each morning you woke up into the innocence that with with all children and at the time you're unknowing ofiore and i am imagine before you died you began the return to the child you were, a little boy of great purity. i want to believe for those hours you were free of the weight of what was near and sleep took you back in time and guiding through the corridors you occupied and the bliss of a child. i would have given anything at all to make this imaginary scenario true and as you watched your children run and play and laugh and scream. our last visit was your last sunday as you died four days later. when we arrived you were in a hospital bed in your and abbey's bed and your eyes were closed. as soon as you heard by voice you reacted but you couldn't really move or talk. there were occasional murmurings that you gave that showed you understood what we were saying. all day long you would lift your head up and fix your eyes on me intently and with the unguarded candor and gaze at me for long periods of time. your eyes looked so beautiful. they were always beautiful. hazel and changeable in color