it was soon after that when diane turned on to the wrong side of the taconic parkway, spooking othervers. >> state police, 911. >> yeah, you have a guy driving south on northbound taconic parkway. >> reporter: they said that her minivan was moving at 85 miles an hour for two miles in to oncoming traffic, just missing other vehicles. >> he's going like a bat out of hell. >> before colliding with the suv. in the wreckage of the minivan, police find broken bottle of vodka. >> i couldn't believe it. my heart stopped again. and i was dumfounded. >> reporter: as all of these details begin to emerge, jackie's grief turned darker. >> i just was angry. i wish that it was just a regular car accident. it was killing me, the anger. i didn't know how to deal with it. >> reporter: not only anger at the accident, anger at herself. >> i'm their mom and supposed to protect them. and i didn't. it's just hard to not blame yourself. >> reporter: you expected diane to protect your kids? >> uh-huh. >> reporter: and now you are blaming yourself. >> i'm not blaming myself for the accident. i'm blaming mysel