to paraphrase t.s. eliot, this is the way the world ends-- not with a bang but with a nephew. sheldon, you're a grown man, he's a professional, and your haircut is number three on that poster from 1946. just sit down and let him do it. fine, but if i come out of this looking like a dork, it's on you. (clears throat) so my kid said the funniest thing today. nope. when you tell this story later, the word we usually use is "quirky." ♪ our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ ♪ then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... wait! ♪ ♪ the earth began to cool ♪ the autotrophs began to drool, neanderthals developed tools ♪ ♪ we built the wall ♪ we built the pyramids ♪ ♪ math, science, history, unraveling the mystery ♪ ♪ that all started with a big bang ♪ ♪ bang! ♪ [ female announcer ] introducing the windex touch-up cleaner. dab it... clean it... done. it's a one-handed clean from windex... ♪ ...that stays out to kill 99.9% of bacteria... ♪ ...and quickly clean so you keep moving. what do we call this new dance move? the windex tush-up. [ female announcer ] the all-new w