popcorn is a lean and sexy 37 pounds while caramel is a lumbering tubbo at 38 pounds. hey, fatso, did you already eat the chicken and the duck? why would anybody vote for caramel who listens to lady gaga when popcorn jams out to beyonce. come on, caramel. lady gaga isn't your friend. she's already dressed up as three of the four major food groups. whereas beyonce sang "i don't think you're ready for this jelly" which is clearly a song about how popcorn is not ready to be served with cranberry sauce. (laughter) long story short, caramel is a loser and the american people agree with me. >> an annual thanksgiving tradition president obama pardoning this year's turkey, popcorn is the name of the turkey, receiving the presidential pardon. popcorn beat a turkey named caramel for the honor. >> stephen: boom! suck it, caramel! the internet has spoken and they decided you lose. and since it's the internet, they've also decided that you're gay! ron paul 2012. (laughter) not sure which of those two you're applauding for but thank you. but nation there's a dark side to this story