. >> since returning from iraq, e vidana struggled with seizures, fatigue, depression. >> i have felt like it would have been better had i not lived just because, you know, every day is a struggle with the depression. depression just comes. you know? unexpectedly and with a fury. >> what does that mean? >> i feel like i need to get away from everything. i want to crawl into a cave and shut myself off from the world. >> the metaphorical cave, the darkness is common with returning veterans. one in five iraq and afghanistan war vets return with post traumatic stress disorder or major depression. last year the army had a record number of suicides among its personnel. >> you know, one thing you said to me in the past is that you wished you hadn't survived. >> yeah. >> that was hard to hear. >> yeah. >> do you still feel that way? >> no. i think at the time i was really depressed. the world seemed really bleak. i'm fully aware that i struggle at times. but i feel like that's not a reason to stop living. >> do you see light at the end of the tunnel now? things are brighter for you? >> yeah.