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Mar 12, 2015
03/15
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, steve higgins. told and retold. it's as old as our time on earth. and as new as tomorrow. you can have a yard. or slightly less. gardening isn't about where we choose to live. it's about how we choose to live. miracle-gro. life starts here. ...don't break up with the witphone you love.... can you imagine? running into your old phone... ...after you get a new phone? awkward. the bring your own phone plan. keep your phone. network. number. half the cost. straight talk® wireless we lovchocolaty, creamy... with a little something extra. mmm deliciousness. cookies or almonds. yumminess. hershey's is mine, yours, our chocolate. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ba-da-ba-ba-ba a small amount evaporates this is the angels share gone forever but some liquid stays trapped deep inside the wood. this is the devil's cut we've made history by extracting it a richer full flavored bourbon devil's cut from jim beam gotta get that bacon! yummy, crunchy, bacon bacon bacon there in that bag! who wants a beggin' strip? me! i'd get it mysel
, steve higgins. told and retold. it's as old as our time on earth. and as new as tomorrow. you can have a yard. or slightly less. gardening isn't about where we choose to live. it's about how we choose to live. miracle-gro. life starts here. ...don't break up with the witphone you love.... can you imagine? running into your old phone... ...after you get a new phone? awkward. the bring your own phone plan. keep your phone. network. number. half the cost. straight talk® wireless we...
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Mar 6, 2015
03/15
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>> steve: what? >> jimmy: "dinner at tiffani's." [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on!ome on! >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: i mean dude -- i want -- how am i not producing that? i want to -- that's the best idea i heard. >> steve: "dinner at tiffani's." >> jimmy: "dinner at tiffani's." yeah. >> steve: on cooking channel. >> jimmy: cooking, yes. yeah. on cooking channel. were you about to say something else? >> steve: i was about to say food network. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. that's not -- no, it's not on. it's on cooking channel. >> steve: cooking channel. >> jimmy: that's right >> steve: cooking channel. >> jimmy: not "the" cooking channel. >> steve: no, no, no. cooking channel. >> jimmy: "the," "the" food network. >> jimmy and steve: cooking channel. >> jimmy: cooking channel [ laughter ] it's like the beatles. >> steve: right. exactly. not beatles. it's "the" beatles. >> jimmy: that's correct. but beastie boys. >> steve: is not "the" beastie boys. it's just -- >> jimmy: beastie boys. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: so this would be if food network is to beatles and cookin
>> steve: what? >> jimmy: "dinner at tiffani's." [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on!ome on! >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: i mean dude -- i want -- how am i not producing that? i want to -- that's the best idea i heard. >> steve: "dinner at tiffani's." >> jimmy: "dinner at tiffani's." yeah. >> steve: on cooking channel. >> jimmy: cooking, yes. yeah. on cooking channel. were you about to say something else?...
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Mar 17, 2015
03/15
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>> steve: yeah.>> jimmy: every book i'm about to show you is 100% real. these are actual books. you can find them on amazon. you can check them out at your local library. these are real books. let's see what's on my do not read list. this first one is fantastic. it's about one of my favorite things to do in the spring. it's the official guide to outdoor skating. >> steve: ouch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: step-by-step approach. shows you how to get from here to there. hither and thither in style and flash. check out that move right there. it's so easy anyone can do it. let's see the back here, see if -- there we go. yeah. >> steve: wow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so nice. everyone's doing it. let's take a look inside. it says here in no time at all you can you too can be skating like this. [ laughter ] this is the end goal? >> steve: that's it? >> jimmy: you want to be shirtless and publicly intoxicated. yeah, i guess so. i guess that's right. there it is. [ laughter ] yeah. great. stretching out. >> steve: s
>> steve: yeah.>> jimmy: every book i'm about to show you is 100% real. these are actual books. you can find them on amazon. you can check them out at your local library. these are real books. let's see what's on my do not read list. this first one is fantastic. it's about one of my favorite things to do in the spring. it's the official guide to outdoor skating. >> steve: ouch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: step-by-step approach. shows you how to get from here to there. hither...
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Mar 18, 2015
03/15
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>> steve: corned beef. >> jimmy: corned beef, i've got a great idea. >> steve: what?ied boiling it? [ laughter ] >> steve: where do you live? >> jimmy: what would you like, oatmeal? you boil it! [ laughter ] ♪ you take the egg you boil it you take the oatmeal you boil it ♪ ♪ the corned beef you boil it the cabbage and you boil it ♪ >> steve: what town are you from? >> jimmy: "schitt's creek" is where i'm from. ♪ there you go. >> steve: oh, i was up there without a paddle. up there without a paddy. >> jimmy: oh, i just came back from "schitt's creek." >> steve: did you really? >> jimmy: yes, and i'm white. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. >> steve: it's the number two town in the nation. outside the town, there's a a dump. >> jimmy: no. yeah, well there was -- >> steve: you take a dump right out -- >> jimmy: you're saying there's a town dump by there? >> steve: yeah, there's a town dump right there. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. st. patrick -- he flushed all the snakes out. >> steve: did he really? did he really there? >> jimmy: he certainly did. [ laughter ] >> ste
>> steve: corned beef. >> jimmy: corned beef, i've got a great idea. >> steve: what?ied boiling it? [ laughter ] >> steve: where do you live? >> jimmy: what would you like, oatmeal? you boil it! [ laughter ] ♪ you take the egg you boil it you take the oatmeal you boil it ♪ ♪ the corned beef you boil it the cabbage and you boil it ♪ >> steve: what town are you from? >> jimmy: "schitt's creek" is where i'm from. ♪ there you go....
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Mar 10, 2015
03/15
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. >> steve: illegal.they're illegal. >> jimmy: criminal intent. >> steve: yes. criminal intent hat. >> jimmy: yeah. but then -- [ laughter ] okay. but this is a michael mann movie. >> steve: okay. michael mann. >> jimmy: with chris hemsworth, so explosions and things, and they're just going out to just blow up stuff. it's insane. it's really, really good. i am going to challenge him to a game of water war later in the show. [ cheers and applause ] if he's man enough. if he's michael mann enough. >> steve: then you'll wear a a wet hat. >> jimmy: no. there's no hats involved. plus, guys, she's one of my favorite people. she's never been on the show. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: she's a great -- she's fantastic. she was amazing in "foxcatcher." >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: which is nominated for a golden globe, academy awards. whenever they nominate that. please. it's going to be. she's in "american sniper" opposite bradley cooper and she knocks it out of the park. and she's on the cover of vogue. look at my pal.
. >> steve: illegal.they're illegal. >> jimmy: criminal intent. >> steve: yes. criminal intent hat. >> jimmy: yeah. but then -- [ laughter ] okay. but this is a michael mann movie. >> steve: okay. michael mann. >> jimmy: with chris hemsworth, so explosions and things, and they're just going out to just blow up stuff. it's insane. it's really, really good. i am going to challenge him to a game of water war later in the show. [ cheers and applause ] if he's man...
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Mar 22, 2015
03/15
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then steve tried to devise a plan to cover up the crime. saw the parked car along the side of the highway and decided to stage an accident. he got the jeep into position, moved his seat back with his bloody hands, made sure his seatbelt was fastened while deborah's wasn't, then braced himself for impact. the jeep traveled 130 feet at 40 miles per hour directly into the back left side of the parked car. deborah's arm and bloody sweater struck the windshield, proof that she was bleeding before the crash. after the crash, steve tried to break the side window to make the crash look worse, but a passing motorist stopped to help before steve could do it. >> i'm convinced that he contrived a plan to try to cover it up. whether he had that figured out before he assaulted her and killed her, i believe he did come up with a plan to cover it up to make it look like she died in that car crash. >> at the trial, steve pleaded not guilty. he admitted striking deborah during an argument but said he was driving her to the hospital for treatment when the acc
then steve tried to devise a plan to cover up the crime. saw the parked car along the side of the highway and decided to stage an accident. he got the jeep into position, moved his seat back with his bloody hands, made sure his seatbelt was fastened while deborah's wasn't, then braced himself for impact. the jeep traveled 130 feet at 40 miles per hour directly into the back left side of the parked car. deborah's arm and bloody sweater struck the windshield, proof that she was bleeding before...
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Mar 26, 2015
03/15
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[ laughter ] >> steve: hands on.f. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "hit me with your breast shot." [ laughter ] this next one is from tracy miller in milwaukee, wisconsin. she was shopping online for a a dog mask. >> steve: of course. [ laughter ] don't go to the dog mask store. >> jimmy: no. too many of them there. she goes online. everyone needs a good dog mask. and this is -- this was a very special one apparently. this one is actually pretty good. [ laughter ] look at the description. it says "recommended for ages 15 to 16 years old." one good year. >> steve: one good year. >> jimmy: how old are you? >> steve: i'm 17. >> jimmy: i would not recommend this dog mask. [ laughter ] next one is from jaron pulver in heber city, utah. it's a youtube link to a recent jimmy kimmel interview. let's see what it's about here. it says, "jimmy kimmel asked president barack obama about his d." [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. apparently he shows all. >> jimmy: yeah. i would never do that, by the way. >> steve: talk about your d? you always ta
[ laughter ] >> steve: hands on.f. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "hit me with your breast shot." [ laughter ] this next one is from tracy miller in milwaukee, wisconsin. she was shopping online for a a dog mask. >> steve: of course. [ laughter ] don't go to the dog mask store. >> jimmy: no. too many of them there. she goes online. everyone needs a good dog mask. and this is -- this was a very special one apparently. this one is actually pretty good. [ laughter ] look...
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Mar 20, 2015
03/15
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they're pretty big toys. >> steve: you're right, pop. >> jimmy: i am right. >> steve: yeah, you are -t did you say? >> steve: please not now. [ laughter and applause ] [ car sounds ] >> jimmy: stick around, everybody. we're going to be right back with ben stiller. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [container door opening] ♪ what makes it an suv is what you can get into it. ♪ [container door closing] what makes it an nx is what you can get out of it. ♪ introducing the first-ever lexus nx turbo and hybrid. once you go beyond utility, there's no going back. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a talented writer, director, and actor who stars in a new film called "while we're young", which is in theaters march 27th. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome ben stiller! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you. >> jimmy: ben stiller! hey! [ cheers and applause ] great to see you. >> hi, jimmy. how are you? >> jimmy: nice to see you. i'm fantastic. before we get into this, i saw something on the news the other day. i keep up with fashion all the time. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i wa
they're pretty big toys. >> steve: you're right, pop. >> jimmy: i am right. >> steve: yeah, you are -t did you say? >> steve: please not now. [ laughter and applause ] [ car sounds ] >> jimmy: stick around, everybody. we're going to be right back with ben stiller. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [container door opening] ♪ what makes it an suv is what you can get into it. ♪ [container door closing] what makes it an nx is what you can get out of it. ♪ introducing...
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Mar 4, 2015
03/15
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that's steve carell."re just sitting there -- >> yeah, my mom is ridiculous. we were like at a party with literally, bruce willis there with his wife. and my dad knows bruce willis's wife, because my dad's a a photographer and she's a a model. and they were introduced and my mom said, "oh, hi, what's your name? he said, "i'm bruce." [ laughter ] and she said "oh, what do you do? your wife's a model." [ laughter ] he said "i'm an actor." she said "oh, my son's an actor. how's it going for you?" and he said, "yeah, it's going pretty good." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's a good guy, right? that's a good answer. mom! it's bruce willis! >> i was like dying -- >> jimmy: that sounds like my mom. it sounds like everyone's mom. it's so good. let's talk you about this movie. gosh, it's going to be a giant movie. the other one was like $300 million at the box -- it's just a giant phenomenon. you've got shailene woodley. our pal, how is she doing? >> she's doing good. >> jimmy: i love her so much. miles teller. >> uh-huh
that's steve carell."re just sitting there -- >> yeah, my mom is ridiculous. we were like at a party with literally, bruce willis there with his wife. and my dad knows bruce willis's wife, because my dad's a a photographer and she's a a model. and they were introduced and my mom said, "oh, hi, what's your name? he said, "i'm bruce." [ laughter ] and she said "oh, what do you do? your wife's a model." [ laughter ] he said "i'm an actor." she said...
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Mar 27, 2015
03/15
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>> steve: luda! >> jimmy: luda! >> steve: luda!is bridges, luda. >> steve: we love ludacris. >> jimmy: did that sketch ever air on saturday night live? >> steve: the turkey one? >> jimmy: no, where they bought ruth's chris, the steakhouse? >> steve: oh yeah. >> jimmy: and then they sold it back to chris. so then it ended up being, "chris' ruth's chris steak house." then ludacris bought it, and it was "ludacris's chris' ruth's chris --" [ laughter ] it was funny to us. >> steve: we laughed. s jimmy: and they laughed. is my funny face.hm [ applause ]hm >> jimmy: there's like five steps to that one. >> steve: it just gets deeper and deeper. >> jimmy: so just take a video like that, upload it to youtube with the title "tonight show funny face off" or you can download our "tonight show" app, it's free. and submit your video from there. then tune in next week and you might see me and ricky gervais recreating your kid's funny face on the show and playing a a game. [ cheers and applause ] it's cute. it will be fun. guys, big announcement,
>> steve: luda! >> jimmy: luda! >> steve: luda!is bridges, luda. >> steve: we love ludacris. >> jimmy: did that sketch ever air on saturday night live? >> steve: the turkey one? >> jimmy: no, where they bought ruth's chris, the steakhouse? >> steve: oh yeah. >> jimmy: and then they sold it back to chris. so then it ended up being, "chris' ruth's chris steak house." then ludacris bought it, and it was "ludacris's chris' ruth's...
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Mar 24, 2015
03/15
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>> steve: hey! oh!get about it. >> jimmy: he's coming on. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: when is he coming on, like next week? two weeks? he's going to punch me on the face. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, he has to. listen to this, guys. according to a new poll, exactly 50% of americans view president obama's presidency as a success. while the other half of americans are actually candidates for the republican presidential nomination. [ laughter ] so who knows? you could win. [ applause ] this time mitt romney's the only one not running. yeah. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i saw that last week president obama released a a video on youtube asking young iranians to help support the nuclear agreement and persuade their leaders to accept the resolution. iranians were so touched by obama's video that they sent their own in response. unfortunately, when obama opened it he just got this. ♪ [ laughter ] he got rick-rolled! he got rick-rolled. >> steve: he got rick-rolled. ♪ never gonna give you up ♪ never g
>> steve: hey! oh!get about it. >> jimmy: he's coming on. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: when is he coming on, like next week? two weeks? he's going to punch me on the face. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, he has to. listen to this, guys. according to a new poll, exactly 50% of americans view president obama's presidency as a success. while the other half of americans are actually candidates for the republican presidential nomination. [ laughter ] so...
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Mar 27, 2015
03/15
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>> steve: luda! >> jimmy: luda! >> steve: luda!is bridges, luda. >> steve: we love ludacris. >> jimmy: did that sketch ever air on saturday night live? >> steve: the turkey one? >> jimmy: no, where they bought ruth's chris, the steakhouse? >> steve: oh yeah. >> jimmy: and then they sold it back to chris. so then it ended up being, "chris' ruth's chris steak house." then ludacris bought it, and it was "ludacris's chris' ruth's chris --" [ laughter ] it was funny to us. >> steve: we laughed. >> jimmy: and they laughed. but then the sketch went over four minutes. [ laughter ] >> steve: it was 72 hours long. >> jimmy: guys, we do this fun game on our show called "tonight show funny face off." but we need your help to play. all you need to do is take a a short video of your kid making their best funny face. all right? so here's an example of what we're looking for. >> my name is rianne and this is my funny face. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: there's like five steps to that one. >> steve: it just gets deeper and deeper. >> jimmy: s
>> steve: luda! >> jimmy: luda! >> steve: luda!is bridges, luda. >> steve: we love ludacris. >> jimmy: did that sketch ever air on saturday night live? >> steve: the turkey one? >> jimmy: no, where they bought ruth's chris, the steakhouse? >> steve: oh yeah. >> jimmy: and then they sold it back to chris. so then it ended up being, "chris' ruth's chris steak house." then ludacris bought it, and it was "ludacris's chris' ruth's...
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Mar 11, 2015
03/15
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>> jimmy: so happy. >> steve: ha ha! yeah! >> jimmy: the 10-year-old -- >> steve: we win!0-year-old inside of me was like "oh, my gosh. what?" >> steve: yes! >> jimmy: can we just see that again to see what really happened? >> dick poop -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. >> dick pope, for "mr. turner." >> jimmy: dick poop. yeah, there you go. yeah. that's a name dick pope hasn't heard since the fourth grade. [ laughter ] you know john travolta was like, "oh, thank god. yes, it's all you, now. it's off of me, man. i had a year of this. you said a name wrong, you said a name wrong." [ light laughter ] you guys aren't going to believe this. it turns out there's an actual dick poop, who also worked in the entertainment industry. >> steve: really? he does? >> jimmy: yep. we took a look at dick poop's imdb page -- [ laughter ] >> steve: his imbm page? >> jimmy: you laugh now, they guy's a' -- no, he's a talented director. >> steve: he's a director. >> jimmy: cinematographer, sorry. he does a lot of things. >> steve: he does lots of things? >> jimmy: he wears many hats. [ la
>> jimmy: so happy. >> steve: ha ha! yeah! >> jimmy: the 10-year-old -- >> steve: we win!0-year-old inside of me was like "oh, my gosh. what?" >> steve: yes! >> jimmy: can we just see that again to see what really happened? >> dick poop -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. >> dick pope, for "mr. turner." >> jimmy: dick poop. yeah, there you go. yeah. that's a name dick pope hasn't heard since the fourth grade. [...
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Mar 20, 2015
03/15
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they're pretty big toys. >> steve: you're right, pop. >> jimmy: i am right. >> steve: yeah, you are -d you say? >> steve: please not now. [ laughter and applause ] [ car sounds ] >> jimmy: stick around, everybody. we're going to be right back with ben stiller. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [container door opening] ♪ what makes it an suv is what you can get into it. ♪ [container door closing] what makes it an nx is what you can get out of it. ♪ introducing the first-ever lexus nx turbo and hybrid. once you go beyond utility, there's no going back. ♪ ♪ thank you, cable for taking longer to upload our family movies. for the slower internet upload speeds. for taking longer to upload my files to the cloud. for making me wait longer to share my photo albums. and for never upgrading to 100% fiber optics thank you cable... thank you cable, because if we never had you... we wouldn't know the incredible difference verizon fios makes. in customer satisfaction studies, fios is rated #1 in internet speed and reliability - 8 years running. plus, fios has the fastest wi-fi available from any provider, a
they're pretty big toys. >> steve: you're right, pop. >> jimmy: i am right. >> steve: yeah, you are -d you say? >> steve: please not now. [ laughter and applause ] [ car sounds ] >> jimmy: stick around, everybody. we're going to be right back with ben stiller. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [container door opening] ♪ what makes it an suv is what you can get into it. ♪ [container door closing] what makes it an nx is what you can get out of it. ♪ introducing the...
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Mar 13, 2015
03/15
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steve is on the ground -- steve apparently is ready. steve is on the ground in ferguson, missouri tonight. there are some 200 protesters outside of the police department once again tonight. steve, what's the latest? >> sean, we're right across from the police station where that shooting took place just after midnight last night. and about 200 protesters here. we've been trying to get a different point of view from people who are here out tonight protesting about what they thought. i want to ask you about what you thought about the shooting of the two policemen across the street? >> well, i was also out here last night. last night was a different vibe from tonight. the vibe tonight is a lot more of one being in unity than last night. last night was more of like an emotion and victory type of celebration -- >> reporter: last night emotions were a little high. >> yes. >> reporter: but what i'm looking for two policemen there shot. >> yes. >> reporter: how does that -- what's your reaction to that? >> my reaction to that, that should not be
steve is on the ground -- steve apparently is ready. steve is on the ground in ferguson, missouri tonight. there are some 200 protesters outside of the police department once again tonight. steve, what's the latest? >> sean, we're right across from the police station where that shooting took place just after midnight last night. and about 200 protesters here. we've been trying to get a different point of view from people who are here out tonight protesting about what they thought. i want...
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Mar 25, 2015
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>> steve: hey! pizza pizza. >> jimmy: dick vitale, man. >> steve: it's vitale!ro, seeing the field of 68 get narrowed down to one. con, or as republicans call that, the nomination process. there you go. a lot of contenders, a lot of contenders. pro, teams that don't make the ncaa tournament can play in the n.i.t. tournament. con, which is the basketball equivalent of "we don't have coke. is rc cola okay?" [ laughter ] >> steve: i guess, yeah. >> jimmy: at this point, what do i say? no? >> steve: i'll have water. >> jimmy: yeah. and finally, pro, watching villanova's sad piccolo girl burst into tears. [ audience aws ] con, i did the same thing when i heard zayn was leaving one direction. [ cheers and applause ] there you guys have it. those are the "pros and cons," we'll be right back, with "freestylin' with the roots." it's fun. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. dove men+care body wash has hydrating micromoisture for healthier stronger skin. no matter what you put it through. care makes a man stro
>> steve: hey! pizza pizza. >> jimmy: dick vitale, man. >> steve: it's vitale!ro, seeing the field of 68 get narrowed down to one. con, or as republicans call that, the nomination process. there you go. a lot of contenders, a lot of contenders. pro, teams that don't make the ncaa tournament can play in the n.i.t. tournament. con, which is the basketball equivalent of "we don't have coke. is rc cola okay?" [ laughter ] >> steve: i guess, yeah. >> jimmy: at...
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Mar 25, 2015
03/15
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BLOOMBERG
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steve cohen they go -- make it simpler? steve: they have. they go together. to get off the tax code. i don't disagree, except nothing gets fixed. i want to get to fear about job cuts in america. olivia: 3g did move burger king across the border to canada. what is the republican party going to do it 3g decides to move heinz or craft to canada? -- heinz or kraft foods to canada? steve: he's got to get the macro right. tom: they did not get the macro right? steve: look at europe raising taxes. japan raising taxes. and they wonder why their economies stagnate. brendan: you say there is no difference between the u.s. economy and that we have a european style economy. every analyst seconds the show fundamentally disagrees with you. there is a fundamental difference between our markets and european markets. steve: the european markets are so low that you could make the case you could do bargain buying there, and the same in asia. why are we satisfied with 2.5 percent growth six years into a recovery? tom: do we have the numbers on what we will see with kraft foods?
steve cohen they go -- make it simpler? steve: they have. they go together. to get off the tax code. i don't disagree, except nothing gets fixed. i want to get to fear about job cuts in america. olivia: 3g did move burger king across the border to canada. what is the republican party going to do it 3g decides to move heinz or craft to canada? -- heinz or kraft foods to canada? steve: he's got to get the macro right. tom: they did not get the macro right? steve: look at europe raising taxes....
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Mar 31, 2015
03/15
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. >> steve: there you go! ptp! this one's kind of complicated. you've got al gore, plus gonzaga, plus ebola. equals gorgonzola. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: that was a three parter. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: that was a three parter. >> jimmy: and finally, if you take tony the tiger plus weed, it equals chester cheetah. and there you go. that's all the time we have for "popular mathematics." [ applause ] before we go to break, we have an exclusive first look at the upcoming movie, "spies." starring melissa mccarthy, jason statham, rose byrne and jude law. it's in theaters june 5th. everyone's talking about this. check it out. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an academy award-winning actress starring in a new film called "woman in gold" which opens in select cities april 1st, and nationwide april 10th. please welcome helen mirren, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] helen mirren! oh, my gosh! we love you so much. >> here we are again.
. >> steve: there you go! ptp! this one's kind of complicated. you've got al gore, plus gonzaga, plus ebola. equals gorgonzola. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: that was a three parter. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: that was a three parter. >> jimmy: and finally, if you take tony the tiger plus weed, it equals chester cheetah. and there you go. that's all the time we have for "popular mathematics." [ applause ] before we go to break, we have an exclusive...
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Mar 28, 2015
03/15
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thug. >> steve: yeah, portly thug.he lost weight. >> jimmy: he lost a lot of weight. so slim thug, he wrote an article for the "new york times" this week about why having sex with your real estate agent is a bad idea. [ laughter ] his real estate agent was like, "not as bad an idea as having sex with slim thug." i have to work in this town, pal. [ cheers and applause ] mind your own business. mind your biscuits! check this out. willie nelson is apparently developing his own brand of weed and bongs. [ cheers ] which i guess is sort of like his version of oprah's garage sale. i got a bunch in the warehouse. i'm not using these. you can smoke it. that's right. willie nelson is developing his own brand of weed called "willie's reserve." he's actually not the first celebrity to do this. in fact, a lot of famous people have released their own strains of marijuana. some of them are pretty surprising. take a look. first we have barack obama. he released "yes, we cannabis." [ laughter ] next, new york mayor bill de blasio. he r
thug. >> steve: yeah, portly thug.he lost weight. >> jimmy: he lost a lot of weight. so slim thug, he wrote an article for the "new york times" this week about why having sex with your real estate agent is a bad idea. [ laughter ] his real estate agent was like, "not as bad an idea as having sex with slim thug." i have to work in this town, pal. [ cheers and applause ] mind your own business. mind your biscuits! check this out. willie nelson is apparently...
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Mar 7, 2015
03/15
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ktla's steve kuzj live in hollywood. steve. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: what happened?steve: he was waiting for him. >> jimmy: can we see the end of that again? i just want to see that. >> live in hollywood. steve. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: on the bright side, he got to meet the old lady from "the goonies." is that who that was? i didn't know who that was. [ applause ] >> steve: follow the bulldog, man. >> jimmy: actually, the measles thing is pretty scary. in fact, it feels like there's been a ton of bad news recently. we here at "the tonight show" decided to do something about that. because we're in l.a. this week we asked real local nbc anchors from all over california to read stories that we wish were true. stories that make us feel happy. i'll show you what i mean in tonight's installment of "i've got good news and good news." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i got good news i got good news i got good news ♪ >> a new survey shows that only 10% of americans are thinking, "nah," while 90% are thinking, "oh, hell, yeah." >> a new medical study shows the cure to get
ktla's steve kuzj live in hollywood. steve. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: what happened?steve: he was waiting for him. >> jimmy: can we see the end of that again? i just want to see that. >> live in hollywood. steve. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: on the bright side, he got to meet the old lady from "the goonies." is that who that was? i didn't know who that was. [ applause ] >> steve: follow the bulldog, man. >> jimmy: actually, the...
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Mar 28, 2015
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one of the things about steve was that steve would regularly call a lot of reporters in the early daysould not take our calls in the later days. guest: he was difficult to work with. in some ways, he may have been more difficult for brent sanders to work with -- brent's editors to work with. they really talked about things a lot, both for stories and outside of stories, they would talk regularly, but he was an incredibly difficult person to work with on stories. he was very demanding about photography, he always wanted to be pictured for the cover holding a device because it was all about selling the device. that is when he would give you access. that was it. he was difficult, but he also -- he cared that the look and feel and quality of the stories would be as good as the devices that he was trying to sell. cory: that is the journalism side of that. is the company so interesting to everyone in the world of business who wants to find inspiration for the way steve jobs did things and have the kind of success that apple is having in their businesses? when you look at what the legend of s
one of the things about steve was that steve would regularly call a lot of reporters in the early daysould not take our calls in the later days. guest: he was difficult to work with. in some ways, he may have been more difficult for brent sanders to work with -- brent's editors to work with. they really talked about things a lot, both for stories and outside of stories, they would talk regularly, but he was an incredibly difficult person to work with on stories. he was very demanding about...
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Mar 14, 2015
03/15
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wait. >> steve: hey!ghter ] >> jimmy: that can't be right. [ applause ] i love a good roast beef sandwich every now and then. guys, i saw this week was the great american water taste test, which award east hampton, massachusetts the title of best-tasting water in the country. yeah. judges say this contest was pretty close this year, because it's water. [ laughter ] pretty much tastes the same everywhere. shouldn't even have that contest. massachusetts has the best-tasting water in america. and once again, the second-best tasting water in america went to -- >> audience: new york city! >> jimmy: coors light. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tastes pretty good to me, man. ♪ rocky mountain high >> steve: colorado. >> jimmy: finally, college basketball this week. georgia won a big game against texas a&m. did you see that? oh, my gosh. you could really tell that georgia coach, mark fox gave it everything he had. just listen to his post-game interview. >> what gave you the edge through the end of the game? >> well, we
wait. >> steve: hey!ghter ] >> jimmy: that can't be right. [ applause ] i love a good roast beef sandwich every now and then. guys, i saw this week was the great american water taste test, which award east hampton, massachusetts the title of best-tasting water in the country. yeah. judges say this contest was pretty close this year, because it's water. [ laughter ] pretty much tastes the same everywhere. shouldn't even have that contest. massachusetts has the best-tasting water in...
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Mar 3, 2015
03/15
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>> steve: of course james!at a time and smashing it upon the top of your head. [ laughter and applause ] you will not know which eggs are raw and which are hard boiled. once you choose an egg you must smash it on the top of your head. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the top of our heads. >> steve: no put backs. [ laughter ] the first one to smash two eggs on the top of his head loses. [ laughter ] ryan, as the guest of this show -- >> jimmy: would you like to say his full name? >> steve: ryan reynolds. >> jimmy: there you go. [ laughter ] >> steve: rumbles and ridges. you as the guest will choose the first egg. >> jimmy: ah. >> steve: choose wisely my friend. [ coughing ] good luck. >> jimmy: what it feels -- >> i feel good about this actually. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: does it? >> in your face. in my face, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah in your face. [ audience oohs ] [ applause ] >> felt real good about that. >> jimmy: that's good because i knew that was -- so they all kind of are a little grouping here. so i'll just
>> steve: of course james!at a time and smashing it upon the top of your head. [ laughter and applause ] you will not know which eggs are raw and which are hard boiled. once you choose an egg you must smash it on the top of your head. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the top of our heads. >> steve: no put backs. [ laughter ] the first one to smash two eggs on the top of his head loses. [ laughter ] ryan, as the guest of this show -- >> jimmy: would you like to say his full name?...
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Mar 29, 2015
03/15
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with a steve jobs biopic coming soon. joining me today on "studio 1.0," emmy, golden globe, and academy award winner, aaron sorkin. aaron, thank you so much for being here. aaron: it's my pleasure. emily: it's great to have you. it's no pressure to write an intro for one of the most famous writers in the world, by the way. aaron: it's a nice intro. i appreciate it. emily: thank you. you just wrapped the last, the third and final season of "the newsroom." how do you feel? aaron: i feel great. this third season i think is the best of the three by far. i think it took me a while to learn how to write the show. it started to feel good in the third season. emily: talk to me about that process. aaron: i love series television. but the thing about it is that the schedule is ferocious and you have no time. so the worst part about it is that you have to write even when you're not writing well. and then you have to point a camera at it, and then you have to broadcast it to a lot of people. emily: "newsroom" has had its share of fan
with a steve jobs biopic coming soon. joining me today on "studio 1.0," emmy, golden globe, and academy award winner, aaron sorkin. aaron, thank you so much for being here. aaron: it's my pleasure. emily: it's great to have you. it's no pressure to write an intro for one of the most famous writers in the world, by the way. aaron: it's a nice intro. i appreciate it. emily: thank you. you just wrapped the last, the third and final season of "the newsroom." how do you feel?...
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Mar 21, 2015
03/15
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♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: jimmy baseball, man. >> steve: jimmy baseball.mmy. >> jimmy: no tie friday. >> steve: no tie friday. ntif. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, israeli prime minister benjamin netanyahu, for being re-elected to a fourth term, or as voters put it -- ♪ we want our bibi back bibi back bibi back ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: voters are big fans of chiles. >> jimmy: thank you, wichita state university mascot wushock, for looking like a a muppet gordon ramsey. [ ramsey impersonation ] donkey! throw a three pointer donkey! this isn't risotto! [ laughter ] >> steve: member of the wu-shock clan. ♪ >> thank you, espn college basketball analyst dick vitale, for planting a giant kiss on ashley judd this week. even joe biden was like, dude, boundaries. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, yeah. come on. oh, mr. vice president. >> jimmy: oh hi, mr. biden. ♪ thank you, the new bioengineered apples that are being described as genetically modified to resist browning. or as that's also called, being irish. [ laughter and applause ] hard to get a tan. hard to get a
♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: jimmy baseball, man. >> steve: jimmy baseball.mmy. >> jimmy: no tie friday. >> steve: no tie friday. ntif. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, israeli prime minister benjamin netanyahu, for being re-elected to a fourth term, or as voters put it -- ♪ we want our bibi back bibi back bibi back ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: voters are big fans of chiles. >> jimmy: thank you, wichita state university mascot wushock, for...
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Mar 27, 2015
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steve's evolution appropriately.portraits of steve tended to be fairly static like he's half genius, half jerk from birth. in fact, he changed a lot. certain stereotypes that got set in place back in the early 1980's stuck around for a long time, because steve parceled that access very carefully to the press. brent was one of three writers who really had kind of unlimited access to steve over those years. the other two were john markoff of "the times" and stephen leavy. we had a different kind of story to tell about him. cory: when i think of brent's work when you were editing him for some of that time, he made a career out of writing the steve jobs cover stories for so many years. one of the things about steve was that steve would regularly call a lot of reporters in the early days and would not take our calls in the later days. guest: he was difficult to work with. in some ways, he may have been more difficult for brent sanders to work with -- brent's editors to work with. they really talked about things a lot, bot
steve's evolution appropriately.portraits of steve tended to be fairly static like he's half genius, half jerk from birth. in fact, he changed a lot. certain stereotypes that got set in place back in the early 1980's stuck around for a long time, because steve parceled that access very carefully to the press. brent was one of three writers who really had kind of unlimited access to steve over those years. the other two were john markoff of "the times" and stephen leavy. we had a...
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Mar 27, 2015
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it is steve mcmahon. welcome. steve: hello. mark: we are talking about the scott walker story.cknowledged he changed his view. now the wall street journal is suggesting he has changed his view back. the journal has quotes from two people saying walker talked about supporting a path to citizenship for people in new hampshire here illegally. what is your theory about the story? is it accurate? steve: this is what happens when you go from t-ball to the major-league's. you have to hit the fast ones. this is a guy who thinks he can go into a room and tell people what they want to hear, and believes no one outside will ever hear it. this is not the first time he has done it. in 2006, he was a supporter of the kennedy mccain bill. in 2010, he was in a republican primary and he was against a bill in arizona, and then being criticized by conservative republicans he said he was in favor. this is going to follow him like the plague. john: obviously a guy like mitt romney, there were different issues you could pin on mitt romney. that is why he got the flip flopper label. if it is just imm
it is steve mcmahon. welcome. steve: hello. mark: we are talking about the scott walker story.cknowledged he changed his view. now the wall street journal is suggesting he has changed his view back. the journal has quotes from two people saying walker talked about supporting a path to citizenship for people in new hampshire here illegally. what is your theory about the story? is it accurate? steve: this is what happens when you go from t-ball to the major-league's. you have to hit the fast...
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Mar 27, 2015
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the inside story of becoming steve jobs.ederal reserve vice chairman stanley fischer says marvin jones is needed of the shadow banking system even though progress in overseeing it has been substantial. he spoke in frankfurt. >> if regulation is a cat and mouse game, so regulators job is never done. you do something and the other guys aren't going to sit still. they will figure out what there is out to do and do more of that. cory: fischer did not suggest policymakers take any further revelatory steps beyond those already announced. brazilian oil giant touch her bra selling oil and natural gas fields in southern argentina. -- petrobras selling oil and natural gas fields in southern argentina. looking for asset sales to raise capital after it was locked out of the international credit market. major corruption scandal. dow chemical strikes a $5 billion deal to emerge -- merge most of its soaring business. the so-called reverse morris trust transaction will leave shareholders of dow 50.5% stake. the houthis been looking to sell
the inside story of becoming steve jobs.ederal reserve vice chairman stanley fischer says marvin jones is needed of the shadow banking system even though progress in overseeing it has been substantial. he spoke in frankfurt. >> if regulation is a cat and mouse game, so regulators job is never done. you do something and the other guys aren't going to sit still. they will figure out what there is out to do and do more of that. cory: fischer did not suggest policymakers take any further...
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Mar 22, 2015
03/15
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with a steve jobs biopic coming soon. joining me today on "studio 1.0," emmy, golden globe, and academy award winner, aaron sorkin. aaron, thank you so much for being here. aaron: it's my pleasure. emily: it's great to have you. it's no pressure to write an intro for one of the most famous writers in the world, by the way. aaron: it's a nice intro. i appreciate it. emily: thank you. you just wrapped the last, the third and final season of "the newsroom." how do you feel? aaron: i feel great. this third season i think is the best of the three by far. i think it took me a while to learn how to write the show. it started to feel good in the third season. emily: talk to me about that process. aaron: i love series television. but the thing about it is that the schedule is ferocious and you have no time. so the worst part about it is that you have to write even when you're not writing well. and then you have to point a camera at it, and then you have to broadcast it to a lot of people. emily: "newsroom" has had its share of fan
with a steve jobs biopic coming soon. joining me today on "studio 1.0," emmy, golden globe, and academy award winner, aaron sorkin. aaron, thank you so much for being here. aaron: it's my pleasure. emily: it's great to have you. it's no pressure to write an intro for one of the most famous writers in the world, by the way. aaron: it's a nice intro. i appreciate it. emily: thank you. you just wrapped the last, the third and final season of "the newsroom." how do you feel?...
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Mar 18, 2015
03/15
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audience: [cheering] >> steve! whoo! hey, steve. steve: yeah. hey, diane. >> how you doing, steve? steve: girl, i'm good. >> if i was better i'd be twins. ah ha ha! steve: ha! >> [laughing] that is so silly. steve: shut up, girl! okay, go ahead. >> knock knock. steve: who's there? >> orange. steve: orange who? >> orange you glad to meet me, steve harvey? ha ha! steve: hey, listen, win yourself a lot of money, okay? come on. play well. defend your title campbell family. let's go. hey, let's play "feud." give me lindsey, give me diane. ["family feud" theme playing] ladies, we got top 6 answers on the board. here we go. if the zipper on your pants breaks at work, what do you do? >> use a safety pin. steve: use a safety pin. >> whoo! i'm going to play, steve. steve: they'
audience: [cheering] >> steve! whoo! hey, steve. steve: yeah. hey, diane. >> how you doing, steve? steve: girl, i'm good. >> if i was better i'd be twins. ah ha ha! steve: ha! >> [laughing] that is so silly. steve: shut up, girl! okay, go ahead. >> knock knock. steve: who's there? >> orange. steve: orange who? >> orange you glad to meet me, steve harvey? ha ha! steve: hey, listen, win yourself a lot of money, okay? come on. play well. defend your title...
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Mar 23, 2015
03/15
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he had covered steve for a long time. brent understood the technology well enough that that helped his friendship with steve. but it was a friendship bordered by, you know, a journalist source relationship. so steve called him friend, introduced him as his friend. but i think that, you know, brent was uncomfortable with that sometimes. >> it's interesting that on the one hand you have walter isa isaacson who was not close to steve jobs, but who jobs brought in at the end to give extraordinary access. then you have brent who walked a long journey with jobs but jobs kept at arm's length toward the end of his life. how much does that arm's length relationship they had toward the end of jobs' life influence the way brent remembers and expresses about jobs now? >> i think we learned a lot about brent's relationship with steve through the reporting of the book. we came to understand that steve had a close circle of friends. he had apple and his family. those were the three great priorities in his life. if you were outside of th
he had covered steve for a long time. brent understood the technology well enough that that helped his friendship with steve. but it was a friendship bordered by, you know, a journalist source relationship. so steve called him friend, introduced him as his friend. but i think that, you know, brent was uncomfortable with that sometimes. >> it's interesting that on the one hand you have walter isa isaacson who was not close to steve jobs, but who jobs brought in at the end to give...