>> the ghost haunts my vagina? >> yes.ze. >> you are laughing but it's very serious problem. >> and then you have to call in a team? >> i know it sounds ridiculous. but in all honestly, i believe in all this crazy [ bleep ]. so i was told that i had dead people in me. >> who told you this? >> my therapist. >> okay. >> then she said she had to exor size my body. then i got a ghost meter to read and it beeps at my vagina. >> you wondered why it was half off on amazon. >> it seemed to be accurate. i was going through a dry spell. it all makes sense now. >> i'm glad you figured oit out. >> i was in alaska filming my crazy beautiful life. >> you have more family members working on your show and tour than i do. i was really amazed at it. >> it's a total family affair. >> your mom was on it. >> yeah. >> do you really live in the house together? >> i live like a mile away from mm mom because she steals my clothes. i kind of make everybody come on tour with me. >> yeah. you will see my mom is on stage in the penis outfit. my cousin

they're inside of my vagina.swell up and they get really uncomfortable and painful at times. anytime i have intercourse, that makes them swell. i have had one removed surgically before. i had one drained. and i just wanna know, what can i do to help prevent this from recurring? and also, are there treatments that you know about that help me with what i have today? >> sounds like she has berthol an's glands cysts or abscesses, small fluid-filled sacs, like this at the vagina at the 4 and 8 o'clock positions of the vagina. what happens is during the sexual activity, that can get irritated or inflamed and the duct to the gland can get blocked and when blocked the fluid accumulates in the gland and then that can get infected and that can lead to pain and that can cause what forms an abscess. and when you get a -- get it drained, the cyst is still there. so that's why they keep coming back. >> you said that you have one of them surgery removed, because as dr. berman is describing, think of a cyst like a balloon, you p

>> you are suffocating your vagina. >> coming tomorrow, what to expect when you are not expecting. >>e deliver breaking medical news, but a baby? >> slow deep breathes, okay? >> what you need to know when labor strikes. then, the doctors confessional. >> they get uncomfortable and painful. >> this is a really important subject matter. >> beauty tips from the most beautiful women in hollywood. nicole kidman and catherine zeta-jones, all new on the doctors. tomorrow. and then on monday ... all new, sharon osbourne joins the doctors, the dangerous trend that almost killed her . >> this is really hard to do by the way, what she's doing, i hope everyone realizes that. >> all new on the doctors. coming upon monday! ♪ >> everybody on your feet! ♪ ♪ [ applause ] >> so, every day before the show, we have watched the audience getting warmed up from backstage. we usually see some great dancers, tearing it up. love to see that. now and then we see "other stuff" that maybe we need to address to say the least. specifically, wardrobe malfunctions that could be affecting your health. we have a very g

. >> today on "tmz" -- >> chrissy tiegen was going to be here to guest host, but she was busy vaginarying. >> she was having fun with another huge supermodel, brooklyn decker. >> as someone who is a drunk girl a lot. i have never given my irlfriends a vagina raspberry. >> you need better friends. >> we have captain richard phillips of "captain phillips." so he is still alive, which i didn't know, kind of ruined the ending of the movie for me. >> b

vagina? >> this is so confusing. there is one message for the healthy and one for the young and one for the old. so i made my own commercial. >> hello, i am johnny knoxville, and if someone understands how young people behave, i know right now you feel -- (bleep)! >> i feel like everyone should be covered. >> absolutely. >> because you never know when something unexpected -- then again, you are young. what is the worst that can happen? oh, no! >> responsible adults don't have to pay when stupid -- >> oh! (bleep)! >> [ applause ] >> jon: tonight my guest tonight, best selling author, his books, he translated and wrote the introduction for, it is called the reason i jump. the ininer voice of a 13-year-old boy with autism by noki, hiroshita, please welcome to the show david mitchell. [ applause ] >> jon: thank you so much for being here. >> it is a pleasure. >> jon: as much as i love your books and i do love your books -- >> thank you. >> jon: -- this, the reason i jump is one of the most remark

'g-'ginas... vaginas? what's up, vaginas?! ah-ha, gotcha! mr.ed now. got a lot of free time. so what do you guys do here? well, we usually just sit here and complain about our lives. like this morning, lois was such a pain in the ass... hey! that's my daughter you're talking about! oh. i mean this, um, redheaded lady who lives in my bed was a real pain in the ass this morning. oh, she sounds like a bitch. yeah, what a bitch. bitchazoid, right, guys? yeah. i hope you're doing her. oh, big time. yeah, that's hot. that's hot. i'm gonna think about that tonight. oh, we do all kinds of crazy stuff. sometimes we even have phone sax. don't you mean phone sex? no, joe. phone sax. are you ready? you better believe it. (playing "baker street") oh, peter! yeah. now your turn. and do it how i like. (giggles) okay. (playing intro to "you can call me al") yeah. don't wash the mouthpiece. good news, guys. now that grandpa's retired, he's gonna have more time to spend with us. all: oh! we don't want to do that, mom. yeah, all he ever does is ask you what you wa

raise your hand if you have a vagina. raise r hand if someone you love has a vagina. yeah, yeah, okay. just about everyone. what about deangelo's hand? oh, wow. he's got 'em both up. yeah. uh-huh, yeah. so it bothers me when i hear that there's gossip round here that i treat women lesser than men. okay? frankly, we all look a little ridiculous when that happens. - i'm not a feminist, but i think that the men in this office are being given chances that the women aren't. - dwight. what's your take? - what's the argument here? nba, wnba. one is a sport, one is a joke. i love sports, i love jokes. room for all. - man, you're smart. - oh, hey, hi. hello. - hi. - welcome. uh, everyone, i'd like you to please welcome jordan garfield. this is everyone. - hello. - so jordan, uh, where did you work before? uh, a law office? - no, anthropologie. "we don't have this in that size." pretty--pretty lame. - hm. - is this your first office job then? - yeah. - yup. - wow. - no corporate experience whatsoever. i didn't want anyone with any bad habits. kevin: nice! - jim, you coming? - o

she's french and she likes to -- that's where she takes her vagina, so that's where i go.een you in a while. things have changed. so what do you do in france? m sced to ask. >> hang out. vacation with the family and all. it's nice. we have a good time. >> ellen: yeah. >> you know, they stillpea french. they still allow french over there. >> ellen: all the french people? >> all the french people. my daughter picked it up. they speak french, but when we're in france, they were in a -- >> ellen: how old are your twins? >> four. she turned to her grandmother, in french she tells her, "they speak french here too." and i'm like, "you're in france, dummy, everybody speaks french." >> ellen: did you say that to your daughter? >> i didn't. >> ellen: does your son speak french as well? >> yes. they both speak french. >> ellen: you have to start learning freh. you must know mre french now. >> i know more, but it's kind of nice not knowing. it's kind of nice. like they ask me for stuff and i go, "i have no idea what you just said." you know. "i have no idea." so i can ignore more thin

her vagina's called linda. pretty name. uh, listen, i don't want to overstep my bounds. this is your house, and you're free to bring into it whoever or... whatever you choose. but i-i do think that i have the right to protect jake from being exposed to certain people. then you better take him to a hotel for a couple days, 'cause that girl ain't leaving till one of us is dead. come on, charlie. no, no, no, you come on. you see a little body ink and a cigarette, and you immediately condemn her, but let me tell you something. she's smart, she got a great sense of humor, and in bed, she moves like one of those paint shakers at sherwin-williams. nevertheless... i would rather she didn't hang around jake. fine. i'll talk to her. thank you. you're welcome. now, unless you want to lather up my fanny, i'm gonna go hop in the shower with anacoth and linda. so when coverage really counts, count on nationwide insurance. because what's precious to you is precious to us. ♪ love, love is strange just another way we put members first. because we don't have shareholders. join the nation.

en la vagina. >> fue visitar al mÉdico. >> es un experto.o que fue llamado la tÉcnica consiste en proyectar puede todo y una mente enfoca enfocada, puede lograr milagros y catÁstrofes. cualquiera con gran imaginaciÓn. ara el momento que tos hemos esperado tur durante el programa de al rojo vivo, quiÉn es el "cuco." es el "cuco" eel misterioso personaje con que papi y mami nos metÍa miedo, se trata de alguien que no tiene nada de "cuco," el actor gabriel coronel un aplaus >> ¿cÓmo estÁs? si m hieran metido "cuco" co uno d tu. >> lo hac todasas ns en papel de antonio. en telendo, sabemos que tendremos al rojo vivoa semana prÓxima con el lanzamiento de tu primer disco "desnudo" >> asi esl 5 de noviembre sale prime nombre. sfoousht dispuesta a matar a misfans. >> asÍ que gracias por estar con nosotros, te vamos a seguir viendo todas las noches y bueno, antes de irnos les ctamos que maÑana tenemos un reportaje especial de como nosemos divertido haciendo esto para ustedes lo que pasÓ atrÁs de cÁmaras les queremos dar las gracias al equipo de producciÓn, a nuestro jefe por permitirnos hacer esto,

. >> today on "tmz" -- >> chrissy tiegen was going to be here to guest host, but she was busy vaginang. >> she was having fun with another huge supermodel, brooklyn decker. >> as someone who is a drunk girl a lot. i have never given my irlfriends a vagina raspberry. >> you need better friends. >> we have captain richard phillips of "capta

. >> i call this one the sexy vagina.nd what better way to get everyone thinking about sex than dressing up as the place where sex happens. >> jon: yeah but it somehow seems worse for women. degrading. i don't know. >> i know what you are into, jon. calm down. >> jon: right. >> huh? ooh, wow. [cheers and applause] [laughter] hello, sexiest pizza ever. does the cheese match the crust? i'll never tell. >> jon: can i ask a question? do those things normally have pizza in them. >> you've never seen any one of them >> jon: a best selling author. my guest tonight his new book is called "david and goliath" please welcome to the program malcolm gladwell. [cheers and applause] how are you? [cheers and applause] >> good. >> jon: book is called "david and goliath." basically the premise being sometimes being david is a very positive thing. you can use those to your advantage is that the desirable adversity -- >> difficulties is the praise i use in the book. it's an examation of underdogs. lots of things that seem like disadvantages

while you were gone, i hired a decorator and i asked him, "what would the inside of tinkerbell's vagina look like?" and the kid just ran with it! so... what do you think? thank god you're still here! welcome home. louis never smiles. [ laughs ] [ smooch ] [ male announcer ] french the rainbow! for baby marvin's birth announcement card instead of me. whatever. the only problem? (camera snapping) okay. how about this? tomorrow, we go to central park at sunset and we get the perfect picture in the perfect setting. oh, i like that. it'll be marvin's first outing into the world. you're gonna love the park, buddy. it's a great place to meet chicks. or-or dudes. or both. oh, we love you no matter what! narrator: and kids, as i watched your aunt lily hold her baby boy, another thought popped into my head. even though you didn't buy anything, i want to thank you for coming in. here's a free teddy bear. what are you gonna name the little guy? six pack. gun it, bitches! (engine revs) narrator: that girl's a mom! (engine revving) (phone chimes) okay, so i met this girl on the train, and i texted he

wish i could say the same for her vagina and asshole. - that's a great idea you had to sneak the hostages inside the bank. - yeah, it sure was. - we're sorry we tried to burn you and murder you before. - oh, that's okay. this whole thing was my fault. i learned that i shouldn't get high to come up with ideas. i should come up with ideas and then get high, to reward myself. you said it. -- >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. our guest tonight the lovely and talented kerry washington, the show from scandal, the show about a team, they love the scandal. as many off them know, a show about a team of competent professionals in our nation's capitol. it's-- fiction. i guess obviously we're going to be begin tonight as we have begun for the past three nights. with our continuing coverage of-- shutdown 2013! >> jon: all right, in the past few days you pay have developed an impression that nothing works any more, not

i'm dancing from my vagina. one, two, three, four. i'm grinding, i'm grinding. we're done. you do 20% that, and we got a movie. peter, what is all this? oh, hi, lois. i live upstairs now. what? that's right. i made a nest of my old underwears on which to lay my eggs, and i shall raise my young in this room alone. peter, you're being an idiot. oh, really? would an idiot have been able to rig this rig to that rig? peter, that's nothing. oh, is it? i died! i died! oh, hi. you must be kate. i'm brian's nurse. he's had a little accident, i'm afraid. oh, my god, brian! are you okay? ah, don't worry. i'm fine. i'm just sort of bandaged up right now. you must be kate's parents. it's so nice to meet you. well, it's lovely to meet you, too. so what happened? what happened is this one's a hero, is what happened. rescued two children from a burning building. can you imagine? not quite in time-- they were both horribly burned. have that sort of crème brûlée face going on now, but he saved their lives. oh, my god, brian. i know, right? so noble. plus he's the only one of my p

year, an took was one estimated $20 million, 47 vaginas.ut who cares because the new one's way better. you read all the specs on it? >> nine beds, eight baths, movie theater, koi bond, wine room and if tiger woods hasn't elin'stramped behind back, she never would have built this palace in the first place. good work! enjoy the house, elin. challengedb ass jason amoa to a slap battle so it and tries to do misses the first time. amoa's turn.on he hits him so many times and you can hear each one getting louder and louder. you cannd of the video, see this guy, he can barely put his hands back together. he's shaking in fear that every to slapon amoa's going his hands. >> it's not the one where you do this? you.t me show >> yeah! >> want to play it? >> let's play it. don't do it yet. >> you got to move your hands this. >> am i allowed -- [laughter] up --ing >> kim kardashian and kanye west went out last night. the most interesting thing about you get a nice shot of the ring. >> can i give you the irony here? irony there, big guy. >> hold on to the

what i'm looking for is something like a vagina. (gasping) what? and like put a vagina.you do those? no-no-no-no-no! (suzanne) on the groom's cake? (roslyn) no-no! like, saying, like, this is yo' last piece. no! why not-- what's wrong with-- that's ridiculous! no, that's embarrassing. how's that embarrassing? no. that's crazy! (suzanne) will there be little kids? yeah, there will be kids there. just family! but, they don't have to come over there. that is gross. that is gross! do that in your own-- the privacy of your own room. well, i want something sexy. no. no! no! can you touch her forehead and make sure she doesn't have a fever, or something like that, because you have to be outta your mind to think of something like that? i thought long and hard about it. i'm sure you did-- i'm sure you did! i mean, i had the design of the vagina and everything. (roslyn) well, that one's definitely out of the queion. okay, go with whatever she says. roslyn, of course, had a lot of input on the decision of the cake. where i just went ahead and just kinda let her make the decision fo

. >> the vagina and penis are too important to use a picture to diagnose. to the "spin to win." how the government shut down can affect your health. flu shots and food supplies. what you need to know today on "the doctors" ♪ >> how is everyone doing! [cheers and applause]

. >> when you have camel toe, you are suffocating your vagina. >> the dreaded whales tail. >> it willand how they go awry. >> he actually caused her to have a stroke. >> the dutch oven. >> and in today's news in 90. tom hanks' serious diagnosis. >> how to instagram the pounds away, today! ♪ doctor, doctor gimme the news ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how's it going? [ crowd cheering ] [ applause ]

. >> did she go vagina

va a seguir repitiendo, y ptu no lo disfrutas, y algunas veces vamos a contraer los mÚsculos de la vaginavo pretzel pub chicken de wendy's. un sÁndwich de pollo, como ningÚn otro. mucho mejor. >>> ayer vimos la primera parte de dos madres que aceptaron el reto educativo en esta semana de la educaciÓn, y para mantener el balance no fue nada fÁcil, y veamos la conclusiÓn de esta historia sobre los centros. >>> tengo mucha presiÓn en mi trabajo. >>> para los exÁmenes finales. >>> no sÉ si lograre ese diploma. >>> cuando lleguÉ a la primer clase no sabÍa que se necesitaba. >>> la mayorÍa de los padres a los que nosotros invitamos no entienden como funciona el sistema educativo. >>> nuestro trabajo es como comunicarse con los consejeros, hasta donde un padre puede llega llegar. >>> voy a seguir motivando a mi niÑo que logremos que sea lo que no pude ser yo. >>> y que que le conviene a ellos, que es lo que la universidad le va a cubrir. >>> cubrimos la ayuda financiera, hablamos de subsidio, estudio trabajo, los prestamos, las diferentes ayuda para estudiantes ab540. >>> 9 semanas son dos meses

. >> the vagina and penis are too important to use a picture to diagnose.u excited? >> yes. >> is it cool i'm hanging out this close with awful you? we're getting our audience involved today. today's show we're all going to learn to prevent yourself from burning out. >> good. [ applause ] >> late-night snacks you can eat without hurting that waistline. and what you can do right now to prevent food born illness. we're going to answer these three questions and more throughout the hour. first we want to know what's on everyone's mind. we want to get our audience involved. some o have your questions of what is going on in the news. we are talking to maci first. maci, you heard af you few news stories and have a concern. >> yes, i heard about a study on is that poohs and how they have cancer causing chemicals. i'm concerned. what's your take on that. >> you want clean fresh hair, right. >> ya. >> docs, should we be worried. >> i'm going to ask a question. how many in the audience read the ingredients on their sham paofplt i know you would, doctor. i mean you sho

i had no idea but a fanny apparently means vagina in england. >> that i did not know. >> there you goional expansion is off to a great start. >> very nice. >> they're quiet aren't they. >> thank you. >> i somehow feel responsible for this. >> you are responsible for this. that story is too precious. >> i took it to butts. it didn't know we were going to take it there. >> sara, thank you very much. becky, thank you. >>> warren is going to be sticking around. joe we're going to get you a shirt. you're buffed now but will be more buffed when it sucks you right in. before we go to a break real quick, take a look at shares. stanley black and decker is trading lower in the market after earnings a penny higher than estimates. cutting it down for the year. slow recovery of profit margins. and the government shutdown, more stocks to watch when we return. so we talked about her options. her valuable assets were staying. and selling her car wouldn't fly. we helped sydney manage her debt and prioritize her goals, so she could really turn up the volume on her dreams today... and tomorrow. so let's

the groom's cake-- what i'm looking for is something kind of like a vagina. (gasping) what?ass herself, when she unveiled her version of the bride and groom dance. i'm not-- oh, heck no! (announcer) and to top it off, brandi slurred her way through a wine tasting. which one do you recommend with fried chicken? (announcer) so, with only three days left, until the wedding, will brandi be able to pull off her high-class wedding, despite her low-class budget? (brandi) i'm gonna have to take two birth control pills, tonight. it ain't gonna work. you see how this dress is? (announcer) or will she become a stomach turning... moy burning... i need a thousand dollars. (announcer) leash tightening... keep the hoes out yo' face. (announcer) absolutely frightening... over the top bridezilla? they will do what i tell them to do. can you bring me some chicken? maaaaaaaark! i put the "b" in bridezilla. like the x-rated movies-- raw and uncut footage. (announcer) despite brandi's full schedule and empty bank account, she manages to find time and money to take in a day at the spa. (brandi) m

those last 10 years for the production of the vagina dialog and the anti violence resource guide. he produced the dance pledge against city hall. we need to make sure that neighborhoods are represented. i urge you to vote for mr. perez >> good afternoon. commissioner i'm helen. i was a former library commissioner in 2000 to 2008. i've served in the housing commission since 1970 and a survivor of feinsteins appointment to the advisory committee. i want you to know that mr. perez not only brings his unique contributions to the community