i spl i absolutely love the van ryn family.s would act like if he were here now because they loved me when they thought that i was their daughter and then they continued to do so. they continue to love me as family even when they knew that i wasn't laura. and how they -- it's just fun to always kid around and hang out with them. whenever we do that, it feels very natural and it's just fun. it's like two families being together. and so we always have a great fine with the van ryn family. >> you were friends with laura and the oathers who were killed in that car crash. do you have survivor guilt? >> i definitely did, and i feel like that -- just being the only college student to survive and i know all of them led such great lives and did such great things for jesus and i was only 18 when it all happened and i just -- i don't know. it hit home and especially, like, seeing the families. i just felt like a huge guilt. eyes are always on me, like was i doing a good job, was, like, was it the right choice that i was left behind? i fee