should she be suzy wong, submissive asian love slave?? [ cheers and applause ] guess which one we picked, y'all! [ applause ] confucius say, "wise guy round-eye no should be afraid to trade in his home fries for a nice bowl of steamed..." what, lyris? [ strumming guitar ] ♪ rice, rice baby ♪ ♪ rice, rice baby ♪ ♪ okay, you wanna steam my dumpling? ♪ ♪ slanty mama gonna make your roll spring ♪ ♪ hi, mr. round-eye white guy ♪ ♪ how you like my straight hair ♪ ♪ and slanty eyes? straight hair ♪ ♪ even straight hair down there ♪ ♪ if you look in my hello kitty underwear ♪ ♪ call me, i'll set you straight ♪ ♪ when you take me on a racially mixed date ♪ ♪ rice, what the honky brothers call me ♪ ♪ spice, garlic, ginger, but no msg ♪ ♪ and if a playa wanna kick some asian game ♪ ♪ i say whatcha think, all asian hoochie look the same? ♪ ♪ perhaps your chink's a nip or a hawaiian ♪ ♪ those japs might be gooks made in taiwan ♪ ♪ order by number ♪ ♪ till you get it straight ♪ ♪ till you're ready for this dish on your hot plate ♪ ♪ rice, rice baby ♪