are moments that you learn to cope and you learn to, oh, god, do i want to make this person uncomfor theable by telling them i want a king-size bed for me and my partner, not my business partner but my life partner. this is ongoing circle of coping and coming out. >> but ongoing, also, is the journey of millions of people, some you know, some you don't, who were perfectly happy with you making a domestic arrangement, working it out, filling in some of the legal blanks through other means, not marriage, and that was fine. they didn't hate you. they were happy with the way things were, that you couldn't get married because marriage was an institution that was reserved for certain people and not you. >> well, you know, it's interesting that there was this idea of redefining what marriage means. and through our entire case, we never redefined marriage. for us, it was a universal story of love. right? you fall in love. you want to get married. >> that's someone everyone can touch on their lives. all we wanted was the right to marry because of the rights that come with it. and many times, we encou