a song i had somehow not heard in all that time, "the whole of the moon" by the waterboys began to playas transported. suddenly i was sitting on a strange blue floor staring at a silver stereo, then suddenly i was in another place, and walking in bright sunshine holding a giant man's hand behind the fence. and in a flash i was in another curious place, and another, and another, until i suddenly saw some coloured glass light and an enormous christmas tree. near the tree, standing in the doorway, there was a woman. she was young, she was smiling, and she didn't have grey hair. she was my mum. and i was her little boy. and it was real. i was finally there with her at last. it's such a short moment and nothing much was said, but it is mine, and that changed everything for me. since then, a few more early memories have come back, not many, but at least now i can face the rest of my story with something ofa beginning in my mind. 0k! it was that magical night that inspired me to start writing. i always leave blank pages in my books, not just because i am lazy, but because the hero has epilepsy