as if we were discussing things directly. >> vernon howell is a restless soul. ry, at least when it comes to reading the bible. he's not so great in school, but he knows the bible seemingly by memory. >> howell drops out of high school in the 11th grade. but remains active in his church. then, at the age of 18, temptation tests his faith. >> vernon hung out with high school students after he had dropped out. met a young lady who asked him for a ride home. she invited him into her bedroom. and i think his words were, and i fell into it. >> she had the beauty to make good men fall. i was shy. still a virgin. kind of straight laced on account of my church life. but you know how humanity is. i was intending to marry her, but she turned her back, rejected me. i had forgotten my purpose in life. to be true to his word. god said he would give my first love back to me in time, but he never did. i lost contact with her. and our child, my first born. i had to find my way back to my first faith. i knew it was waiting for me, out there, somewhere. >> vernon had been through

i believe vernon howell, the one who played the part, will be resurrected, raised from the dead.nes that thought they killed him and slaughtered him here, without a trial, without a judgment, he's going to come back to judge them. >> to the best of my knowledge, he is still quite dead, and it's unfortunate because i would have thoroughly enjoyed to be able to analyze and assess and come to grips with the motivations of somebody that could intentionally lead particularly those kids to oblivion. there's a special place in hell for david koresh. >> i'm ready to be delivered. i'm ready to go to the portals of darkness and death, and you're not. let's see if you believe the message after so many years. >> given the behavior of david koresh, the lives he destroyed, the people he killed, the families he ripped apart, the children that he abused, and all that he did, it's hard to view him as anything other than a monst monster. >> my own opinion on it is that he was sin sewer, that he failed, but that he had convinced himself that he was who he said he was. that's my sense of studying me