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i'm trevor noah. our guests, star of the new netflix movie "special correspondents," ricky gervais is here! (cheers and applause) first up, let's talk about ted cruz. (laughter) he's a man despised by basically everyone -- the democrats hate him, fellow republicans hate him. when babies are born, they cry because being alive means they might some day meet him. but the people who know him on a personal level are the ones who truly revile him. listen to how former republican speaker of the house john boehner talked about ted cruz yesterday. >> he absolutely tore into him calling him lucifer in the flesh. >> i have democrat friends, republican friends, i get along with almost everyone but i have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life. >> trevor: damn! lucifer in the flesh! that is so cold! on top of that, boehner just called cruz the most miserable son of a bitch he's ever worked with. do you understand, ever worked with! do you know how many terrible people john boehner worked with
i'm trevor noah. our guests, star of the new netflix movie "special correspondents," ricky gervais is here! (cheers and applause) first up, let's talk about ted cruz. (laughter) he's a man despised by basically everyone -- the democrats hate him, fellow republicans hate him. when babies are born, they cry because being alive means they might some day meet him. but the people who know him on a personal level are the ones who truly revile him. listen to how former republican speaker of...
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captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much. thank you very much, everybody. our guest tonight from the "the carmichael show," jerrod carmichael! but first, if you skipped watching our show last night to watch the n.c.a.a. men's final, congratulations on making good life choices. no, the game-- the game was amazing. villanova forward kris jenkins sank a shot at the buzzer getting his team to the national title and getting himself laid for life in philadelphia. yeah. it was such a great moment. it was also sad in a way, because you realize now nothing in kris jenkins' life will ever top this moment, nothing, not at all. like, he could deliver a baby on the roof of a burning building, and then rescue the mother and child by using his parachute to glide them safely into an ambulance, and still the paramedic will say, "oh, ( bleep )! you're kris jenkins! that shot was crazy." thanks for your help. now tonight more history is set to be made. the u-conn's women's team is set to win their n.c.a.a. record, and this is
captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much. thank you very much, everybody. our guest tonight from the "the carmichael show," jerrod carmichael! but first, if you skipped watching our show last night to watch the n.c.a.a. men's final, congratulations on making good life choices. no, the game-- the game was amazing. villanova forward kris jenkins sank a shot at the buzzer getting his team to the...
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>> it is >> trevor: that's what you enjoy? >> i mean, you've got to. >> trevor: you don't got to. got the same thing, which is it's really fascinating to me. what's also interesting is the fact that a lot of vineÑi youtue instagram stars are still trying to be on tv. why? >> well, for me, i took it very seriously. i did an undergrad and i did a masters program, and i studied acting for two years straight intensive from 9:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. for two years straight, so i really put the work into my craft and i believe if you want to study anything, you have to put the time into it and that's what i did. so i think it translates the tv shows and movies, they can see this guy is not just internet famous, he has talent. >> trevor: and you do. we're seeing you everywhere now. house of lies, and black jesus, and seeing you in movies now, "meet the blacks," which is the strangest movie which i've ever seen because it's basically a black horror movie. >> yeah. >> trevor: which begs the question, who dies first is this (laughter) >> you will have to watch to find out. >> trevor: so you wer
>> it is >> trevor: that's what you enjoy? >> i mean, you've got to. >> trevor: you don't got to. got the same thing, which is it's really fascinating to me. what's also interesting is the fact that a lot of vineÑi youtue instagram stars are still trying to be on tv. why? >> well, for me, i took it very seriously. i did an undergrad and i did a masters program, and i studied acting for two years straight intensive from 9:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. for two years...
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(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," i'm trevor noah.much, everybody. thank you so much! our guest tonight, chair of the democratic national committee, debbie wasserman-schultz is here, everybody! (cheers and applause). >> trevor: really excited for that. but seriously, though. i want to thank you so much for tuning in tonight, especially on the night of the ncaa final between north carolina and villanova. i mean everyone else-- wait, wait, where are you going, oh, whow, okay, i guess i shouldn't have told that person that. but we are back from the break, everybody. and man, last week was crazy interesting. honestly, there is only one-story i'm glad we didn't have to cover on the show. and it was this nonsense. from "the national enquirer" about how ted cruz supposedly had affairs with five women, forcing senator cruz to come forward and say that the story is complete garbage. and ted, don't worry, for the first time, everybody believes you. (laughter) everybody believes you. yeah. we are just sorry that those five women were accused of
(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," i'm trevor noah.much, everybody. thank you so much! our guest tonight, chair of the democratic national committee, debbie wasserman-schultz is here, everybody! (cheers and applause). >> trevor: really excited for that. but seriously, though. i want to thank you so much for tuning in tonight, especially on the night of the ncaa final between north carolina and villanova. i mean everyone else-- wait, wait, where...
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thank you, thank you, trevor trevor i'm here in augusta penitentiary in virginia and this place could really use a hail and hardy. and also, convicted felons should not be allowed to vote. >> trevor: hang ohang on, jordan. all kinds of people end up in prison. how you can generalize about so many potential voters? >> do you have any idea what it's like in there? i do, i did six long years watching oz. take it from me, prison is a hell hole where the language is fear and the currency is stabbing. >> trevor: okay, jordan, jordan, i feel like you haven't actually tiewkd any inmate. >> that's where you're wrong. i met two ex-cons who just finished serving their sentences. guys, come on over. ( cheers and applause ) this is darius and this is killa b. killed. >> the "b" stands for bartholemew. ( laughter ) >> trevor: first of all, welcome back to society, gentlemen. jordan just said you guys should not have the right to vote. how do you feel about that? >> this ( bleep )... is absolutely correct. >> you can't trust convicts with this electoral ( bleep ). we savages, son! >> see? >> trevor:
thank you, thank you, trevor trevor i'm here in augusta penitentiary in virginia and this place could really use a hail and hardy. and also, convicted felons should not be allowed to vote. >> trevor: hang ohang on, jordan. all kinds of people end up in prison. how you can generalize about so many potential voters? >> do you have any idea what it's like in there? i do, i did six long years watching oz. take it from me, prison is a hell hole where the language is fear and the currency...
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how can that be. >> trevor: it's global warming. >> maybe. >> trevor: it really is. >> trevor: let'sng about history. how we came to be here. when anybody thinks about the founding fathers of our nation. there are four, they are on a mountain. and what you have done in the book, you almost argue there are more founders who don't have their faces on mountains. >> mount rushmore and normally you think of the founding fathers, jefferson, washington. on the cover of my book i have billy graham, ronald regan, eleanor roosevelt, and thurgood marshall. the idea is-- there are more than four. when people talk about the founding fathers you have about 50 people who signed the declaration of independence and others at the constitutional convention. but when you think about the america you and i are living in in 2016. it's such a different place. you see it playing ow in the politics when people say, "this is not the america i grew up in." or "i feel like a stranger is it my own country." the idea of the book is who shaped america the way we live in it today, and to do that in 2016, you have to
how can that be. >> trevor: it's global warming. >> maybe. >> trevor: it really is. >> trevor: let'sng about history. how we came to be here. when anybody thinks about the founding fathers of our nation. there are four, they are on a mountain. and what you have done in the book, you almost argue there are more founders who don't have their faces on mountains. >> mount rushmore and normally you think of the founding fathers, jefferson, washington. on the cover of my...
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i'm trevor noah. thank you so much. my guest tonight is from cnn's new show "united shades of america," w. kamau bell is joining us, people! ( cheers and applause ) but first, but first, we have to talk about last night. so many records set. obviously, steph curry leading the warriors to 73 wins. that was insane. well done, golden state. that was amazing. ( applause ) but, of course, for me, especially, the bigger news was the old man putting up crazy numbers. yeah, it's true, bernie sanders got 27,000 people in washington square park last night. ( applause ) no, but, seriously, but seriously, congrats to the momba. i don't know if you watched the game but kobe was amazing, 60 points. he took more shots than a chicago cop with no body cam. don't boo kobe, he's done. let's get into the show. so, democracy. it's what separates us from the apes and the russians. ( laughter ) the point is, from an early age, we're taught that democratic means one person, one vote, and the most votes wins. like, back when i ran for class pre
i'm trevor noah. thank you so much. my guest tonight is from cnn's new show "united shades of america," w. kamau bell is joining us, people! ( cheers and applause ) but first, but first, we have to talk about last night. so many records set. obviously, steph curry leading the warriors to 73 wins. that was insane. well done, golden state. that was amazing. ( applause ) but, of course, for me, especially, the bigger news was the old man putting up crazy numbers. yeah, it's true, bernie...
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saturday. >> trevor: saturday. >> well, saturday is saturday. >> trevor: sunday. >> now you're just making up words! >> trevor: pretty sure that is a word. okay, but any day next week. >> okay, well, let's see. here we g on the 129 she's got to testify before the fbi. on the spt, she's got to testify before the fbi. 14th she's got an appointment at the genius bar. totally unrelated. >> trevor: jordan, can we be serious for a second. does hillary even want to debate? >> no, absolutely not all it does is hurt her chances. ever since she started debating bernie, her poll numbers have dropped. if she had her way there would be no more debate. or even any more primaries. she would prefer to save everyone's time just by skipping to the end part where she gets to wear the president crown. >> trevor: okay, well now, hang on. did you just break news that hillary dnt want to debate bernie at all? >> yeah. you can't break news if nobody's watching. trevor, right now all eyes are on the bas kelt ballgame. tonight i could tell you any of the things clinton says off the record and no one would he
saturday. >> trevor: saturday. >> well, saturday is saturday. >> trevor: sunday. >> now you're just making up words! >> trevor: pretty sure that is a word. okay, but any day next week. >> okay, well, let's see. here we g on the 129 she's got to testify before the fbi. on the spt, she's got to testify before the fbi. 14th she's got an appointment at the genius bar. totally unrelated. >> trevor: jordan, can we be serious for a second. does hillary even...
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trevor. >> trevor: thank you, hasan. hasan minhaj, everyone.ght back. ♪ [ hawk squawk ] start boldly with the apple that bites back. [ whip cracks ] redd's wicked apple. it's about to get wicked. nversus the lube strip. with a hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40% less friction. so, it's designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. sorry, lube strip. schi hydro®. free your skin®. the new craftsman pro series riding mowers. ♪ now available with power steering. so you can turn with ease. available with the tightest turning radius in the industry. and powerful v twin engines with up to 26 horsepower. because the beer you drink after you mow your lawn tastes better than the beer you drink after someone else mows your lawn. craftsman. when it matters. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the former governor of vermont and the former chairman of the democratic national committee. please welcome howard dean. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show. >> nice to be on the show. >> t
trevor. >> trevor: thank you, hasan. hasan minhaj, everyone.ght back. ♪ [ hawk squawk ] start boldly with the apple that bites back. [ whip cracks ] redd's wicked apple. it's about to get wicked. nversus the lube strip. with a hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40% less friction. so, it's designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. sorry, lube strip. schi hydro®. free your skin®. the new craftsman pro series riding mowers. ♪ now available with power steering. so you...
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(cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, everybody. i'm trevor noah.o much. our guest tonight from the color purple actress daniele brooks is here, everybody. but first, so much stuff happened this weekend. where do i start? i will tell you exactly where we start. with lemonade. >> boy, does beyonce know how to drop an album. >> the big reveal. >> lemonade. >> beyonce stopping the world once again dropping a visual album. >> sher sla rowd of sick resee followed by an hbo special. >> the bombshell master piece. >> setting the intersnet on fire. >> yes, setting the intermet on fire. thanks for setting the internet on fire, beyonce. that's how we get our porn, you know. got to go back to magazines now. you know how big this was? like this was huge. anything that wasn't lemonade this weekend didn't mean [bleep]. i mean president obama said he was quinn timing the number of special forces he is sending to syria, nothing. north korea launched a missile for the first time from a sub marine micking it even harder to defend against, nothing. an one of the koch
(cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, everybody. i'm trevor noah.o much. our guest tonight from the color purple actress daniele brooks is here, everybody. but first, so much stuff happened this weekend. where do i start? i will tell you exactly where we start. with lemonade. >> boy, does beyonce know how to drop an album. >> the big reveal. >> lemonade. >> beyonce stopping the world once again dropping a visual album. >> sher sla rowd...
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: hasan minaj, >> trevor: hasan minaj, with t-mobile, you pay $95/mo for a smaller network, >> trevorsan minaj, and monthly taxes and fees are always extra. with cricket, you get an unlimited plan on a bigger network... ...for $65/mo after $5 auto pay credit, and monthly taxes and fees are always included. looks like t-mobile's not all it's cracked up to be. and now for a limited time, switch to cricket and get a $50 bill credit. cricket wireless. something to smile about. ♪ ♪ take on the unexpected. the new 2016 nissan altima. built to stand out. who's the genius who puts a girl in heels on a subway grate? miss monroe, eat a snickers. why? you get a little cranky when you're hungry. better? much better. this scene will never make the cut. i think we should've taken a tarzan know where tarzan go! tarzan does not know where tarzan go. hey, excuse me, do you know where the waterfall is? waterfall? no, me tarzan, king of jungle. why don't you want to just ask somebody? if you're a couple, you fight over directions. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insu
: hasan minaj, >> trevor: hasan minaj, with t-mobile, you pay $95/mo for a smaller network, >> trevorsan minaj, and monthly taxes and fees are always extra. with cricket, you get an unlimited plan on a bigger network... ...for $65/mo after $5 auto pay credit, and monthly taxes and fees are always included. looks like t-mobile's not all it's cracked up to be. and now for a limited time, switch to cricket and get a $50 bill credit. cricket wireless. something to smile about. ♪ ♪...
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trevor. >> trevor: thank you, hasan. hasan minhaj, everyone. we'll be right back. ♪ there it is...ght under this tree. ♪ (man) some things are worth holding onto. they're hugging the tree. (man) that's why we got a subaru. or was it that tree? (man) the twenty-sixteen subaru outback. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. that would be the sound of your alarm going off.? unfortunately, your other alarm went off every few hours throughout the night... which means you're going to be alarmingly tired at work today. listen, the truth is as a parent you'll never get enough sleep. but you can get this: a great tasting 5-hour energy® shot. it'll help you be bright eyed and bushy tailed, just like him. now is the time for 5-hour energy®. ♪ with intuitive all-wheel drive. take on the unexpected. this... is how it begins... with a mighty roar... that tells the world... we're coming for you. tshoah, ha ha.ew artist. show me top male artist. my whole belieber fan group. it's not a competition, but if it was i won. xfinity x1 lets you access the greatest library of billboard music awards mom
trevor. >> trevor: thank you, hasan. hasan minhaj, everyone. we'll be right back. ♪ there it is...ght under this tree. ♪ (man) some things are worth holding onto. they're hugging the tree. (man) that's why we got a subaru. or was it that tree? (man) the twenty-sixteen subaru outback. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. that would be the sound of your alarm going off.? unfortunately, your other alarm went off every few hours throughout the night... which means you're going to be...
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. >> trevor: oh, yeah.ds like the records we love. >> trevor: old school. >> old school. >> trevor: let's talk about the album itself. i read a beautiful write-up on it and highway you talked it bit was basically a all righ letterr infant son. >> correct. >> trevor: do you not plan to speak to him? >> things happen. >> trevor: it's a beautiful story. the song we just heard was nirvana's "in bloom," i'm assuming a huge influence on you. >> yeah, when i was about 13, that record of like a bomb going off in my bedroom, so i wanted-- i thought it also captured lyrically whether he intended or not. i found that the lyrics lent themselves to a good narrative for every young boy's life around the post-pubescent age. >> trevor: you're the kind of guy i want in an emergency situation. you know on the plane when they go, "keep calm." i'm like who's going to keep calm? sturnlgil's going to keep calm. >> you have no idea. >> trevor: sturgill simpson's new album "a sailor's guide to earth" is available now. now to play
. >> trevor: oh, yeah.ds like the records we love. >> trevor: old school. >> old school. >> trevor: let's talk about the album itself. i read a beautiful write-up on it and highway you talked it bit was basically a all righ letterr infant son. >> correct. >> trevor: do you not plan to speak to him? >> things happen. >> trevor: it's a beautiful story. the song we just heard was nirvana's "in bloom," i'm assuming a huge influence on you....
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so... >> trevor: i don't think you should throw those jokes away. >> that's a pretty good joke. >> trevorually a pretty good joke. you're writing on the show as well, you're executive producing and writing on the show. you're wearing membership, many hat. isn't that stressful? >> it's like what you and all the corresponds do. it's the first time i've done thengz behind the screep. where usually i was the spoiled actor and got paid a lot of money to read the lines. there's nothing more fulfilling than vague hand in what you're saying on screen and doing and this has definitely been the most fulfilling year of my career because i've learned so much at being a producer and getting better at that. i'm a student of the game. >> trevor: when upper a stand-up, what is the worst joke you told that you loved? >> in the season finale of next week where my character does stand-up, i use one joke, a horrible, horrible, asian joke i first wrote that-- actually, my first time diit i went on comedy central. and it was a horrible asian vterinarian joke. "you never see any asian veterinarians because they
so... >> trevor: i don't think you should throw those jokes away. >> that's a pretty good joke. >> trevorually a pretty good joke. you're writing on the show as well, you're executive producing and writing on the show. you're wearing membership, many hat. isn't that stressful? >> it's like what you and all the corresponds do. it's the first time i've done thengz behind the screep. where usually i was the spoiled actor and got paid a lot of money to read the lines....
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. >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, i'm trevor noah. thank you, thank you very much, thank you. tonight's guest from unbreekable kimmy schmitt. el-- schmidt, ellie kemp certificate here, everybody. it will be so much fun. but first we turn to europe. where a tech company has invented a 2 thousand mattress that sends you a mex whenever the mattress is being used while you are away. yeah, yeah, yeah, because i mean obviously someone has to stop the threat of sleepy golden haired home invaders. no, no, there is actually another reason. >> the mattress that can tell you when your significant other is cheating. it's a mattress which claims to use ultrasonic sensors to detect when your bed is in use, and you're not at home. i just picture a european businessman in an important meeting like i'm sorry, i have to take this. it's my mattress. so the mattress is meant to catch cheaters, you know, measuring mattress bouncing which seems like a pretty roundabout way of doing that. what if your partner is just jumping on the bed. are you going to pun
. >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, i'm trevor noah. thank you, thank you very much, thank you. tonight's guest from unbreekable kimmy schmitt. el-- schmidt, ellie kemp certificate here, everybody. it will be so much fun. but first we turn to europe. where a tech company has invented a 2 thousand mattress that sends you a mex whenever the mattress is being used while you are away. yeah, yeah, yeah, because i mean obviously someone has to stop the threat of sleepy golden haired home...
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i'm not a morning person. ( laughter ) trevor. >> trevor: thank you, lewis. lewis black, everyone.ght back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪and after all the violence and double talk♪ ♪there's just a song in all the trouble and the strife♪ ♪you do the walk, ♪you do the walk of life ♪you do the walk of life ♪usic: "sex machine" by james brown ♪ ♪ ♪ (ricky gervais) verizon is the number one network in america. i know what you're thinking, they all claim stuff like that. yeah, but some of them are stretching the truth a little bit. one claimed to be four times better. we said, four times better than who? they said, four times better than we used to be. wh-wh-wha? if you're four times better than you used to be and you're still not the best, your tagline should be, "not as rubbish as we were." (vo) only verizon is the nation's most awarded wireless network ever. and now if you buy an lg g5, you get one free. threefine. love it. but come on... we just got home, we wanna eat, we wanna hang out! can't we squeeze an unofficial meal in there? we could call it linner. heck, we could call it josep
i'm not a morning person. ( laughter ) trevor. >> trevor: thank you, lewis. lewis black, everyone.ght back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪and after all the violence and double talk♪ ♪there's just a song in all the trouble and the strife♪ ♪you do the walk, ♪you do the walk of life ♪you do the walk of life ♪usic: "sex machine" by james brown ♪ ♪ ♪ (ricky gervais) verizon is the number one network in america. i know what you're thinking, they all claim stuff...
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trevor. >> trevor: thank you, hasan. hasan minhaj, everyone. be right back. [ electricity buzzing ] start boldly with the apple that bites back. redd's wicked apple. it's about to get wicked. ) verizon is the number one network in america. i know what you're thinking, they all claim stuff like that. yeah, but some of them stretch the truth a little bit. like this. faster, more reliable and better coverage than ever. and it shows the coverage there. uh, oh, hold on. oh! map is not a depiction of coverage! well, then what's the point? i'm speechless. only verizon has the largest 4g lte network in america. and now if you buy a samsung galaxy s7 edge, you get one free. who know it wasn't a day at the beach...rough it. unless someone got buried. to the fullbacks... gearheads... and those with green thumbs. to the sticky... the stinky... even those who get a little icky. to all the beautiful mess makers, keep it up... with delta in2ition plus h2okinetic, you can. see what delta can do. muddling through your morning is nothing new. ...your nose is the
trevor. >> trevor: thank you, hasan. hasan minhaj, everyone. be right back. [ electricity buzzing ] start boldly with the apple that bites back. redd's wicked apple. it's about to get wicked. ) verizon is the number one network in america. i know what you're thinking, they all claim stuff like that. yeah, but some of them stretch the truth a little bit. like this. faster, more reliable and better coverage than ever. and it shows the coverage there. uh, oh, hold on. oh! map is not a...
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>> trevor: no, it's been, like air, week now. >> i spent time with cops in camden, new jersey. >> trevorde? >> not being arrested side. they were doing the whole thing with community policing. we have to have more awkward conversations, reach across the aisle and figure out a way to get along in this united states of america. >> trevor: the stand-up, when is the special? >> april 29, called "semiprominent negro." >> trevor: on showtime? >> on showtime. >> trevor: is there can theyi on cnn. w. kamau bell! (brian)i'm brian. i was in the military for 18 years but i smoked. and i got heart disease. my tip is, it's hard to serve your country when you're too weak to put on your uniform. (announcer)you can quit. for free help, call 1-800-quit-now. thank you so much. did you say honey? hey, try some? you know i'm always looking for real honey for honey nut cheerios. well you've come to the right place. mind if i have another taste? not at all mmm part of a complete breakfast ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ here we go, go, go ♪ ♪ from bank of america to buy a new gym bag. before earning 1% cash back everyw
>> trevor: no, it's been, like air, week now. >> i spent time with cops in camden, new jersey. >> trevorde? >> not being arrested side. they were doing the whole thing with community policing. we have to have more awkward conversations, reach across the aisle and figure out a way to get along in this united states of america. >> trevor: the stand-up, when is the special? >> april 29, called "semiprominent negro." >> trevor: on showtime?...
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. >> trevor: welcome back. reasonie chieng investigates the latest advances in artificial intelligee for today's future now. >> thanks, trevor. artificial intelligence, some day it may allow computers to cure illnesses, combat climate change or even win the bachelor. she can do everything but get in the hot tub. but right now this is what ai is up to. >> man versus machine is about to get under way. >> from south korea is the dominant figure in the ancient chinese game of go. his opponent, in a best of five tournament worth more than a million dollars, is alphago, an artificial intelligence system developed by the google project named deep mind. >> that's right, google could have made a computer named alphacancer but let's focus on the world's of00s moth popular board game insed. >> the ancient chinese game was considered to complex for compute eros master. this are more possible moves in go than adams dissh dwsh a a tomorrows in the universities. the world champion lost the fifth and final game today leavek th
. >> trevor: welcome back. reasonie chieng investigates the latest advances in artificial intelligee for today's future now. >> thanks, trevor. artificial intelligence, some day it may allow computers to cure illnesses, combat climate change or even win the bachelor. she can do everything but get in the hot tub. but right now this is what ai is up to. >> man versus machine is about to get under way. >> from south korea is the dominant figure in the ancient chinese game...
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yes, yes, yeahm do it, do it. >> trevor: oh. >> yep, yep. >> trevor: jordan what are you doing, we'ree show. >> this is so real, it's like on's on the set right now. >> trevor: jordan, jordan, you are on the set. are you doing this in front of a whole audience. turn it off right now. >> i can't turn it off, i can't turn it off-- it is completely locked in. oh, there it is. whooo! i'm going to need your laundry card. >> trevor: jordan klepper, everyone, we'll be right back. this is smith & forge. a superior hard apple cider inspired by the cider the pioneers drank. and they traveled this country... ...on foot. smith & forge. hard cider the way it's 'sposed to taste. ) verizon is the number one network in america. i know what you're thinking, they all claim stuff like that. yeah, but some of them stretch the truth a little bit. like this. faster, more reliable and better coverage than ever. and it shows the coverage there. uh, oh, hold on. oh! map is not a depiction of coverage! well, then what's the point? i'm speechless. only verizon has the largest 4g lte network in america. and now
yes, yes, yeahm do it, do it. >> trevor: oh. >> yep, yep. >> trevor: jordan what are you doing, we'ree show. >> this is so real, it's like on's on the set right now. >> trevor: jordan, jordan, you are on the set. are you doing this in front of a whole audience. turn it off right now. >> i can't turn it off, i can't turn it off-- it is completely locked in. oh, there it is. whooo! i'm going to need your laundry card. >> trevor: jordan klepper, everyone,...
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i'm trevor noah.y guest tonight, prison reform advocate and author of writing my wrongs, shaka senghor is joining us, people. (cheering, applause) but to start today's show, let's, uh, let's talk about the vinyl sofa stuffed with racist refrigerator poetry. i'm talking about donald trump. (laughter) with his ever-increasing lead in the republican primaries, a lot of people have started asking the question: how dangerous would a donald trump presidency be? newsman: the economist magazine's intelligence unit has now listed a trump presidency among its top ten threats to the world. newsman: in its updated global risk assessment, a trump presidency would be as dangerous to the world economy as the possibility of islamic terrorists destabilizing global growth. goddamn! (laughter) trump is as dangerous as terrorism? what a slap in the face to isis. -(laughter) -50,000 fighters and one man is the same level of world threat. yeah, like maybe one day we'll be flying and say, "i don't want to alarm anybody, "bu
i'm trevor noah.y guest tonight, prison reform advocate and author of writing my wrongs, shaka senghor is joining us, people. (cheering, applause) but to start today's show, let's, uh, let's talk about the vinyl sofa stuffed with racist refrigerator poetry. i'm talking about donald trump. (laughter) with his ever-increasing lead in the republican primaries, a lot of people have started asking the question: how dangerous would a donald trump presidency be? newsman: the economist magazine's...
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i'm not a morning person. ( laughter ) trevor. >> trevor: thank you, lewis. lewis black, everyone.e right back. ( cheers and applause ) 5-hour energy® presents... why are you so tired? ahh, the "after lunch food coma." we've all been there. you had planned on ordering the salad, but the pasta and fries looked so good. now, you're trying to find a place to catch a few zzzs... without the boss catching you. next time, grab a great tasting 5-hour energy® shot. it'll help you stay alert and productive... no matter what's on the menu. now is the time for 5-hour energy®. from virtually anywhere. to warn of danger it's been smashed and driven. it's perceptive enough to detect other vehicles on the road. it's been shaken and pummeled. it's innovative enough to brake by itself, park itself and help you steer. it's been in the rain... and dragged through the mud. the 2016 gle. it's where brains meet brawn. lease the gle350 for $599 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. (neighbor) yeah, so we're just bringing your son home. (dad) ah! greetings, neighbor. neighbor boy. he really loves ou
i'm not a morning person. ( laughter ) trevor. >> trevor: thank you, lewis. lewis black, everyone.e right back. ( cheers and applause ) 5-hour energy® presents... why are you so tired? ahh, the "after lunch food coma." we've all been there. you had planned on ordering the salad, but the pasta and fries looked so good. now, you're trying to find a place to catch a few zzzs... without the boss catching you. next time, grab a great tasting 5-hour energy® shot. it'll help you stay...
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(cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah!ou guys are amazing! thank you so much, everybody! (cheers and applause) thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! my guest tonight, i could not be more excited, former republican presidential candidate and renowned neurosurgeon dr. ben carson is here, everybody! (cheers and applause) yes! but first, today is the new york primary, yes, the 2016 candidates have been working it hard the past few weeks and no one more so than donald trump. i mean, he held a rally up in buffalo last night, a place famous for creating the style of chicken wings he rubs on his face every morning. and now trump is expected to win big tonight, which is no surprise. he is a native new yorker and not only was he shaped by new york city, he was here on its darkest day. and as he told his supporters last night, he never forgets. >> i think what i want to do is i want to talk just for a second, i wrote this out and it's very close to my heart because i was down there and i watched our police and our firemen down
(cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah!ou guys are amazing! thank you so much, everybody! (cheers and applause) thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! my guest tonight, i could not be more excited, former republican presidential candidate and renowned neurosurgeon dr. ben carson is here, everybody! (cheers and applause) yes! but first, today is the new york primary, yes, the 2016 candidates have been working it hard the past few...
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yes, yes, yeahm do it, do it. >> trevor: oh. >> yep, yep. >> trevor: jordan what are you doing, we'reing the show. >> this is so real, it's like on's on the set right now. >> trevor: jordan, jordan, you are on the set. are you doing this in front of a whole audience. turn it off right now. >> i can't turn it off, i can't turn it off-- it is completely locked in. oh, there it is. whooo! i'm going to need your laundry card. >> trevor: jordan klepper, everyone, we'll be right back. before earning enough cash back from bank of america to buy a new gym bag. before earning 1% cash back everywhere, every time and 2% back at the grocery store. even before he got 3% back on gas. kenny used his bankamericard cash rewards credit card to join the wednesday night league. because he loves to play hoops. not jump through them. that's the excitement of rewarding connections. apply online or at a bank of america near you. the gillette mach 3 turbo still feels better after 10 shaves than a disposable on it's first. mach 3 blades have twice the coatings. for a closer shave with zero redness. get an incr
yes, yes, yeahm do it, do it. >> trevor: oh. >> yep, yep. >> trevor: jordan what are you doing, we'reing the show. >> this is so real, it's like on's on the set right now. >> trevor: jordan, jordan, you are on the set. are you doing this in front of a whole audience. turn it off right now. >> i can't turn it off, i can't turn it off-- it is completely locked in. oh, there it is. whooo! i'm going to need your laundry card. >> trevor: jordan klepper,...
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yes, yes, yeahm do it, do it. >> trevor: oh. >> yep, yep. >> trevor: jordan what are you doing, we'rel, it's like on's on the set right now. >> trevor: jordan, jordan, you are on the set. are you doing this in front of a whole audience. turn it off right now. >> i can't turn it off, i can't turn it off-- it is completely locked in. oh, there it is. whooo! i'm going to need your laundry card. >> trevor: jordan klepper, everyone, we'll be right back. hey there, can i help you with anything? hey siri, what's at&t's latest offer? oh, i don't think that siri can... right now, switch to at&t for an iphone and get one free. wow, is that right? yeah, it's basically... yes. that is the current offer from at&t. okay siri, you don't know everything. i know you asked me to call you the at&t hostess with the mostest okay, shut her down. turn it off. right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. a superior hard apple cider inspired by the cider the pioneers drank. and they traveled this country... ...on foot. smith & forge. hard cider the way it's 'sposed to taste. w
yes, yes, yeahm do it, do it. >> trevor: oh. >> yep, yep. >> trevor: jordan what are you doing, we'rel, it's like on's on the set right now. >> trevor: jordan, jordan, you are on the set. are you doing this in front of a whole audience. turn it off right now. >> i can't turn it off, i can't turn it off-- it is completely locked in. oh, there it is. whooo! i'm going to need your laundry card. >> trevor: jordan klepper, everyone, we'll be right back. hey there,...
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(cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah!ou guys are amazing. thank you so much. my guests tonight from the new movie "born to be blue" ethan hawke is here! (cheers and applause) but before we begin, the other day on the show we talked a little about artificial intelligence and how computers are learning to play games, solve puzzles and enslave humans. but it turns out they're going to start by taking over twitter. >> microsoft adding artificial intelligence to social media. company launched a chatbox named tay to learn how millennials communicate. >> created by mashing together public data. >> twitter is using emogies and short hand. >> she's expected to speak bert as she talks with teens and young adults. >> trevor: wow, robots on twitter, are you at sara corner, follow me if you want to live. (laughter) here's what i love, microsoft programmed a robot to learn how humans communicate and the avenue they chose was twitter. how did that work out? well, these are some of tay's actual tweets. she started out sharing an upbeat,
(cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah!ou guys are amazing. thank you so much. my guests tonight from the new movie "born to be blue" ethan hawke is here! (cheers and applause) but before we begin, the other day on the show we talked a little about artificial intelligence and how computers are learning to play games, solve puzzles and enslave humans. but it turns out they're going to start by taking over twitter. >>...
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i'm not a morning person. ( laughter ) trevor. >> trevor: thank you, lewis. lewis black, everyone.we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) out out! get get get! grrr! did you find everything okay, sir? whaaaaat? the bud light party believes in change. that's why bud light has a new look... and we want to share it with everyone... from our national parks... to our furthest shores... jackpot! to your living room. look under your seats! [squeals of delight] still the same refreshing bud light. with a new look. ♪ (man) hmm. ♪hat do you think? (stranger) good mornin'! ♪ (store p.a.) attention shoppers, there's a lost couple in the men's department. (vo) there's a great big un-khaki world out there. explore it in a subaru crosstrek. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. ♪ no, you're not ♪ yogonna watch it! ♪tch it! ♪ ♪ we can't let you download on the goooooo! ♪ ♪ you'll just have to miss it! ♪ yeah, you'll just have to miss it! ♪ ♪ we can't let you download... uh, no thanks. i have x1 from xfinity so... don't fall for directv. xfinity lets you download your shows from anywhere.
i'm not a morning person. ( laughter ) trevor. >> trevor: thank you, lewis. lewis black, everyone.we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) out out! get get get! grrr! did you find everything okay, sir? whaaaaat? the bud light party believes in change. that's why bud light has a new look... and we want to share it with everyone... from our national parks... to our furthest shores... jackpot! to your living room. look under your seats! [squeals of delight] still the same refreshing bud...
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(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome to the daily show. i'm trevor noah. thank you so much, everybody. thank you so much. my guest tonight, i'm really excited about this transgender activist and founder of transtech social angelica ross is here, people. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: but first, last night, wisconsin. the land of cheese, beer and cheesy beer puke. they hell their presidential primaries. and it was an eventful night on both sides of the aisle. for the democrats bern kroa sanders clinched his sixth win in a row. sixth win, in a row. yeah. sixth win and then like a true socialist he immediately tried to split those wins with hillary, no, bernie, no. that's why it's so hard for socialists to win. stop sharing. but the bigger news out of last night came from the republican side where donald trump lost, people. donald trump lost. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: he lost! he lost to ted cruz. oh, come on. now you just sound like ted cruz's family, stop that. now let's focus on the positive for now, you know. trump got grilled. and he got grill
(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome to the daily show. i'm trevor noah. thank you so much, everybody. thank you so much. my guest tonight, i'm really excited about this transgender activist and founder of transtech social angelica ross is here, people. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: but first, last night, wisconsin. the land of cheese, beer and cheesy beer puke. they hell their presidential primaries. and it was an eventful night on both sides of the aisle. for the democrats...