i went full tanya harding on a shih tzu backstage. [ light laughter ] who's next? so freakin' cute.eastminister dog show rivalry, i killed the notorious p.u.g. [ laughter and applause ] bad dog. who do we have next? big old british bulldog. what did you do? i use a fake british accent to get laid. [ light laughter ] who's next? that's a sheep dog! i grew up with sheep dogs, they're my favorite, let's see. i keep my bangs long so no one can tell how stoned i am. [ light laughter ] who do we have next? a bloodhound. what dog show would be complete without a bloodhound? what did he do? i can sniff out where bombs are. i just choose not to. [ light laughter ] bad dog. who's next? all right, what did you do? bitch means female dog, but that's not how i use it, bitch. [ light laughter ] who's next? adorable. oh, my god, adorable. when a white dog pees on the rug, i called him a "lone wolf." but when a brown dog does it i called them a "terrorist." [ audience oohs ] what? makes you think. [ light laughter ] who's next? wait a minute, this is my dog frisbee. frisbee, what could you have don