tequila! ♪ >> jimmy: i love you chose your own tequila. >> what happened? what happened?. >> that's a miss. gosh. what was my last one? >> jimmy: just say f-2. >> f-4. wheels are falling off, folks. producer's going -- [ laughter ] all right, is it my turn? >> jimmy: yeah. >> f-2. >> jimmy: congratulations. that's a hit. ♪ right there. oh, my god. johnny knoxville's the winner. [ cheers and applause ] with five right there. oh, my god, stop it. go see "bad grandpa" in theaters this friday. hailee steinfeld joins us after the break. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] you've reached the age where you don't back down from a challenge. this is the age of knowing how to make things happen. so, why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. 20 million men already have. ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term

somewhere it is. >> oh, that is a nice little bottle of tequila.that's yours. >> i have to sing later so it's kind of aiming fluid. >> ellen: exactly. it needs to warm up your throat. nothing like a little don julio. >> i feel better already. i will run that marathon if you want. [applause] >> ellen: keep pouring it, then. i should pour it now because this sunday was a tough one for our new orleans saints. >> oh, but -- always the optimist. ok. i know, but i can't delve on it the way everybody else does because we've come from a generation of decades of misery. i was at the very first game at tulane stadium -- i was 18 years old, working on bourbon street, john gilliam ran the first kickoff back for a touchdown and we thought this was going to be easy, and it wasn't, so flash back to the -- to last sunday, i'm still very happy being 5-1 and really not being chased as a 6-0 team because we've got a good team and we're going to be fine. >> ellen: we're going to do it? we're going to end up in the super bowl? >> nobody talked about us in the beginning

i am hosting the tacos and tequila event. it's a great event. i invite 31 different chefs.ut anything in. we have pulled pork. so i'll start with the pork shoulder and some spices, some red chilis and onions and garlic. >> and you braise it. >> let it go for 90 minutes covered in the oven. okay. actually there's dressing right there. you can dress this. we have cabbage and cilantro. contrast of texture is important. brooke has the taco shell. we're not going to use a tortilla for this. you can use a boston lettuce leaf. >> it's healthier. >> and gluten free. >> put barbecue sauce on the pork. your favorite barbecue sauce and take some of the slaw. >> they're tart and sweet and have a little punch. give this a taste. >> in the meantime -- >> what's next. >> let's get to the chicken. so we have chicken tacos, obviously very popular. i flavored mine with flavors of spain. so i blazed some chicken. >> chicken thighs. >> yes, they get nice and tender and you pull the chicken off of the bone and try not to shred it too much. i like it to be in bigger pieces and i take cheese whic

>> hablando de tequila >> se acuerdan de jeny rivera >> su hija chiqui rivera se l z lanza como cantantent u continuar el legado >> que bueno, me alegro >> le deseamos toda la suerte >> seguramente estas bievenida a acÁ en titulares mas >> mucha suerte a chiqui rivera >> por siertto ahora chiqui tom control de la herenci >> de todo >> si seÑor >> yo creo que ella quiere eso >> si es bueno >> controla todo y se mete al e negocio de la mama, que en paz d descanse >> tu tambiÉn cantas >> no no >> si >> en la judicial canto nada mas >> (risas( >> cante cuando estaba en gar a garivaldi >> entre comillas >> porque era un grupo coreog f coreografico >> hablanodo de producciones e tenemos un snuevo segmento >> prediccionicos y mas >> pronostiÓsticos y mas >> lo dije mal >> el pronostÓstico sera en bros >> orale >> mi pronostÓstico >> mexÉxico nueva zelanda >> ganara >> mexÉxico >> que bueno >> compadres este sabÁbado cr z azul contra americas las aguilas vuelven a ganar >> mi pronostÓstico >> lo estoy pensando porque ya lo siento >> red sox se llevan el banderin tras ganarle a detroit, ya veran

[♪] [vomita] esto es peor que cuando me bebo una botella de tequila. [vomita] [♪] >>¡oh, dios!alÉjate! ¡huye, loren! ¡corre! ¡ahh...! [♪] ¡ahh...! [♪] [jeos] ¡ahh...! [♪] ¡ahh...! >>bienvenido al club, chico. [gris] >>¡ohh...! hola. linda noche. [portazo] hay luna llena. ¿quieres cerveza? >>oh, cierto, eres menor de edad. [gritos] no dirÉ nada. [gritos] ¡ah! amenaza el territorio de otro depredor. [gritos] y serÁs mordido. [estruendo de vidrios] >>¡no soy tu territorio, ni tu maldita hembra ni tu pareja! >>ella era mi esposa. [gritos] [♪] dÉjame ir. >>no puedo. te dejÉ ir hace mucho y no lo volverÉ a hacer. >>¡estÁs enfermo! ¡yo... no soy melisa! >>ella tenÍa tu edad... antes... de morir. [estruendo de vidrios] [♪] tan joven y madura, era hermosa. ¿sabes? es gracioso. en estos dÍas ya estariamos casados, con un par de hijos. demasiado para la coincidencia sexual moderna. no puedes escapar a lo que pasÓ esa noche y loabes muy bien, ¿no? no me preguntes por quÉ, pero ya taba destinado desde hace 1oo aÑos. puedes oponerte a esa clase de karma. >>¡no te tengo miedo! solo eres un ho

a frito pie with a night of binge tequila and a strip club. ♪ a warm, spreading glow fills my belly asford galaxy. yet i am also depressed. frito pie. i smell metaphor. speaking of explosive diarrhea -- did you know that the first ever atomic bomb was exploded in 1945 in the desert of new mexico? sushi bars, galleries, massage studios. crystals? we got 'em. i think i need to adjust my vent or something. i just see dark portents in all of this. >> well, there are a lot of dark portents. >> all-had today is frito pie. >> this food will lighten you up, i guarantee you. >> horseman's haven cafe sits next to a gas station that is about as far away from the plaza as you can get without leaving the santa fe city limits. >> it has a special feel of chilies grown specifically for this restaurant and nowhere else. >> i meet back up with dan flores for a little historical perspective over some of santa fe's most beloved new mexican fare. >> i know people who have journeyed 300 or 400 miles to come eat at horseman's haven. >> enchilada with carne entomatada. cubed pork in red new mexico chili sauc

iniciar ni sni quie ni siquiera lmuerte la dejÓ atrÁs con su tequila y v ti vestidos de 15 aÑos.

a frito pie with a night of binge tequila and a strip club. ♪ >> a warm, spreading glow fills my bellyord galaxy. yet i am also depressed. frito pie. i smell metaphor. speaking of explosive diarrhea -- did you know that the first ever atomic bomb was exploded in 1945 in the desert of new mexico? sushi bars, galleries, massage studios. crystals? we got 'em. >> i think i need to adjust my vent or something. i just see dark portents in all of this. >> well, there are a lot of dark portents. >> all-had today is frito pie. >> this food will lighten you up, i guarantee you. >> horseman's haven cafe sits next to a gas station that is about as far away from the plaza as you can get without leaving the santa fe city limits. >> it has a special feel of chilies grown specifically for this restaurant and nowhere else. >> i meet back up with dan flores for a little historical perspective over some of santa fe's most beloved new mexican fare. >> i know people who have journeyed 300 or 400 miles to come eat at horseman's haven. >> enchilada with carne entomatada. cubed pork in red new mexico chili sa

iniciar ni sni quie ni siquiera lmuerte la dejÓ atrÁs con su tequila y v ti vestidos de 15 aÑos.amte el traje que sido pasado de gen praeriÓn en generÓn >>> llegosl n, y nos sigue en nuestra cuentas personales >> nos decÍa que Él nos iba a udar, que nos iba a traer por el sueÑo amerino. ¿sabe quÉ hizo? me metÓ e la conrucciÓn. >>¿como que en la construcciÓn? pagar la renta de alguna manera. >>con nta fuerza se me podÍa venir el niÑa. Él no entendÍa eso y me obligaba a hacerlo. >>pero sÍ quieres un niÑo estadounidense, ¿no? ta personauiere descalificar aquÍ. >>te malnacidora en las noches tambien me acosa porque qure tener sexo conmigo Él: bueno, sio pagas en ectivo, al menos... la: ¡cÁllate, estÚpido! ¡ya estoy harta de como me tratas! >>un momentito, por favor, dime quÉ eÁ pasando. doctor: ella acaba de roer la fuente aquÍ... si, aquÍ, en el estudio. >>sounos prcos. eso no es moral, no es correcto. la niÑa esta consa y llora. >>hace seis meses la niÑa esta de v vita.lla fue sta el cuarto yo esta besan a mi nov. ella: mi niÑa noeberÍa ver esto ni estar al lado de Él intimas?s tie

not so long ago a trip to tijuana would mean trinkets and tequila.ut now it's a very different destination. >> you are looking at one of the hottest new art scenes south of the border. it's a small passage way in downtown tijuana, mexico. the creative energy is flowing here as sculptors are showing off the twisted metal they tranltransform. and painters transform abandoned shops into art galleries. >> even the man dressed as a corpse has an elec electric vib. ♪ until recently this scene in this playing would have been unimaginable. swept up in a brutal drug war, many residents fled tijuana, tourism the city's life blood dried up. now they are experiencing a rebirth. led by artists. what was the atmosphere like when you were able to open mple. >> it was a place where a lot of hoohoodlums would hang out. and a lot of shops were closed. they abandoned business. >> how dihow did you think of transforming tijuana. >> we didn't think of transforming tijuana. it was the idea of low rent. tijuana transform itself again. >> this latest reinvention was a unlik

inicia ni sni quie ni siquiera la muerte la dejÓ atrÁs con su tequila y ves ti vestidos de 15 aÑos.do de gen praeraciÓn e generaciÓn >>> llegamos al fin, y nos sigue en nuestra cuentas >>nos decÍa que Él nos iba a ayudar, que nos iba a traer por el sueÑo americano. ¿sabe quÉ hizo? me metiÓ en la construcciÓn. >>¿cÓmo que en la construccion? Él: bueno, aquÍ se tiene que pagar la renta de alguna manera. >>con tanta fuerza se me podÍa venir el niÑa. Él no entendÍa eso y me obligaba a hacerlo. >>pero sÍ quieres un niÑo estadounidense, ¿no? esta persona quiere descalificarme aquÍ. >>este malnacido ahora en las noches tambiÉn me acosa porque quiere tener sexo conmigo. Él: bueno, si no pagas en efectivo, al menos... ella: ¡cÁllate, estÚpido!

un tequila, por favor. ¡por favor!o tantas veces lo hice? >> esta noche te lo permito todo. >> traidor, infame, canalla, ¿esta es la mujer con la que me engaÑas? la salvaje de maricruz olivares. tÚ un canalla y ella una desvergonzada que no tiene dignidad. >> simona. >> simona, espera. >> simona. >> simona, por el amor de dios, espera, simona. ¡simona! se va a matar, se va a matar. ¡simona! ofelia, ¿dÓnde estÁ simona? >> no sÉ, seÑor, saliÓ y tal vez no vuelva. >> cÓmo quÉ tal vez no vuelva. ¿no ha llegado? vamos todos a buscar a simona. >> ojalÁ, no le pase nada malo a mi seÑora. ojalÁ. >> toma, mija, esto te va a placar esos nervios. >> no, no, no. es que estoy segura que se hizo daÑo, santa, estoy segura. ¿como se le ocurriÓ cabalgar aÍi en su estado? ¡quÉ inconciencia tan grande! de verdad. ¿quiÉn le habrÁ dicho que yo estaba en el realengo con octavio? >> pos, ¿quiÉn se lo iba a decir? >> tiene que haber sido una casualidad, seÑora. >> es que si le ocurre algo malo a simona, octavio se va a sentir culpable y enton

four shots of tequila. ted, calm down. or not. this is your chance to get the one who got away.you want her, she wants you, what's the problem? the problem is victoria's in the middle of a giant freak-out. what if she winds up regretting this decision? she's going after ted mosby. that's the best decision she's ever made. there you go. whoa. what was that? what? you said you wanted a picture of baby marvin's first outing. our baby's first outing was to a bar. (gasps) i dribbled cuervo on marv's soft spot. here she comes! quick! go. so. you... me... riding off into the sunset. any thoughts? one question: fdr or westside highway, what's the quickest way to the sunset? i need to ask you both a few questions. let's start with you. name? quinn garvey. occupation? unemployed. well, well, well. look who's keeping secrets now. sir, i'll tell you her occupation: stripper. she insists she's proud of it, but apparently not proud enough to tell you. barney, i was going to surprise you with this on our trip, but... i quit. you... did that for me? yes. and now that you know what i did for you

un tequila, por favor. ¡por favor!

y un tequila, un libro, y trajes de quinceaÑera agregÓ su familia, y pronto la pelÍcula, en nueva yorkde alba, en la tienda que recaudarÁ fondos para vÍctimas de cÁncer, vera su encuentro con nuestro jomari goyzo. veamos. >>> me pillaste. con trapitos de mÉxico. y polanco, pero no, no son para mÍ. me voy a juntar con la reina del estilo mexicano, y punto. >>> con rebecca de alba. le voy a preguntar de todo del estilo. >>> ay quÉ llegaste puntual. (risas) >>> iba a hablar mal de ti. >>> quÉ? >>> que llegais tarde, de divas, no tÚ, llegaste puntualita. >>> mi rey, cÓmo estÁs? >>> cuÉntame, el outfit. tÚ sabes? >>> vamos a empezar, no soy fashion victim, sino que hago la moda mÍa. >>> Ándale. >>> como dijo channel, no luzco de moda, soy moda. >>> no hago el glamour, soy el glamour. >>> no que estÉ a la moda. >>> el glamour existe en una. >>> sÍ, crees que viajo a mÉxico para ponerme con una que no tiene glamour o estilo, me quedo en mi rancho con las cabras. viaje porque tienes estilo, y quiero secretos. >>> no hay que abusar del maquilla maquillaje, es uno. >>> es comÚn en la comunidad l

i'm so going to brush my teeth with tequila. mexico! mexico! hey, is this beach topless?mexico! mexico! that cute guy's been staring at you all night. oh, my god. i'm going to go poo now, so i don't have to later. mexico! mexico! hey, you want to see my pictures from mexico? look, janine, i just-- this is-- i can't with you anymore. it's all the time. this is a job. please take off that silly hat. (phone ringing) girl: mexico! i... i can't talk right now. you okay? yeah, babe. i got to pee, but i don't want to move. i'm so comfortable right now. i can pause it. i guess you could pause it... but you can't pause me! fast forward. fast forward. fast forward. glenn, stop. i can't breathe. i can't breathe either. this is torture for me, too. no fair. stop. i'm going to... (farts) sorry. ah, that's all right. it's just your body. sometimes things slip out. probably just making room for something. like what? hey, gang, got room for one more right in the middle of you two? come on, scooch apart, there. ooh, what's this? quagmire's cell phone? well, now that you're with meg, you d

it's known for a large selection of tequila. most bars named on the list are from overseas.ially london. though new york made a strong showing. >> i haven't been to either one of those. >> i know. me neither. field trip for us. how's the weather looking? >> you know this time of year is some of the best weather that the bay area sees. and temperatures are going to be in the 70s and 80s. as we head into the first part of our work week. and as we head into wednesday, i'm telling you, you might want to play hookie as temperatures at the coast will be warming up into the 70s as well. live doppler 7 hd right now. not showing much in the way of cloud cover or moisture out there as most of the weather features are pushed to the north or to the east of us. but a nice shot from our exploratory cam right now, with clear sky across the bay area. oakland 63. we have 61 in san jose. los gatos 55 degrees. all the twinkly lights from our cam looking down toward san francisco. santa rosa 57. we have 64 in fairfield and 59 in concord. so folks, here's a look at our forecast highlights. and i

, porque ahÍ estÁ el puesto de tequila >>> no mÁs no me han dejado ir para allÁ, yo soy tequilera. ♪screta, porque sÍ la verdad es momento de irnos con la ken de telemundo >>> mira la casa de chismosa >>> con edgardo del villar. ( ♪ mÚsica♪). >>> muchÍsimas gracias familia iniciamos con esta informaciÓn, autoridas revelar imÁgenes de dos hombres que son buscados por la vinculo de la desapariciÓn de la pequeÑa madeleine mccain la pocÍa dice bus costa ri buscar a estasersonas para interrogarlos, losos hombres fueron vistos en l aededor del centro turÍstico cuando desareciÓ la menor. seguimos con im dweÁgenes impresionan imesionae, una mujer que da coada en las vÍasel tren cuando el puee se subiÓ, la mujer estuvo colgando 22 tros de altu, no estÁ claro porque el pas de peatones estaba prohibido la mujer participarÍa en una marcha en apoyo a vÍctimas del cÁncer. en miami 30 personas fueron rescatadas junto a un perro de unata ma ranue comenzÓ a ndirse, icialese urgencia se acercaron al lugar ywru dar a los rescates de los pasajeros. lo que supone deberÍa haber sid un dÍa de celebraciÓn d

so the robber took two bottles of tequila instead. >> did he not fire right waichl he asked for money. then, you know i just gave him the money. >> the robber then hit stephanie horn's beauty salon. a neighborhood of shops and restaurants. many small mom and pop businesses. warren just opened so she, too only had a small amount of money in the cash register. >> he requested more. soy said you know we just opened at 9:00. this is all we have. >> that was not the answer he wanted. >> i was standing here. i don't know. you can see -- . >> the bullet? >> yes. the bullet. >> the woman was not hit by the gunfire. the robber ran out and entered this subway shop where he demanded money from a worker here. >> i heard three shots bam, bam, just like that. >> this pedestrian told me he saw the robber run out of the door after he heard the shots. >> this guy blazing out of subwa waving a gun. my friend just got out and passed him up. they jumped piled into the car took off and jumped on the freeway, they left. >> tomorrow, is the october fest celebration here. some are concerned they may put a da

>>> tequila doble, con limÓn, sal.>> estoy muy honrado que robert me hablo. Él me dijo hace 20 aÑos que querÍa hacer esta pelicula, y traigo un carÁcter que quieres tÚ, y (nombre en inglÉs). >>> algÚn hueso roto? un tendÓn desgarrado, te dejo el seÑor, luego de machete? >>> no. con mucho cuidado, y traigo un (nombre en inglÉs), muy, muy bueno. >>> ok, bueno. >>> romeo y julieta, revive la historia de montesco y capuleto, dos jÓvenes enamorados que a pesar de la posiciÓn de sus familias, deciden luchar por su amor, se casan de forma clandestina, la presiÓn de esa rivalidad, conducen al suicidio de los amantes, y un primer vistazo de la cinta (hablan en inglÉs), de robert de niro, sylvester sylvester stallone, y kim basinger, se enfrentarÁn en un combate epico, estrena en diciembre. >>> la Última vez que el clÁsico de william shakespeare se trajo a la pantalla, estaba leonardo dicaprio y clare danÉs. para los estrenos de dvd, (nombre en inglÉs). viene halloween regreso al estudio. >>> gracias daniela. vean una imagen, la

so the robber took two bottles of tequila instead. >> did he not fire right waichl he asked for money. then, you know i just gave him the money. >> the robber then hit stephanie horn's beauty salon. a neighborhood of shops and restaurants. many small mom and pop businesses. warren just opened so she, too only had a small amount of money in the cash register. >> he requested more. soy said you know we just opened at 9:00. this is all we have. >> that was not the answer he wanted. >> i was standing here. i don't know. you can see -- . >> the bullet? >> yes. the bullet. >> the woman was not hit by the gunfire. the robber ran out and entered this subway shop where he demanded money from a worker here. >> i heard three shots bam, bam, just like that. >> this pedestrian told me he saw the robber run out of the door after he heard the shots. >> this guy blazing out of subwa waving a gun. my friend just got out and passed him up. they jumped piled into the car took off and jumped on the freeway, they left. >> tomorrow, is the october fest celebration here. some are concerned they may put a da

. >> you said the tequila shot -- >> i said that, i said, we should have that at 9:30.ou said your mom would be mad. >> i said i might throw up a little bit in my mouth. >> speaking of that, miley cyrus is back on the cover. she's on the cover of "cosmo." she's speaking a lot. she made grammy statements that i'm literally the one everybody is talking about. she calls herself the underdog. it's almost like i'm like punk rock to like me. it's not the right thing to do. society wants to shut me down. >> i have to say i did dance to this song this weekend. we're talking about her right now. >> and i do like her music a lot. >> i can't help but like it. >> do you like dancing? how do you dance? >> like that. >> she did say on her breakup with liam helmsworth, this is the best time of my life. she did say this is the best time of my life. >> the truth is what girl is going to say i just got dumped. she looks great. she's very thin. a great body. dancing, singing. i don't know, i would personally want to wear a couple more clothes or want my child to wear more clothes and put

so the robber took two bottles of tequila instead. >> he did not fire right waichl he asked for money. i just gave him the money. >> and then hit this salon. like the restaurant horn just opened her shop so she, too, had only a small amount of money in the cash register. >> requested more. i said we just thopd saul we have. >> that was not the answer the gunman wanted. >> i was standing here fired there. >> the man ran out and entered the subway sandwich shop. >> i heard three shots. bam, bam, bam. >> this pedestrian who did not want to be identified told me he saw the robber running out of the door. >> this guy came blazing out of subway waving a gun and screaming. started to chase my friend and jumped on the freeway. he least a business owner tells abc 7 news he gave police security camera video the gunman. >> the latest fight played nout a courtroom today. major league baseball trying to lawsuit challenging baseball's antitrust exemption. it's a legal battle that could last for years. >> san jess yeah legal team headed to a federal courtroom to convince a judge not to dismiss the c

there is tequila. there is lime. that's probably vodka.s beer. >> i'll go with the mystery fruit drink. >> ellen: the mystery fruit drink? >> this could be anything. hi, mom. [laughter] >> ellen: oh, boy. you have the lime? >> what are you going to do? >> a huge glass of wine. what are you having? >> ellen: nothing. i'm driving. you have whatever you're going to have. now let's -- let's see you do something. what will you do? >> i can't twerk. >> ellen: what will you do? >> i can do something horrifying. >> ellen: let's see you do that. >> all my fingers are double-jointed. >> i know. sorry. [laughter] >> this is why i'm such a good actress. >> she can bend her fingers. >> ellen: is it just your fingers that are double-jointed? >> it is, unfortunately. >> ellen: that's unbelievable. which means you can never break a finger. >> i was in karate class when i was a kid and the instructor tried to show us things that could debilitate someone, it was break a finger, he picked me and when he went to do it i was like wow. >> ellen: that's amazing.

dagen: when in doubt, drink tequila. let's go to the floor of the stock exchange with market reaction to the back and forth on capitol hill. where we started the hour. nicole: this eaves investors on edge to hear different rhetoric from different lawmakers. when john boehner spoke you saw the market jump and look at the volatility on the interday chart on the dow jones industrials, from basically 15,000 to 30 of to 280 so it was a 50 point sound optimistic, he spoke with nancy pelosi coming out and as trrders were calling get the scare tactics, the worries about our economy and what hits your wallet and harry reid followed. you have back-and-forth action. we saw the russell coming of a fresh highs yesterday and one trader said, doesn't mean it is true, what if this all happen? what if we get to the deadline and default and credit rating is cut and look at the low. you know there will be some selling and people won't be happy about it. that is oovious. dagen: politicians should be careful about predicting upward movement

i'm one of those annoying smokers with a tequila or something. i aisle have a cigarette.as up to two packs a day. you can't do it -- >> i've been to the versace mansion where johnny was killed and it's -- >> incredible. >> it's incredible how that all. the guy that killed him was a serial killer. you don't dwell on that. you dwell on how much the death of johnny who you had a love/hate relationship, real sibling rivalry at its most shakespearean, almost. and yet you loved him so much. once he was gone, you had all of the beautiful empire on your shoulders. >> it's so tragic. i think we think about donatello at and mya doing her on snl. we think she is larger than life and has had this look as long as we know her. but the thing that was so interesting when i read the book and the script, there was so much about this woman that i really didn't know and i didn't understand how the family worked. >> what family -- >> what did you learn about her you didn't expect to learn? >> well, you have to -- i didn't quite realize. you know, she really comes from that strong southern ita

having stayed up all night drinking tequila and playing pool with my brother, which didn't go well.rayal. i went to the thing. it's for kids. not pretty. but what was terrible was owen, you know, we're doing these interviews together and i told him ahead of time that you're going to be doing all the heavy lifting here. i can barely stand it. he said no problem, buddy, just leave it to me. so with me in the middle,and luckily he would be fielding the questions and then they would ask him a question and he would talk for a while and he would go what do you think buddy? and i would be kind of like, i agree with you. >> that will be a fun game for people to play as they watch entertainment tonight and those shows throughout the week promoting this movie. please know when you see it that woody is totally hung over. woody harrelson, everybody. we will be right back with kesha. >> portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by the 2014 ford fiesta. ] awww. [ camera shutters clicking, crowd groans ] no. closer. ♪ ♪ i am a veggie, i am so tasty 2007 called, it wants its camera phone bac

. >>> desmintieron que por su arresto perdÍan el patrocinio de una marca de tequila. >>> sÍ, teniamosado en nueva york. danila polanco estuvo ahÍ. nos cuenta mÁs, veamos. >>> milly quesada, el torito acosta, henry santos, y tommy love, sacaron adelante el homenaje a juan luis guerra que no estuvo presente por compromisos previos, la reina del merengue lo representÓ. >>> muy feliz, le colaboro cuando Él quiera, es nuestro juan luis guerra, y el juan luis del mundo. que sentÓ pautas, es un ejemplo a seguir en el orden personal, y profesional. >>> no parÓ el torito, estÁ nominado al latn grammy, su nueva bebÉ lo tiene enloquecido. >>> los niÑos son una bendiciÓn, tengo una niÑa llena de salud, de vida, de buen humor. un incluso le cambiÉ paÑales, yo le doy su leche. >>> no. >>> tÚ eres un hombre que siempre te mantuviste fuera de la controversia, tuviste un enc encontronazo con eddie herrera. >>> es parte del espectÁculo, le tengo cariÑo y respeto a Él. >>> quÉ pasÓ para la gente de estados unidos? >>> no, fue una publicaciÓn de un medio, y parece que nosotros al responderle, o pedirle q

. >> give the pumpkin a shot of tequila. >> yeah! >> there it is, all the way. chemical reaction going on. go become to the laser. go back to the laser. >> i always like hearing let's go back to the laser. >> all right. i think we are ready. everything is leaned up. are we ready? >> just stand behind me, kerry. >> here we go, powering on the laser in three, two, one. >> wow. >> jimmy: oh. this is much scarier than i anticipated it would be. >> oh! >> jimmy: halloween. oh, boy. you told me when i was a youngster one day i would blow up a pumpkin with a laser, i would have been the most excited kid in the world. look at that. that is fantastic. how about that? thank you, science bob. his book is called nick and tess' high danger lab" and "science bob" pflugfelder. we'll be right back with sleigh bells. peppejalapeÑos, bacon,shrooms, tomato and avocado. i call it, "the avocado da vinci". create your om'lart with denny's build your own omelette menu. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank kerry washington, science bob pflugfelder, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of tim

>> jimmy: two tequila and one jÄgermeister. [ laughter and applause ] i said to myself, i got to stopt know what kind of shots, actually. the ones you're supposed to have. that's good to know. ask the doctor what he's doing to my child. >> sure. was this doctor in a van? >> jimmy: yes, yes. [ laughter ] this doctor was in a van. it was very odd. and she was there at the end of the thing, i was like by myself in the van. and cops pulled me out. you have little girls around the house now. and i just, i don't know, any advice? i mean, do you have any? >> for you guys. well, you'll be a great dad. because you're a nice person. >> jimmy: thank you. >> i think with girls, i mean, it's like, chris rock said it the best. if you're a dad of a daughter, your main job is to keep them off the pole. [ laughter and applause ] keep them off the pole. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> to that end, i think you just want them to be, like, little fun weirdos and nerds for as long as possible. don't worry about being cool. we don't want them to worry about looking sexy certainly. you just want them to be nerds. m

anyway, that i soon made the classic error of moving from margaritas to actual shots of straight tequila ask you. why is it that anytime the alien visits like america, there's always anal penetration involved? >> i've never heard it before ever. >> really? >> no. am i new to that? >> but the pig. the pig. what about that body in the desert? some say the tradition of the matanza dates back to moorish times when the eating of pig had to be clandestine. but we can verify this pig's been cooked slow over hot coals for the last 17 hours. >> i caught a peek of its ass. it looks delicious. >> frank here, he knows. he runs pancho's barbecue in albuquerque. >> time to get slicy. i step in to help frank break my piggy friend down into its constituent parts. >> beautiful. >> first, off got legs. what you call your fresh ham. then your forequarter, your shoulders and what not. the loin and rib section, your pork belly. nothing goes to waste. >> all right. now the head. >> all those pig parts sent down the line to harold, who's been using them for a veritable rainbow of new mexico an specialties. he'

usually lit up on tequila.tonight. >> guillermo: oh. >> jimmy: see if you can get that working. >> guillermo: right there. >> jimmy: you sound look a robot or something. hey, this is unbelievable. science news. scientists from harvard and yale changed genetic code, of e.coli bacteria made an organism resistant to infections. the same process they used to come up with dip-n-dots. a photograph of the new organization. it feed exclusively on cheese flavored products. they're saying, this could be, an important step toward making sure that everyone lives forever and looks like an abercrombie & fitch model. we focus on world series, miley cyprus, whatnot. this is probably the most important story of the year. scientists have created life. tonight we have the lead researcher of the project with us live via satellite from yale university. thought it would be interesting to have him explain this to us. dr. faren isaacs. hello, doctor. >> hello, jimmy. >> jimmy: doctor, wow, are you all right? looks like something went

there is no tequila here, right? >> no.r clothes fall off? bill hemmer joins us with that and what's on top of your mind and getting ready for your show. >> only if it's patron. as easy as book ago hotel room, right? maybe not. the issues facing obamacare. how is the economy where you live? the jobs number are out. we'll tell you full reaction. the teacher called a hero is a u.s. marine and a classroom filled with students. if you win a football game 91-0, are you considered a bully? one parent believes that's the case. we'll see new 12 minutes, top of the hour here a. chose prego homestyle alfredo over ragu classic alfredo. prego alfredo?! [ thinking ] why can't all new things be this great? ha ha! whoa! [ monkey squeals ] [ sighs ] [ male announcer ] choose taste. choose prego. with an ultra-thin coating and fast absorbing advil ion core™ technology, it stops pain before it gets worse. nothing works faster. new fast acting advil. look for it in the white box. ♪ >> he's one of the most traditional voices in all of country

the only worker there said there was noing in the cash register so the robber took 2 bottles of tequila instead. >> he didn't fire writ away he asked for money. and you know i gave him the money. >>reporter: robber hit stephanie butte salon in the diamond district. neighborhood of shots and restaurants many of them small mom and pop businesses. just lake the restaurant, horn had uses opened the shop so she too had only small amount of money in the cash register. >> they want more. i said base open at 9:00 o'clock this is all we have. >>reporter: that was not the gunman wanted. >> i was writ hear. he fared there i don't know. >>reporter: i see the bullet hole. >> yes. >> woman fortunately was not hit by the gunfire. robber then ran out entered the subway sandwich shop demanded money from worker here. >> i heard 3 shots bam bam bam like that. >>reporter: this pedestrians who did not want to be identified for fear of retaliation told me he saw the robber run out the door after he heard the shots. >> guy come bracesing out of subject which waving a gun. get the heck out of my way man. start

somebody had a flower that squirted tequila. what do you mean "somebody"?full credit. - what up, red? - really? teach me to juggle! the key is to be aware of where everything is at all times. (giggles) - (thud) - oh! - (laughs) - (lewis laughs) and don't forget the importance of balance! oh! - whoa! - okay. okay. come on. i think i cracked my eggs. we're out of eggs? are you yolking? and i haven't eaten in five days! (lewis crying) five days! are you cereal? - whoa! - (thud) lily, don't ever do that. ♪ - okay. you two are deliberately not confirming me. - (turns off tv) everybody else has accepted my facebook requests-- your father, uncle mitchell...adele. that's right. adele has agreed to be my friend, and my own daughters haven't. you may just be a fan of adele, and-- what is so private that i can't possibly see it? nothing. nothing. you just don't want to be my friend. you're not gonna believe this. mitzi got the listing. oh, no, honey. that's awful. she cheated, she lied, and she won. kids, gather 'round. again, we are gathered. you wanna get ahead? don

el tequila no solo serÍa popular en los bares, sino que ocuparÍa un lugar importante en los consultoriose las bebidas, ayuda a disolver grasas, porque baja los niveles de colesterol. >>> da la oportunidad que circule por las arterias, y hace que las placas de colesterol evita que se adhieran. >>> un joven de 33 bajo esto. >>> dos o tres veces por semana tomar una copita. >>> cuenta la historia que antes que los espaÑoles conquistaran amÉrica, los indÍgenas bebian algo y que era un regalo de los dioses. tambiÉn se suma el fortalecimiento del sistema inmunolÓgico. >>> tambiÉn estÁ permitido como el licor en la dieta paleo. por eso algunas personas lo estamos consumiendo. no en las maÑanas. seguimos contigo ximena. ♪ ♪ >>> asÍ es, buenos dias, para todos. y comenzamos con el huracÁn raymond que tiene vientos mÁximos de 120 millas. atenciÓn michoacÁn, en su trayectoria afecta las costas con fuertes lluvias y vientos. y comenzÓ la primera nevada para los grandes lagos, wisconsin, michigan, chicago tiene un 20% de lluvia. su mÁxima sera de 49. otras mÁximas, miami 88. san francisco 64. los Áng

the only worker there said there was none in the cash register so the robber took too bottles of tequilad. >> he did not fire right away. he asked for money. i couldn't give him the money. >> he then hit stephanie horn's beauty salon in the diamond district, a neighborhood of shops and restaurants. many of them small mom and pop businesses. just like the restaurant, horn had just opened her shop so she, too, only had a small amount of money in the cash register. >> he requested more. i said we just opened the shop at 9:00 and this is all we had. >> that was not the answer the gunman wanted. >> i was stand being right here. he fired there. i don't know. you could see -- >> i see the bullet holes. >> yeah, the bullets. the woman fortunately was not hit by the gunfire. robber then ran out and entered this subway sandwich shop where he demanded money from a worker here. i heard three shots, bam, bam, bam, like that. >> this pedestrian, who did not want to be identified for fear of retaliation, told me he saw the robber run out the door after he heard the shots. >> the guy come blazing out of