in a lane one, new competitor to the colbert, and in lane two sprint cup champion jimmie johnson. they will be racing down the track with eggs on spoons in their mouth and returning with a grapefruit between their legs like the ancient greeks. let's go to the track! >> ready, set, go! and they're off. stephen with good form. what's this? jimmie johnson's using his hands. a questionable move but since

there case maybe the phillies should get together with stephen colbert. >> sends them over there, right? >> speaking every science, our scientists is out on the skydeck. >> hi, guys, yes, they called out the colbert bump, special equation apparently, yes. looking ahead though to much quieter day when it comes to the transition that's been made granted few left over hiccups, but the rain is gone. the winds picks up in its wake. and we expect to see the temperatures level off to some pretty cool values. i will say, off to relatively mild start, you're going see that reflected in the temperatures in just a second, colds front itself trying to pull away. full transition hasn't complete philadelphia self just yet. we eventually end up with temperatures sort of level themselves off. so it isn't as chilly to start, but, don't expect much more movement on the thermometer in short. what we can expect, sunshine, here's where we stands, yes, not bad. you're still at 56 degrees after all at wildwood, 54 at philadelphia international airport, and low and mid 50's, pretty much everywhere else, say, f

. >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight stephen welcomes aaron suskind, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ? >> stephen: hey, everybody! ? ( cheers and applause ) what's up? what's up? what's up, jon? >> jon: you lookin' good! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! please, have a seat! you're very kind. welcome to "the late show," everybody. ( laughter ) i'm happy to say i'm your host stephen colbert. let's get right to it, the only news that matters: the cubs won the world series! ( cheers and applause ) that's right! for the first time in a century, wrigleyville is covered in victory vomit! ( laughter ) congratulations, chicago! ( whispering ) i mean, congratulations, chicago. i know you just woke up. shhh. lay your head back down on that half-chewed italian beef and snuggle up to the goat you brought home. you earned it because last night -- everybody watch the game? ( incredible! incredible! a

colbert! thank you so much. welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. and we are live tonight from new york. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: that's not too shall by. meanwhile, in philadelphia, hillary clinton held a huge rally in front of independence thunder road. trump, on the other tiny hand spoke in new hamre an >> tom brady, he and he said, donald, i support you, you're my friend and i voted for you. >> stephen: no surprise brady is a trump fan, b ( cheering ) to get a good grip. ( laughter ) and last night trump had "the bruce springsteen of insane bowhunters," ted nugent, and the nuge did not disappoint. >> i got your blue state right >> stephen: what is he even saying? ( laughter ) i don't -- i don't understand. is his crotch actually blue? you guys, i've said it before, if your genitals resemble the electoral map at all, consult a doctor immediately. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( laughter )l yove got left is a billionaire with a i( laughter ) ( applause ) makes no sense. trump based his whole campaign on that twitter account.

live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: ehey, welcome, everybody! welcome to "the late show"! lovely group of folks. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i am your host stephen colbert, and i couldn't be happier to be with all of you right now. what a privilege it is to come out here and talk about all of the >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: some of them good, some of them bad, but human feelings we can share through the miracle of television. here's something i have a feeling about -- the trump train keeps on rolling down them crazy tracks. ( laughter ) yesterday, trump summoned all the bigwigs of tv news, folks like cnn president jeff zucker and nbc anchor lester holt, to were being named secretary of state. he's going to have, like, 20 secretaries of state. a lot of countries, makes sense. once they got there, our nation's most prominent media figures were dressed down and told, "we're in a room of liars," and he told cnn's jeff zucker, "i hate your network everyone at cnn is a liar." that one. i mean, why is antho

the late show." i'm stephen colbert. thank you for being in here, out there, all around the world. ( cheers and applause ) very nice. hope you like my costume. i'm dressed as the spookiest october surprise: f.b.i. director james coooo-meyyyy! ( cheers and applause ) because was he really because, on friday, comey re-animated the corpse of the hillary clinton e-mail scandal. it's alive! it's alive! comey sent a letter to congress saying the f.b.i. may have found more clinton e-mails. and that's spurred a lot of questions like "how damaging is this?" "will it throw the election for trump?" and "what's a letter? is that like a gif that doesn't the f.b.i. found the emails while investigating illicit messages sent to an underage girl by clinton aide huma abedin's estranged husband and es-strange guy anthony weiner. ( laughter ) apparently, they found them while searching his laptop. dear god, i hope they used gloves. ( laughter ) and some purelle, just soaked it down. ( laughter ) weiner's penis might destroy two political car

. >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert" with stephen colbert! and welcome ruth wilson, j.b. smoove! and the ghost brothers! jon batiste and "stay human." live from new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ? >> stephen: thank you! ( cheers and applause ) hey! welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. thank you for being in here, out there, all around the world. happy halloween, everybody! having a good time? ( cheers and applause ) very nice. hope you like my costume. i'm dressed as the spookiest october surprise: f.b.i. director james coooo-meyyyy! because was he really here? because, on friday, comey re-animated the corpse of the hillary clinton e-mail scandal. it's alive! it's alive! comey sent a letter to congress saying the f.b.i. may have found more clinton e-mails. and that's spurred a lot of questions like "how damaging is this?" "will it throw the election for trump?" and "what's a letter? is that like a gif that doesn't mo the f.b.i. found the emails while investigating illicit messages sent to an underage girl

welcome to "the late show," everybody. ( laughter ) i'm happy to say i'm your host stephen colbert. get right to it, the only news that matters: the cubs won the world series! ( cheers and applause ) that's right! the curse is lifted! for the first time in a century, wrigleyville is covered in victory vomit! ( laughter ) congratulations, chicago! ( whispering ) i mean, congratulations, chicago. i know you just woke up. shhh. lay your head back down on that half-chewed italian beef and snuggle up to the goat you brought home. you earned it because last night -- everybody watch the game? ( cheers and applause ) incredible! incredible! a grown man, i cried! last night was a storybook extra-innings world series classic-- a lead-off home-run, big leads swept away in seconds, rolling out the tarps in the bottom of the ninth, five hours of grown men chewing and spitting! between the rain delay and the gallons of saliva, joe madden had to go to the mound in water wings. and it all built up to an insane finale: after working through all their starters, the cubs had to swap out their closer, a

and now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ? ? ? >> stephen: hey! how are you? captioning sponsored by cbs >> stephen: welcome to "the late show," everybody. good to see you, jon. nice to see you. ( cheers ) we about to do it! thanks so much, everybody. nice. what lovely people here. amazing. ( cheers ) please, thank you so much for being here. welcome to "the late show." up there, down here, all around. welcome, good to see you. these people are alive on this planet. thank you for being here. welcome to "the late show," i'm stephen colbert. and i hope everyone at home and everyone here is with a loved news: angelina and brad pitt are getting a divorce. that's right, no more "brangelina." they're just going to be "gelina" and "bran," now. here's what happened: the divorce papers were filed yesterday in los angeles superior court, citing "irreconcilable attractiveness." ( laughter ) now, why did this happen? we don't know. we don't know. we can speculate, but we're not sure. becaus t something this cataclysmic, it is the fog of war. b

so, here's what i want you, the colbert nation, to do. i want you to go to www.gop.com/debate-prep-survey, and fill out the survey. ( cheers and applause ) and whenever, on almost every question, it gives you the option, "other, please specify," and whenever you see the words, "other, please specify," put in something we'd really or "i'm not really a billionaire." or "putin's butt tastes like cotton candy." ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: oh! oh! oh! >> stephen: yeah. ? we got a winner ? now, a poll came out last week actually that found hillary "has the support of just 31% ofli the remaining 69% of millennials split evenly between bernie sanders and harambe. ( laughter ) but, i do know of one millennial who's voting for hillary, former president george h.w. bush. he qualifies as a millennial because i believe he's a thousand years old. ( laughter ) just kidding. he is a vigorous 92, and two years ago, he celebrated his tweeting about it. ( cheers and applause ) all right? so to those of you out there whose grandpa still can't figure out h

the late show with stephen colbert captioning sponsored by cbs >> stephen: elijah, hey man! good to have you on the show finally! >> stephen. it's really great to be here... again. >> stephen: again? you were her before? >> yep. >> stephen: are you sure? >> i mean yeah, there's video to prove it. >> what? you don't remember? it was only a few months ago. >> stephen: mmm-- >> you know, i mean, after the show, you stopped by to tell me how great it was to have me on the show. >> stephen: doesn't sound like me. >> well, i don't think i want to say what that says about a host who can't remember his guests. >> stephen: well, i would like to say, that i say, i would love for you to say what is says, because i think it says something about the guest who >> say it! >> stephen: it says you're uncool. >> this is a vintage sweater. i challenge you to settle this like gentleman! ? ? ? ? ? ? >> stephen: elijah, hey man, great to finally have you on the show. >> i've been on a couple times, stephen. >> stephen: are you sure, man? >> yeah, remember i was on that one time, and then i was on

there's the-- there's the colbert sign right there. so i'm just saying, the unity thing might take a schooch longer than trump was hoping for. i just want to say, freedom of assembly, freedom of speech, first amendment it's most important things we can do together. ( cheers and applause ) don't stop speaking your mind. don't ever be cowed by whatever happens in the next four years. but do keep in mind that for eight years a lot of people wouldn't accept barack obama was president of the united states. for instance, donald trump. ( laughter ) but, like it or not, for the record, not. we have to accept donald trump will be the 45th president of the united states ( booing ) completely. i just had to say it one more time. i want to just keep saying it so i can say it without throwing up in my mouth a little bit. or feeling. ( cheers and applause ) there's actually-- there's actually-- i don't even you feel like-- it's like a little bit of a dream state. all day loang i had to remind myself, "oh, yeah, this is not a dream. i am not on a bad

>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes miles teller, neil degrasse tyson. and triumph the insult comic dog! featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) ? ? ? >> stephen: hey, everybody, thank you so much! >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen. >> stephen: thanks, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) thanks, everybody. thanks so much. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm stephen colbert. i think. ( laughter ) i'm not sure what to believe about anything anymore. let me ask you-- how's everybody doing right now? how you feeling? i'm glad. that's better than i thought. ( laughter ) because, you know, i-- i am so glad to be with you tonight. i wouldn't want to be alone right now, you know. and if you'll be there, i'm not going anywhere. all right. ( cheers and applause ) what's it, four years? four years? we've got four very interesting years in front of

in a lane one, new competitor to the colbert, and in lane two sprint cup champion jimmie johnson. they will be racing down the track with eggs on spoons in their mouth and returning with a grapefruit between their legs like the ancient greeks. let's go to the track! >> ready, set, go! and they're off. stephen with good form. what's this? jimmie johnson's using his hands. a questionable move but since

. >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, stephen welcomes tiger woods, elijah wood and jorge ramos, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ? ? ? >> stephen: hey! look at that! thank you, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) ? ? ? >> stephen: jon batiste, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) welcome to "the late show"! over there. good to see you! ( piano riff ) good to see you, everybody! thank you so much! awfully nice. awfully nice. ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much. welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. everybody feeling all right tonight? ( cheering ) thanks very much. well, thank you so much for your energy, because we were here late last night, we did the show live last night. we're a little, uh, we have a trump hangover. we are all still recovg last night's third and final debate, if there is a god. now, everybody's wondering who won. like this debate and every debate, who won, wh

in a lane one, new competitor to the colbert, and in lane two sprint cup champion jimmie johnson. they will be racing down the track with eggs on spoons in their mouth and returning with a grapefruit between their legs like the ancient greeks. let's go to the track! >> ready, set, go! and they're off. stephen with good form. what's this? jimmie johnson's using his hands. a questionable move but since he's a celebrity, i'll let it go

in a lane one, new competitor to the colbert, and in lane two sprint cup champion jimmie johnson. they will be racing down the track with eggs on spoons in their mouth and returning with a grapefruit between their legs like the ancient greeks. let's go to the track! >> ready, set, go! and they're off. stephen with good form. what's this? jimmie johnson's using his hands. a questionable move but since he's a celebrity, i'll let it go