[van halen chords play] ♪ ♪ - thank you, everyone.range food on this trip. - yummy, yummy. i want your farts in my tummy. - excuse me, i'm sorry, everyone, but apparently there's some breaking news in the united states. - we're in colorado where the red cow was discovered, and apparently two boys have shocking news that might change everything. - yes, there's something that you all need to know. the truth about the red cow. we have all been-- [phone ringing] sorry, hang on. [ringing] [beep] hello? - dude, do not do this. - no, dude, you don't understand. cartman hasn't been telling the truth. - yes, i know that! why do you think i've been putting up with his farts? - oh... - "oh," what? - i know cartman made it all up, okay? i also know that nothing is more important for humanity than peace in the middle east. i'm okay with this, stan. - well, i'm not okay with it, 'cause it's turned you into a dick, kyle. - i'm not a dick! i'm like gandhi. - you know, i don't think when gandhi starved himself he was all, "dude, look how [bleep] aweso