i assumed death would be a gradual transiltion, a passage after a long illness and sad, unhurried goode bye, not a midlife thunder clap. >> that's what it was. it was one hour before he collapsed, never to regain consciousness, ripped and ri were on the phone laughing and making our christmas plans. and i guess partly what i want people to take from this book is that this is a cliche but i'm here to till it's real. this is it. this is life. right here what we're living is life. there is very little beyond that that you can count on. which should not put a giant cloud over the present. on the contrary, it should, it should make us really focus on what we're living now. as richard did, until the very end. >> rose: if he did knock he lived life to the fullest. >> it was an os tonishing love story. and i had such joy in writing it. because it turned out that this was in 1993, and i had escaped to paris where i always seem to go when i'm in trouble, with my two small children, and fleeing an unraveling marriage to peter 15 years of struggle, finally i got up the courage to leave. and richard was