tariq, you start it off. here we go. [ beeping ] can of whoop ass. >> can't really say it because it's complicated. it messes with your mouth. it's a -- >> tongue twister? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. he's a cartoon. it sells chicken. >> it's a chicken cartoon? >> jimmy: it's chicken restaurant. olive oil -- >> popeye! >> jimmy: yes, correct. >> popeye. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> it's the last day of the week. >> friday. >> yes. >> tgif. >> yes. what are the words. >> thank god it's friday. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! you're good. >> i can't walk because i have -- >> a broken leg. >> no, i have -- >> jimmy: you have two -- you can't walk because you have high hls. >> no. >> jimmy: you have four feet. >> i can't walk because i >> jimmy: tight pants? [ laughter ] you're paralyzed. >> what's this? >> jimmy: your foot. >> i have -- >> jimmy: two left feet! >> yes. [ cheers ] [ buzzer beeps ] >> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] that's the strategy right there. >> that was a good one

>> tariq: come on, man. >> jimmy: i can't say it, tariq. that would take a really long time. >> tariq: aw, jimmy, but it's tuesday. have some fun. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, tuesday is fun day. [ cheers and applause ] all right. here we go. -- 60983591 -- -- 3345543 -- [ laughter ] -- 190679. [ cheers and applause ] there. i did it. are you happy, tariq? >> tariq: nailed it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and finally a -- [ cheers and applause ] windy. >> steve: windy in here. >> jimmy: air conditioning is over my head there, yeah. [ light laughter ] finally, a line judge at the australian open was working a a match yesterday when a tennis check it out here. >> got it in a rough spot. >> oh! >> jimmy: i believe he'll be making zero love. [ laughter and applause ] i think he mixed his doubles. we have a great show, everybody. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome. thank you very much. you guys, we have exciting news. we have a big announcement. we are flying out to do another we

our thanks to will smith, kirsten dunst, tariq trotter. kirsten and i -- more of the "tonight show" after the break. don't make me open up a can of whoop ass. [ cheers and applause ] hey, you forgot the milk! that's lactaid. right. 100% real milk, just without the lactose. so you can drink all you want... ...with no discomfort? exactly. here, try some... mmm, it is real milk. see? delicious. hoof bump! oh. right here girl, boom lactaid . 100% real milk. no discomfort and for a creamy and delicious treat, try lactaid ice cream no way. savor breakfast any time you like. cakes, real butter. mcdonald's all day breakfast menu. woah! father, why can't we have directv like the macgregors do? we're settlers, son. we settle for things. like having cable instead of directv. hey, jebediah, how's it going? working the land. hoping for a fertile spring. all right. so we have to live with lower customer satisfaction? i'm afraid so. now go churn us some butter, boy, and then make your own clothes. yes, sir. (vo) don't be a settler. get rid of cable and u

tariq: every atrocity comes as a shock and a surprise. have to point out that this has been going on now for several years. began,e afghanistan war i pointed out that one of the side effects of this war was going to be the destabilization of pakistan, especially in the northern province which borders afghanistan and where people speak the same language as many -- there are very close links between therovince d kistan. whou wagear on on coury and e way yowage tha war, is very dficult tstop th war frospilling over. e effectof ts spilla now in pakistahave become completely uncontrollable. every me theres an atrity, no just t sool chilen who were kild a few ars ago or the tredy that happened two daysgo, it inot just them, it i attacksn differt parts of the cntry by difrent fuamentali groups. every ti itappens,he prime minister of the country battles in publito end this -- vows in public t end this menace forever. the army does mount some operations but these operations are temporary affairs and they cannot be anything else. they come back fro

i'rtt f. [ bernie mb, shamo, clavicle, giant donut. [ laughter and appuse ] tariq. tariq. tariq, you wannary one? >> tariqyeah, ye. i'll give it a try >> jmyall right. tariq: jigsaw puzzle, cuinart, sshipbelly button. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: bebutton. estlove, you wanna give it a >> questlove: re, sure, sure. bacon, keanu reeves, teeter-totter, male pattern ldness. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy >> jimmy: teeterotte y birthday, by the way questlove. >> questve: ank you. [ cheersnd applause ] >> jmy: thisne's from myra cohen. hey jimmy, one of my new year's resolutions wato g in shape, but therere so ny personal trainers out there, it's hard to tell who's the real deal. can lp i know what you mean. it can get pretty confusing. so rightow, i thought we could brout a real tin and a fa trainer and see if it's possible to tell the difference between the two. me on out, guy [ cheers and applause ] all rit. all rit. okay. first off, guys, what are your >>'m did ksch. >> and i'm bry bibbet. [ ughter ] >> jmy: bay bibbet. alrit, let's see. what's a gd breakfast to h

tariq, you wanna try one? >> tariq: yeah, yeah. i'll give it a try. >> jimmy: all right. >> tariq: jigsaw puzzle, cuisinart, spaceship, belly [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: belly button. questlove, you wanna give it a a try? >> questlove: sure, sure, sure. bacon, keanu reeves, teeter-totter, male pattern baldness. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: teeter-totter. happy birthday, by the way, questlove. >> questlove: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this one's from myra cohen. hey jimmy, one of my new year's resolutions was to get in shape, but there are so many personal trainers out there, it's hard to tell who's the real deal. can you help?" i know what you mean. it can get pretty confusing. so right now, i thought we could bring out a real trainer and a fake trainer and see if it's possible to tell the difference between the two. [ cheers and applause ] all right. okay. first off, guys, what are your names? >> i'm david kirsch. >> and i'm barry bibbet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: barry bibbet. all right, let's see. wh

tariq: every atrocity comes as a shock and a surprise. have to point out that this has been going on now for several years. began,e afghanistan war i pointed out that one of the side effects of this war was going to be the destabilization of pakistan, especially in the northern province which borders afghanistan and where people speak the same language as many -- there are very close links between the province and pakistan. when you wage war on one country and the way you wage that war, it is very difficult to stop that war from spilling over. the effects of this spillage now in pakistan have become completely uncontrollable. every time there is an atrocity, not just the school children who were killed a few years ago or the tragedy that happened two days ago, it is not just them, it is attacks in different parts of the country by different fundamentalist groups. every time it happens, the prime minister of the country battles in public to end this -- vows in public to end this menace forever. the army does mount some operations but these