i put some miles in on my knees, all upon upin' and downin' and crissin' and crossin'. hey, colbert, you have a stamp on your head. i thought it was a hand stamp for heaven. some godless go guy can swoop in at the 11th hour and get redeemed? i want a refund. you know what i could have done with all those hours at church? i could have learned slide guitar. ( laughter ) i could have become fluent in thai. "ka pra nuk no gaah." that means, nothing because i never learned thai. ( cheers and applause ) and i just think-- i just think, francis, maybe somebody should have mentioned that believing in god waa optional. because-- news flash ! -- it's ridiculous. an invisible wizard created the heavens and the earths in six days? took me a month just to stain my deck! ( laughter ) now, normally, folks, in a time of trial like that i would turn to god for guidance. but i guess it doesn't matter anymore. so i might as well turn to this stapler. so according to the pope, that's just as good. ( laughter ) oh, one true office supply. i am so confused. help me. what should i do? i'm a b

. >> some folks the toll plaza help you out, no more back upin the cash lanes. university avenue easy drive. berkeley coming out of richmond maps will show you east shore freeway as well as maze moves nicely. air owe shows you where we took a look. slowing as you're passing by pinole valley road right by the on-ramp, flashing rights. pinole police have shut down the on ramp at pinole valley road to westbound 80. that is where there's a crash reported off of the roadway. no further updates from chp. tri-valley easy throw through livermore. back here at grant line road. a metal car ramp at on-ramp, watch it we don't want dukes of hazard action. palo alto no problems. debris reported at hillsdale. i'll wait for an update on what's on the roadway. >> dukes of hazzard reference. love it, watch boss hogg is watching. >>> a dern problem, we'll tell you what's up next for b.a.r.t. >>> a man who made billions founding napster will pay for his lavish wedding. the vote that will take a chunk of change out of his wallet. >>> welcome back everybody. napster founder shawn par

are upin virginia, you next. caller: i was calling to let you know that i have totally lost afterin our government the targeting of the conservative people. not much has been said about the targeting of businesses. businesses donated to a last republican party. -- last republican election. some of them had to pay millions of dollars in legal fees and yet nothing was found out by any of them that had done anything wrong except they had given it -- they were given to the republican party. there's something very wrong in our government. as far as all of this targeting and secret e-mail's, you cannot follow any trails in the white house anymore because they do not put much on paper. it seems like much has changed down the line. no one seems to be accountable. the president just sweeps in office under the white house rug. i am sure it is getting pretty dam bumpy right now. i am fed up with them. i've one thing to say about spying on people. i thought it was a federal law to prevent people from going into anyone's mail