well, anyway, prepare for tomorrow's huffington post headline "stewart evoice rates stewart."l. >> on the eighth day, they thought there was only enough hope for three days. >> you invite an important visitor to our house and our tone and eat your pizza with a [bleeped] fork right in front of us. >> i want to bless the children. you will not we nigh god's love. >> the giant [bleeped] gaggoons hanging on this man. >> i'm so short. can you lean over. >> [inaudible] >> anthony, go inside, and if you come back out, wear a light jacket. >> all right, boys. you know the rules. i don't remember anything. [speaking in all different accents] >> i like to eat cheese. >> what? >> you can take our horses, but you'll never take ourration! >> guvnah. >> new york i'm no spy, just [bleeped] with summer home. >> we don't need no stinking ez pass. >> you can't get there from quee-eh. >> he wasn't going out with little boys. >> you should see some of the [bleeped] i've done. >> better on the floor than in the senate. >> keeps getting better and better. >> another to be certain than right. >> am

stunningly out of touch they wanted to know why and gave jon stewart so much coverage in her book and she went into this rambling answers of the john stewart's audience had a mob like behavior and they weren't very smart this is what she said exactly so the low i.q. kids and their entire identity is i'm john stewart's biggest fan they put it on their resumes she went on to say that she thinks that jon stewart is funny but his audience is by and large filled with a bunch of losers now hold on here and coulter who makes her living at bashing liberals and taking a paycheck on fox news thinks that jon stewart's audience is dumb maybe what she really means is that they're young she's. bitter they don't like her tired sexpot be true team that she parades all over the conservative seat and other than her being better she's also wrong seaweeds and we did some digging today and we found a survey that looked at the public's knowledge of news events now this was done a few years ago by pew research and the results are not surprising the daily show and the colbert report scored the highest fifty

and jon stewart makes fun of cnn.when weiner says this was all true, where is jon stewart? he pulls his punch t s that ps night show. >> was that an effective response and what do you make of the point that he's overly celebrated as a media critic? >> let's start with i think jon stewart going on fox is genius for both of them because it's good tv. was his response effective, absolutely. it was right down the line quintessential jon stewart response. okay, i'm wrong, let's turn this into a sharp funny segment about why fox is so bad because it's so easy and fun to demonize fox particularly for his audience. i do think david has a point. i think stewart manages to take the most ridiculous aspect of cable news and turn it into an entertaining show. and sometimes that means he's an effect difference media critic and sometimes just an effective comedian. it's hard to separate the two sometimes. and he does get a pass. he's so better staining. entertaining. >> let's break the tie. he admits he's a comedian first but he use

stewart was in command going to bed with the lead. he took a four-stroke lead in the final round and the only player to be under par at that point. jansen fell seven shots behind stewart but he never gave up. >> anything can happen out here. these guys get under pressure of championship golf. they start looking over their shoulders and looking at the leaderboards. with the trees out here there is a lot of places to hit your shots you don't want to. these guys, on sunday, anything can happen and truly it did in 1998. >> jansen started charging while stewart started to misfire. he also started to experience a bit of bad luck. on the 12th hole stewart hit a perfect tee shot in the fairway but it landed in a sand filled divot. >> to be the winner, to be the champion if you will. again, we get down to this very tight 18th hole where he hits a good shot and has a putt and the putt doesn't go. >> his effort was value yent. it wasn't enough. jansen was crowned the u.s. open champion. >> well, it certainly is a great accomplishment to have on

we'll show you stewart's take and get you to weather when we come right back. vacation on a budget with expedia. make it work. booking a flight by itself is an uh-oh. see if we can "stitch" together a better deal. that's a hint, antoine. ooh! see what anandra did? booking your flight and hotel at the same time gets you prices hotels and airlines won't let expedia show separately. book it. major wow factor! where you book matters. expedia. ♪ >>> 2:44 in the morning in las vegas. what wow give to be right now? it's 5:44 in new york. let's get a check of the weather from bill karens. bill, you can almost feel the heat outside. >> if we were in vegas, do you think we'd be asleep by now? >> 2:44? i promise you wouldn't be asleep. >> it's going to feel like vegas, as we go through the week, willie. as willie mentioned, the heat's starting to build. at least we get a warmup slowly and then all of a sudden a blast furnace wednesday and thursday. the big stuff in the middle of the country. it's 105 in houston again. that's like desert temperatures. that is spreading eas

my name is jon stewart. thank you very much. my name is jon stewart. we got a good one tonight. my guest tonight, larry king. he is the long time host of "larry king, live!." [pronounced like jon is begging him to stay alive] sorry, that's "larry king live." i apologize. anyway, as -- no! oh, i forgot, last night on the show, i had an accident. if you were watching last night's show, in the midst of really just a passionate, clever bit, johnny [bleeped] had a little problem with the equipment. can we take a look at that real quick? [laughter] that's not good. [laughter] here's what happened. [cheers and applause] i'll show you what happened. so here's, here's what happened. [audience reacts] there you go. i want to thank my doctor over at mt. sinai for stitching me up, and i really want to thank the kid who was obviously waiting for facial reconstruction surgery, you know to, let me jump the line because obviously i had a reservation at nobu at 8:30. so it was the perfect comedy cut. it bled enough that it really, you could see it, but that i lost my arm. [laughter] so the best

i just want to know what's your theory on why do you think that jon stewart is just killing vox news. well it's pretty simple you asked earlier if news is the news is not good it's just that when you say it doesn't necessarily have to be a channel that puts news in the title and as we know from study after study dating all the way back to two thousand and four is the earliest when i can remember people who watch more fox news actually know less about what's going on in the real world and as we saw a couple of years ago jon stewart primary news viewers actually know more about what's going on been bill o'reilly's audience so people are desperate for news they're just getting it on comedy central but do you think i mean i'm totally with you there if you look at the statistics then jon stewart's audience is normally more educated so are people just getting smarter are there more of these people that are starting to show up or does it also have to do with the age group that we're talking about here you know more young americans that scar graduating from high school or going to college tha

stewart hammered them nightly. mccain was one of his most frequent guests and right after he wrapped up -- here he is right after he wrapped up the nomination. >> i came on the show. we were declared dead, buried and -- >> you were doing terrible, i remember that. you were just in terrible shape. in some respects, i resurrected your campaign. >> you did. because when i came on this show we got on to real serious issues. in fact, for a while there i was reminded of the words of chairman mao, who said it's always darkness before it's totally black. >> i remember getting that in one of my fortune cookies as well. chris: does he matter politically, john stewart? >> he doesn't want to be a political player, but he does have great political power and his ratings are huge, particularly among young people, which is why he's courted, why the president of the united states goes on his show. john stewart says the stuff you say at home when you start shouting at the television like a cread person, and he says it better than an

captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> here comes jon stewart >> here comes jon stewart ( laughter ) >> thank you very much for being here. i wanted to take some time to clear up some of the questions that have been raised about my behavior over the past ten days or so and... ( laughter ) to take full responsibility for my actions. i... i have made some mistakes and i have hurt those closest to me. ( laughter ) last friday night, a congressman whose name is synonymous with a sexual organ... ( laughter ) sent a photo of... it... to a young woman on twitter. it was by any standards a gift from the comedy... whatever it is comedians have that takes the place of a god. ( laughter ) last week, we spent three days on this story. we did over 59 jokes. ( laughter ) nine penis puns. we used an r. kelly impersonator to provide "trapped in the closet"-style commentary. and i... ( laughter ) and i personally said the word ( bleep ) ten times. ( laughter ) i acknowledge... ( applause ) i acknowledge a personal friendship with the congressman and yet express my belief that he was not

for the thing with jeb's stewart i wrote a biography of stewart. i wrote a book on the third day of gettysburg. i looked and looked like everybody else and, you know, i cannot find that piece of paper that says jeb stewart is supposed to attack the rear of the union army at getbetysburg when they break through. i think stewart was out there when they protect the flank. stewart said in his report upon the instructions of the commanding general. that's all he says. well, jeb, we assume you were instructed but what were they and he doesn't tell us what they were. i'm telling you that does idea stewart was supposed to knife in the rear of the army as they broke through has no paper trail to say that's the case. >> he may be trying to get to the baltimore pike at two taverns to try to cut mead's supply lines and i think part -- but see, we don't think lee met with stewart. if he met with any corps commander he met with hill. and i probably didn't meet with hill. there's no evidence that i found that he met with stewart so whatever instructions stewart r

from inside tony stewart's car, stewart bumped him from behind, sending vickers into trouble. earnhardt drought continues today, a blown engine leading him to the garage, finishing 41st. 24 laps to go, vickers gets payback. vickers rear ends stewart, sending him into the wall. look at how stewart ends up with his backside elevated on the tires. that is getting even. another look, vickers let stewart pass him before the turn, only to plow into him from behind. stewart held the lead at 1 point today, but finished in 39. didn't matter today, though. kurt busch dominated, leading 76 of the 110 laps. his 22 car takes the checker flag easily by 4 seconds over, guess who? jeff gordon. it's busch's first-ever win on a road course. >>> first one of the year for busch this year, too. he said gordon came into victory lane to congratulate him, although he still didn't apologize for last year. series points leader carl edwards was third. ambrose ends up 5th this year. >> what's changed over the last month for you? >> for me, shut up and drive. i've done my talking, now it's time to do driv

who could i sny. >> jon stewart? >> jon: my arm? i would sue my own arm. what were you thinking?i think there was a defective manufacturer. >> jon: there was something defective in there, all right. (laughter). >> but the other part of it is, of course, the fact that you can make stuff all over the world. so you take technology, you take globalization. for the american worker, this is really incredibly difficult and i think if you look at where american labor is right now, you have nine million... seven million officially unemployed but you add up all the people who stopped looking for work. you add up the people who have part-time jobs and these part-time jobs pay half as much as the median wage. that's 24 million people in america who are under employed or unemployed and those numbers aren't getting better. if you look at the president's budget it assumes we will create 20 million jobs. >> jon: but, you know, i have to say, with all due respect to them, it's been a year. and we've heard about jobs this and jobs that and we've got to do something ant the economy. i cannot point

another look from inside tony stewart's car, stewart bumped him from behind, sending vickers into trouble.'s drought continues, including a blown engine leading into the garage, finishing in 41st. vickers gets payback today, rear ending stewart, sending had him into the wall. look how stewart ended up, his backside elevated on tires. that was getting even. another look, vickers let's stewart pass him before the turn, only to plow into him from behind. stewart, who held the lead at one point, finished 39th. didn't matter today. kurt busch dominated, leading 76 of 110 laps. his 22 car easily takes the flag by 4 seconds over jeff gordon. busch's first-ever win on a road course. first year for busch this year. he says gordon came to victory circle to congratulate him, although he still didn't foolings last year. carl edwards was third. ambrose ends up 5th this year. >> for me, shut up and drive. i've done my talking. now it's time to do my driving. >> it gets stronger after five or six laps of running, and that's not normally. normally cars start dropping off on pace. testament to my guys, al

and kyle busch and last year's winner at infineon tony stewart. and tony stewart, if you think he has softened, he asked about running in the heat, does it effect you and he said to the media, if you step away from the buffet family long enough and come out in the heat, you would know. >> i thought he was toned down until that. but we like the heat. >> thank you very much. >>> we are getting word right now of a shooting, it happened in the past few minutes in the south of market area, we are told several people have been wounded, near seventh and market streets. and we have a crew en route right now. we will have more tonight on this at 10:00 and 11:00. >>> all right, that's going to do it for us on this edition of eyewitness news. we will see you back here at 10:00 and 11:00, and your latest news, weather, sports, always on cbs-sf.com. see you soon. ,,,,,, ,,,,,, [ male announcer ] bring home a complete meal for your family. 10 pieces of the world's best chicken, 3 large sides and 6 biscuits. enough real food to feed a family of 4 or more for jus

2011, from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is skwraoufrplt we're back, baby! we've got a nice one tonight. jimmy fallon is going to be a guest on the program. i'm so excited. stephen colbert got his ice cream flavor. tonight with jim by we're going to -- with jimmy we're going town vail my new flavor. it's called awesome heath bar (bleep) all y'all dhip. yeah that's right. [laughter] i don't have ice cream. [laughter] we were off last week because we prefer not to work. [laughter] we decided to come back last week because they wouldn't pay us. [laughter] if we did not. kidding. work of passion this whole -- [laughter] um -- speaking of passion what is the first story hear about when you get back? joan of anchorage is back just in time to kill my post trump sadness disorder. >> sarah palin is raising new speculations about her intentions. >> after stealing the thunder at the annual rolling

. >>> tony stewart is currently 11th in the sprint cup seasons and hasn't won a race this season and former bad boy of racing continues to be one of racing's biggest stars. >> stewart, i don't know what is going on, and i would like to take this finger and jam it up his rear end i tell that you. >> with tony stewart, you know where you stand but just make sure you put winner in the same sentence. >> do you think you will win? >> i don't know, are you a rocket scientist? >> the bad boy is probably a good thing for marketing and your career, and can you get that far off the beaten path now or be careful? >> i think we kind of over the last three years shed that role and i think there are a couple of other survivors in the series that picked tup. you realize there are a lot more people that rely on what you do and every move that you make and everything that you say. and you learn to pick the battles a little more differently. >> stewart was the last driver, other than jimmie johnson, to win the nascar points title. overall, he has 11 championships to his resume. including 39 nascar vic

he remains one of racings biggest stars. >> stewart, i don't know what's going on. >> with tony stewarthere you can stand. you can call him arrogant, make sure you put winner in the same sentence. >> does this affect your chance of winning the 500? >> i don't know. >> there was a time when you were known as the bad boy of nascar, which was probably a good thing for your career. can you get that far off the beaten bath now or you do you have to be careful? >> over the last three years we shed that role and i think there's a couple other truck drivers that picked it up. >> there's a lot more people that rely on what you do and every move that you make and everything that you say. you learn to pick the battles a little more. > stewart was the last driver other than jimmy johnson to win the title. overall, he has 11 clips to his resume, including 39 nascar victories. >> how much do you look forward to coming here? >> i love coming out. i'm not much of a wine drinker, but a designated for people. love racing for people that have never been. you have to see it in person one time to understand

my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday like every year in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was getting. people are like this is a great day. it's been too long. i was like, yeah, exotic birds. you know what i mean? and then people are like wasn't friday amazing? i was like why? what happened friday? >> it is a history-making night with a vote that just happened a short time ago. new york becomes the 7th jurisdiction in america to recognize marriage for same sex couples. >> jon: that's a major civil rights victory. ( cheers and applause ) new york, finally, new york state's gay and lesbian community are free from the burden that was having to set foot in connecticut in order to get married. ( applause ) really? the nuptials are in stam forward?

we'll talk with comedian jon stewart a little later. first, we're honored to sit down with defense secretary robert gates, days before he leaves office, having served presidents bush and obama in his demanding job. mr. secretary, welcome back to "fox news sunday." >> thank you. >> chris: today marks the 90th day of u.s. involvement in libya, congressional critics say that means that the administration is now officially in violation of the war powers act. if congress cuts off funding, pulls us out of libya, what do you think are the consequences for u.s. national security and our standing in the world? >> well, we have been through this on a number of occasions. even since i've been secretary, where congress has threatened to cut off funding in iraq and on several occasions and so on. frankly, i think cutting off funding in the middle of a military operation when we have people engaged is always a mistake. by the same token, i would say that, you know, i was in the white house, and the nfc staff not long after the war powers act was pass

. >>> well, tony stewart and brian vickers put on a show in nascar. plus the phillies' roy halladay adds another ten-win season to his already impressive resume. your early morning sports headlines are straight ahead. >>> and the weather story of the week is going to be the incredible heat from texas to the desert southwest. your forecast is coming up. you're watching "early today." >>> very good morning to you. if you're just waking up, this is "early today." in sports, the l.a. dodgers rallied in the ninth against the angels, but it was a crushable play that stole the freeway series spotlight. here's nbc's mario solis with an early look at all your sports headlines. >> good morning. to say it's been a rough year for the l.a. dodgers would be an understatement. their owners frank and jamie mccourt are going through a nasty divorce. the league has taken over day-to-day operation of the team. and the dodgers have one of the worst records in baseball. but yesterday the boys in blue had a reason to smile. freeway series in los angeles, angels up 2-1 in t

with 23 laps to go, vickers, gets his revenge, bumps stewart. stewart ins up in the wall.e restart after the caution, kurt busch takes the lead and would cruise from there, takes the checkered flag. his first win of the year. jeff gordon first, carl -- jeff gordon second, carl edwards third. >> it's a special checkmarks to win here and accomplish. >> mike: now, with "cars 2" in theaters, we thought we would have a little fun, asking fans their favorite characters and catch phrases. >> welcome to nascar. >> "cars 2". i love nascar. like here. and then i also love spy movies, so wanted could combine the international racing and spies and take them around the world. >> if you were to describe yourself as a racecar, tow truck, what. >> astin martin, luxury and speed. >> i racecar because i like to drive fast. >> spy car because i'm sneaky and would make that mission possible. >> i believe would have to be a tow truck, mr. mater. >> fly, and cars usually don't fly. >> make a good tow truck because i'm strong and sturdy. >> if i had a catch phrase? lightning mcqueen has ka which

stewart get spwaos the back of vickers.way. lap 47 was the end for jr. he's not crazy about this race and doesn't feel any better about it this year. remember that thing about drivers settling their own differences. vickers gets an opportunity to get pay back. you can't go very much when you're on top of the wall. >> i probably had it coming because i dumped him earlier. but i dumped him because he was blocking. if anybody wants to block all year, that's how i'm going to deal with it. so they can block all they want. >> and that's what he felt like it was, you know he showed his dose and he reaped them. >>> and stewart didn't run very long this way he ended up 39th. vickers was 36. >>> meanwhile busch ran away with the race. he led 75 of the 110 laps. he beat gordon by five seconds. a number of firsts for busch. first of the year, first of the race. he was happy with his crew's decision to make just two gas stops. >> it was old school on how we were going to make it on two stops. it was great calculations by the guys. >> re

my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, dr. cameron diaz. that will make sense later on in the program. you will see. she has graciously agreed to perform a surgical procedure on... [laughter] on tonight's program. a quick word before we get going to the tourist community, to the visitors to this great land of ours. if you've been here eight months, you live here. you live here. you're not from venezuela. [cheering and applause] donde esta you're mine. seven years of spanish, all i remember. [laughter] donde esta. let's begin tonight perhaps in america, the land of opportunity, where the streets are paved with let's say cinnabuns. [laughter] and yet we are nation besieged with problems, problems we must solve. problem number one, our gooey, rat-infested cinnabun-paved streets. why did we do that? that was a dopey material to pave our streets with. [laughter] we're going to need common-sense solutions to our problems if we're not just going to win the future but make sure that everyone else loses it. [laughter] let's start with a simple probl

my name is jon stewart. big one tonight. oh, yeah, baby. that's right, jon stewart, host of "the daily show" in 2011. and yet i've been in the business for over 20 years, so there are other things that i've done that you could mention. [laughter] when i was younger. [cheering and applause] i feel like the audience tonight just looked me up on wikipedia. when they're asking me questions. you were in elmo palooza 2002. on the show tonight, trey parker and matt stone. no, no! you know what, matt stone and trey parker are on the show. that's right. it ends tonight. earlier this week, earlier this week whilst republican candidates sparred over who best could even slightly delay the inevitable decay of america into a gay, islamic califant, president obama fulfilled a campaign promise to return to the island of puerto rico, though like most new yorkers, i assumed it was the president's way of trying to avoid the traffic from sunday's puerto rican day parade. worst driving kay of the year, aside from obviously st. patrick's day and the gay pride pa