try to buy up our ow

>> jimmy: who. >> steve: him! >> me? >> steve: yes! >> who. >> steve: hmm. what is your name?: that's what i'm trying to find out! >> jimmy: all right. calm down, will ya? >> steve: okay, listen. when i say hello to this fellow right here, i'm saying hello to who? >> hello, nice to meet you. >> jimmy: see, now you're starting to get it. [ laughter ] >> steve: get what? >> i'm right here. >> steve: and who are you. >> i'm who. >> steve: what? >> yes? >> steve: ooh. who's this fellow? >> jimmy: no, who is that fellow. >> i am who. who am i. >> steve: how am i supposed to know? what's your name? >> jimmy: no, what is his name. >> steve: i'm not asking ya what his name is. i'm asking you, who is this fellow right here? >> that's right. >> steve: but what's his name. >> what is my name. >> steve: you don't know your name? >> of course i do. >> steve: well then, tell me. >> what. >> steve: your name. >> what. >> steve: what's wrong with this guy? >> jimmy: who? >> what? >> yes? >> steve: no. i think he's got a hearing problem. >> jimmy: who? >> what. >> yes. [ laughter ] [ applause

>>steve: steve kroft sat down with pierce morgan.tely flabbergasted when he discovered the white house wanted him to be the interviewer. he was asked why does obama keep sitting in the chair opposite you? he said we're fair, we do great editing and we're not going to play gotcha, we're not going to go out of our way to make him look stupid, and he knows that. >>gretchen: brit hume on special report last night put his thoughts into perspective. >> you didn't hear it on "60 minutes" but president obama is unhappy with the press. in a second weekend interview with the new republic he grumbled about fox news and rush limbaugh. president obama also complained a reporter generally treats the republicans and democrats as equivalent balancing the views of one side with the other. they fail to note one side -- his -- is trying to do what's right and -- quote -- "we haven't seen that kind of attitude on the other side." never mind of course that the president at that moment was being interviewed by one of his campaign donors and supporters who

>>steve: you think a monkey. i think steve varney. when the camera moves to that spot, there is only one thing. varney has entered the building and is working his way down the hall. can we get a report on this? >>gretchen: who bumped you, scott? he's not telling anybody. i think it's okay back here now. it's stable. >>brian: tkpwre khrepb, check -- gretchen, check down the line. is there a shot of stuart varney walking down the hall? >>gretchen: why don't you guys do a tease? >>brian: we want to watch. see what happens. >>gretchen: there he is. did you disrupt the camera? >> no, i was out here. >>gretchen: good morning. read the tease. >>brian: americans don't have a spending problem. we just have a fox news problem? >> i am not going to keep cutting the discretionary budget, which, by the way, is not out of control, despite what you hear on fox news. >>brian: senator mary landrieu is wrong, and stuart varney says her comments are really bad news for taxpayers. they're running now. and meet mr. big. this criminal, seven-year-old handc

(warren "tiny" amaral) vamos, steve, vamos, steve!alguien como tiny o cualquiera aún de la talla de tiny pudiera levantar físicamente el helicóptero como lo hizo. estoy profundamente agradecido por lo que hizo. vamos, steve, vamos steve! entra al agua y ayúdame! (warren "tiny" amaral) en verdad no creí que fuera posible, pero en ese momento era la única alternativa que tenía no había nada alrededor, ni nadie que me ayudara así que lo intenté. lo único que puedes hacer es pedir al señor allá arriba que te ayude y lo hizo. (narrador) se determinó que el accidente fue debido a pedazos de metal en el sistema de control del helicóptero, esta contaminación causa pérdida de estabilidad. el terrible accidente y el milagroso rescate han afectado profundamente tanto a steve como a tiny. steve se ha retirado de volar y considera que ha cambiado. (steve cox) tuve una madurez personal al ser más responsable con mi familia y con la gente que me rodea para demostrarles regularmente cuánto significan para mí y cuán importantes son en mi vida. (narrad

steve is not fine with it. >>steve: no, i'm fine with it. >>gretchen: you said it was crazy earlier. >>steve: it is crazy. i would hate to have a microphone follow us all through -- >>gretchen: they're in the hallways. they're in the elevators. in the hallways. they're right back here. >>steve: we have microphones in our hallways? >>gretchen: little cameras. for safety. here's my take on it. this guy has a job. so it's a job. it's a job-creating situation. >>steve: he's a spy. >>gretchen: coming up on "fox & friends," the flu claiming a new victim. the high five. kids are being told to elbow bump. elbow bump. is this a little too much? i figured i was just born that way. i was always on some new, life-stopping diet. and then, weight watchers. it lets me be me. and i naturallyame a healthier me. i amazed myself. get used to it. because when a weight loss program is built for human nature you can expect amazing. introducing the new weight watchers 360 program. join for free and expect amazing. because it works. i've been fortunate to win on go

>> steve: president. >> if i an that question -- >> steve: con did he president? in the senate and it's not just about immigration. it's about growing our economy. we can't tax our way out of this predicament we're in. the only answer is to grow our economy explosivesively grow our economy. we'll have a lot more to talk about that. >> gretchen: you do fit the niche of trying to get lat tino vote back to the republican party. >> the immigration issue is important to hispanics because it's a family and personal issue. but it's not enough. the truth is, we have a lot to say that should apply to all americans, including those of hispanic descent on economic growth, upward mobility, education opportunities. it's just hard to get people to list stuff if they think you want to deport their grandmother. so that is one of the things we're facing now. plus it's right for america. we have to get this thing solved once and for all. we're tired of dealing with this northbound president bush 43 knows what you're saying and he saw the problems with the changing message he left.

i don't believe it. >> steve: that's nuts. >> jimmy: what did you say? >> steve: what's that?you say? >> steve: i said it's nuts. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] sorry. i'm sorry. >> jimmy: it actually isn't -- >> steve: it's nuts. >> jimmy: -- it actually isn't nuts. >> steve: it's nuts. >> jimmy: it is, yeah. [ laughter ] >> steve: nuts. >> jimmy: this isn't good, you guys. [ laughter ] you guys, i read that iran is behind some recent cyber attacks against american banks. yeah. people could tell something was going on when they started seeing a convenience of three goats. [ laughter ] i gotta do it. [ in foreign accent ] "i have got three goats, my friend. my friend." [ laughter ] "three goats, my friend. i'll give you three goats, my friend." >> steve: "come on. give me three goats." >> jimmy: "come on." >> steve: "don't judge me, man. come on, give the goats." >> jimmy: "don't judge me." [ light laughter ] you guys, the 2013 oscar nominations will be announced tomorrow. ooh. [ cheers and applause ] so exciting to find out which movies you have to lie to your friends a

steve: herpecin.this be for? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> steve: cold sores. sure. >> jimmy: what's this one here? [ pop-up sound ] olive garden. i love olive garden. "when you're here, you're family." everyone knows that, but then you click on it. "when you're not here, we talk [ bleep ] about you." [ laughter ] >> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: they're just being honest. >> steve: that's just like family. >> jimmy: they're being honest. >> steve: that's just like family. you see how many breadsticks he ate? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: let's refresh. [ pop-up sound ] "coldstone creamery." oh, i love that. it says "like it, love it, gotta have it. [ pop-up sound ] diabetes, that is." [ laughter ] >> steve: that's true. >> jimmy: that's true, yeah. >> steve: true. it's a malady. [ pop-up sound ] >> jimmy: reese's, love those. "there's no wrong way to eat a reese's -- >> steve: oh no. >> jimmy: click. -- unless you try to eat it with your butt." [ laughter ] >> steve: another al roker joke. >> jimmy:

steve said make it simple. he said just this simple, a thousand songs in your pocket, three clicks to get to any song. they said okay. no manual, no instructions. so they would show the different interfaces they were coming up with and they would have different ways i can't get to it in three clicks and he would say not good enough. we need a screen for the title and for the artist and he said no, no, you don't need all that. three clicks, any song. finally they come up with this beautiful intuitive design you'll remember, the original ipod to scroll you get to any song you want it as you scroll it went down faster. as all simple and intuitive and he loves it but he looks at it and there's a big about him on the top. he says what the -- is this? i will leave out the middle were. they were a little scared to answer but at one point somebody finally said that is the on and off button. steve nods and says what the -- does it do? they are a little scared because they know what it does. steve it turns it on and off.

>> steve: very nice!was sick! that was amazing. i love it. >> steve: their new album is available everywhere, right? >> everywhere. >> brian: if everyone buys it, you can get real cellos, because these have no bodies. they need some help. >> gretchen: you are fantastic. >> steve: thank you very much. >> gretchen: coming up, forget everything you heard about the food. why healthy things like asparagus and oatmeal are really devils in disguise. we'll reveal it coming up. you you you you so, we all set? i've got two tickets to paradise! pack your bags, we'll leave tonight. uhh, it's next month, actually... eddie continues singing: to tickets to... paradiiiiiise! no four. remember? whoooa whooaa whooo! you know ronny, folks who save hundreds of dollars by switching to geico sure are happy. and how happy are they jimmy? happier than eddie money running a travel agency. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. this reduced sodium soup says it mahelp lower cholesterol, how do

even steve jobs used to eat there." and mona's sort of taken aback and bites her tongue and doesn't say, "steve jobs is your son." but she looks shocked, and he says, "yeah, he was a great tipper." >> and i was in that restaurant once or twice, and i remember meeting the owner, who was from syria, and it was most certainly him, and i shook his hand, and he shook my hand, and that's all. >> and jobs never spoke to him, never talked to him, never got in touch with him, never wanted to see him. [ticking] >> coming up, steve jobs delays cancer surgery. >> how could such a smart man do such a stupid thing? >> you know, i think that he kind of felt that if you ignore something, if you don't want something to exist, you can have magical thinking, and it had worked for him in the past. >> more steve jobs when 60 minutes on cnbc returns. >> the cancer that eventually killed steve jobs was discovered accidentally. while he was being checked for kidney stones back in 2004, a cat scan showed a shadow on his pancreas that turned out

>> steve: two.i'll go with one, martin luther king's bible. >> actually three! if we count yesterday with the chief justice, as you know -- >> gretchen: trick question. >> one yesterday, that is from michelle obama's family. today you're right. there will be two. one used by president lincoln when he was sworn in, and then another from dr. martin luther king, jr. so, you know, there is something for everyone there. all points of history being touched by these bibles being used. listen, folks continue to pour in here. there is definitely a buzz in the air and it's going to warm up. but we just got an alert from the dc weather system that we could get snow later on. probably by the time everyone is cleared out here, but just in time fort balls, that may roll into d.c back to you. >> steve: a very pretty day. we couldn't book alex trebek, but we did get shannon bream. >> brian: we were terrible. >> you're brilliant, all three of you. >> steve: over to you and gretch. >> gretchen: ever dream of quitting

steve? >> steve: thanks.ally serve when you ask for regular coffee, to whether that seatbelt sign threw stays on just a little too long. joining us to blow the lid off of the confessions is veteran flight attendant and author of "cruising attitude," heather pool, who joins us from los angeles. hi, how are you? >> good. how are you? >> steve: good. we were talking a little bit about this survey that came out yesterday. for instance, we heard that some flight attendants, when you ask for regular coffee, they give you decaf 'cause they want you relaxed and maybe so you fall asleep so that you're not bugging them all the time. >> i'm not going to say that i may have accidentally on purpose may have served decaf, but it was only because i couldn't get back to the galley. we work long hours and we have short layovers. so we like our coffee. we usually have a lot of coffee. we like to brew the coffee. so unless you're on a red eye flight, i don't really think you need to worry about that. >> steve: a lot of people w

>> steve: oh! >> jimmy: oh! >> oh my! yeah, look at you. >> jimmy: no, no, no. yeah, you. you got my shoe! >> jimmy: no, i didn't get anything. [ laughter ] oh my goodness. all right. how does the game end? first one with two. >> steve: with two. >> put them in the oven at 350. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you for wearing your own clothes. it really pays off. >> well, look at this. >> jimmy: what's up, man? you good? >> what's up? >> jimmy: that's what i keep saying. [ laughter ] bad improviser. here we go, man. >> come on. >> jimmy: you're the captive. >> come on! yeah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: oh, it's 1 to 1. >> what do you think? you think it's hard boiled or what? [ cheers ] this is hard boiled. >> jimmy: only one -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ yes! i win! >> steve: you win. you win! the reigning champion. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. thank you so much. david duchovny. the new season of "californication" premiers sunday 10:30 p.m. on showtime. snooki and jwoww join us next. wow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> steve: that one team. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: the one team. >> jimmy: that other team, too. >> stevethe one teams going to do good -- >> jimmy: but the other team is going to win. [ laughter ] speaking of the super bowl, 49ers wide receiver randy moss apparently told his teammates that they are in new orleans on a business trip and they are not there to have fun. then he went back to his job catching a ball for money. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: like that. >> jimmy: that's not how you throw a football. i don't know what that is. karate. >> steve: yeah. that's jose. >> jimmy: now i'm walking like an egyptian. [ laughter ] this is very interesting here. i read that 5% of americans will watch this year's super bowl alone. [ audience aws ] yeah, it will be weird when they see a player get called for holding and say "sounds nice." [ laughter and applause ] should have ran this under warm water. [ laughter ] ♪ all by myself [ laughter ] i'm doing "bridget jones's diary," the third one. >> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: i'm playing -- yeah. i'm playing barney jones.

>> steve: yeah.> jimmy: the american way. [ applause ] more news out of washington. education secretary arne duncan announced that he will stay at the white house for president obama's second term. he said his mission is to make the u.s. number one in education and won't stop until our students are doing gooder. [ laughter ] he won't stop. [ applause ] the movie news. mgm is coming out with a remake of the classic 1959 film, "ben-hur." [ laughter ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: you can tell it's a remake, though, because instead of being about a jewish prince who was betrayed by his roman friend, sent into slavery and then seeks revenge, it's just about sexy vampires. [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: and i think that's -- i want to see it. [ applause ] >> steve: i'd love to see it. >> jimmy: i want to see it, yeah. get this. on sunday, an elderly man in chicago accidentally crashed his car into an apple store. yeah. and not surprisingly, he didn't look any more confused than all the other elderly pe

>> steve: whoo! >> whoo! whoo! inspiring quote on their wall for everyone to see. >> steve: yeah, i love that. >> jimmy: i love reading them. sometimes i'll read one, and i'll think, "did they really say that?" [ light laughter ] and it can be hard to tell. no one checks these quotes to see if they're real or not. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: i'll show you guys what i'm talking about in this next segment called "don't quote me." ♪ don't quote me 'cause i'm -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: like i said, for example, the first quote is from the greek philosopher aristotle. he said, "love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." [ audience aws ] sounds like he said that, right? that's sweet. i think he would say that. here's another quote from aristotle. "it takes two to make a thing go right. it takes two to make it outta sight." [ laughter ] now, i'm not sure. that's what i'm saying. that's what i'm talking about. i'm not sure he'd say that. >> steve: he might have. he might have. >> jimmy: i don't kn