this amendment to the law, now if you're a michigan christian teenager caught giving a gay kid a swirlie, you can say it's a baptism. [ laughter ] after all, if you read the bible, you know jesus was a bully. he threw the money lenders from the temple-- because they were the mathletes! look at him at the cafeteria. hanging out at the cool kids table. "no, there's only room for these twelve guys, go sit somewhere else,you pharisees." [ laughter ] even though clearly there's tons of space on the other side of the table! by the way, christian teens don't have to restrict their righteous bullying to gays. according to leviticus they should also torment their classmates who have tattoos, wear "clothing woven of two kinds of material" or are girls in their time of menstrual impurity. and don't just bully those girls, bully anyone who touches them, for they are unclean. and remain unclean until the girl gives the principal two turtles or two young pigeons to be sacrificed. [ laughter ] obviously we're talking about christians here. we can't have hindus, jews and muslims bullying us about having

>> these are tipsy swirly glasses, which are kind of fun, but they might freak you out. these glasses will not tip over, they have this little extra ball. this would be interesting table conversation. >> look at that, wow. >> and you were drinking these, they are not hourglasses, they're actually ten-minute glasses that have the sand go through. >> so you can time your drinking. or like college kids, play some drinking games. but i didn't say that. uncommon goods. and this is a cool way to turn your wine glasses into little mini lamps for the table. >> that's cute. >> this is important, we have a big "dateline" special coming up. it's on sunday night. you know when you love to see those animal videos, on sunday, 7:00, 6:00 central, there's a 3-year-old little boy who tumbled into a gorilla pit and he was saved by a mother, but not the mom you think. take a look. >> oh, my god. >> they're like, the gorilla has the boy, the gorilla has the boy. and all i saw was all of them coming towards the child. a bunch of the people from the zoo started coming into the exhibit. they s