please welcome trevor noah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: trevor noah! great to see you!ve to act like we didn't see each other now. >> jimmy: i know, exactly. >> yeah. >> jimmy: dude, you were a a stud. i saw you all dressed up. here's a picture of you and i. >> who is that handsome fellow? oh, wow. look at that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's from the thing last night. and you looked great, by the way. >> you looked like i caught you in new york and, like, you're the celebrity and i'm some random person. look how happy i look in that picture. [ laughter ] and look at your face. that's how i look. looks, i'm like, "jimmy fallon! ahh!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: jimmy show. dude, i'm so glad you're here. >> thank you so much, man. nothing but teachers in the audience tonight. >> thank you! [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> jimmy: isn't that cool? i thought it'd be fun to ask you, do you have a favorite teacher? do you have a teacher moment that you -- >> i had so many amazing -- i had favorite teachers for different reasons. i had some teachers who were my favor

i'm trevor noah.y guest tonight, she's the co-host of "cbs this morning," the author of a new book and one of my favorite people in the world, gayle king is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) but first, i know a lot of people think we at "the daily show" are only haters when it comes to the white house. that's not true. i've always been a fan of melania trump, as a fellow immigrant she inspires me. i know i will never become president but if i work hard i might become first lady. she's my role model. which is why today pla melania p is in my thoughts. >> melania trump is undergoing surgery for a benign cyst in her kidney. >> mrs. trump is expected to remain in the military hospital for a week. >> it could be because she's the first lady and this they want to pay extra attention. >> trevor: yeah, she's staying an extra week. i feel like after a couple of hours the doctor told her she could go home and melania is, like, no, i should stay until you check everything out, i stay longer! okay, well, m

trevor noah cemented his place using his unique comic voice to speak truth to power every night on the daily show. but noah's past with comedy central is an amazing story in its own right. as his memoir says he was literally born of crime in apartheid south africa. father of a white father and black mother. now as he puts it he has broken into the world's elite. recognized by "time" magazine as one of the hundred most influential people of 2018. i spoke with trevor noah before his performance at the stadium. the gig that coinced with the royal wedding. his show is "end of days" tour. i asked him about finding lafltdlafltd -- finding laugher in the shadow of the apocalyptic. >> what is this end of days? >> i call it the end of days. people feel like it is. it is end of days, war, governments switching over. populism. sentiment and feeling online of people feeling like it is end of days. end of days its upon us. i figured if it is going to be the end of the world you may as well have one more comedy tour. that's why i call it end of days comedy. >> how do you think it will assuage people

i'm trevor noah!y guest tonight is a democratic congressman from texas, joaquin castro is joining us, everyone! ( cheers and applause ) but first, over the past few weeks you may have noticed a lot of stories about black people getting the cops called on them for no good reason, like for moving into their own apartment, for staying at an airbnb, for golfing too slowly, it has been exhausting. unfortunately, for any black people looking to take a nap, i got some bad news. >> yale university officials say they're deeply troubled by a raicialtly sensitive incident involving two black students. a black student shot individual you of a white student who called police on her. she called the cops because she saw a blackwoman sleeping and thought she was an intruder. >> trevor: sleeping is literally the least threatening thing a person can do. what did she tell the cops? yeah, i know she's sleeping but who knows what she's dreaming of. yeah, i know, but the last time they were dreaming, they got to vote. get

> introfrom comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tuning in! i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight, world renowned magician david blaine is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) but first, if you have a friend in indiana who mysteriously showed up to your potluck with a solid gold iphone, i may know why. >> it seems like a dream come true, thousands of dollars if cash littering an indiana highway with drivers jumping out of their cars to "help collect it." the money came from an armored brinks truck that burst open sending a reported $600,000 flying everywhere. this morning an investigation is underway as police try to recover the cash still missing. >> we're granting full amnesty, full immunity of any prosecution if they just call us and say, hey, i picked up some of this money, i'd like to give it back. ( laughter ) >> trevor: no, i'm sorry, mr. policeman. if people picked up the money they don't have to give it

playing] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning if! take a seat! come on, no, no! no! that's amazing, but no! i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. our guest tonight, the poetry editor of the "new yorker" out with a new book on what it means to be brown, kevin young is joining us, everyone! keepers but first -- but first, today, president trump was at the white house hosting president's bu boo buhari of ni. but trump probably thought he was meeting with ray charles. remember when trump called african countries shit holes? that came up. >> did you address his comments earlier this year when he reportedly used vulgar language to describe african nations? >> i'm not sure about, you know, the validity or whether that allegation against the president was true or not, so the best thing for me is to keep quiet. >> we didn't discuss it, and you do have some countries that are in very bad shape and very tough places to live

i'm trevor noah! so good to have you!ht's guest -- tonight's guest, presidential historian jon meacham is joining us, everyone! ( cheers and applause ) but first, by now, you've probably seen the footage out of hawaii where a previously chilled-out volcano recently stepped up its game. luckily, no one has been hurt because the lava moves really slowly, but it's still destroying homes and property, and i'm not going to lie, the first thing i thought when i saw this was, wow, obama will go to any lengths to destroy his ebirth certificate. this is insane. ( laughter ) now hawaii is not only dealing with the volcano, it also has to deal with idiots. >> a scary situation happening in slow motion. lava is continuing to flow on hawaiias big island and authorities have a stark warning to tourists stay away from it. experts say there's no way to predict when the kilauea volcano will start erupting, toxic gases are a threat and the vicious molten lava is claiming homes and other structures. >> trevor: who has to be warned to stay a

i'm trevor noah!y guest tonight, star of the new movie "action point" and the man who won our hearts by crushing his nuts, johnny knoxville is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) but first, but first, we were off for a week and it's so great to be back on the air. so much happened while we were gone. we got the british remake of "get out." god himself got #metoo'd. we'll be able to binge watch the obamas, the naval announced players are welcomed to publicly protest as long as they do it in private. my favorite story is what happened in france, a story that climbed to the top of the news. >> a man who migrated from west africa to paris hailed a hero after a diring spiderman-style rescue of a 4-year-old. this is an amateur video that captured the boy dangling in a balcony saturday. mamadou gassama scaled the building, climbed to the fifth floor just in time to save the boy's life. the french president aworded him with citizenship and a job as a firefighter. ( applause ) >> trevor: i'm shocked every

i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, pie guest tonight, i'm a huge fan, you know him from dexter and he's got a brand new netflix series "safe," michael c. hall is here, everybody. but first, if you put on spotify at your barbecue this weekend you might have noticed something missing. >> the time's up movement now taking aim at rb stinger r. kelly. >> taking pressure from music streaming services. spotify, pandora an apple music all announcing they would noing loor promote kelly's songs, removing them from their play list though fans can still search for them. >> trevor: yeah, that std ultimate punishment for r. kelly, no more streaming. also, note to self, note to self, never go out wearing a bandit mask just in case the news needs a photo saying you did something wrong because people will just assume that you are guilty right, even zorro looks at him like he did it, he totally did it now i know some r. kelly fans are angry saying like how can they censor r. kelly he's done nothing wrong. look, he's no

, 2018, from comedy central's world new headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. (applause). >> trevor: thank you. welcome to the daily show. thank you so much for tuning in. i am real estate trevor noah. take a seat, everybody, thank you so much. tonight's guest, civil rights activist and founder of the metoo movement tarana burke is joining us, everybody. plaws praws but first, but first, last week talks with north korea broke down after the country announced that they had no plans to get rid of their nuclear weapons. but they did come back with a counteroffer and i think it's safe to say talks are back on. >> new science tonight that the canceled summit between president trump and kim jung-un could soon be back on. but nbc news has obtained exclusive information from three u.s. officials that a recent intelligence assessment concluded north korea has no intention of giving up its nukes any time soon am but may offer to open up a western hamburger franchise in its capitol as a gesture of good will. >> trevor: yeah, okay,s it's interesting. okay. so instead of s

central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ p. >> trevor: how you doing, everybody? welcome to the show! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much for tuning in! you guys are fantastic! my guest tonight is a pulitzer prize-winning journalist and author of a new book about american diplomacy, ronan farrow is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) really smart day, we're going to have a great conversation. but first, we spend so much time talking about how president trump is driving america crazy that we sometimes forget he drives the rest of the world crazy, too. >> two united states closest allies are expressing anger and disappoint over recent comments made by president trump. france is upset over claims the president made about the november 2015 terrorist attacks in paris. >> they took their time and gunned them down one by one. boom! come over here. boom! come over here. boom! >> and a lot of people in turkey are angry about the president's claim that the country has a knifing or stabbing problem.

. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: thank you so much, everybody! welcome to "the daily show." thank you so much for tuning in. i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, the former head of the c.i.a. and the n.s.a., here with a new book, michael hayden is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) but first, let's get into the news. french president emmanuel macron is doing his world tour. and during a press conference down in australia, things got a little awkward. >> french president emmanuel macron raised a few eyebrows during a press conference in australia by calling prime minister malcolm turnbull's wife, "delicious." >> i wanted to thank you for-- i wanted to thank you and your delicious wife for your warm welcome. >> trevor: whoa! back off, pepe le pew! ( laughter ) that's someone's wife. you know, it would have been cool if the australian prime minister thought it was some sort of custom and rolled with it. if he was like, "thank you, president macron. yeah, your wife is quite

this is also a man, trevor noah, who is known for how comedic he is. he is so funny. have gotten some of that out of him. >> i was trying to be serious with him first he has interesting insights as someone who has to come up with new jokes about the president every day. he has been in the job three years and if it were not for the trump administration i don't think he would be doing as well as he has. he had to replace jon stewart which is incredibly difficult tank and rocky first year and he thinks if it were not for trump it would take him a longer time to get comfortable in the "daily show" grind. when i asked him about his joke of course, it was about trump. >> trevor, thank you for sitting down with me. >> good to see you. >> does this feel like home for you now it's a few years? >> i think it's felt like home for a while now. i think home has been less defined by the -- >> hold on. i want to save that interview for "reliable sources" today. let's see if we have the ending. >> i was going to say that wasn't very funny. >> do we have it? >> i don't think we do. >>

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trevor noah goes one-on-one. t trump is like an african dictator to who you the white house has changed the art of the punch line. >> trevor, thanks for sitting down with me. >> thank you. good to see you. >> is this starting to feel like home now that it's been a few years? >> i think it's felt like home for a while now. i think home has been less defined by the space and more the people. i think were it not for the trump presidency, it may have taken me a lot longer to feel like it's home. >> you were scrambling to redo the show at the last minute. is that still happening 16 months in. >> we don't scramble. we expect it. now we plan pr the unplanable. we wait for the moment when wolf blitzer goes breaking news. we wait for it because it happens every day. it's the 5:30, we call it. every single day that's when the news will break. >> the news about michael cohen getting payments from companies. you i said cohen is swelling swamp tours. did it surprise you? >> no, it didn't. i said that donald trump reminds me of

central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." thank you so much for tuning in. my guest tonight is an actor from "orange is the new black" and the cbs show "superior donuts." diane guerrero is here, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) but first, yesterday, president trump announced that he was pulling america out of the iran nuclear deal. and not everyone in iran is taking it well. >> the u.s. pullout from the nuclear deal is a devastating blow, and already we can see the hard-liners maneuvering to take advantage of it. conservative lawmakers this morning burned a paper u.s. flag in the parliament and chanted the familiar "death to america." >> trevor: ah, i'm not trying to tell you guys how to do your job, but it's a lot scarier if the flag actually catches fire. ( laughter ) like, "die amer"-- hold on. "die amer"-- "die amer"-- like, i'll be worried about these guys making nukes when they're struggling to burn paper? i mean, really? that's what i'll be doing? ( che

. >> from comedy central's world new headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noahers and applause). >> trevor: thank you very much. welcome to the daily show, everybody. thank you so much for tuning inment i'm threfer noah thank you, thank you so much. you're far too kind. my guest tonight, my guest tonight is the star of brooklyn nine-nine and he's in deadpool 2. my workout buddy, terry crews is here, everybody. i do the counting, he does the lifting. but first the story that is tearing the country apart harder than an army of russian bots within the big question on social media this morning, laurel or yanny, listen closely and decide. >> laurel, laurel, laurel. >> what do you hear? is it laurel or yanny? >> yanny. >> yanny. >> i got, okay, i'm laurel. >> what do you hear. >> laurel. >> what do you hear? >> yamy with two m. >> we all hear laurel. >> the control room all hears yanny. >> trevor: and i hear idiots. for the last 24 hours this was all anyone could talk about. and everyone had different theories trying to figure out if maybe like different types of peop

applause ] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah( cheers and applause ) ♪ welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tuning in! my guest tonight antoinette robertson, star of the hit netflix series "dear white people," is joining us, everybody! >> trevor: if you believe facebook has too much access to your personal information, good news, facebook wants to introduce you to somebody with similar concerns. >> mark zuckerberg says facebook is getting into dating. 200 million people list themselves as single and he wants to foster long-term relationships. >> today we are announcing a new set of features coming soon around dating! this is going to be for building real long-term congratulations, not just hookups. >> trevor: yea! finally, relationships without the hookup! do you know how many times i have been in a relationship? too much hooking up. what would turn me on, meeting your parents, yes. imagine, you meet someone on fab, get married, have a kid and because you didn't read the terms of service facebook takes the kid and s

triumphant fanfare] from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, "the daily show with trevor noah" presents... ♪ [upbeat music] - when i heard that we were gonna do a year-end special, i was like, "we have to do a song." - oh, like when i said that, "hey, desi, we should do a year-end song," and you were like, "good idea, dulcé." - yeah, exactly. and i knew that it had to be about women, because this has been such an incredible year for women. - it was terrible. this year has been terrible for women. - it was a no-brainer to get on board with this project. i wanted to be a part of the solution, not the problem. men been creepy a long-ass time, and i wanna be here to support women, like the underwire of a bra, and just lift-- oh, my god, i'm doing it too. ay, you gonna cut that, right? please, just cut that, please. y'all got me a hit, right? - yes. oh, it's so good. - you ready? - yeah. - is it good? - oh, it's great. - it's so good. - you're so amazing. - yeah, i've been writing-- - you're so good. what you've been doing-- what you've been doing... - thank you. - once you see wha

"the daily show" with trevor noah presents... ♪ - used to be if you wanted to get people on board with cause, you did it through speeches, marches, or getting leo dicaprio to give a [bleep]. but two anti-racist activists think they've found a better way to get people to take a stand against racism. and you don't even have to leave your apartment. - safety pin box is a monthly subscription box for white people who want to be allies in the fight for black liberation. - so y'all saw a blue apron and was like, boom, that's how we solve racism. - that's the idea. - but instead of mailing white people stuff they're excited about, like purple potatoes, this box contains monthly instructions on how to not be racist, and 25% of the profits go to black female activists. they also throw in a sticker or wrist-band. you know, racism swag. - and it's $100 a month. [laughter] - it's a hundred dollars? - a hundred dollars. - seriously, white guilt runs that deep. hundred dollars deep. 'cause i've seen the news. and i seen them red hats. white people ain't feeling guilty these days. - no, they're not.

"the daily show" with trevor noah presents: ♪ - america hears trump in english. - i know words. but the rest of the world doesn't hear trump. - [speaking french] - the rest of the world hears... we assembled five translators from all over the world to hear their experiences when it comes to translating trump. of all the people you've had to translate, where does president trump fall? - he's probably the worst that i've ever translated. - trump is incoherent. - and he changes his mind in the middle of a sentence. - sometimes his message is not quite grammatical and seems a little bit uneducated. - i would say it's not particularly difficult to translate trump. - all right, get the [bleep] out of here. get this guy out of here. russian kramer aside, how does one translate trump with all these obstacles? - sometimes i lie. - you lie. - i--i have to. - no, no, no, no, no, but you can't do that. you can't do that because, see, we are counting on you to translate president trump accurately to the rest of the world. - it makes us sound stupid. - bing, bing, bong, bong, bing, bing, bing

triumphant fanfare] from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, "the daily show with trevor noahpresents... ♪ [upbeat music] - we spend a lot of time here discussing american stupidity, but we sometimes forget that stupidity knows no borders. and why would it? it's stupid. for more on this, we're joined by senior international correspondent ronny chieng, everybody. [cheers and applause] - hey, everybody, thanks. thanks, trevor. i'm actually kind of from australia, which you might not know because of my perfect american accent. but it's true, i lived down under for many years, and everyone thinks australians are just a bunch of crazy crocodile wrestlers. and let me just say this. you don't know the half of it. - eighteen-year-old lee de paauw, full of ozzie bravado and bragging to a girl he just met, deliberately plunged into crocodile infested waters. - the british tourist he'd been trying to impress could only watch on in horror as the croc attacked, snapping onto his arm. - i've never had a guy scream like that. [laughter] - what pisses me off is, idiots like this are why peopl

triumphant fanfare] from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, "the daily show with trevor noahesents... ♪ - freshwater. our world's most coveted resource, but it's growing scarcer by the day. so where will tomorrow's battle for our drinking water take place? the great lakes. michigan, erie, superior, huron, and that other one. they're 1/5 of the entire world's freshwater and the biggest body of water that i've ever urinated in. but some people say there are larger problems with the great lakes than my pee. i headed straight over to find out. - the great lakes are in danger. right here, we have 20% of the world's fresh surface water, and it's being polluted, and it has been polluted. - mm-hmm. - it's created this kind of...toxic cocktail that actually knocked out the drinking water for about 500,000 people. - speaking of toxic cocktail, have you ever had a bud light lime? - no. - no? - no, but this is-- this is serious. it's freshwater. it's sustenance. it's what people need to live. okay? - as egan explains in his book, it's not just the great lakes' drinking water that's under

plus we have trevor noah, gabrielle union. stay tuned. it's good. >>> happening now on twitter, a bomb threat aimed at san jose school buses being called unsubstantiated by police. an employee at oak grove school district found the threat in an e-mail. officers say it was non-specific but they take all threats seriously and they are monitoring that situation. we're back with more news in a moment. or do you need to hear m? tomorrow on )today in the bay - recap and reaction to nbc bay area )s debate - seen across california. plus: analysis of where the race for governor - stands now. see you in the morning! 4:30 to 7 a-m. good morning, it )s 7:26... >>> if is good news. silo has been found. a follow up on that pug stolen from outside a whole foods market in san francisco last month. the dog's owner says she went to homeless encampments handing out flyers trying to find filo. thanks to the community and social media, she tracked him down in oakland. the 12-year-old pug, which is deaf and blind in one eye, had been resold twice. as you might

yeah, i interviewed trevor noah, the comedian, for my show reliable sources, and he quoted biden talking about the dynamic we're experiencing in american life. he said there's a difference between being affected and offended. a lot of what we see from the trump white house is offensive. people are offended by it. but they're able to put that aside if they're affected positively by president trump, by the administration's actions and policies. i thought it was an interesting way to think about it. but do we really have to choose one or the other? is it too much to ask to not have offensive remarks coming out of the white house? aides making fun of or mocking or making jokes about mccain? it's a shame we have to settle for that, i think. >> brian stelter and sarah westwood, thank you both. don't forget about "reliable sources" tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. with brian. >> we have this just in. president trump tweeting on north korea, saying the country has announced it will dismantle its nuclear test site ahead of the summit between president trump and kim jong-un. he added thank you, a very smart

that's going to be a big show tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] trevor noah will be here.we have a lot of fun things planned. [ cheers and applause ] it's an entire show dedicated to teachers everywhere. you don't want to miss it. but first, we have a fun show tonight. he stars in the new hbo movie "fahrenheit 451." michael shannon is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] i love michael shannon. he's always great. >> steve: always great. >> jimmy: great actor. he's always funny when he comes on. and now he has a mustache, i hear. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: like a real one, yeah. >> steve: a real mustache? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, he went for it, apparently. [ laughter ] >> steve: he grew it himself? >> jimmy: i -- i don't know, i'm about to see, yeah. also from the new broadway play, "the boys in the band," andrew rannells is stopping by. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: talented dude. >> steve: delightful gentlemen. >> jimmy: talented guy. oh, and we have great new music from father john misty tonight. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it

ahead this hour, an exclusive interview with "daily show" host, trevor noah. >>> and we're going to talk

first, late night's trevor noah on the so-called fast food diplomacy under way between north korea and the united states. >> so instead of shutting down its nuclear program, north korea is instead offering to open a burger joint. yes. yes. i don't even know how that makes sense. i like to think that was intended to kim jong-un's opening gambit, you know, to get the ball rolling. then trump heard hamburgers and he's like, we're in, we're in. where's my noble prize? burger, nobel. .com you always get the lowest price on our rooms, guaranteed? let's get someone to say it with a really low voice. carl? lowest price guaranteed. what about the world's lowest limbo stick? how low can you go? nice one, carl. hey i've got an idea. just say, badda book. badda boom. badda book. badda boom. nice. always the lowest price, guaranteed. book now at choicehotels.com at fidelity, our online u.s. equity trades are just $4.95. so no matter what you trade, or where you trade, you'll only pay $4.95. fidelity. open an account today. today's senior living communities have never been better, with amazing ameni

. >> i do love trevor noah putting it in perspective. groundhogs, they are on the ground. welcome to "cbs this morning." three americans held by north korea for more than a year are back on u.s. soil this morning. their names, kim dong chul and tony kim and kim hak song received a hero's welcome overnight. personally greeted the men after their plane landed at the base early this morning. >> the president hailed their return ahead of his scheduled talks with north korean dictator kim jong-un. paula reid is at the white house with the significance of the prisoner release. paula, good morning. >> good morning. the release of these three men is seen as the most significant accomplishment so far for the trump administration in its negotiations with north korea. it's also seen as a sign that the regime may be willing to move past decades of discord with the u.s. and its allies ahead of an historic summit. flanked by the president and first lady, tony kim, kim hak song and kim dong chul, emerged from the plane after their years in prison. the president calling this a proud achie