and the truth is, my years that swarthmore and you were absolutely the most miserable of my life. i would have happily traded those days for going back to the sweatshop with my mother. i felt so out of place, so ostracized, so incredibly ashamed of my background. my first day at swarthmore, i came upon a few white girls just hanging out in the cafeteria and they were talking and i wanted to fit in. they were talking about writing. so i sat down and i was like, huh? i never learned to ride a bike. and they were like, we're talking about horses. and i was like, oh, think about riding horses and think people did that. and i'm like, oh, that's funny. i don't know how to ride those either. and they just stare at me and then i start listing things. i didn't know how to do because i wanted to. i thought, like, vulnerability, you know being me would pull in. so i was like, i don't know how to swim, you know, i still know how to drive. and they just look at me, they're like, do you not have a childhood or something? like what? this look of disgust. and they just walked. and from day on i k