lifestyle isn't the most normal lifestyle. and that's the kind of thing also. i'm like -- you know, this isn't the lifestyle for me. you know, multiple girls around all the time. you know, the playboytyle. i don't know. i don't know. it just -- i don't know. i just wanted to be true to myself. and he's fine. >> i mean, look, forgive me if i laugh. >> i agree. >> the idea crystal didn't know what she was getting into. >> beyond that, most of what she said publicly, and that adds to the mystery. most of what she has said publicly is not true. and is clearly not what is really going on. and what her reaction was all about. she loved the lifestyle. she loved the girls. so, you know. i think she has expressed in public interviews pretty much what she thought she ought to say. and there's another story behind it which we don't know. >> obviously you were very shocked. were you very saddened by what happened personally? >> yes, i was stunned. yes, absolutely. yes. >> i can't imagine you ever being anything but the bon vivre we know you as. did you shed a tear oaf it? >> have i shed a tear? yes, i've shed a couple of tears, yes. but again, because of the support of people near and dear to