svetlana nazoeva. hello, svetlana. hello. i know that you are a personal psychologist for many top managers, largest companies, rich, successful people. and the first question that comes to mind is to ask you, is it true that the rich cry too, but the topic of the program is completely different, it is more interesting, deeper, it is the psychology of poverty and wealth, what distinguishes poor people from rich people, what distinguishes them way of thinking, why some manage to get out of poverty, never to others, well, the most important question, that’s just what they call a primer, just to distinguish a rich person from a poor person by image and... yes, of course, yes, poor person, i myself come from a very poor family, yes, and i went to a certain financial state, through various difficulties, and what kind of difficulties are these, this is the first limitation in everything , food, clothing, transport, travel, and if you look at a person who does not have such an opportunity, let’s say, a poor person, yes, he does not have in essence, the choice is very limited, these are the limiting stories, yes a person is prevented from moving forward, that is, these are certain attitudes in the head, are they your own, or are these the attitudes of the existence around you, the surrounding existence, where we were born , to what extent existence is determined by consciousness, that is , it turns out, well, is it important or not, important, yes, so i was born into a poor family, my grandmother was poor, my mother was poor, there wasn’t enough money for food, well, yes. so yes, i used laundry soap instead of shampoo, washed my hair, yes, for example, we ate eggs instead of, let’s say, abundance, because my mother the salary was given at work in eggs, you told yourself that i would never live like this again, i give myself the attitude that i want to live differently, that’s all it was, that’s when you started telling yourself this, i saw in my teenage years , when i saw that my friend, with whom i began to live, lives differently, i came to visit her , she ate, they had pies on the table with meat, with onions, with eggs, with apples, well, this is very detailed , at what age did you set yourself the goal that i don’t want to live like this anymore, probably starting at the age of 15, and what for this had to be done, the first thing i decided for myself was that i needed to go to study , if i couldn’t go to college, i wouldn’t be able to yes... great, that is, you, in fact, here i would like to talk a little about how, here you are as a clinical psychologist and as a consultant, yes, you could just say some criteria, this is what you for yourself, when talking with a person, let’s say they are dressed exactly the same, yes, they, they both have competent speech, they are sufficiently educated, so you can determine which of these people are mentally predisposed to success, well, i don’t like this word, to wealth, yes, well, let’s say, to making money for that. to lead a decent lifestyle, let’s say, there, well, above average, and in the country in which he lives, and a person who, in principle , will live like this at the level at which he is now will never take a step up, i want. here to tell a story, today i was driving here by taxi, and the taxi driver was a very amazing person, yes, who worked in large companies, and his income was more than 20 million rubles a month, and he drives me like a taxi driver, you know, yes, and i say , i start talking to him, or rather , he overheard how my assistant and i discussed certain issues, entered into our dialogue, and he talks about that that everything has collapsed and i can’t go any further. and in the process of the dialogue, i understand that he giggles a little, the way of life, oh, the way of thinking, i still want to bring him to this, to the fact that he begins to devalue what i say, when we begin to devalue, we let's stop to hear, that is, in fact, a person claims that the way i live suits me for some reason, and beyond my control, i can’t do anything, which means that what is beyond this threshold of my... perception and my existence, this is all wrong, and lack of interest, that is, in fact, the criterion of poverty is the fact that you accept this poverty as such, you begin to blame everyone around you, that you are poor precisely because circumstances have developed in such a way that you have something it didn’t work out and so on and so forth, but the main thing is that the way they live, and somewhere out there they are these bokachi, well, they cry there too, they have their own problems, they feel bad there, but i feel so good, but it’s like a secondary benefit, you to me. it’s beneficial for me, i don’t want to be bad, like these bad, rich people, it’s convenient for him to be poor, if this is your practice, the concept that it’s convenient for people to be poor, but look how it’s expressed, here we have all the cartoons, fairy tales, what a rich person is a bad person, a rich person is an evil person, and unconsciously i don’t realize, yes, i don’t want to be rich, because that i don't want to be bad, because... it's bad and evil, do you want to be bad? no, no, we all want to be good , we want to be loved, you know, but the rich have nothing to love, but the poor, he’s poor, unhappy, so good, you know, he feels sorry for himself, naturally, that is, it turns out like this a vicious circle, i feel sorry for myself because nothing worked out for me , but that’s good, because i’m good, everyone around me is good too, they’re bad and i don’t want to go there, how to break, break, risk being bad, you know, this is the formulation, a good thesis, a very, disgustingly rich man, he is disgusting, you understand why, for whom, disgusting is an adjective, who, who is his, for whom for another poor person, yes, well again, such here we have a generally accepted formulation in social networks: poor rich, just envy, no, when you say that another person is disgustingly rich, this is your latent envy, that is...' you express your attitude in such adjectives to this, that is, in fact it is necessary fight envy, no, don't fight envy you need to fight, yes, envy has, but there are two, like a coin, yes, two sides, there is constructive envy, yes there is destructive, constructive, i also want that, how can i make it so that i have it, and go learn from this person , whom i envy, adopt some of his actions , yes, which he performs, to what extent... this is the approach people have, that their constructive envy develops into a need into a desire motivates a person to change himself, unfortunately, it is very difficult for a person to come to take control of feelings, and envy - this feeling, it is a strong feeling, it can capture you so that you go into effect , you cannot cope with this feeling, there is another story, yes, when we learn self-regulation, mental processes, when we can take control of feelings, this is to stop, slow down, understand what is happening to me now , i envy, great, then say envy, i’m glad to see you, you just stay here for now, i’ll figure it out, be happy about this feeling, because feeling is an indicator of where i should go, here imagine this situation, yes, you came to the theater, you like the ballerina who dances or the singer who sings, you have energy inside you, those who sit in the front row in the stalls buy great, you like what kind of people they are, who they are, how they are bought this ticket, this is curiosity, yes , it prompts action on a question, on a task, here i turn on the negative part of this medal, i say, well , they are bad people, they are evil, they stole, they plundered the budget or something else like that, i say, well, thank god, but i don’t rich, i’m poor and i feel good, i’ll sit in row 115, no, the task is how to take this step here, i’m still trying... to understand, this is what should be an incentive, is a person able to cope with this on his own, or you need to find an example, an example, it is imperative to find an example, yes, that, how to move from this composition, naturally, we have many people who have evolved from a poor state and who have made a great contribution to the development of man, all the examples that i will give, i understand correctly, that the example should be native and close from the next door, preferably from a neighboring apartment, that is, we can take an example, we can see, look at the biography of a person, how he came to this, well, the example of mikhail vasilyevich lomanosov is not very motivating, yes, not everyone comes from arkhanelsk on foot with a fish train , found universities, that is , at least approximately... there are some criteria, maybe more than one, how do the ways of thinking of rich people differ from the way of thinking of poor people? a person who has reached certain heights, if you ask how he lived, he lived in a state oppression, you know, it’s always uh, there was some kind of flawed state, at this moment you want, as if to win the trust of other people through education or something else, you know? lives in poverty now, they also have the same limitation on resources, on opportunities , they don’t go on vacation there, they never have such an opportunity, they don’t have enough money even until the next salary, and yet some of them take steps out of this state , others are not, they are also in these cramped positions, what should be in thinking that should you, i’ll introduce this to what, that there is some kind of skill that maybe can be trained or is it innate, but it can be trained, yes, but this is always a question, you know, how such observation, when i'm... interested in everything that's around me, when i'm not sitting, not lying on the couch at home, not watching tv, and when i'm interested, well, not on the couch is also interesting, yes, that's a fact, but watching tv, yes, if you are traveling, if you go to a museum, listen to music, there is nothing to travel for, why i’ll start with myself, yes, i didn’t have the opportunity to go to a psychologist, but it was very important for me, and i found a hot, free hotline, yes, where i could consult just about psychology, it’s a question of searching, what question did you ask , when they called the hotline, can i talk, i feel very bad, and how old were you, i was 20, 24 years old, well, you have already taken some steps from that small town where i was born, you know, it is very important who the enlightened people are, yes, that ’s where it came from, this name, this word, yes, this is when people left small villages... they returned to another village, they were enlightened, they went somewhere, learned something, came with new information. svetlanas, top managers, rich people who everyone hears about, whom you advise, uh, let’s start with a simple one, here’s the opposite question, yes, if such people have a fear of poverty, a fear of going back, and what to do about it? always, i'm with i always encounter this... a person comes to me, yes, especially at, uh, i would say , a startup, yeah, yes, when he already more or less has some money, and continues to develop, yes, and he comes and says, i’m afraid to go back, i’m afraid to slide down there, what’s happening, fear is a feeling, why is this happening, svetlana, well, because the person had the experience of being poor, suddenly he had money, he’s afraid of losing, yes, what i advise, i work in the field of self-regulation, i have already said that we are testing this world with the help of feelings and emotions, yes, i recommend sorting out this feeling , this fear, what it is, a fantasy, a fantasy about past experience, which i rely on, because there is no new one, i fantasi
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