and your conversation between yourself and tony stewart what took place?l get a that in a minute. this was a solid run. we were top five all night. some guys cycled ahead of us. we were able to get back by them. all in all a great night to be in the top five and have restarts up front and lead some laps. you could just tell. green/white checkered, some guys are staying out and some are putting on two. there is rubber on the outside groove and cars sliding up with old tires. i don't know what the 14 was upset about. kenseth moved us up out of the way at the end. but it's a free for all. we got a top ten. but ten laps to go and the car didn't have a scratch on it now it's destroyed. >> what are you going to take away as you continue to build with this operation? >> just being able to work together through sequences of the race. and today we didn't have the best handling car but we worked with it in the top five and we hoped that the race would come to us. today it just didn't pan up. today was a great day to be in the top five, close the to the top ten. >> k

they call him the egyptian jon stewart. weekly show looks a lot like stewart's daily show where he's been a guest. >> we are not very much different. >> no. i think you look better in a suit, but other than that, i think we're the same. >> reporter: a former heart surgeon, he idolized stewart and started his own show in his laundry room. it went on to become the most widely watched show in the middle east. >> he says it like it is but with a lot of sense of humor. >> reporter: like his idol, yusef makes comedy out of political discontent, and there is plenty of that in egypt where nothing seems to work and democracy is struggling. he even mocks president moresy while insisting he's just a comedian. >> i don't take aim as the president, i take aim at the authority, because this is what sarcasm is all about. >> reporter: now he's at the center of a firestorm over free speech, facing charges of insulting the president and denigrating islam. and jon stewart has taken notice. >> making fun of the president's hats in less than fl

martha stewart celebrations, martha stewart pantry. probably both of those are okay.ll probably be able to run those. everything else they decided to change the name to everyday jcp. or jcp everyday. that was going to be martha design stuff. that's the stuff that's sitting in the warehouses that we're all going, hmm, will that still be sitting in the warehouses or will they be able to sell that after this lawsuit's over? >> i've got two questions. what is the worst case scenario for jcp? secondly, what do you think st most likely outcome for jcp? >> i think the worst case scenario is that about 15% of the product in the store, which is half of what the home business would have been, suddenly can't be sold and they have about 75 to 90 days to get stuff back in stock and they have to figure out some alternative place to sell this stuff at 25 cents on the dollar and get rid of it. that's the worst case scenario. the best case scenario at this stage, i think, is that martha celebrations, which is home paper products, which is already open in at least one store that i saw

martha stewart went on match.com as martha stewart? >> more to help her find a date on this april 29th, 2013. >> announcer: from nbc news, this is "today" with matt lauer and savannah guthrie from studio 1a. captions paid for by nbc-universal television

according to stewart, the population is thriving. at best, there are at least 250 breeding pairs in california. in san jose, brian flores, ktvu channel 2 news. >>> a woman in kansas said she came face to face with an escaped tiger at a circus last weekend. >> please remain seated. >> the tiger ran away from the circus ring on saturday and headed towards the ladies' bathroom. it happened just as a woman was was about to walk inside. the woman said the tiger came close enough to toucher. >> my first thought, i need to be calm, turn around, you will be fine. that's what i did. >> the tiger was only loose for a few minutes, surrounded by security and no one was hurt. >>> we're still following breaking news for you in concord. concord high school remains on lockdown. newschopper2 has just arrived over the location. these are some live pictures from the scene. once again, officials say a suspect in a fellly hit-and-run accident was seen -- felony hit- and-run accident was seen running toward the school after 11:00 a.m. following the hit-an

j-c penney and and macy's continue to fight over martha stewart. the retailers were back in court yesterday after a mediation effort apparently failed. the question is whether macy's has an exclusive right to sell certain martha stewart branded merchandise. martha stewart omnimedia struck a deal with j-c penney last year to sell its branded products. macy's says that deal is a breach of contract it has to sell martha stewart products exclusively. martha stewart omnimedia made the deal with j-c penney when now ousted ceo ron johnson was at the helm. no word yet on how johnson's departuure might impact the case. britain's "iron lady" has died. margaret thatcher, england's first female prime minister, died yesterday after a stroke. she was 87. politically formidable, and a strong proponent of free- markets, thatcher spent her career transforming britain's economy. she dubbed it "a culture of dependency" and set it on a course of far fewer government controls. if you could renovate fort knox to house all the gold in the world in a single vault, how big

my name is jon stewart. good program tonight. we've got a great one. our dweft tonight is an author and the facebook coo sheryl sandberg. she has a new look "lean in." the study of body language strategies. i'll be doing this. [ laughter ] meanwhile great news from washington. congress recently passed and president obama signed a continuing resolution to fund the government all the way through september. [cheers and applause] our government -- our government is no longer living month to month. we're now living six 340s to six months. [laughter] what is not to like about that? >> buried deep within the pages of that bill is a controversial piece of legislation that would keep the federal government from banning the sale of genetically modified foods. >> jon: what the -- wait -- what? who is responsible for that senator popping j. cornarms? [laughter] i want you guys to all be ready for this next one and let me apologize in advance. you know he is a retired kernel. [laughter] [cheers and applause] it's okay, i'll let myself out. it doesn't keep the feder

and that's martha stewart. l. and that's martha stewart. a stewart.wart. [ female announcer ] can a body wash go beyond basic cleansing? olay ultra moisture body wash can with more moisturizers than seven bottles of the leading body wash. with ultra moisture your body wash is anything but basic soft, smooth skin with olay. those spots are actually leftover food and detergent residue that can redeposit on your dishware during the rinse cycle. gross. jet-dry rinse agent helps wash them away so the only thing left behind is the shine. jet-dry rinses away residues for a sparkling shine. it's not for colds. it's not for pain. it's just for sleep. because sleep is a beautiful thing™. ♪ zzzquil™. the non-habit forming sleep-aid from the makers of nyquil®. ♪ but you know that there is nowhere that i'd rather be than with you here today ♪ ♪ hold me now >> that takes me back to high school. driving in my girlfriend kathy's chevy nova. >> wow. i don't know where this story is going to take you though. >> all right. let's find out. we all spend so much time glued

jcpenney can sell martha stewart's good under the label jcp every day.s of macy's and arthur stuart are higher. this is the best news for them. commodities just getting crushed today. oil and gold. today. let's get straight to the pits of this cme. you would have thought two of the most geo- political commodities would be benefiting from it. we saw that when cyprus was coming and confiscated basically a portion of some of the people that are, you know, have some savings in the banks, when that news broke that should have been a bullish catalyst for us. there was a lot of talk that cyprus would have to raise additional capital. they will sell more gold. other countries like spain and portugal will also take part in this. we are down at 1500 right about now. melissa: everyone taking a big wheel about where it officially entered bear market territory. we are well below that right now. talk to me about oriole as well. moving below the 200 day average. >> olio selling off. you start looking at some of the fundamentals of oil. we are pumping out about 7.18 mil

doors official ly open at 10:00 >>> fight over martha stewart rages on in court.nvestors keeping a very close eye on a pair of bay area companies after some so-so earnings reports after the bell. mary thompson, live at cnbc headquarters and she has all your details. good morning. >> reporter: good morning to you, jon. first a look at the futures. they are lower this morning, following tuesday's rebound. that, of course, came on the heels of monday's decline, the worst of the year for the dow. but the dow actually put through its best gain in seven weeks, 150 points. the nasdaq added 48, fiping at 3,264. gold prices have stabilized after the precious metal suffered its worst two-day decline in years over concerns on global growth. looking at the economic report, federal reserve reports on economic conditions around the country. it's also, of course, another big day for earnings. among those reporting before the bell, bank of america, pnc financial, american express and ebay will be reporting after the bell. an appeals court grants macy's request to temporarily bloc

we have a deal with martha stewart. going on and on, and now you have this restraining order. the other thing i wanted to show you was i saw kb homes was up 1%, take a look at toll brothers, up about 2%. it's worth noting that in addition to many stories that we have going on here, the home builders are jumping on those good housing starts. liz: okay, thank you very much. once again, we're keeping our eye on all of this, but also the markets. we've got the markets up 147 points for the dow jones industrials. the nasdaq up 45, but it's the russell 2000 that has the biggest percentage gain, folkings. the small and the mid caps are up 1.5%. if i have a dime for everybody over the last seven years who said that the russell was going to fall and finally the bull market in the russell was over -- you know the answer to that. again, russell continues to move higher. let's get to goldman sachs. this morning they joined the ranks of big financials reporting strong earnings for the quarter, but matt mccormack says don't be fooled

it's martha stewart. >> so hard getting past. >> martha stewart.to. it is martha stewart. like when you went on your first date with annabelle, she was like, who is this guy? >> it's john muller. not at all. matter of fact. not at all. annabelle, who this guy? >> it's john muller. nó'jall. >> we'll be right back. ♪ ain't no mountain knew knew high enough ♪ ♪ nothing can keep me keep me from you ♪ >> this is a strange one. clash of cultures at the top of the world. almost cost the lives of european adventurers. >> they were making the treacherous climb to the summit of mt. everest when they were set upon by nearly 100 sherpa guides. here's abc's john donvan with more. >> reporter: for 60 years it has been a peak place for firsts, first man to reach the summit. first woman. first american. and now this weekend, first big ugly brawl up there, somewhere, at roughly 4 1/2 mild up in the sky. three climbers were beaten up, they say, by a group of sherpas, the mountaineering masters from that area who specialize in guiding climbers safely up and back agai

my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. our guest tonight, if i may tell, i think you are going to enjoy it. our guest tonight is ken burns documentarina. and by that i mean a person who only eats documentaries. [ laughter ] strict document arian. big news out of washington on the gun control front. >> the first big bipartisan breakwillthrough on gun legisla. >> breakthrough this morning on gun control. >> jon: it's oh, my god -- they finally invented a gun that kills other guns. [ laughter ] and won't fire if you are crazy. can't they do that? can't they invent a gun that doesn't fire if you are crazy? [laughter] it was a bipartisan gun control proposal. i'm being about to show you something. these two senators manchin of west virginia, toomey of pennsylvania represent different parties and they are going to stand together on television within striking distance of each other and yet they will not fight. let's hear what they have to say. >> back home where i come from we have common sense, nonsense and now we have gunsense.

jcpenney bracing for bad news with martha stewart. melissa: buying 200 foreclosed home, a small business owner fighting to save his hometown. lori: tornado season roaring into action. which areas are at risk in the coming days. melissa: look at metals as we head to break. talked about gold, and sandra smith says it was a rough session, and copper is moving higher. we'll be right back. ♪ are you still sleeping? just wanted to check and make sure that we were on schedule. the first technology of its kind... mom and dad, i have great news. is now providing answers families need. siemens. answers. you will lose 3 sets of keys 4 cell phones 7 socks and 6 weeks of sleep but one thing you don't want to lose is any more teeth. if you wear a partial, you are almost twice as likely to lose your supporting teeth. new poligrip and polident for partials 'seal and protect' helps minimize stress, which may damage supporting teeth, by stabilizing your partial. and 'clean and protect' kills odor-causing bacteria. care for your partial. help protect yo

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>> just great on: it's jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) very nice. i have a quick question for you. >> yes jon: when you were four years old and your family were taken from your home and placed in an interment camp for japannese-americans, at the time did that seem like the right and proper thing to do? >> no. it did not. >> jon: okay. thanks a lot, george. >> any time, jon jon: all right. that's what i thought. ( cheers and applause ) see, think about a moral compass. if you take it out and shake it from time to time you don't have to wait for history to tell you you're facing the wrong direction. we'll be right >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, oh, we love him. coming to netflix this summer he's brought his office character back on his new youtube channel. >> let me take you down a quality street. ♪ ♪ you never know the people you meet ♪ ♪ at the end of the street is a golden gate ♪ ♪ don't let them hate no. ♪ walking down the street ♪ ♪ do unto others and life is sweet ♪ ♪ just look right in ♪ you're judged by your words not the color of you

3- pointer and is fouled uconn up 19 at halftime 2nd half stewart gets the offensive rebound and put back she had a game-high 23 points and 8 rebounds gino auriemma hugs stewart his 8th national championship ties him withtime final: 93-60 tiger woods. and he has never had victory at the memasters with a goatee. it takes a long time for this to grow. it takes a long time. what was the next part of the question? >> gary: the media is ready and they just love them. >> jacqueline: and they love and they just love them. >> jacqueline: and they love them. you're on timeout leo! ♪ ♪ and they just love them. >> jacqueline: and they love them. some things won't last 25 years. ah! woof. some things will. save up to 20% on an ikea kitchen. lets you go from working hard... to hardly working. ♪ big sales that help you get away. that's how we fly. act fast! these are the final days to grab flights all over the country as low as $59 one-way. hurry and book now, only at southwest.com. we are southwest. welcome aboard. we are southwest. you're o♪ ♪meout leo! some things won't last 25 years.

>> just great on: it's jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) very nice. i have a quick question for you. >> yes jon: when you were four years old and your family were taken from your home and placed in an interment camp for japannese-americans, at the time did that seem like the right and proper thing to do? >> no. it did not. >> jon: okay. thanks a lot, george. >> any time, jon jon: all right. that's what i thought. ( cheers and applause ) see, think about a moral compass. if you take it out and shake it from time to time you don't have to wait for history to tell you you're facing the wrong direction. [ birds chirping ] [ inhales, exhales ] [ announcer ] cigarettes are not just dangerous when they're smoked. [ rat squeaking ] they're dangerous long after. cigarette butts are toxic. they release chemicals that poison our water... and harm wildlife. and millions... are polluting our environment. [ sniffing ] [ seagulls squawking ] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, oh, we love him. coming to netflix this summer he's brought his office character back

he's watching the daily show with jon stewart for eight years.ally in love with the show. >> comedian, tv host, rider and average lover. this is a job application, i want to be one of his correspondents. if this is my dream job, i have nothing to lose. he got up his courage, got friends together and put together this video to post on youtube. >> so, jon, here are four reasons to hire me. reason number one, i know politics, i know languages. i speak seven of them, look, a random german guy, [ speaking foreign language ] >> how hot is that? he speaks sev is speaking german, i think, right now. >> please. french is not one of those languages. reason number two -- >> this is my favorite moment. >> to show support, 100 ninjas came to the filming of this video. ♪ >> reason number three, if you hired me, your audience will increase by five -- >> i watch the daily show every night. i think this guy would be a perfect fit. >> we have evan via skype "right this minute" from croatia. welcome to the show. >> thanks, guys. this is so awesome. i can't believe

macy says it signed stewart to a exclusive contract however, in 2011 jjc pennies announced a plan to open martha stewart boutique autos all right fans start snapping up tickets today. >> this is not too late to >>> coming up at 6:00 a new kind of knock and rob burglaros some could be connected. also the high concentration of tow back yes sales wile weel take a look at a controversial solution one group has come up with. and all new exploratorium opens next week. we'll have that and more coming up at 6:00. >> thank you so much. >> and oh, my goodness goitsing to cost you a penny to see them. >> tickets for the stones tour went on sale this morning they're still available just this hour we found a full priced ticket for $635 but there is one going for $473 for the show in san jose. there are tickets that are keeper but their gone. >> it's only rock and roll, right? >> but i like it. >> so do i. >> cute, nicely done. >> world news is coming up next, i'm shairld jengs. >> from all of us here, thanks for watching. >>> this is "world news." tonight, urgent plea. the president goes all out

news hardly touches it and that's why we end up with co-parent stewart filling the gap it should be the subject of a raging debate you know in other countries they experience the u.s. war on terror as a u.s. war of terror kidnappings drone strikes killing of civilians night raids but we don't have that kind of debate thank god we have a couple comedians brave enough to talk about it on primetime t.v. ok so heading back to that mainstream media and they're taking their cues from do you think that the media obeys the presidential administrations specifically framing the issue and they seem to even adopt their vocabulary and if you think they do it just how are they doing it there's there's no doubt that they have their vocabulary but it's it's especially in the case when the leaders of both the democrats on the republican side agree on the big military budgets agree on the invasion of iraq when the leaders of the two parties don't agree well then the mainstream media feels free to say wow that is an issue that's why we have debates about gay marriage we have debates about gun control we h

. >> still head at 4:00 unusual diplomatic indiaccident involving jon stewart and egypt's government. >> a driver did this at a store just months ago y wasn't he kept in jail? >> and rutgers fires its basketball coach after video shows him abusing player autos also, tax hot line open right mine was earned in djibouti, africa, 2004. the battle of bataan, 1942. [ all ] fort benning, georgia, in 1999. [ male announcer ] usaa auto insurance is often handed down from generation to generation because it offers a superior level of protection and because usaa's commitment to serve the military, veterans, and their families is without equal. begin your legacy. get an auto-insurance quote. usaa. we know what it means to serve. >>> questions being raised by why the man accused of ramming his car into a walmart was out on bail after a similar incident in december. >> he is facing several charges including hit and run and being under the influence of drugs. that crash left four people injured. abc 7 news is live in san jose along with some new video of that crash scene. david? >> you can see that

every day brand, not the martha stewart brand, but they're made by her.hese on store shelves by mother's day. everyone needs the picture. they had already started to sell non branded home goods. tells unseats and pots and pans designed by martha stewart on its website which macy's argued totally violated its exclusive agreement with the brand that it had in advance of j.c. penney's. but after tuesday the mark this tourist -- after today's the martha stewart's products were polled. they ask for restraining order. requested to temporarily block what is on your screen to the right, the acrylic pitcher for $12 everything else. they don't want them selling them on branded goods. less-expensive and made by my the steward. products were pulled from the cells sitting in regional distribution centers in storage rooms on these points on your screen here all over the southern area of the net states. j.c. penney, nationwide, already in a severe cash crunch after a botched turnaround plan spearheaded by its recently ousted ceo, ron johnson, who was all excited to make

stewart goes to washington. he was standing up there and coming out with his hard and he was really talking to people there and the only question is, does mitch mcconnell care what the hell he says? he makes it 14 who say no vote. there will be no vote on background checks, nothing, in. nada will come out of what happened in newtown. >> zero. >> and this stonewalling by -- against a 90% belief makes you wonder how the constitution holds sometimes. how can you hold a system together that's based on straight arming 90% of the court

glen stewart scaled the wall of the 20-story building at 7:00 this morning. there he is. looks like spider-man. >> there you go. >> placed lightweight aluminum bands on the birds. by the size of their legs, he determined all three are boys. the bands will allow sign tsts to track and collect data. this video from the city's falcon cam. stewart says just a few decades ago, these birds were almost extinct. >> we're desperately trying to bring the birds back and keep them from going extinct. they went extinct east of the mississippi river. it was only through releases and recovery work we brought them back. >> so yeah, it's pretty neat to sit up there on the ledge with them. >> stewart says there are 25 to 300 pairs of peregrine falcons in california. that's up from two pairs 30 to 40 years ago. >> i've got to admit i'm a big fan of falcon cam. >> it's neat. >> christina is off and anthony is here. >> good to be with you guys. >> windy out there. >> very windy. kind of where i was headed with this. nice little segue here. you could do the weather this morning. we are talking

. >>> macy's and jcpenney's back in court today after the martha stewart line fight. courtney reagan has the latest outside the courthouse. hey. >> that's right, scott. here we go again. the parties haven't seen each other in a public setting in over a month. as soon as they got back together and the judge walked in macy's had strong accusations for jcpenney saying that they are already in violation of the injunction that prevents jcpenney from putting any martha stewart products, branded or unbranded, in the categories in question on the shelves or online. jcpenney says they are not in violation with these products, which include things like plastic disposable pitchers and champagne flutes. the judge says all parties need to discuss it with their clients. he will make a decision if he has to but hopefully they can decide what they need to do without him intervening in that way. a month ago when the judge dismissed the parties into mediation he did thank both martha stewart and macy's for having a discussion on the telephone. and that was a t pretty big step because t

. >>> this one turn into the briana stewart show.e and then driving to the hoop with a pair inside. stewart went for 29 as uconn rolled to the win with a team it had lost to three times this season. louisville and uconn meet on tuesday. >>> they raised the banner on friday and got their championship rings today. st.louis cardinals did their best to remind them that none of that matters in 2013. >>> a moving pregame ceremony did see the jazz get a chance to do this for the second time in three years. a win would have made the day complete. giants jumped to a 2-0 lead until things went really bad in the fourth. they suddenly figured him out. then with the bases loaded matt adams won at the deepest part of the at&t park. the fact that was a ground rule double saved the giants temporarily. the bases loaded again. and matt carpenter drove in the single. that hasn't happened to a giant's pitcher since 1902. mahare replaced court instructs -- replaced cane. there was 9-2 st. louis makes it two out of three and the giants celebratory weekend

martha stewart shop in time for mother's day as previously planned.l, as we get closer and closer to mother's day. >> it amazing how much we're learning about the intricacys of this deal from start to finish. thank you so much. courtney reagan in manhattan. >>> take a closer look at the markets as we get ready for the official start of the earnings season. alcoa reports after the bell tonight. the chief investment strategist for wisdom tree investments and chris meyer with loop capital markets. guys, good morning to you both. >> good morning, carl. >> start with you. we always end up here t in the spring, things start to deteriora deteriorate. you can never count on alcoa. they're a volatile player at best. what's your thinking going into earning season? >> well, i think the key thing to focus on issing ing aggregat dividend growth. i think the u.s. market will be okay. we're seeing about $320 billion in aggregate dividends being paid in the usa and dividends year over year. that's one of the things that gives us comfort. every individual company coul

and jon stewart points out that republicans have been champions for voting rights of african-americans. as long as you don't look at the last 15 years. this is hardball. the place for politics. blast of cold feels nice. why don't you use bengay zero degrees? it's the one you store in the freezer. same medicated pain reliever used by physical therapists. that's chilly! [ male announcer ] bengay zero degrees. freeze and move on. [ male announcer ] bengay zero degrees. for over 75 years people ...with geico... ohhh...sorry!. director's voice: here we go. from the top. and action for over 75 years people have saved money with gecko so.... director's voice: cut it! ...what...what did i say? gecko? i said gecko? aw... for over 75 year...(laughs. but still trying to keep it contained) director's voice: keep it together. i'm good. i'm good. for over 75...(uncontrollable lahtuger). what are you doing there? stop making me laugh. vo: geico. saving people money for over seventy-five years. gecko: don't look at me. don't look at me. by the armful? by the barrelful? the carful? how about...by the b

moment also booze and bottoming out a lot more in common than you think we'll talk with a botanist any stewart about the garden of being greedy and that make up your favorite drinks and if we want to stop terrorism we have to clamp down on unregulated gun purchases tell you why that's deeply to. just go. into the good the bad in the very very rhinos seriously ugly there are good advisers the organization credited with starting the occupy movement has announced a new campaign this week adbusters posted a message on its website encouraging like minded activists to gather at any one of goldman sachs's seventy three world wide offices and engage in a new indefinite real time live action game group hopes to use its trademark radical political theater to shut down goldman's offices and operations a year and a half after new york police raided occupy wall streets is a comedy park camp large financial institutions like goldman sachs still dominate our economy to help out search for the hashtag goldman on twitter the bad. brewer late last week assistant attorney general brewer announced that he was lea

stewart, as your boss, you should know this is an extremely roundabout way to get more vacation time.

my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. the fine program. my guest michael moss he is the author of "salt sugar fat", the "eat pray love" of diabetes enthusiasts. we'll talk about the republican party. with a difficult election loss behind them there's a time of reflection and soul searching for the g.o.p. we'll let you know if they find one! oh, oh, who wants a piece of this? [cheers and applause] who wants a piece of this? [cheers and applause] [laughter] i kid, of course. really? all right. [ laughter ] last week the republican national committee released its report on what went wrong in the 2012 election and how the republican party can reverse its fortunes in the future. >> officials are calling it an autopsy. >> that's right. they are calling it an autopsy. [ laughter ] >> jon: it is a document of idealistic named for bodies in the river. what do you say we rub a little cancer under our noses and get to the business of cutting this bloated corpse open. we know the time of death. rncrince preebous what is the cause of death? >> the mess

jon stewart going after cnn over its terror bomb coverage.t report moments away. >> bill: back ever the book segment tonight, our pal jon stewart really pounding cnn over its terror bombing coverage. >> while all the other networks chose to have what you call it their anchor in the studio that kept the chaotic coverage from going to drift. cnn went with more of your san lock football. [ laughter ] everyone go long. forcing their reporters to let the control room open for on camera pass. >> guys, you got to come to us. listen, okay. >> a huge caravan. jake, jake, john. >> estimated coverage just kept coming. >> a couple of cars are now beginning to move. >> got cars going straight. cars peeling to the right. a number of the vehicles just pulled out. we hear one of the canine dogs barking. interesting, that dog is barking. we can smell -- something in the air. >> that's at least the third canine dog that began barking. barking very very loudly. they may be smelling what we smelled. [ laughter ] >> let me tell you something about canine dogs. [

stewart, as your boss, you should know this is an extremely roundabout way to get more vacation time.laughter] anyway, congratulations to all the nuricks. enjoy getting to know your new son with this gift basket of delicious copies of my latest book, "america again." and to celebrate this occasion, you're getting them at a 20% employee discount.

my name is jon stewart. we have one for you tonight. very, very, very pleasing show. former president jimmy carter is joining us in what i assume is a late night comedy first. we're going to be talking about guinea worms. they are like the gummy worm that eats you. [ laughter ] comedy gold! [laughter] lately, if you've been watching the television or reading the newspapers, you may have noticed the federal government thanks to dead lock in inertia and what many analysts are calling fatheadedness is not really doing anything when it comes to governing, yeah governing. [ laughter ] but the states are picking up the slack. yes, the meth laboratories of democracy are hard at work tackling all of our nation's most important and pressing issues as we see in our state laws round-up. [cheers and applause] oh, yeah! let's put up the big board! [laughter] let's do it. [ laughter. laugh. [cheers and applause] yes, virginia and sodomy because v.a. is for lovers of missionary position. [laughter] >> the republican nominee for governor in virginia has come out against oral sex and

my name is jon stewart. your guest tonight the great filmmaker mr. danny boyle is joining us later. by now we've seen the video of now former rutgers basketball coach mike rice hitting, kick, throwing balls at generally great santini-ing his college basketball players. (bleep) (bleep) hands in everybody, let's win one for the university go. scarlet knights. clear eyes full hearts you (bleep) fairies. i feel confident that no reasonable person could watch that video and quibble with the firing of the coach. >> it's interesting we only pay attention to these conflagrations when it comes to hate speech. if the left wing media makes a fuss over the incidents. >> talk about the wuss-ification of america, of american men. >> maybe we need a little more discipline in society. my father hit me with a belt. i turned out okay. [ laughter ] >> jon: anyway, coming up next, i shout at people i disagree with for an hour. seriously you're okay? have you seen your show? [laughter] because it seems like the show of a guy who was hit with a belt as a child. [laughter] by the way, it's going to be so

martha stewart went on match.com as martha stewart? >> more to help her find a date on this april 29th, 2013. >> announcer: from nbc news, this is "today" with matt lauer and savannah guthrie from studio 1a. captions paid for by nbc-universal television >>> a pretty picture on a monday morning. we welcome you to "today" on this monday morning. i'm matt lauer. >> i'm savannah guthrie. >>> right to the developments of the attack in the boston mayor a. new scrutiny of the suspect's mother. >> you'll remember that she has defended her sons from the very start and this morning, we learn that she too has been part of investigations in her own country. national correspondent jeff rossen is here with more on this. >>> this morning a source briefed on the case tells nbc news russian authorities say they caught the mother and the older brother. the older suspect on a wiretap discussing jihad. this as the younger suspect starts his first week behind bars. dzhokhar tsarnaev is waking up in a federal inmate with medical needs. he's in a small cell

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. >>> martha stewart is making a move on line.love connection on match.com. that's straight ahead. #%tia[ with so much competition, finding the right job is never easy. but with the nation's largest alumni network, including those in key hiring positions, university of phoenix can help connect you to a world of opportunity. >>> you may not think martha stewart is the type to look for love on match.com, but she said she's looking for mr. right again and why not be adventurous? alison kosik is joining us now inom new york with some really really? she went on match.com? is that what you're saying? >> that's exactly what she did. wolf, think about it, just because you're a celebrity doesn't mean it is easy to find love. martha says many people she knows have had luck meeting people online, just now she wants in on the action. she got all this stuff off her chest when she talked to matt laure on lauer on "today" yesterday. listen to the characteristics she's looking for in a guy. >> youngish. >> youngish meaning -- >> youngish, active.