you ever notice how president of turkmenistan gurbanguly berd-muha-meadow are never in the same room at the same time. >> no! >> stephen: oh, yes. >> stephen: and, madam, it is not just your name dropping i call into question. i question cur title. it's called "hard choices." but there aren't any real hard choices in here. >> what about negotiating fragile alliances and treaty. >> stephen: oh, i'm talking about real hard choices-- eternal questions like which would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses? ( cheers and applause ). >> well -- >> stephen: boom! >> now, i admit that is a valid question. here's what i'd do. first, i'd try to find common ground between ducks and horses. for instance, they both grew up on old mcdonald's farm. then, i'd establish a timetable to achieve meaningful horse-duck dialogue. ( laughter ) and, stephen, i'm convinced-- with patience and a strong commitment from our allies, the pigs and the geese, we'd have peace-peace here, peace-peace, there, here a peace, there a peace, everywhere a peace. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: