terry jones so one of you teach and especially because the fact i've been in the middle east, i've been congo in arms capacity and i've worked with folks like you and to go into some of the places that you mentioned with the situations you are unarmed. i don't people truly have an appreciation an understanding for that. and so on reflection, i'm want to get your thoughts on how you process and handle frailty of the human condition because even as a uniformed member, as a contractor, as you said, you know, things were out there. and so it was hard not to get attached to some people. so how did deal with. well, you know, as i was saying earlier, unfortunately, a lot of us, you know, dealt with it in the moment through through self-medication of some or another. i mean this is this is not a thing. but there was a drugstore at the end of my street in kabul that sold almost everything over the counter and you go in there and, you know, they've got xanax, vicodin, ritalin, you know, for i'm fortunately never went crazy with any of that stuff. but there was definitely some ambien and xanax. i