>> trevor noah? >> we both look like trevor noah. >> trevor: okay, what? ( laughter ) this is just-- i know i'm half black, half white, but this is ridiculous. ( laughter ) this is-- like according to this app, i'm the love child of charles barkley and that white dude's bow tie. i don't even understand what-- you understand what a disaster this is for me, right? you realize that robots think i look like everyone. that means in the future, i will get arrested for everyone else's crimes. and it also means that i can never date a robot, all right. yeah, because i'll be like, "i can't believe you cheated on me with charles barkley." and the robot will be like, "sorry, i was 59% sure it was you, baby. to make it up to you, you can put it in my other socket tonight." ( laughter ) oh, and speaking of look-alikes-- the u.s.b. port-- ( laughter ) -- and speaking of look-alikes, it turns out canadian prime minister justin trudeau, he might want to ask his dad if he ever made a secret trip to afghanistan. >> canada's prime minister justin trudeau has a look-alike, an

i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, my guest tonight, a brilliant woman, author of the new book "thick." tressie mcmillian cottom is here everybody. we're going to have a fascinating conversation with her. and on tonight's show we will also be discussing the three "r"s-- robots, racism, and republicans. ( laughter ) but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. great britain. not so great anymore. ( laughter ) if you think things look badder than the new "spider-man" trailer, wait until you see it on the news. >> breaking news on brexit. british prime minister theresa may losing a historic vote on her plan to leave the european union. the parliament overwhelmingly rejecting the deal in a vote late tonight in london. >> today's defeat was a landslide. theresa may got a shellacking. the right voted no. the left voted no. it was the worst failure of government in britain by the numbers in the history of great britain. >> trevor: good lord. what a mess. i bet mary poppins floated down, looked around, and

. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noahrevor: yes! welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much. you're far too kind! thank you for tuning in, everybody! welcome to it! i'm so excited. on tonight's show we're going to be jointed by the star of boilers and the hit movie "black klansman," john david washington is here, everybody! prepare yourselves, he is very sexy. we're also going to be talking about the latest in the gshed including president trump's trip to the border where he illegally snuck into mix co-the see how they like it. spoiler alert, we are also not sending our best. ( laughter ) but first first let's catch up e headlines. 663 days until the next presidential election but the cam sin is underway. former texas representative and weathered teenage boy beto o'rourke is attempt ago run, talking to everyday americans and posting stories on his instagram. turns out, maybe there is such a thing as too relatable. >> that is, indeed, beto o'rourke in the dentist chair talking to people near the border

depend ♪ >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noahnk you! thank you! welcome to "the daily show," i'm trevor noah! ithank you for tuning in. our guest tonight, marc mauer is here. marc mauer is going to be joining us. he is the executive director of the sentencing project and co-author of a facscinating new book about abolishing life sentences. so we're going to be chatting to him about that. but before that, let's catch up on today's headlines. allergies, they affect the lives of many bitch-ass americans. but according to a new study, the most common affliction is hypochondria. >> surprising results from a new scientific survey of more than 40,000 americans. a study finds while one in five people said they had a food allergy, only about 10% of americans actually have symptoms that suggest a real allergy. thedata suggest while 50 million americans think they have food allergies, only about 26 million actually do. >> trevor: i knew it! half of americans who think they have allergies aren't allergic to anything. yeah, the only thing you

baby ♪ >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noahlause ) ♪ >> trevor: oh, man! welome to "the daily sho w," i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight is an advocate for women's rights and has a new book about refugee girls, malala yousafzai is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) true superstar. but before we get into the news, happy new year, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) good to be back. my new year's resolution was to stop eating cigarettes. lasted two days. going well. ( laughter ) i had a great vacation. i had vocal chord surgery done at the end of last year. the doctor was amazing, it went well, so thank you to the doctor. then i had a vacation in california with my friends, it was sunny, and i went to theme parks, my greatest joy, riding on rollercoasters because, in south africa, the most intense one goes around, like, once. then i used to see american ones, and i said, so many spins! so that was my dream. so i wanted to ride the rollercoasters. people saw me on the instagram and said how do you ride rollercoasters when you

i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, our guest tonight i'm such a big fan of his. is the writer and director of if beale street could talk, barry jenkins is here, everybody. (applause). >> trevor: you may remember him, you may remember him from last year's oscars when he yoinked "la la land's" award out of their hands for his film "moonlight," so we will find out whose oscar he will take away this time. it will be fun. but firs let's catch up on today's headlines. the government is shut down. but the mueller investigation is still going. and yesterday we got a surprise look at where it's headed. >> slipup by paul manafort's lawyers has revealed new information about his contact with the russians during the trump campaign. while paul manafort was serving as donald trump's campaign chairman documents revealed that he was in contact with a pan by the name of constand stin kalim nick, an associate u.s. officials believe is rinked to russian intelligence thsm comes in documents filed by pan a forth's lawyer, some lines redacted but it turns out because of a clerical err

i'm trevor noah. wow. (applause). >> trevor: please, please, stop it. i like it.our guest tonight here to talk about season two of friends from college on netflix, keegan-michael key is joining us, everybody! (cheers and applause). >> trevor: so exciting. today on the show we've got the government shut down, day 26. we've got brexit day 937, and lewis black is angry day 4,762. but before all of that, let's a he catch up on today's headlines. big, big news for the 2020 presidential election. the pool of democratic candidates just got another step closer to infinite. >> another candidate is jinking theÑi &pa0Ñiçyó democratic presl race. new york senator=)ñÑiçó kirsteni grand-- gillibrand took the first step on the late show with stephen kol bertd. >> i'm going to run for president of the united states because as a young mom i'm going to fight for other people's kids as hard as i would fight for my own. which is why i believe that health care should be a right and not a privilege. (applause). >> trevor: oh boy, this is so exciting. another big name democrat has joine

sighs ] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome, everybody! thank you so much! thank you so much! take a seat! lte get into it! welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. you are amazing for coming out here. thank you for tuning in. our guest is a terrific comedienne with a new h.b.o. special. amanda seales is joining us! ( cheers and applause ) also on our show tonight is biggest oscar snubs, the soariest democrats and robots losing their jobs for a change. let's catch up on today's headlines. today is day 32 of the longest government shutdown in american history. federal workers are about to miss their second paycheck. more and more t.s.a. agents aren't showing up to work, and the government is so broke the statue of liberty had to get a temp job at quiznos. ( laughter ) but it looks like there may be some good news today because it look like the shutdown may be coming to an end. >> breaking news, there could be an end in sight to the partial government shutdown in the 32nd day. the

trevor: from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, in is the "the daily show" with trevor noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: oh wow, wow! thank you so much. thank you so much, everybody. welcome to the daily show, welcome to the daily show, i'm trevor noah, take a seat, take a seat, teak a seat, tack a seat, welcome to it welcome to it. tonight, tonight we are joined by the master mind behind the hit show drunk history. derek waters is here, everybody. we have a really exciting season coming up. we're also going to be catching up on the big news in the russia investigation and we'll find out which democrats are getting too the ring with trump in 2020. but first let's catch up on today's headlines. teaching, its he's not an easy job unless you are a gym teacher. because then you can hit the kids, yeah they call it dodge ball but we all know the truth. anyway, educators in america are not compensated fairly which is why this happened. >> tens of thousands of teachers in los angeles are expected to strike this morning in the nation's second largest school district. educators

chirping ] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: thank you so much! and welcome to "the daily show," everybody! i'm trevor noah! thank you for tuning in! thank you for coming out! our guest tonight -- our guest tonight is a titan of wall street -- boo! -- whose company ellevest is transforming investing for women -- yay! sallie krawcheck is joining us, everybody! it's going to be a really, really fun conversation. ( cheers and applause ) also on tonight's show, your iphone is always listening. jeff flake does the most flakey thing ever and starbucks is ruining america in a new way, but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. the mueller investigation, it has been going on forever. when moses came down from the mountaintop, he was carrying ten commandments and two bob mueller subpoenas. hal( laughter ) now we have an update. after trump fired jeff sessions and sent him back to the marsh melolines, he relays placed him with matt whitaker, current attorney general and former hank from breaking

dreams >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah everybody! welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much for tuning in! i thank you for coming out! our guest tonight is the host of "meet the press" on nbc. sleepy eyes chuck todd is here! we'll have a fun conversation. also on the show, roy wood, jr. is going to fix the n.f.l. and you will find out why you should be very afraid of a man named lollipop. but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. venezuela -- ♪ venezuela one of south america's most affluent nation has descended into chaos and violence -- like how best buy is a chill place but on black friday somebody gets murdered over a toaster. that's not a joke. it's a true story. i'll miss you uncle billy. but i told you that was my toaster. ( laughter ) anyway, venezuelaians have been taking to the streets to protest food shortages and collapsing economy with 10 million% inflation. responsible? leader nicolas maduro. the people tried to vote him out last year but he rigged the election. now an opposition le

www.captionmax.com >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! i'm trevor noah! thank you for coming out and tuning in! our guest tonight a very funny comedian to talk about his netflix special, mo amer is here, everybody! it's going to be really, really bun. ( cheers and applause ) also on the show, the shutdown has been shutdown and another one of president trump's very fine people turns out to be a very bad hombre. but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. there are now only 644 days until the 2020 presidential election. i don't know about you guys, but i've already set my dvr. i even added an extra five minutes in case it goes long. ( laughter ) this race was going to simple, the best democrat running against donald trump. but now someone has thrown a grande rinech in the works. >> the 2020 race getting bigger by the day. possible new contender form starbucks c.e.o. howard schultz, saying he would consider a run taking on both the president and democrats. >> d

www.captionmax.com >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is daily show with trevor noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: oh, you're far too kind, welcome to the daily show, everybody, thank you for tuning n i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, our guest tonight, fompler governor of new jersey and the man who narrowly avoided becoming dn ald trump's vice president, chris yiesie-- christie is joining us, everybody. also on tonight's show we've got good news for anyone whoever wanted to live inside their freezer. and once again, trump and intelligence don't mix. but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. the fyre festival. it is the greatest music concert that never happened. you have probably watched documentaries on hulu, on netflix that showed how this whole thing was the biggest scam from start to finish and if you haven't wamped them, please go and watch them. like i'm begging you, you have to watch these. i will do anything to get-- i will suck your [bleep] go and watch them. anyway, because many-- because many supermodels convinced people to pay for the festiva

i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight emmy winning actor and father of olivia pope, joe morton is here, everybody. to talk about his new show, hopefully he will talk about how to remove a president without anyone noticing. also on the show tonight the state of the union has been canceled, no it hasn't, yes, it has. and have you ever seen a black cowboy, well shall you will on tonight's show but first let's catch up on today's headlines. #r the supreme court after brett kavanaugh became the fifth conservative justice people waited to see how his presence would affect the court's ruling. and now that he has finally sobered up, we're getting some answers. >> the supreme court has decided to allow the trump administration's partial ban on transgender people in the mim tear to go into effect for now as appeals continue. the scrus tises voted 5-4 in favor. >> u.s. supreme court agreed to hear a gun case for the first time in nearly a decade. it involves new york city's strik rules for carrying legally owned gu

>> before anything else, i want to say that trevor noah comedy routine was hilarious.57 writers for comedy gold like that. it's harder to do. don't try this at home, boys and girls, it's harder to do than you think. cher -- >> tucker: can you stop right t there, and let me just say, i couldn't agree with you more. i'm not even attacking the guy for his politics.s. talent levels along with, you know, lot of other markers of societal health have declined, i think. [laughs] >> i'm not attacking him. trevor noah is my fellow commonwealth citizen from south africa and i don't want to attack him. i don't know what those 57 comedy writers are doing all day. cher seems to be the one person in the country who actually believes in government shutdown dinner theater. she looks out of her window, shean can't see over the border wall around her own estate, and she thinks the streets arear full of people who are dying of disease, their corpses are going unburied, there are flies all around the mound of corpses outside, tens of millions of americans have died, for god sake, give trum

persuade them and i'm the house boy at npr now.i do want to say one thing because i hear this from trevor noah and i hear this from a lot of the people on the left, it's funny. in the subtitle is the rebirth of tribalism, populism, nationalism and identity politics is destroying american democracy. all liberals agree with the nationalism and there with me on the tribalism but they get furious at the identity politics and i've done a lot of conservative talk radio and their with meon the anti-politics . >> you're never going to get rid of ethnic politics. i've got no problem with politics, from ben franklin talking about the germans to the irish in tammany hall. it's not necessarily always a good thing. it can go too far and all the rest but it's very different than this identity politics thing which is essentially trying to create an abstraction. of you know, that i can all i need to know about you i can tell by some abstract adherence to something and one of the things that makes it so great is that we have many different identities. one of the things about the title mind is that all politics

in wrapping up some of the best-selling nonfiction audiobooks is daily show host trevor noah's reflection on growing up in africa. most of these offers have appeared on both tv and you can watch them online booktv.org. >> over the past 20 years book tv has covered thousands of author events and book festivals. here's a portion of a recent program. >> so how did i come to the story, how do you find a hacker, how do you find a hacker story, it is a simple explanation is obvious all of us, it was a play date. i was picking my daughter up from preschool a few years ago, a classmate of hers ran over and they started playing together. it was the beginning of the school year, i started talking to the mom, she said 0 what you do, and i thought i wanted to be the interesting person in this conversation. i am a writer, write articles, write books, i talk about for ten minutes about myself. what you do? she said 0 tomorrow morning i have to break into the bank. and i said 0 really. thus a little bit more. >> you can watch this in any of our programs in their entirety booktv.org. type the authors nam

. >> laura: trevor noah's eyes are glazing over. how does any of this add up? it doesn't. on the cultural side, she and others like or intend to use the government and their positions of influence now to mandate campus-style political correctness. what do i mean by that? well, anyone who dares question this progressive agenda is not just wrong but they are downright evil. so there's no room for debate, only demonization. and a recent tweet she asserts many have recognized that fox news has crossed a line beyond conservatism into outright bigotry with their finance of tucker carlson laura ingraham. you see, my friends, this isn't your daddy's liberalism where it was all about love and peace and live and let live. this is kind of the old-school new england puritanism with a radical twist. they are going to with buffed their followers to try to intimidate and silence anyone who gets in their way. now, she's only been on the job for like six days but she's already practicing the rules for radicals. rule 13, pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it. cut off t

a quick plug, i am joining trevor noah on the "daily show." you don't know, it could be tend of my career. "the beat" with is coming up. >>> we have a report that bipartisan talks to try to reopen the government. you are looking at the split screen reality. a dramatic statement, more republicans crossing over one by one to vote for what is a democratic bill that would reopen the government. both the so-called trump bill and this democratic bill didn't get enough votes to move forward. you can see, they do have something close to over 50 votes. trump says, he would entertain now a bipartisan bill with some down payment on the wall. democrats say that's not going to happen. then this is why we're not seeing a cave what some are calling a semi cave. trump now leaving the door opened anew to supporting something is that he call that's reasonable agreement. reasonable agreement . >> i wouldn't be happy with it. if they come to a reasonable agreement, i would support it. i have other alternatives, if i have to. >> let's get right to it. you jumped i

a quick plug, i am joining trevor noah on the "daily show."now, it could be tend of my career. "the beat" with is coming up. >>> we have a report that bipartisan talks to try to reopen the government. you are looking at the split screen reality. a dramatic statement, more republicans crossing over one by one to vote for what is a democratic bill that would reopen the government. both the so-called trump bill and this democratic bill didn't get enough votes to move forward. you can see, they do have something close tove

. >> that is trevor noah on the big news about the netflix price hike. we'll discuss it. to discuss about that. welcome back to cbs this morning. here are three things that you should know this morning. the senate will vote for a second time today on a bill involving russia sanctions. if passed, the trump administration would not be able to lift sanctions on companies with ties to the kremlin. on a rare split with the president yesterday, 11 senate th publanthsat lwimaoikers say jd g the sanctions sippeds the wrong message to russia. >>> two companies are splitting after a dispute over pricing. cvs sa the retl giant for a bigger reimbursement could affect prices. and walmart says it wants to provide accessible health care. it does that affect systems ca pharmacies. >>> and starting today, youtube is trying to save people from themselves by banning videos that encourage dangerous activities that could result in physical harm. the decision comes amid reports of injuries sustained by people doing the bird box challenge lse isuto a the hit movie.ubyo videos with pranks that m