. >> who do i have to sleep with around here for a stoli martini with a twist of lemon?n. you've got to be kidding me. you've got to be kidding me. [ applause ] >> judi dench, "philomena." >> i want you to know, that i forgive you. >> what? just like that? >> not just like that. that's hard. that's hard for me. but i don't want to hate people. i don't want to be like you. >> meryl streep, "august: osage county." >> you want to show who is stronger? nobody's stronger than me. damn it, when nothing is left, everything is gone, disappears, i'll be here. who is stubborn now, you son of a bitch? [ applause ] >> and the oscar goes to -- cate blanchett. [ applause ] ♪ >> sit down. you're too old to be standing. thank you, mr. day-lewis. from you, it blows it right out of the ballpark. thank you so much, to the academy. as random and as subjective as this award is, it means a great deal. in a year of extraordinary, yet again, extraordinary performances by women. amy adams, everything you do. but your performance in "american hustle" blew my mind. and, meryl, what can i say? sand

cruc regifted country may to ukraine, after a high-level summit between his liver and a bottle of stoli. at the time of the ussr's collapse the ukraine had the third largest nuclear stockpile in the world, but surrendered it in a diplomatic agreement called the "budapest memorandum," later adapted into a whimsical film by wes anderson. ( laughter ) in the agreement, ukraine gave up its nukes, and in exchange, russia promised never to use "threats or use of force against the territorial integrity or political independence of ukraine." tragically it appears ukrainian diplomats forgot to call "no backsies." so what does russia's latest crimean cri-mean? it means i get to run one of my favorite graphics. this is cold war update. ( cheers and applause ) >> nation if you watch this show, you know i never thought the cold war ended. it's why i still wear a shoe phone and a shoe answering machine. hello? what? i can't talk right now. just leave a message with my other foot. folks, that is why you do hot yoga. ( cheers and applause ). but folks i'm worried that obama may be in way over his head