tuk tuk from one place to the other until we simplcan't take it no more. next stop? it ain't flavor town. it's some place beyond that, man. way beyond. >> man #2: welcome to thailand and happy stay here in chiang mai. >> anthony: on your mark, get set, go. cheers. this may surprise you, but i am not an alcoholic. i don't drink at home ever. there's no beer in my fridge. if i'm not workin' i'm not hangin' out in bars, but if i was an alcoholic and i did hang in bars, i'd hang here. >> andy: some karaoke maybe? >> anthony: even though the very mention of karaoke makes my blood run cold with fear. [ singing ] [ scattered applause ] >> anthony: you ordered french fries? >> andy: yes, i did. >> anthony: apparently it's an indigenous specialty. >> andy: in thailand, "fen fy" is probably one of the most popular "men-u" items. they always have food to eat when you drink. >> anthony: what is this whiskey we're drinking by the way? i haven't really paid attention. >> andy: this whiskey we're drinking here is actually rum. ♪ [ joe singing in thai ] >> anthony: this guy's good. >> andy: that's one of the great things about a place like this -- you'll never have to fill your own glass. [ joe singing in thai ] >> anthony: "that could be me someday," i'm thinkin'. things go just a little wrong, i go off the rails, this would be all too attractive. i could well see myself singing "happy birthday" in german to tourists at a hotel bar in jakarta or bangkok. enjoy my "fen fy". this is a fantastic discovery. this is gonna stick in my head now, this song. what's the best way to get two servings of veggies? v8 or a powdered drink? ready, go. ahhhhhhhh! shake! shake! shake! shake! shake! done! you gotta shake it! i shake it! glad i had a v8. the original way to fuel your day. and it's also a story mail aabout people and while we make more e-commerce deliveries to homes than anyone else in the country, we never forget... that your business is our business the united states postal service. priority: you ...where each drop was formulated to be smarter.... ...even smarter than that... ...so if a color didn't go on evenly, it would balance itself out to reveal its truest, richest state. if a paint could realize the fullest potential of any color... ...you have to wonder... is it still paint? aura interior from benjamin moo®e . only available at independently owned paint and hardware stores. i decided to see if there was a way for design to play a... ...positive role in what was going on in the world. there's a jacket that's reflective for visibility... ...a sleeping bag jacket, jackets that turn into tents. i usually do my fashion sketches on the computer. i love drawing on the screen. there's no lag time at all. it feels just like my markers. with fashion, you can dress people and help people. it's really cool to see your work come to life. the future isn't silver suits anit's right now.s, think about it. we can push buttons and make cars appear out of thin air. find love anywhere. he's cute. and buy things from, well, everywhere. how? because our phones have evolved. so isn't it time our networks did too? introducing america's largest, most reliable 4g lte combined with the most wifi hotspots. it's a new kind of network. xfinity mobile. ♪ >> anthony: chiang mai at night, and we are well on our way. to where, to what, i don't know, i don't much care. [ woman speaking thai ] >> anthony: but i do know it's time to eat. in thailand it's almost always a time to eat, oh yes, and drink. we shall be doing that too. >> andy: the inevitable ice in beer. the way to drink beer in southeast asia. >> anthony: beer you say? oh all right, in the interest of research, of course. >> andy: you got beer, you got booze, you got ice. you got some grilled meat. >> anthony: snackage? yes. i would like snacks. >> andy: they've got pork chin and intestines. you got a spicy dipping sauce. ah, this is a chinese liquor. >> anthony: all right. >> andy: oh. >> anthony: it tastes like boner medicine. >> andy: yes, it also tastes like a -- a dirty sack. >> anthony: when did you come to thailand first? >> andy: i believe it was 1987. and i came as a backpacker. it was all about, you know, smoking dope on the beach, eating mushrooms, chasing girls, and drinking beer. i had a three-month ticket and i ended up staying away for four years. here we go. >> anthony: oh man. so what was the dish? there's a dish in every traveler's life where they just said, "okay, you know, my previous life is not gonna be enough for me anymore, you know?" >> andy: it was a particular mushroom. they make soup out of it. it was unlike anything i'd ever had in my life. >> anthony: when i first came out to this part of the world, and those -- noodles. i mean, i knew right then -- i ani'm not joking. it wasn't the girls. it wasn't the beaches. the noodles, the greasy bottle of fish sauce, and the smell. it's this terrible moment where you realize, i can't share this. that's it. >> andy: in about five seconds we're gonna go past a woman who has a cowboy hat on. >> anthony: the lady with the hat stands out among the dozens of street vendors across from the old city's north gate. >> andy: the best khao kha moo, or stewed pork leg, in the city, potentially none finer in thailand. >> anthony: yeah, are we goin' -- are we doin' that still? >> andy: well -- >> anthony: for years, she's been serving this -- khao kha moo, slowly stewed pork. >> andy: she cooks it in a master sauce. you know, the chinese master sauce where you cook it in the same thing, it probably goes back at least a generation. >> anthony: it's like sherry, there's a little bit of the original batch still in there. >> andy: exactly. >> anthony: she's hacking red meat all day. and there's like not a drop on the -- the frilly. >> andy: on the ruffley -- this is the sauce that goes with it. it's kinda like a sour chili sauce. and then you gotta have some of these pickled mustard greens too, pak dong. >> anthony: that's really tasty. >> andy: this place is famous as hell. like half the people here are tourists, probably chinese tourists. >> anthony: let's do it. >> andy: you want to stick your feet in some fish war? >> anthony: eh -- no. >> andy: no. >> anthony: all right, let's go, guys. i need to stop at a sports bar. i need some chicken wings, i need some like, uh, fried mozzarella sticks. i need to go to a gun range. more beer, more food. >> andy: if you go on the sidewalk it'll take us like 10 minutes to get 50 feet. kind of stay to your right and don't get killed. >> anthony: what was i saying? oh yes, beer loves crispy. beer loves salty. beer loves fatty. spicy, salty, fried together? happiness. [ waitress speaking thai ] >> andy: oh okay. no beer. >> anthony: okay, what are they drinking? >> andy: uh, they're drinking water. >> anthony: clear, kidney-cleaning water. so good and so important to a healthy lifestyle. i'd imagine. midnight nam prik moon. that's what you do after you've had a few drinks. maybe a lot of drinks, because what you need -- maybe you didn't know you needed it, but you do -- is nam prik. thai chili dip. >> andy: yeah. nam prik is what the vast majority of thai people who live in america who come to thailand to visit who go back ended up getting busted at the airport for trying to bring in. >> anthony: we get two kinds. nam prik ta dang. >> andy: it's a combination of chilies, garlic, shrimp paste, dried fish. >> anthony: and this -- >> andy: colloquially known as midnight nam prik num. >> anthony: made from roasted green chilies. accompanied by god's preferred delivery system for beer-friendly goodness. >> andy: ooh. >> anthony: yeah. >> andy: yeah. >> anthony: yum on that. a whole bunch of deep fried little salty, meaty, delicious things, yes please. uh-huh. >> andy: oh -- me. and kai toon. >> anthony: yes. and oh yes, something i've loved from the first mouthful i ever had right here in chiang mai all those years ago -- thai pork sausage. >> andy: mm. crispy, meaty, salty. >> anthony: i love it. i want to rub it all over my body. this sausage is so amazing. and it's somehow the thing you need right now. this is totally the thing i need right now. oh, it's so good. ly pain and constipation? i could build a small city with all the over-the-counter products i've used. enough! i've tried enough laxatives to cover the eastern seaboard. i've climbed a mount everest of fiber. probiotics? enough! (avo) if you've had enough, tell your doctor what you've tried and how long you've been at it. linzess works differently from laxatives. linzess treats adults with ibs with constipation or chronic constipation. it can help relieve your belly pain, and lets you have more frequent and complete bowel movements that are easier to pass. do not give linzess to children less than six, and it should not be given to children six to less than eighteen. it may harm them. don't take linzess if you have a bowel blockage. get immediate help if you develop unusual or severe stomach pain, especially with bloody or black stools. the most common side effect is diarrhea, sometimes severe. if it's severe stop taking linzess and call your doctor right away. other side effects include gas, stomach-area pain and swelling. talk to your doctor about managing your symptoms proactively with linzess. "america" by simon and garfun [ snoring ]ental) [ deep sleep snoring ] the all-new volkswagen atlas. seats seven, sleeps six. life's as big as you make it. ray's always been different. last year, he said he was going to dig a hole to china. at&t is working with farmers to improve irrigation techniques. remote moisture sensors use a reliable network to tell them when and where to water. so that farmers like ray can compete in big ways. china. oh ... he got there. that's the power of and. >> anthony: okay, come to me, my love, right now. you big, nasty, unfamiliar semi-coquette. oh, it's so good. i would throat your body isn't a temple, it's an amusement park, enjoy the ride. but that was before i had a daughter and a respectable job at cnn. so when that little voice in my head said, "call it a night, quit while you're ahead", i probably should have listened. wait, where did we leave off? oh yes, now i remember. bouncing to one bar after another. >> andy: we're going that way. >> anthony: which way? >> andy: that way. >> anthony: okay, good. andy and i have clearly tukeptable conduct. but do we call it a night, quit while we're ahead? no. >> andy: we're gonna head over to see the time-honored adition -- >> ladies and gentelmen -- >> andy: -- of the ladyboy cabaret. >> anthony: yeah, let's do that. [ cheers ] all right, here it is. ♪ ladyboys, as they are known in thailand, have led to many an embarrassing moment to the amorous cowboy too buzzed to notice or care much about the details. >> andy: my first experience with this kind of an atmosphere in thailand happened in koh pha ngan in 1987. i met this girl and i was like stoked because it was like, "oh, she's into me." and, like, at some point she sat on my lap, and she's like, "oh, well i have to go now. i have to go do something." and she gave me a kiss, and i was like, "i'm in." and the show started. ♪ you can forgive a guy for making a mistake. >> anthony: totally. many ladyboys, frankly, are pretty spectacular looking, especially the ones who have breasteses. you know, the women are harshin' th