when she was 16, thordis elva was raped by a man she knew — the man she had at that point consideredo be her boyfriend, tom stranger. the ordeal was two hours long, and brutal. it left her physically damaged in the short term and mentally in pieces. her story is — worryingly — not that unusual. in nine out of 10 cases of sexual assault, the perpetrator is known to the woman. in a majority of cases, it is a partner or ex—partner. what is unusual, though, is what happened next. she got back in touch with her rapist eight years later, and began an exchange of emails with him to understand what had motivated the violence and what effect it had had on each of them. eventually, they decided to come face—to—face. she travelled from iceland, her home, he from australia, and they met in cape town, where they spent a week together. they wrote a book to chart what they learned, called south of forgiveness. there are both with me, thank you for coming here. why did you get back in touch after something so excruciatingly painful. well, it was something i had to do. the first thing i did was try a

when she was 16, thordis elva was raped by a man she knew — the man she had at that point considered it left her physically damaged in the short term and mentally in pieces. her story is — worryingly — not that unusual. in nine out of 10 cases of sexual assault, the perpetrator is known to the woman. in a majority of cases, it is a partner or ex—partner. what is unusual, though, is what happened next. she got back in touch with her rapist eight years later, and began an exchange of emails with him to understand what had motivated the violence and what effect it had had on each of them. eventually, they decided to come face—to—face. she travelled from iceland, her home, he from australia, and they met in cape town, where they spent a week together. they wrote a book to chart what they learned, called south of forgiveness. there are both with me, thank you for coming here. why did you get back in touch after something