from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight, ta-nehisi coates is joining us! (cheers and applause) first, what a crazy weekend it was. the entire country was collectively hypnotized by justin bieber's latest release, his penis, which was the most talked about canadian chubby since rob ford. then mexico beat the u.s. in the playoff and it wasn't just about soccer. it was about pride. if donald trump had been coach, this wouldn't have happened

can trevor noah fill that chair? >> i think he's not going to fill the chair the way jon stewart did. already after one week, who could be as politically engaged and passionate as stewart? whether you agreed with him or not, you felt he actually knew what went on in congress in 1948. you know what i'm saying? he loved this stuff. he was the c-span. this is a guy who would watch c-span on a sunday night. trevor noah, how could he possibly have that kind of american political background? i think trevor noah has grace. he has energy. he is a funny guy. he may make them actually younger in that audience. i think the first night they were down six years already in terms of demographic. >> yes. >> to me, trevor noah was charming. he deliver the scripted lines well, but watching his interview, for example, with chris christie, but don't think as a south african he has much of a feel to the american politics or confidence to express it. the question seemed to me to be not -- he wasn't -- you didn't have a sense he had a worl

from "the daily show," trevor noah is here. and we'll be right back with anna faris. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you proud presenters of humankinda. guest: pc does what!? (through the door) pc does amazingly thin designs. pc does what no pc hasdone before. does yours? i will take beauty into my own hands. olay regenerist. it regenerates surface cells. new skin is revealed in only 5 days. without drastic measures. stunningly youthful. award-winning skin. from the world's #1. so, i needed to deposit a check. i was about to head to the bank, but out of nowhere it just started to rain. like really rain. [clap of thunder] i did not want to go out. [clap of thunder] but then i was like duh, just use your phone. mobile-deposit-techno-thingy to the rescue. i'm rayna. and i bank human at td bank. phil! oh no... (under his breath) hey man! hey peter. (unenthusiastic) oh... ha ha ha! joanne? is that you? it's me... you don't look a day over 70. am i right? jingle jingle. if you're peter

from "the daily show," trevor noah is here. and we'll be right back with anna faris. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by jet blue. guest: pc does what!? (through the door) pc does amazingly thin designs. pc does what no pc has done before. does yours? i will take beauty into my own hands. olay regenerist. it regenerates surface cells. new skin is revealed in only 5 days. without drastic measures. stunningly youthful. award-winning skin. from the world's #1. olay, [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. " the daily show" on comedy central, trevor noah is here. then, this is his album. brett eldredge from the samsung stage. we have a big show tomorrow, harrison ford, from "scandal" katie lowes, our tenth annual half and half halloween costume pageant where we take one costume to form a single double super costume. last year we had unicorn on the cob. part unicorn, part corn on the cob. walter whiteout, walter white and a bottle of whiteout. and george washingtoning machi

from "the daily show," trevor noah is here. and we'll be right back with anna faris. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by jet blue. guest: pc does what!? (through the door) pc does amazingly thin designs. npc does what no pc has done before. does yours? i will take beauty into my own hands. olay regenerist. it regenerates surface cells. new skin is revealed in only 5 days. without drastic measures. stunningly youthful. r award-winning skin. r from the world's #1. v olay, hand-crafted...layer by layer. r the new macchiato from dunkin' donuts. experience the flavor of fall with a new hot or iced pumpkin macchiato. my name is 36 spring street. it's hard being a house. rever stand in one place since 1953? i've been rained on. snowed on. hit in the face. hey, get your paws off my lawn! ri've had three remodels ...no anesthesia! rone time, i passed this through my mail slot. every day it's something. but hey, it's my job. i keep this one in. this one out. and this one busy. r then ne

from "the daily show," trevor noah is here. and we'll be right back with anna faris. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you proud presenters of humankinda. guest: pc does what!? (through the door) pc does amazingly thin designs. pc does what no pc hasdone before. does yours? i will take beauty into my own hands. olay regenerist. it regenerates surface cells. new skin is revealed in only 5 days. without drastic measures. stunningly youthful. award-winning skin. from the world's #1. tt2w`tiy@4d/ bt@qujt tt2w`tiy@4d/ "a@qef0 tt2w`tiy@4d/ bm@qnm< tt4w`tiy@4d/" dztq y1\ tt4w`tiy@4d/" entq )5< tt4w`tiy@4d/" gzt& 02d tt4w`tiy@4d/" hnt& <( tt4w`tiy@4d/" iztq jup tt4w`tiy@4d/" jntq x%0 tt4w`tiy@4d/" lzt& @hl [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight the new host of "the daily show" on comedy central, trevor noah is here. then, this is his album. it's called "illinois." brett eldredge from the samsung stage. we have a big show tomorrow, harrison ford, from "scandal" katie lowes,

from "the daily show," trevor noah is here.ight back with anna faris. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by jet blue. proud presenters of humankinda. ♪ guest: pc does what!? (through the door) pc does amazingly thin designs. pc does what no pc has done before. does yours? i will take beauty into my own hands. olay regenerist. it regenerates surface cells. new skin is revealed in only 5 days. without drastic measures. stunningly youthful. award-winning skin. from the world's #1. olay, your best beautiful thank you so much. did you say honey? hey, try some? mmm that is tasty. is it real? of course... are you? nope animated you know i'm always looking for real honey for honey nut cheerios well you've come to the right place. great, mind if i have another taste? not at all mmm you're all right bud? never better i don't know if he likes that. yeah part of the complete breakfast [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight the new host of "the daily show" on comedy centra

central from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show " with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! our guests tonight, msnbc host rachel maddow will be joining us today! (cheers and applause) yep! but first, let's talk about prison. (laughter) the big house. america's second worst place to stay after red roof inn. (laughter) this month, two unlikely groups came together to change that >> a criminal committee on criminal justice reform with bipartisan support >> neither republican nor democrat or liberal or conservative. this is an american issue >> trevor: criminal justice is an issue everyone can come together on not like the divisive like healthcare. it's about time people pay attention because it's getting out of hand. >> the united states is home to just 5% of all the people on earth. but it counts for more than a quarter of the world's prison population. is that yeah. wow. a quarter of the world's prison population. america really loves prison. no, no, going to jail is such a big part of american

i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, seth rogen is joining us, seth rogen is here, everybody! (cheers and applause) >> trevor: yes, yes, yes. but before all that, breaking news. it's awesome. fans drink some apple cider and start planning for halloween. who is my first one so i'm going as sexy iphone 6s. yeah, the s stands for slutty. >> let's take one look back. >> the nation has a craze of shutting down planned parenthood. now watch me eliminate access to women's health care. you guys probably heard the radio version. it all began with a series of videos meant to prove that planned parenthood was selling secret-- secret tissue for profit. these secretly formed videos were made by i assume some sort of pro-life james bond. which does not exist. because james bond is obviously pro-choice. so think about it, when the kind of pussy you can get is described as "galore" you are going to have a few accidents. (laughter) ♪ ♪ ♪ so it turns out the videos were edited to make it look like planned parenthood was profiting off baby parts. but just because the videos from manipulated doesn

trevor noah and music from brett eldredge is still to come. but first, when it comes to halloween, butterfinger is the only candy worth having no matter who you have to tririck to get it. but n't ta my word for it, take it from my pal guillermo. >> trick or treat! >> trick. >> here's my thumb, i'm going to take it off, ready? oh. ta-da! i'm going to put it back on now. ta-da! not good enough for a butterfinger. that trick was terrible. >> trick or trt! >> trick. hold this. thank you. >> trick or treat. >> trick. >> sign the note, please. >> sorry. >> it was a trick! >> it was a trick. >> trick or treat! >> trick. but it's not even a trick. seriously? not good enough for a butterfinger. >> trick or treat! >> no, no! not my butterfingers! >> dicky: give those monsters what they want get your fingers on some buerfingers. >> jmy: we'll be right back with trevor noah! [ cheers and applause ] you don't have to pick up a bag of butterfinger for halloween. maybe your house looks good... covered in toilepaper. give those monsters what they wantnt. get

i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, new jersey governor and presidential candidate, chris christie is here. ( cheers and applause ) that's right. that's right. promoting his new album, "i wanna-be president." but here we are, since i've been in america a lot of people have asked me if i'm having a hard time adjusting to living in the country, and the truth is, yes. some things are harder to understand than others. for instance, why do you let the baby lie in the ( bleep ) sandbox in your bathrooms? and why did you let that giant mouse rule a magical kingdom within your borders? no, no, not that, i was talking about the other one. yeah. ( laughter ) ( applause ) luckily, there are things that do remind me of home. for instance, having a black president. and the difficulty of talking about race relations, especially when the police are involved. >> the only people in our society that don't believe all lives matter are generally liberals. >> we don't need to say all lives matter because white-- white cit

trevor noah has grace. he has energy. he is a funny guy. that audience the first night they were down six years already in terms of demographics. >> to me, trevor noah was charming and delivered the scripted line but watching the interview with chris christie ii don't think as a south african he has a feel more american politics or the confidence to express it so the questions were ...he did not have a sense he had a worldview and main it is unfair after only a week but it was the key to the success. >> opening night on speaker boehner you felt he was reading a script he was not engaged but maybe people think you want the ideology of jon stewart, this guy doesn't have ideology, so give him a break. >> but it is a comedy show if he is funny...they have great writers. it is important to have a world view? that is what made the show special? jon stewart's humor was fueled by his anger in politics? >> i agree. trevor noah probably will not do a piece to blast us. >> look, it has only been a week. david zurawik, thanks for stopping by. still to

meanwhile, i'm still waiting for my apology from starbucks for writing trevor noah on my latte. i don't know how that happened. i am not him. thank you. thank you very much. ( cheers and applause ) also u, rupert murdoch endorses ben carson by tweeting that he wants a real black president. because if anyplace knows what it really means to be black it's an 84-year-old white australian billionaire. it's true. and a texas mom stands up to a publisher after a textbook refers to slaves as workers. tell you what, texas-- if slaves were workers maybe it's time to start talking about backpay. this is "the nightly show." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: yeah! man! what a great crowd. thank you very much. thank you, i appreciate it. you know that means a lot. you know that means a lot to me, especially on a special day like today, 65th birthday, you guys. and not only that, there's a gentleman up top who is going to buy beers for everybody. ( cheers and applause ) i think it's fantastic. so-- and we've got a great show for you tonight, too. oh, and

i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, democratic presidential candidate martin o'malley is here, people! (applause) yes, and we love saw gov fler o'malley at last week's debate and just today we got the results we had all been waiting for. >> for the first national poll since cnn's record-breaking democratic debate sowt and shows that hillary clinton was the clear winner. nearly two thirds of democrats polled say that clinton ruled the stage. (laughter). >> trevor: you gave chafee an a? cnn is heartless. you couldn't give the man a zero? at least a zero. a zero means you got nothing. it doesn't even look-- look at that. it looks like they censored a kus word or something, like he got 1% and chaify-- chafee got [bleep], that's what it looks like. anyway, so anyone watching cnn saw hillary declared the winner of the debate. but for those without don't pay for cable, the result was very different. >> most political analysts say hillary clinton won that debate but online bernie sarynds won hands done. >> be

. >>> and trevor noah with "the daily

central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! cheeps.(cheers and applause) middle clas♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, comedian and actor the tenacious jack black is here! (cheers and applause) but first, these days feels like you can't turn on the tv without see ago zombie, a kardashian or a fantasy football ad. >> the daily fact is i baseball >> the best adrenally rush ever. since august 1, draft's spent $81 million on ads that aired more than $22,000 times. >> trevor: almost as many times as i've seen the titanic in theaters and i still say there was room for jack on that board! (laughter) now, when somebody hear fantasy football, they think quidditch or lebron james playing unicorn polo, but fantasy football is when you manage a fake team made up of real players and if they do good in real games your fantasy team is awarded real points. used to you threw 20 bucks into a pool and have something to talk about with your friends long after you had nothing to talk about with your friend

i'm trevor noah.er o'malley at last week's debate and just today we got the results we had all been waiting for. >> for the first national poll since cnn's record-breaking democratic debate sowt and shows that hillary clinton was the clear winner. nearly two thirds of democrats polled say that clinton ruled the stage. (laughter). >> trevor: you gave chafee an a? cnn is heartless. you couldn't give the man a zero? at least a zero. a zero means you got nothing. it doesn't even look-- look at that. it looks like they censored a kus word orom

headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight, ta-nehisi coates is joining us! (cheers and applause) first, what a crazy weekend it was. the entire country was collectively hypnotized by justin bieber's latest release, his penis, which was the most talked about canadian chubby since rob ford. then mexico beat the u.s. in the playoff and it wasn't just about soccer. it was about pride. if donald trump had been coach, this wouldn't have happened because they would have had a more effective war. but the biggest story of the weekend took place in d.c., the 20th anniversary of the million man march. ou>> the million man march, this have turned around. >> the overwhelming race factor is not a problem anymore. >> racism is on its last leg. to commemorate this victory and end racism, i join hundreds of thousands of people on the national mall and boy were they excited to celebrate! >> if you're here just to celebrate, you are here for the wron

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i am trevor noah! our guest tonight, famed author and scientist richard dawkins is joining us! (cheers and applause) yes! but first, as you may or may not know, the democratic debate just finished. i can't believe cnn just canceled it. (laughter) and reran the republican debate. that was heartless. i'm going to need time to think about this. so we'll cover it tomorrow. but right now, seeing as it's the month of october, it's time for a spoooooky story, which brings us to our new halloween segment -- my twisted tales of inside the beltway terror! mwah-hahahaha! i'm told americans think this is scary. (laughter) the story begins in a house upon a hill full of spooky skeletons covered in organs and flesh and clothing. the people lost their leader, a haunted tree man with bark for skin! they say you can still hear him roam the halls at night crying. no one knows why. (laughter) it's shining in your eyes. that's a scary thing

headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, ryan adams is here. ryan adams is here playing from the album "1989". that's right. wow. but first, by now as you may have heard, a few hours ago, there was a tragic event that took place in oregon, and you know, normally in one of these situations i'll just speak from the heart. but, honestly, this isn't a normal situation for me. i haven't had the time to feel, let alone think about everything that's happening. and i'm sure it's true for many people out there. so right now, we can only express our grief for the people who are lost, and i guess i can do what i do best, and that is try and make people laugh. so let's do our show. in the time that i've been here, i've been following the presidential race and i've noticed a few pieces of conventional wisdom have formed around the canvas, none more than with drusm. >> six in 10 americans believe trump is unqualified to serve as polaroi

this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i am trevor noah our guest tonight, whitney wolfe, the founder and c.e.o. of bumble, a dating app at connects single people with swarms of bees. (cheers and applause) also joining us is me! yes! (cheers and applause) so i'm back for day two. very glad when i came in this morning to find my security card still worked. that's a good sign. of course, in all the excitement, i lost track of yesterday's "actual" big news. it was the start of the u.n. general assembly right across town, and all eyes were on world's political all-stars -- the u.s.! russia! iran! uganda. i'm just kidding about uganda. (laughter) that's when the media went in the hall to charge their phones. they don't care about you guys. hi, uganda. but the focus was on presidents obama and putin because they were set to meet for the first time in nearly a year, after disagreeing about ukraine. putin was, like, dibs on ukraine! obama was, like, nuh-uh. it was highly

i'm trevor noah.guest tonight, comedian and author, the world-champion judah friedlander is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) that's right. in our top story, though, last night, huge news coming out of canada. >> drake has released a video for his hit song "hot lin bling." ♪ used to call me on my cell phone when you need my love ♪ >> trevor: what the hell, drake. what the actual hell were you doing there? what are those moves? you're holding every single mixed race person back. do you know how hard we've worked to be called black, and you do this to us, drake? what are those ?iewfs what are you doing? i hope this was a joke. so last night was big-- big news for fans of canadian rappers, but it also had a little something for fans of obscure canadian

. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily inthoa trevor noah.(cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: yeah! welcome to the daily show. i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, star of the new movie "room" brie larson is here, everybody. (applause) but first the big news today, the media has been in a frenzy the past few weeks trying to predict whether or not vice president joe biden would, in fact, be running for nonvice president. at the level of hype that can only be described as bad [bleep]. >> the big question, is vice president joe biden running for president. >> is scwoa biden in or out. >> all indications are internally that all systems are go. >> joe's not going to run. >> joe biden will get in, i'm quite confident. >> a frenzy of speculation. >> hang on his every words. >> a serious waiting game and democrats are sort of biting their nails, many of them are on edge. >> trevor: they're biting their nails. they're on edg

i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, seth rogen is joining us, seth rogen is here, everybody! ) >> trevor: yes, yes, yes. but before all that, breaking news. it's awesome. fans drink some apple cider and start planning for halloween. who is my first one so i'm going as sexy iphone 6s. yeah, the s stands for slutty. >> let's take one look back. >> the nation has a craze of shutting down planned parenthood. now watch me eliminate access to women's health care. you guys probably heard the radio version. it all began with a series of videos meant to prove that planned parenthood was selling secret-- secret tissue for profit. these secretly formed videos were made by i assume some sort of pro-life james bond. which does not exist. because james bond is obviously pro-choice. so think about it, when the kind of