he ripped out a piece of my heart. >> reporter: that was terry probyn then. terry probyn today.er at the garridos and the carelessness of the police. >> it does. it does eat at me, still to this day. and i know i have to channel that anger into something good, because it will eat me alive if i don't, if i let it. when jaycee's out of sight. >> the thoughts flood. "is she going to come back? am i ever going to see her again?" and then i'll hear her, you know, skulking around in the kitchen and i'll think, "oh." "it's okay. she is here, she is home." >> reporter: are you surprised that, in some ways, it's harder on you five years later than it is on her? >> i wish it wasn't. you know, i don't want to carry this any longer. >> reporter: she says she is trying to move forward, learning from her daughter, who says that rage is also a kind of invisible prison. >> i didn't want to give one more minute to phillip and nancy. i mean, they took 18 years of my life. >> reporter: the last time we saw phillip garrido in court, at one point he looks at his wife, his accomplice, mouthing "i lov

. >> terry probyn, jaycee's mother.ee him -- can't bear that. >> it's their decision. i would hope that they would choose not to. >> do you worry at some point they'll want to see him? >> i want them to make their own choices in life, and if that's something that they need to do -- >> really? you'd be okay with it? >> i wouldn't be okay with it but i wouldn't not let them do it. >> boy, what a wrenching situation that would be. you can see a lot more of her exclusive interview with jaycee dugard on a special edition of "20/20" at 10:00 eastern, 9:00 central. of course, that's here on abc. >>> and coming up here on "gma," sarah silverman has a health scare. dr. richard besser is live here with more on that. >>> and kenny chesney is going to perform live in central park. ♪ no shoes no shirt no problem but can your multivitamin to be healthy. do more for your immune health? now one a day has the first multivitamin with probiotics to support the 70% of your immune system that's found in your digestive tract. new one a day w