aand you got unlimitedata because you hav directv?? y(laughs to self in disbelief) okay, just a few more sts... at&t... it's cool! ? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! give it up for jon batiste stay human! thank you, sir. cheers, cheers. oh! oh my friends. oh, my friends. welcome back to the show. we're having a fine time tonight. you picked a good one to watch. now, before we go on, i just want to say that i'm a practicing catholic. and i enjoy going to church. are ceend of sacred, you know. and what i really miss about going to church is going to confession. so i'd like to take a moment and confess to my audience. you won't tell anybody, right? >> audience: of course n! >> stephen: great. this is "stephen colbert's midnight confessions." ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) >> stephen: standard disclaimer: these might not technically be sins, but i do feel guilty about them. okay, i'll be right back. forgive me, audience. my new year's resolution is cancelling the gym membership i got last year. audience, audien