new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with the biggest announcement today that didn't involve the bachelor. i'm talking about afghanistan. the country that much like the bathroom at a chili cookoff is almost always occupied. the united states has now been in av dpan stand for nearly 20 years. and today president joseph retreat biden said enough is enough. >> president biden announcing he will withdraw all u.s. troops from afghanistan by september 11th. >> we cannot continue the cycle of extending or expanding our military presence in afghanistan hoping to create ideal conditions for the withdrawal and expecting a different result. i'm now the fourth united states president to preside over american troop presence in afghanistan. i will not pass this responsibilities on to a fifth. >> trevor: i will not pass this responsibility to the next president. wow. what a nice gift joe biden is giving to dwayne the rock johnson when he becomeses president. although to be honest, i was secretary reitl

trevor noah here. during last year's presidential campaign, we sent our very own jordan klepper all around the country to attend as many trump rallies as he could, and he did. from pennsylvania to iowa all the way to the capitol riots on january 6th. now that some time has passed, we thought it would be a good idea for jordan to look back at what he saw, catch up with the people he met, and reflect on that year and its violent conclusion. so, tonight, we present to you jordan klepper's journey into the maga-verse. ♪ - i'm jordan klepper, and i'm back where it all began, in the very same parking lot where i interviewed hundreds of fired up trump supporters, here in hershey, pennsylvania. or lancaster, pennsylvania. or... shit. this might be jersey. the point is, i've definitely been here before. because i remember doing a badass hero shot over there, interviewing some women drinking wine at 10:00 in the morning, and walking out of that corn field like a boss. although there's no more corn field. so, tha

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah! ♪ ♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off with the oscars, the biggest night to have the year for hollywood and for people who manufacture red carpets. despite the pandemic shaking everything up, the oscars pulled off a lot of cool moments last night. we got to see an awards show in a train station, right. we saw regina king get her steps in. and we even got to see glenn close audition to be in cardi b's next video. but we also got a lot of history made last night. chloe zhao con an award, and daniel cay will will kaluuya myn oscar and a beat down from his momma on the same night. >> and the oscar goes to daniel kaluuya. ( cheers and applause ) >> we're going to celebrate life, man. we're breathing, walking, it's incredible. it's incredible. like it's incredible. my mom, my dad, they had sex! it's amazing. i'm here, you know what i mean? so i'm so happy to be alive. so i'm going to celebrate that tonight. >> trevor: ah, ah, ah u did he say "sex" in front of his african america? forget say

somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah! ♪♪♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off with this weekend's sad news for the british royal family. and no they didn't get another black grandchild. i'm talking about the death of prince philip at age 99. as heart broken as i'm sure you were, it was nothing compared to how some people felt. >> for a tribe in the pacific islands, prince philip's death is also difficult. villagers believed him to be a god and he maintained a relationship with them for decades. >> one of a dozen of pacific island nations is a place of mourning for a prince half a world away. ( singing ) for the past 50 years, villagers here have regarded prince philip as a god, and philip, known at times for off-colored remarks and gaffes, maintained a respectful relationship with them over several decades, sending them gifts. some were even invited for a visit to the u.k. anthropologist us say there was a legend there in the '60s that a pale-skinned son of a mountain god would travel across the seas and marry a rich and powe

. - "daily show with trevor noah." and are you trevor? - no, he-- he's in new york. he's not here.an. tell me your name, i can print your name for you. just, here, sign right there, you see? - okay. - yeah, there. perfect. - trevor noah at "the daily"-- you want to talk to him? sign the release. - wanting me to sign a release? you guys gonna ask me a bunch of dumb, trick questions and say there was ten people here today? - i want to know how many you think. sometimes these people are so enthusiastic, they don't even wait for their turn to talk. - i mean, they-- they-- - bikers for trump, hell yeah! - this is a conspiracy against the united states. - thousands of people tried to murder people inside that very-- we'll be right there, ma'am. sometimes their anti-media anger is surprisingly personal. - you're not funny. - no, i don't know what the statistics are on that. - hey klepper, you're not funny. - but i'm telling you, if biden is legit... - klepper! klepper! klepper's a bitch! - he would not fight a recount. - one second, i got-- i got some fans here., - you're a wuss. you're n

. >> so before i get into that, the moment for he for she, was that trevor noah was part of an event, it ban really, really cool, you know, it was like, and become like really, really cool when trevor noah support it. so thank you for doing that, trevor. >> trevor: my pleasure. >> it was really inspired by this african philosophy of ibuntu because i realized there was such a disease in terms of how we look at gender inequality. it was for women lead by women. and men were almost kind of not engaged as much as they could because but then they should. because at the imed of the day as you rightly said, the men should be the ones not abusing women. we come it st a responsible on women to say don't abuse me, so i saw an opportunity to bring men as part of the conversation and as part of the solution so that we as a collective for shared humanitarian can work together to end this really, really devastating issue. >> trevor: you always are looking to give back, are you always looking to contribute. you are trying to find ways to get involved. i have talked tho, and i know you have as well,

noah? we need to talk. the way your son trevor throws a ball. no, no, more like tracy noah.e to smich." this is not just transphobic. it's sexist and everything else. these republicans act like all they care about is the health and well-being of the kids, but it kind of gives the game away when they start adding on stuff that's basically just, "and don't play with dolls, or we'll tell your mom! and, look, i'm not a doctor, as i found out when i tried to take out my cousin's appendix-- r.i.p -- - but these republican lawmakers are also not doctors. and people who are doctors see things very differently. >> major medical organizations, such as the american medical association and the american academy of pediatrics, opposed the bill. >> with alarm and dismay, pediatricians have watched bills through state legislatures across the country. it threatens the health and well-being of transgender youth. >> young people, when they reach a certain age, if they have gender dysphoria-- which means that they experience mental duress because they are transgender-- might not want to go thro

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah tell you this, that the news has been pretty heavy this week. even my meditation app had to unplug to "focus on itself." but as we know, even during the most downbeat times, it is still possible to find... a ray of sunshine. and that's exactly what we did. ♪ ♪ ♪ let's kick things off with the olympics. it's where people who sacrificed their entire lives to athletics compete to see who didn't waste their time. the summer games are on track to start this coming july in tokyo. and today, we got our first look at the new fit. >> we're getting a look at what some athletes will wear at the summer olympics in tokyo. ralph lauren unveiled these uniforms for team u.s.a. russia is also showing off red, blue, and white uniforms. check out canada's entry. they are set to wear these denim jackets for the closing ceremony. designers say it captures tokyo's culture. >> trevor: okay, okay, say what you want about canada's uniforms. i know people are making fun of it, but personally, i love it. i didn

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with the census. it's how the u.s. government says "everyone in the country make some nooiiise." every ten years, the census determines how many people are in the country, and then how many congressional seats each state gets, and which city gets a "real housewives." and now, the 2020 numbers are out. >> the u.s. census reports over the last decade, the population grew at the slowest rate since the 1930s. this was driven by a leveling off of immigration and a declining birthrate in the country. >> and because of population shifts, texas will pick up two seats in congress. florida, north carolina, montana, colorado, and oregon will each get one more. and for the first time, california is losing one seat, as are illinois, michigan, ohio, pennsylvania, west virginia, and new york, which-- get this-- was just 89 people short of keeping all of its seats. >> trevor: aaahh! this is unbelievable. you'retalg me if just 89 more new yorkers had filled out their

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah! ♪ ♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off with an update on covid 19. the pandemic that's harder to get rid of than a serial killer in a hockey mask. this past year, sometimes felt like an endless repetition of netflix, crafts and boring little walks around the neighborhood. hell, i took so many walks i started naming the fire hydrants. hey, what's going on, yellow? spiny, yeah, good to see you! richard, where's my (~bleep~) money, richard? i don't forget, you told me you needed to buy a new net to close the water hole and you didn't. i'll kill you, richard! but now, things are suddenly moving very fast in the right direction. the only question is, are they moving fast enough? >> after an weekend of easter gatherings and spring break travelers, the fear this morning another dangerous surge is looming, michigan now seeing the country's largest spike in cases, reporting its highest daily count since early december. while infections are rising in over 20 states, health experts aren't in agre

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off in florida-- the place that answers the question, what it all the stuff that didn't make it in a hot dog became a state? florida regularly faces its share of disasters: rising sea levels, hurricanes, rampant sleeve robbery. and now, it's looking at toxic floods. >> we're going to turn now to florida, where tonight there is a frantic effort to prevent a catastrophic flood from a wastewater pond near tampa. hundreds have been evacuated, crews are pumping out millions of gallons of toxic water to relieve pressure at the toxic pond. >> the piney point reservoir at an old phosphate plant is surrounded by radioactive material. >> a collapse could send a 20-foot wall of waste water into nearby areas. that's why 30 million gallons of the contaminated water are being pumped every 24 hours into tampa bay and other waterways raising fears it could kill fish and wildlife. some 300 homes and a nearby prison already under evacuation orders. >> trevor: sweet jesus.

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with spring break, the one week a year when college students drink and party. this is now the second year that spring break has fallen during coronavirus, but things are a little different now. at this time last year, many people hadn't started taking the pandemic seriously yet, but this year they've stopped taking the pandemic seriously too soon! >> spring break state of emergency. overnight, more chaos from miami beach, a wild weekend of mostly maskless people packing the streets. police shooting pepper balls to disperse the crowd, setting off a stampede. more than 1,000 arrested since the start of spring break. maskless crowds descended into the entertainment district over the weekend, dancing on cars, drinking in the streets, defying an 8:00 p.m. curfew issued saturday. >> tourists have been packing this destination since february when ron desantis declared this an oasis of freedom from coronavirus restrictions. >> governor desantis said no masks!

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah. ♪♪♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off with the coronavirus vaccine. aka "people" magazine's "sexiest vaccine alive." we've gotten all sorts of vaccines, pfizer, moderna, astrazeneca, monteiro. but for at least a while there will be one less. >> breaking news, the c.d.c. and f.d.a. have just issued a joint statement recommending a pause in the use of the johnson & johnson vaccine in the u.s. the agencies say they reviewing six reported cases of a rare type of blood clot in people who have received the vaccine. nearly 7 million doses of the j&j vaccine have already been administered in the u.s. officials say these adverse events appear to be extremely rare -- >> trevor: yeah, the f.d.a. has temporarily halted the johnson & johnson vaccine while they look into six cases of rare blood clots in people who got that vaccine. and, look, on the one hand, i get it, you don't want the vaccine for one disease to give you another disease. i wouldn't want the flu shot if it also gave me restless va

speaking of the title, you know, it's an interesting contrast with trevor noah's title, your inspiration, you know? his title, "born a crime," is very up front about the trauma inherent. you've experienced a lot of trauma in your life and yet chose to title the book something that's a joyful sentiment. was it hard to settle on that title? was it in discussion with others? >> guest: oh, my gosh, there's a saying strong in the book -- [inaudible] as a, the title for his book, he's a tripping amputee from vietnam, you know, strong -- we thought of all sorts of things. my call sign was mad dog 6. there was one day as i was writing this to the publishers and my collaborator, you know, i was talking about the shootdown, and i say, but, you know, every day of my life -- i think they asked me, i had a tough day at work. i don't know what it was, maybe it was a health care fight or something. i'm really exalted today. you had a tough day. and i said, yeah, you know, but every day is a gift. every day that i have is one that i'm surprised that i have. and they went, that's the title. [laughter] ..

. ♪ i can't wait 'til the day i kiss you ♪ >> trevor: hey, what's going on, i'm trevor noah and thisthe daily social distancing show. today is world health day. finally, the one day this year when we can sit around worrying about our health. anyway, coming up on tonight's show, siri is getting a makeover. we'll reveal the winner of the pandemic bracket. and we try and explain what a goddam nft is. so let's' do this, people, welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world shall this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> all right, let's kick things off with mitch mcconnell. senate minority leader, and action figure that got way too close to a light bull be. like most republicans, mcconnell has been very upset that corporations like delta and coca cola are speaking out against georgia's new voter restriction law which limits dropboxs, makes it illegal to pass out water to people waiting in line and lets people skip to the front if they are wearing boat shoes. and now mcconnell is telling corpor

talk about trevor noah. and in that same interview of "the new york times" a referenced earlier, you referenced you talk about other books like white rage like you would like to see even the president read it. wish i could ask you a question, what book would you have anybody working on the hill is a reporter or staffer read? >> i would rather have a reading list because it does talk about the pendulum swing of our nation every time we have a major civil rights movement and success and stepping forward. but there is a backlash that is part of the nations history. i think people should understand those in the military and that experience the war i always wanted. that's a good book about the iraq war and afghanistan in my generation of troops were thinking after not having been at war over ten years. and that coming-of-age story and what that is for military men and women. i would have a long list. and with apartheid in south africa read that. >> a reading list is fair. another book question i was so struck thi

. >> commissioner harrison, here is what trevor noah said, and it was a different play on the "bad apple" metaphor. take a listen. >> the system in policing is doing exactly what place where you go, oh, we're not dealing with bad apples, we're dealing with a rotten tree that happens to grow good apples. >> commissioner harrison, do you understand where trevor noah is coming from? >> i didn't hear that, but hearing it now, i do understand what that means. and that's why baltimore police department, like my former department in new orleans, is under a federal consent decree and we are essentially in a complete makeover of a department. and that's why i believe the justice department will in its investigation probably find patterns and practices of unconstitutional policing and it's very likely minneapolis will be in a consent decree as well. now, in our makeover, it is because the system was bad, everything from recruitment to hiring to training to policies, to practice and supervision technology, here are the good apples. this is what trevor was talking about with good apples. we need a p

in other words, carson really didn't want to go as far as stephen colbert or trevor noah routinely doso today. what would carson do with president trump? well, we have some sense. trump was prominent as a new york business leader during carson's time at "the tonight show" and johnny carson did make a few jokes at trump's expense. in 1989 he ripped about trump's short-lived entirely failed game show called "trump card." quote, he's on everything. he's got his name on buildings, he's got his name on boats, and this show apparently is a lot like "wheel of fortune," but instead of van na white, leona helmsley comes out and flips a homeless person in the street. one of the parts of this show is called "eviction of the week." trump stands there with a bullhorn and yells, come on down. carson also jokingly tied trump to the gennifer flowers scandal. don't worry about gennifer flowers, he said. she's got a new job as trump's back-up mistress. now, if carson were performing today, i think he would be very critical of trump, that he would have moved to some extent with the audience as the harsh

last night was the 63rd annual grammy awards, hosted by my friend and paramount+ colleague, trevor noahout of the arena-- in that he was never in the arena, because it was the first time the grammys took place outdoors. which worked out great, except for when bruno mars was carried off by a hawk. thought it was a rabbit. eagle thought it was a rabbit. he's a tiny man. this year, female artists won big, especially beyonce, who went in with nine nominations-- the most of the night-- and by the end of the evening, broke the record for the most grammys won by a woman, and any singer, male or female, with 28. hopefully, she finally got one where the little record player actually works. i won this a couple years back, and the sound quality is terrible. i can't get it to pair with my earbuds. what's that? ( laughter ) okay. ( laughter ) you're only supposed to show it one way. beyonce was-- it's true. i'm going to get a letter. i'm looking forward to the letter from the academy for doing this. what? hideous! beautiful. hideous. beautiful. come at me. it was also a big night for taylor swift, o

in other words carson never really wanted to go as far as stephen colbert or trevor noah routinely do today. what would carson do with president trump? well, we have some sense. trump was part of was prominent as a new york business official a business leader during carson's time at the night show and johnny carson did make a few jokes about trumps. it's trump's expense in 1989. he riffed about trump's short-lived entirely failed game show called trump card. quote, he's on everything. he's got his name on buildings. he's got his name on boats. and this show apparently is a lot like wheel of fortune, but instead of vanna white leona hemsley comes out and flips a homeless person into the street. and one of the features of this show. is called eviction of the week. trump stands under a tenement window with a bullhorn and yells come on down. trump also included trump and carson also included trump in another bid in 1991 that jokingly tied him to the clinton jennifer flower scandal. don't worry about jennifer flowers. carson said she's got a new job today as donald trump's backup mistress.

carson did not want to go as far as stephen colbert and trevor noah routinely do so today. what wilkerson did with president trump? we have some sense. trump was prominent as a new york business leader during carson's time at the tonight show and johnny carson did make a few jokes at trump's expense. in 1989 he rift about trump's short-lived, entirely filled game show called trump car. quote he's on everything. he's got his name on buildings, he's got his name on boats, and the show apparently as a lot like wheel of fortune, but instead of than a white leona comes out and flips a homeless person into the street. and one of the features of this show is called eviction of the week. trump stands at a window with a bull horn and yells come on dion. trump also included trump, carson also intruded trump another bid in 1981 which taught him to the flower scandal. don't worry about jennifer flowers, carson said. she's got a new job today as donald trump's backup mistress. >> of course and we're performing today i think he would be very critical of trump, that he would have moved to

in other words, carson never really wanted to go as far as stephen colbert or trevor noah routinely do so today. what would carson do with president trump? well, we have some sense. trump was prominent as a new york business official -- business leader during carson's time at the tonight show and johnny carson did make a few jokes at trump's expense. in 1989 he ripped about trump's short lived, failed game show about trump card. quote, he's on everything, he has his name on buildings, his name on boats, and this show apparently is a lot like wheel of fortune but instead of vana white, leona hemsly comes out and flips a homeless person into the street. trump stands under a tentment window and shouts come down. in 1991, there was a joke tying him to the clinton jennifer flowers scandal. don't worry about jennifer flowers carson said she has a new job today as donald trump's backup mistress. now, if carson were performing today, i think he'd be very critical of trump, that he would have moved to some extent with the audience as the harsher times allow comedians to go in a more critical di

new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. let's kick things off with the coronavirus vaccine. the thing that is responsible for the most welcome stabbing spree in history. more than 40% of americans have now gotten at least one dose of the vaccine. but there are sill a lot-- still a lot of people who have yet to roll up their sleeves. and maybe it's because they wrongly believe that the vaccine is dangerous. or maybe they think it's a plot by bill gates to replace our brain with windows 10. or maybe they think bill gates didn't put a microchip inside the vaccine and that is why they don't want it. whatever the reason, america won't be rid of coronavirus until more of these vaccine holdouts get on board. which isçó why now some places e coming up with a creative incentive for winning these people over. >> health officials are getting creative in how they convince hesitant americans to get the covid vaccine. >> the governor of west virginia is offering a 100 savings bond from anyone 16 to 35 who gets the vacs veen. >> at the a

new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. all right, let's kick things off with the coronavirus pandemic. a thing your brain is preparing to store as a repressed memory. with more and more americans getting vaccinated the country is starting to look ahead to a new normal. new york city now plans to fully reopen at the beginning of july. and cruiseships will now be able to reopen in the middle of july which means the covid pandemic will reopen at the end of july. we're doing this, people. we're doing it. but maybe the biggest sign that things are getting back to normal is the return of every free loader's favorite way to snack. >> costco is promising to bring back two features that were stopped during the pandemic, big box retailer has the food court and free samples return as long as state regulation as law it. costco says food coulters could reopen with outdoor seating and samples likely offered in to go bags for customers to take outside the store. >> trevor: sorry guys, this is-- i never thought this day would come. i mea

back with us tonight, baratunde thurston, activist, comedian with trevor noah and host of the podcast how to citizen, also host of the upcoming pbs series america outdoors with, wait for it, baraton and former advisor to george w. bush and john mcclain. and now he's thankfully one of the co-hosts of "the circus" on show time. because we have nothing but awful terrible things to talk about, let's just take 20 minutes, point of personal privilege. look at you and your pbs finery. i read the press release like we were blood relatives we around here like to take credit for everything good that has happened in your career, even though nothing could be further from the truth take 20 seconds, tell the good folks about the show and about the podcast episode that drops tomorrow. >> thank you, brian. so gracious and generous i'm hosting with pbs called "america outdoors" ways that haven't been done before and be done a lot more and tomorrow the podcast of the season two drops in all your podcast feeds. folks should check out how to citizen.com and look at the nation's divisions and explore it n

i think trevor noah said it's a rotten tree. he said a quote like that.get it, but just because there are good apples on that tree, does that tree just -- is it no good now? do you get rid of the whole tree? what about the good apples? we got to continue to overrun police departments with good apples and not allow those bad ones. when you see it, get rid of it, so -- >> thank you, officer. i appreciate it. >> thank you. thank you. appreciate you. >>> a movie about the life and death of chicago black panther leader fred hampton getting a lot of oscar buzz and highlighting what black people are going through today. the director of "judas and the black messiah," chaka king, joins me next. kills 99.9% of illness-causing bacteria detergents leave behind. proven to kill covid-19 ♪ ♪ [sneezes] hey allergy muddlers. [sneezes] are your sneezes putting your friends in awkward positions? [sneezes] stick with zyrtec. zyrtec starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. zyrtec. muddle no more. and try children's zyrtec fo

i think trevor noah said, it is a rotten tree or something like that. i get it.hose, just because they're good apples, what about them? we have to continue to overrun police departments with good apples and not allow the bad ones. when you see it, get rid of it. >> thank you, officer. i appreciate it. >> thank you. thank you. appreciate you. >>> a movie about the life and death of chicago black panther leader fred hampton getting a lot of oscar buzz and highlighting what black people are going through today. the author of judas and the black messiah. joins me next. >>> when the oscars are given out next month, a lot of eyes will be on judas and the black messiah, nominated for five oscars including best picture. it hits home for a lot of americans because of its parallels to what is happening today. judas and the black messiah tells a story of fred hampton, the young leader of the black panthers in chicago who was shot dead by police in 1969. so let's talk about the movie and its impact today. with shacka king, the director and up with of the co-writers of judas

and then trevor noah goes, "and the grammy goes to 'i can't breathe' by h.e.r. ] [ cymbal crash ] >> jimmy: the morning after you got your grammys, you got nominated for an oscar for your song, "fight for you." [ cheers and applause how did -- i mean, this is one step closer to the egot. come on. how does it feel >> i know. >> jimmy: i mean it's almost like, so much -- >> it's so crazy >> jimmy: excitement and it's well earned you're awesome >> thank you so much thank you. it felt crazy. i woke up to a bunch of congratulations texts and i was freaking out it was just like one thing after another. i just felt so blessed i don't know it's a historical moment and for me to be so young, i do feel closer to an egot so hopefully i'm speaking that into existence >> jimmy: how did the opportunity come to you for "fight for you?" >> yeah. they reached out to me archie and shaka king, i guess they wanted me to write the theme song for it, and we had some conversations, and i watched the movie in the studio, and i told them, i was like, "i think i can create a masterpiece