he wants me to buy an island from urulu. >> elroy: but, sir, urulu hates you. after all, you did kick him, and a few kicks -- >> binghamton: i know. i know. i know what i did. oh, i tell you, there's only one person that can get me out of this, and i would rather face a squad of kamikaze pilots. >> mchale: i'd like to help you out of your jam, captain, but my mind -- my mind. i just can't seem to concentrate with my boys in the brig awaiting court-martial. >> chuck: he's right, sir. he hasn't been himself lately. why, he was nauseous at breakfast. >> mchale: yeah. >> binghamton: all right, all right, you blackmailers. i'll drop the charges against your pirates, but i'm warning better get that island. >> chuck: hey, skip, you hear that? the guys are free. captain, i don't care what anybody says -- you do have a heart. >> binghamton: all right, mchale, how are we going to work this? >> mchale: well, now let's face it, captain, you're not gonna like this, but it's the only way out. you're just gonna have to make friends with urulu. >> binghamton: friends? how can

- nobody get to big urulu. i call shots around here. - speaking of shots, i'll have another one. - well, urulu, you won't be calling him for very long, i'll tell ya. that binghamton is sneakier than that tough tony in that movie. yes, sir. ha ha. you want to know something? he'll give you the shove, 10 minutes after we leave. scout don't change stripe over night. it's high time i show lead bottom who boss man around here. - oh, no, no, no, no, urulu, no, no, no. be reasonable now. just sign the treaty. - oh, you finish, mchale. come noon tomorrow, you out of business. too bad, but that the way coconut crumble. - oh, i guess we told him. 23 skiddoo. - oh, chuck, come on, will ya? listen... - [speaking native language] - well, uh, greetings, chief, uh, boss. that's a lovely hat you're wearing. - always dress formal when come to talk business, lead bottom. - protection? protection from who? who, who? - from me, me, me. you no pay off, never know what happen. - good heavens. how dare you break my window. - you no p

urulu no talk. you can kill, burn soles of feet, pull out fingernails. - we'll give you 10 bucks. - who need fingernails? customer name sessua konokotu, 17943 imperial japanese army, island of molokai--you trade. - chuck, give him 10 dollars. - getting to be kind of an expensive war there, skip. - boys, we're going to pay little old sessua a social visit. - yeah, but, skip, that island is how are we going to get behind the lines? - oh, well, i figured that out, too--urulu's going to take us. yeah. we're all signing on as his new traveling salesmen. [chuckles] - yeah, yeah. - oh, no, can't go. tonight tuesday--got to stay open for late shoppers. - urulu, i'm warning you. - ok, ok, but heck of a way for salesman to treat boss. - come on. - shh, shh. we here. - hey, skip, that's our barrage balloon. - what does the sign say? - look, that is not only an enemy, he's our competitor. price cutter. - hey, boys, remember now-- we're polynesian salesmen, huh? - yeah. - count on us, skip--oggo hoggo bunga. - o

binghamton just made a deal with urulu. and by tomorrow there will be more divers in our lagoon than at coney island on the fourth of july. - urulu? how did they get together? - those guys will never get along. - you're wrong. we saw them. they were kissing. - what? - hey, fuj, what's to eat? - for supper we have sea ration on shingle. sorry, i burnt everything else. - it figures. hey, virg, you better snag on to something pretty soon or we'll all starve to death. - not a chance, skip, i haven't had a bite all-- hey, hold the phone! i think i got something! - yeah, yeah, yeah. - christy, give me a hand. - if feels like a whale. it is a whale. there she blows. [laughter] - what whale. that's a 2 man sub boat. grab your rifles. come on. keep pulling. keep pulling. here we go, around this way. come on! keep pulling. [all yelling at once] this way, this way, this way. come on. come on out of there! come on! - hey, skip, the joint's empty. - yeah, they must have abandoned ship. - hey, how about that? - we got our own 2 man sub.

"dear diary, this afternoon gruber lost the captain's jeep to urulu in a poker game." - sir, all these months you've been making me pay for it. - "march 17th. "dear diary, tonight the guys borrowed officers' uniforms and crashed the dance in the nurses' quarters." hmm, carpenter, do you realize what this means? - oh, it's the discovery of the century, sir. as soon as we get back to the office, i'll get the court- martial papers ready. - no, no, no, no, i've seen mchale wiggle out of too many tight ones. i'm going to take this right to admiral rogers. we'll let him file the charges. ha ha ha. - that's brilliant strategy, sir. what about the torpedo, sir? - oh, darn the torpedoes and full speed ahead to my office safe. - oh, that's cute, sir. - i thought you'd like that. we're going to lock up dear diary until we shove off for comfleet in the morning. - oh, sir. - what's so terrible? - so, he found his diary. - hold it. hold it. now, chuck, you've been doing a lot of scribbling lately. exactly what did you put in that diary? - well, it's just kind of collection of all the colorful things