i think these are very human impulses, and very understandabe impulses. but if we do not create the social institutions that can help gay men restraint a little, encourage a little stability and fidelity and commitment then the fire next time could be even worse than the fire last time. i am doing this for the people i love. i am not saying it, i'm trying to make a nuanced point here. i don't think every gay men should get married. i don't think having lots of sex with lots of people is the worst thing in the world at all. i have. i am saying that from a purely objective viewpoint if there are no social institutions to encourage commitment of one person to another then collectively the consequences are psychologically and in the end physically terrible just as societies in which marriage collapses or a city where some marriage collapses and the families collapse, the consequences for the people are really kind of bad. even though every single one is amazing in its regard, and we should not condemn. and i'm not. i'm just saying, the data is clear. i want