free shipping when you order now at 1800contacts.com oh, just booked a summer vaycay. ooo.nds pricey? nah, with the hotels.com summer sale, you can find awesome deals for places nearby. interesting... wow, i'm blown away. you look great. hotels.com summer sale, save up to 30%. and get a free kindle. hotels.com. be smart. book smart. >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight is an actor whose new film is called "the change-up." >> i'm not mitch. >> what? >> i'm mitch. >> somehow we switched bodies. >> i'm dave. >> oh. >> we pissed in a magic fountain and next day it disappeared. >> and then we were looking for -- >> and when they find it we're going to switch back. >> because we were drinking. >> we were drinking. >> that sounds like a plan. can you get the twins. >> pumpkin. >> mitch, no, no, don't call me pumpkin, okay. you promised me that you would -- >> welcome back to the show jason bateman. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] >> jon: seek it in. soak it in. very nice. very nice. eye -- >> you make me feel so pretty. >> jon: and can i say something, you are pretty

oh, just booked a summer vaycay. ooo. sounds pricey? nah, with the hotels.com summer sale, you can find awesome deals for places nearby. interesting... wow, i'm blown away. you look great. hotels.com summer sale, save up to 30%. and get a free kindle. hotels.com. be smart. book smart. >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. >> it doesn't matter if hulk hogan is body slamming youth like i did with andre the giant but at the end of the day we need to grab these kids and shake them and say "stop it. look at yourself in the mirror. is this what you want? >> stephen: tonight, record temperatures sweep the heartland. if you can't stand the heat, go in the kitchen, get a nice cold drink. (laughter) can the internet make us better human beings? judging from youtube comments no. and you're gay. (laughter) my guests tonight are legendary rockers the cars. at today's gas prices, i don't want to know what what this is costing me. (laughter) captain morgan's ship has been found. if it's anything like

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oh, just booked a summer vaycay. ooo. sounds pricey? nah, with the hotels.com summer sale, you can find awesome deals for places nearby. interesting... wow, i'm blown away. you look great. hotels.com summer sale, save up to 30%. and get a free kindle. hotels.com. be smart. book smart. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. >> markets will rise and fall. but this is the united states of america. no matter what some agency may say, we always have been and captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) >> yeah, yeah, yeah, baby! oh, yeah! pou, pou, pou, pow! thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to the report. good to have you with us! folks, thank you. folks, i just want to start out right now, i want to start out the show by saying i know a lot of you are probably nervous because on friday standard & poor's downgraded america's credit rating. it has always been aaa. but it is now plummeted to the unthinkableably humiliating aa plus. (

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get your weekend back at ace the helpful place oh, just booked a summer vaycay. ooo. sounds pricey? nah, with the hotels.com summer sale, you can find awesome deals for places nearby. interesting... wow, i'm blown away. you look great. hotels.com summer sale, save up to 30%. and get a free kindle. hotels.com. be smart. book smart. (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight he is a 17-year veteran of the fire department of new york. in 2005 he was hit by a bus and suffered life threatening injuries. he chronicles in his experience in his book available in paper back "the long run, a new york city firefighter's comeback from crash victim to elite athlete." please welcome to the program matt long. (cheers and applause) welcome back. thank you so much for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> jon: what a great story. now, i know obviously you're not an accomplished author necessarily. this is the first time because, obviously, clearly surprised you didn't have time to get dressed for the... (laughter) did they just show up and say "matt, get up!" >> i kind of figures

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oh, just booked a summer vaycay. ooo. sounds pricey? nah, with the hotels.com summer sale, you can find awesome deals for places nearby. interesting... wow, i'm blown away. you look great. hotels.com summer sale, save up to 30%. and get a free kindle. hotels.com. be smart. book smart. >>> coming up, why they kicked the new york attorney general off the committee investigating the foreclosure robo signing scandal. it has something to do with him wanting to investigate. >>> and glenn beck wants to restore israel. the beckoning is coming up. the outside looks good... let's see the engine. yeah, let's check out the horses under the hood! show me the carfax. show me the carfax. horsepower, foxpower, same thing. just show me the carfax. before you buy a used car, get a carfax vehicle history report. see accidents and service reported to carfax and a price based on the car's history. ask your dealer or go to carfax.com. just say, show me the carfax. >>> all right, i want to read you a quote that will symbolize everything that's wrong with how

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oh, just booked a summer vaycay. ooo. sounds pricey? the hotels.com summer sale, you can find awesome deals for places nearby. interesting... wow, i'm blown away. you look great. hotels.com summer sale, save up to 30%. and get a free kindle. hotels.com. be smart. book smart. and started earning loads of points. you got a weather balloon with points? yes i did. [ man ] points i could use for just about anything. ♪ ♪ there it is. [ man ] so i used mine to get a whole new perspective. ♪ [ male announcer ] the new citi thankyou premier card gives you more ways to earn points. what's your story? citi can help you write it. >>> let's bring back our panel, bob francn, liz sidotti and ron christie. we had a lot of people making decigs yesterday on candidacies, we'll start with paul ryan. many would say he made the decision he was not running for president, but he put out a statement saying, fyi, i'm not running for president. this time i'm for real. let's not talk about ryan but what is this about clambering in front of other people, we have he

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. ♪ oh, just booked a summer vaycay. ooo. sounds pricey?otels.com summer sale, you can find awesome deals for places nearby. interesting... wow, i'm blown away. you look great. hotels.com summer sale, save up to 30%. and get a free kindle. hotels.com. be smart. book smart. >>> willard mitt romney, he's just an average joe. in 2008 he owned four separate houses across the country bp but like a lot of americans in this tough economy, romney wanted to streamline his lifestyle. back then his spokesman said, quote, they have more space than they need so they are down sizing and simplifying. so in 2009 romney sold his utah ski lodge which fe featured eight full bathrooms for 4 pillon. then dumped his belmont massachusetts home. then took up residents in a nice home outside boston. romney kept the $10 million home in new hampshire and bought a lovely ocean front property in la jolla. which includes, five bathrooms, lap pool and spa. and a deck with panoramic views of the pacific erosion for $12 million. this, ladies and gentlemen, is the home he n

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